ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

>>16591161
I only got one response from a girl last thread but Im interested in what others think.
Could you stay in a relationship with someone who sexually considers you used goods and unappealing but every other aspect of your relationship is perfect.
Or when you guys finally have the sexual history talk and you realize how they feel about your past would you just break it off there.
This could also be interesting to see how guys respond.

girls, is it a bad thing if I didn't manage to read her hints quite properly?

well to put it in a better way, I was giving her hints too, but I just didn't found hers too complicated so I think I gave her mixed signals too because of it.

She just kinda made it slightly more obvious last time we talked, and so did I so I'm thinking of expressing myself when I talk to her next time, (in a day or two)

>>16591242
I just found hers too complicated*

>>16591230
I'd break it off if the guy was obviously uncomfortable about it. Especially since I've only ever had sex with one guy, and if a guy can't handle the fact that I'm not a virgin, that's not the sort of guy I want to be dating

>>16591230
The real question is why are you attempting a relationship with someone you feel is used goods and repulsive? Don't do that to yourself.

>>16591230
I would break it off because "used goods" is judgmental, shaming bullshit, but I would also never have that conversation. My sexual history, whether I have slept with 1 guy or 100, is my business (excluding STIs I could potentially communicate, obviously I would disclose that), and no good comes from discussing it. The past makes you who you are, and if your partner cares for you they should be grateful for your past.

Caveat: I was raped when I was 16 and had an ex be judgy about it, so maybe I am sensitive about this.

Guys -

Male friend of mine suddenly has started to text me randomly, ask me about my interests, and take an interest in stuff that I like. He teases me a bit more, too. What's a polite way to let him down? Thinking about not responding to his texts...

Spending time with a girl friend a few days before she goes on vacation, and saying goodbye when this exchange happens. Paraphrased it down below, she's green.

Well, have a nice vacation and a merry christmas and all that
>What are you talking about? That soon?
Yeah, you're busy the next few days so I probably won't see you anymore. I might as well say it in advance
>You still have my number, don't you? We'll stay in touch anyway

This conversation made me think she wants to stay in touch. Thing is, everything else says otherwise. If I hit her up, I get emotionless, matter-of-fact, and often single-word responses that imply little more than "fuck off".
I used to hit her up a lot, try to get more out of her than the usual "fuck off". Didn't work, so I stopped trying. Zero interest, zero care, and it's been like that for almost all of last week now.

Girls, what am I supposed to make of this? She's so uninterested in anything I throw at her that I don't even know what to talk about with her anymore. Yet she still acts like we should stay in touch? What?

>>16591280
just tell him you're not interested, and he'll forget you in a few days

>i wanna show no interest while showing interest
goddamit girls

>>16591280
Are you sure he doesn't just want to be a closer friend? Or perhaps is starting to feel more comfortable with you?

Anyway, completely ignoring him is a bitch move. Just do what you usually do, if you don't like what he does respond accordingly. If he gets more aggressive, shoot him down and explain that you don't see him that way. Don't ghost him, that shit is ambiguous as fuck and does nothing but cement a holier-than-thou attitude if you keep it up long enough

>>16591261
Because other aspects of the relationship make us happy.
>>16591275
>"used goods" is judgmental, shaming bullshit
I mean technically speaking youve been used and the goods part is just a metaphor so theres not too much of a need to be offended.
>My history is my business
>I was a predator and raped kids but my partner doesnt need to know that
If you cant share your past youre probably with someone who you know wouldnt approve and you should spare.
>>>16591249
Imagine if your boyfriend slept with 2000 girls. Would that bother you.

>>16591280
Maybe say something like,

>Hey, not trying to read into your intentions, but I'm only interested in remaining friends with you and I don't want you to waste your time

>>16591299
She is trying to be polite, what part of that implied she is showing interest?

>>16591306
>Imagine if your boyfriend slept with 2000 girls. Would that bother you.
Sure, if I knew. I don't ask about this stuff though because I know it would bother me if I don't like the answer and it doesn't affect how good of a boyfriend he is now. I'm not insecure like that.

Girls:

Do you think shy guys are cute or is it a turn off?

>>16591325
Somewhat cute until they can't hold a conversation. Then it gets old fast

>>16591318
Good girl :)

>>16591280
...Shit. Think this might be about me. :| You haven't responded since last night?

Off chance it is you, just realized I don't know a lot about you despite knowing you for over a year when you are always kind to me and know things about me. So, yeah...

>>16591326
This

It's cute at first, almost customary in a way but assertiveness needs to take over fast

>>16591328
So what response would you appreciate? Would you like her to tell you clearly that she isn't interested? Or hint at it by responding infrequently?

>>16591343
I don't really care -- prior to seeing that post, I just assumed she lost interest / got bored of our conversation. That's her right.

If she truly thinks I'm in to her (and if I wanted to date her), I would appreciate the direct approach. It's incredibly sexy and lets me know I need to move on.

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Women who use Tinder, would you be weirded out if a guy you matched with 6+ months ago suddenly messaged you?

Do you expect/require a guy to message right away?

Girls:

Is confidence the only thing that matters? Like if I'm a guy who happens to be the ugliest son of a bitch in all of California, can I still get a gf with confidence alone?

>>16591318
Im not the type to hide things from each other. Especially things that could change the relationship.

>>16591372
There's a difference between hiding things, and just not discussing them. And did you not read
>it doesn't affect how good of a boyfriend he is now
If a girl is someone you want to date now, her sexual history is irrelevant. There's no reason to insist on talking about sexual history unless you're insecure

>>16591368
Alone? Of course not.

Girls...
What are some instant turn-ons/green flags for you

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>>16591355
To add to this, what are some of the smaller Tinder mistakes/missteps guys might make that cause you to unmatch or flake out on them?

I don't mean the really obvious things like sending you unsolicited dick pics, demanding nudes, or using offensive/sexist language. What are the smaller, more subtle things that cause you to unmatch? Things that might not be immediately obvious to him?

>>16591399

>has a good relationship with his mom/sisters/close female relative
>is kind to animals, children, old people, and workers
>doesn't talk about his ex gf, doesn't call her a "crazy bitch"
>has friends, hobbies, and opinions not from or influenced by the internet
>understands and respects boundaries
>isn't super closed off and can be honest about his feelings

Made friends with this girl I met through some dating app/rating app thingy early December.

Last time we chatted was 15th December and now she hasn't made contact so far.

I am slightly worried since she had an upset stomach during that day but I also think she just might be with her family members celebrating Christmas, I worry easily don't know for sure.

Should I wait after Christmas eve to text her again? I do want to send a Christmas Greeting email during Christmas Eve just in case.

>>16591379
>her criminal history is irrelevant
I dont see how people can say things like this so easily.

>>16591518
>opinions not from or influenced by the internet
So just another generic uninformed guy?

>>16591581

You literally just equated Sex to Crime....

Wut?

>>16591280
How about you give him a chance...
If youre not busy or currently interested in another guy theres literally nothing wrong with going on a date with someone and giving them a chance to change you mind. Just pretext it with
>I dont really think youll change my mind...

Damn is it really that painful to give someone a chance at least to prove it to themselves. You lose nothing by doing it. Do you find him disgusting or something?

>>16591353
>It's incredibly sexy
What??

>>16591589
I equated to aspects of a persons past. Saying the past doesnt matter is stupid because it obviously does.

>>16591581
Do you ask people their criminal history before you date them too?

And in any case: let's assume that sexual history and criminal history are the same like you're suggesting. If you didn't know what someone's criminal history was, would you care? Regarding sexual history, this really is a case of what you don't know won't hurt you. As long as your partner is STD free, which I is within your right to inquire into, then their sexual history doesn't affect your relationship.

Girl was kissing me a lot tonight and got on top of me and then started kissing me with tongue and when I tried she laughed because I was so bad.

I don't know how to kiss and I don't want this to ruin a relationship how do I get better help.

>>16591594
Wow, someone's been turned down one too many times. She doesn't owe him anything. If she doesn't want to date him, she doesn't have to.

It could cause extra drama if she gets his hopes up and then rejects him later. So it's not a completely harmless thing to do.

>>16591594
There's nothing to prove if she's not attracted to him. Calm your tits and stop projecting.

>>16591604
Ask her. She seems friendly if she took it lightly

>>16591597

No.... you could have said,
>her gaming history is irrelevant
>her scholastic history is irrelevant
>her medical history is irrelevant
>her mental history is irrelevant

There were plenty of other innocuous things you could have said to bring your point across (some of which were even reasonable and valid)

You deliberately chose to polarize it and use Crime.

Way to load a statement and show your biased colors <.<

>>16591601
I dont Q&A a person before dating them. There are things that you only tell people after getting closer to them. I have secrets that I dont tell every girl at first but when the relationship starts getting serious its time to have that talk. Criminal history, sexual history, really anything that could cause discomfort in the relationship.
I can only imagine how betrayed Id feel if I found out the girl I married didnt tell me she used to rape kids, or did facial abuse porn and I found out from someone else.

>>16591615
I didnt say or imply any of those things were irrelevant. My statement isnt loaded. Its just youre biased and cant see that a persons history matters.

>>16591616
If someone had a past which involved something so deviant that you wouldn't want to date or marry them, there will be other signs, be it their personality or behaviour. You wouldn't need to ask them about that stuff.

>>16591612
Its not to prove to herself. Its for him. He thinks he can do it and theres no reason why she shouldnt go on 1 date, have some fun. Then tell him she still doesnt see him that way.
He gets a chance and can fully let go knowing that even when given a chance he cant change her mind.
She gets a fun night and loses nothing.
Stop being selfish.

>>16591621
Or they could have gotten passed it in their life and become a better person, or just be really good at hiding it.
Its not something for them to decide whether or not ill be okay with it.

>>16591629
He doesn't have anything to prove if she's not attracted to him. Going on a date is not going to make her suddenly attracted to him. There's no point in 'giving him a chance', because he's not going to redeem himself. Seriously, stop projecting.

At 28 years old, how do I explain I'm a virgin? Do people ask? I never had a relationship, never spoke to the opposite sex in the slightest flirtations way. I'm afraid I'll panic if I get to the bedroom, but first I'm worried on how to make past the conversation. People don't ask at that age, do they? They'll just assume I'm not? Should I mention that I am? Or should I make up another excuse for having no clue of what am I doing?

>>16591640
Yes, but if you don't know, then there's nothing to not be okay with. What matters is who the person is when you're dating them, and if you're happy with who they are with you, then their past makes no difference to that.

>>16591629
>selfish
lol
So lonely. Keep blaming the chicks. If only they had given you a chance! Then they'd really love you!
But they're all whores who just want to see the Nice Guy™ suffer. How could she? How dare she? She owes every man her time!

>>16591642
>Going on a date is not going to make her suddenly attracted to him.
It happens all the time. You know how many girls Ive had to tell this to about guys they didnt like, only later to start dating them. If youre not unattracted to the person then there is still a small chance for them and it literally cant hurt you.
>redeem himself
Did he do something wrong. Probably not. He just needs a chance to show her what he has to offer.
Shit this is why so many girls date bad guys and ignore sweet little anon in the corner until they are ready to settle down. You probably dont even fully know what you want from a guy.

>>16591368
Confidence is nice, but not required.

>>16591649
Girls throw themselves at me and Im definitely not a nice guy. Im jaded as fuck because of how nice guys finish last. Worst part is I was a nice guy in highschool but said fuck that shit when in college and suddenly girls find you attractive.
I know its largely due to the boost in confidence and what I like to call more personality but for a lot of guys its not that easy to just show that side of you but when on a date you at least get a chance. I fully expect the guy to fail but its better to fail than never have a chance. At least you get to learn. If he wasnt a friend then sure tell them to fuck off, but is spending on night at a theater and dinner with a friend who wants to try to impress you really that bad.

>>16591645
> if you don't know your spouse used to rape kids, then there's nothing to not be okay with
I honestly cant understand this mentality. Imagine if you spouse cheated on you 10 years ago and slept around with someone everyday for a year. But regretted it and "changed" but never told you only for you to see a video of it later. Is it better that they never told you because youre happy with who they are and their past mistakes dont make a difference.
I just cant agree with that.

>>16591662
>You know how many girls Ive had to tell this to about guys they didnt like, only later to start dating them
Yeah, but that wasn't after a single date. Going on a date isn't going to do anything right now. Maybe she'll want to date him later, maybe not, but a date now isn't going to do anything.

>it literally cant hurt you.
Yes, but it could hurt him. Going on a date with someone who you know you're not attracted to and don't want to be in a relationship with is the very definition of leading someone on. If they're friends, it makes perfect sense that she doesn't want to date him because 'it can't hurt'

>He just needs a chance to show her what he has to offer. What he has to offer is irrelevant if SHE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM. I really don't know what's so hard to understand about this concept. And if they're friends, she already knows what he has to offer, there's nothing he can show her on a date that she hasn't seen yet.

>Shit this is why so many girls date bad guys and ignore sweet little anon in the corner until they are ready to settle down. You probably dont even fully know what you want from a guy.
I couldn't ask for a better guy than my boyfriend. He's a nice guy (not a Nice Guy) and my best friend, and I really don't know what I'd do without him. I do know what I want, and I want him.

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For the ladies:

> Did you ever plan/dream about your wedding? How would you describe yourself and what are your future plans in life?
> Do you have female friends that did? How would you describe their personalities?

>>16591679
That idea makes my skin crawl. Going on a date with someone I wasn't interested in? I'd be constantly worried that he was going to try to hold my hand or pit his arm around me or something. I'd be uncomfortable the whole time. It's not fair to either of us.

Sure, if a girl was hesitant about whether or not she wanted to, she should probably try and see what happens. But if she already is against the idea, forcing her to spend time with a guy she isn't interested is not going to be a fun night.

>>16591687
If your spouse raped kids, there'd be signs that they were fucked up.

>Imagine if you spouse cheated on you 10 years ago and slept around with someone everyday for a year. But regretted it and "changed" but never told you only for you to see a video of it later
That's different, because it's part of our relationship. It's related to me and them, not them and the rest of the world.

>>16591690
>He just needs a chance to show her what he has to offer. What he has to offer is irrelevant if SHE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM. I really don't know what's so hard to understand about this concept. And if they're friends, she already knows what he has to offer, there's nothing he can show her on a date that she hasn't seen yet.
Should be
>He just needs a chance to show her what he has to offer.
What he has to offer is irrelevant if SHE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM. I really don't know what's so hard to understand about this concept. And if they're friends, she already knows what he has to offer, there's nothing he can show her on a date that she hasn't seen yet.

>>16591643
Pls respond, I was invited on a date, I said yes, but now I'm panicking and almost making up an excuse to say no. Really, what are odds of someone noticing I'm a virgin, or asking about it, or caring at all?

>>16591706
I've never asked a guy his sexual history. Don't self sabotage.

>>16591708
And have guys ever asked you? On a first date?

>>16591691
I've never been the type to plan or fantasize about weddings. Big weddings seem flashy and expensive. I'd rather use the money to spend on more long-term stuff in my long-term partner instead of one single day. I'm not a party person and don't like having all the attention of me. To me, the actual relationship means so much more than the wedding or the paperwork. I absolutely want a traditional, life-long, committed, loving relationship, but I don't think I'll ever get legally married. I don't agree with that. A wedding ceremony, maybe.

My friends have probably talked about it but I honestly can't remember details.

>>16591690
>Yeah, but that wasn't after a single date.
This happens on my campus all the fucking time. Its not a "date" but its a day of hanging out and usually its enough for the girl to go on a few more "dates"
Just a fucking chance.
>Yes, but it could hurt him. Going on a date with someone who you know you're not attracted to and don't want to be in a relationship with is the very definition of leading someone on.
God I hate fucking women. Thats not how a guys mind works at all. When never given the chance for something you only see what could have been. They probably arent going to remain friends. Id bet you anything. Theres no way he could watch her date other guys and not think to himself if only she gave him a chance.
>I couldn't ask for a better guy than my boyfriend. He's a nice guy (not a Nice Guy) and my best friend, and I really don't know what I'd do without him. I do know what I want, and I want him.
Obviously if youre in a relationship you wouldnt go on a date with someone.
>>16591700
> if SHE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM
If shes unattracted to him then sure. Otherwise spend a fucking day with your friend.
>she already knows what he has to offer
No, just no. I dont even believe you believe this.
>>16591693
>I'd be constantly worried that he was going to try to hold my hand or pit his arm around me or something
Does the idea of him touching you repulse you. Then youre clearly unattracted to him and shouldnt go on the date.
Also hand holding and putting your arms around girls is not something you do on a first date especially if they no you dont want it.
Literally preface it with, "I doubt youre going to change my mind, but Im not doing anything" spend some time with him. Watch him spill spaghetti everywhere. He'll get the picture or you can just tell him that you enjoyed the day but can't see him like that. If you hate spending time with him then why are you friend.

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Anyone:

I am getting a lot of men talking TO me about my looks (how gorgeous I am, how I'm wonderful, how soft my hair looks etc.) and they just go on and on and now they're saying the love me. One leaves me voice messages at work (they're all customers from work). I work alone. I'm not frightened for my safety, but I don't know how to tell them off. I'm very meek but when pushed I go from being polite to being a total and absolute cunt. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I don't want to be uncomfortable and I don't want to be unprofessional as I have to see them daily/weekly.

Girls - how do you deal with this?

Guys - how would you want to be dealt with?

>>16591706
No body cares that you're a virgin. Seriously. No proper human being will ask you your sexual history the first date. (If they do, they're incredibly tacky and not worth your time.)

>>16591694
>If your spouse raped kids, there'd be signs that they were fucked up.
Or they could have gotten over it and become a better person, or be a good fucking liar.
>That's different, because it's part of our relationship
Its part of the past and its not who they are now. Hell you could even argue that it doesnt matter because its between them and the people they slept with. As long as you dont know and are happy it shouldnt matter.
Blissful ignorance is still just ignorance.

>>16591706

I lost my shit late. She didn't notice, or didn't say anything.

But we're still together and all of that.

Probably helps that I'm white and she's black and I'm the first guy that hasn't beaten her/raped her/etc.

>>16591763
>>16591759
>>16591708
Thank you all so much.
I think I can go through with this.

>>16591770

Some girls like it. Some actively seek to deflower guys. You might hit the lotto with one of those types.

But I think it's something you can share years down the road if you're still together, or if you really want to bust that first nut, go on Fetlife and find you an obese and/or middle-aged woman. Easy lays.

>>16591756
Do they show signs of wanting more from you. If not just let it go. Honestly when you grow up youll learn to appreciate being told your are beautiful.
This is exactly how people who hate being comforted when they are hurt act. They push those who try to help away only to realize that they enjoyed the fact that at least someone was trying to help.

>>16591643
Its probably going to come up. If youre confident she'll understand. hell women love virgins. They get to not feel like a whore for a night when they sleep with you.
Literally just say that you havent found the right girl or some nonsense about how you just havent been in an environment where you could pursue girls for that last few years.

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>>16591775
I'm 33. Two have asked me out. I feel cornered and I don't know how to tell them no without coming off as incredibly cruel. Well, three, I went for dinner (because he got it for free) and even though I specifically said I wasn't looking for a relationship, he asked if he could court me. I'm seriously thinking of wearing an engagement ring but I actually would like a relationship, just not with someone who talks TO me about my looks and assumes things about me without actually talking WITH me.

>This is exactly how people who hate being comforted when they are hurt act. They push those who try to help away only to realize that they enjoyed the fact that at least someone was trying to help.
? I don't follow you.

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>>16591801
learn to enjoy the fact that people want you. Let them down though but let them know you appreciate it.

>>16591325
I'm with a shy guy. It's super cute if you don't like overly cocky douchey dudes. At some points in our courting it got irritating because I wanted him to make it CLEAR TO ME that he wanted me. I literally had to make him ask me out. Don't do that. (I'm still with him after 5 years though so.. maybe do do that? idk!)

>girl I was really good friends with in middle school comments on a post on made on her Facebook during that time recently
>always is kinda wry and not quite flirty but idk the word for it when I go into the store she works at
??what does it mean

>>16591819
to add to this, we see eachother at shows every now and then and stuff too. not just the middle school thing thats just context

>>16591368
Hell no. If you're an ugly SOB then have some humility. I know a lady, 10/10 model that is about to marry the harriest ugliest manbeast I've ever seen. he has terrible manners too. What's his appeal? He's honest and humble about who he is. Don't hate yourself but definitely don't wave your drooping mantits like they're chest dicks.

>>16591399
A guy who likes animals. Kills me. And a guy who can babytalk with a baby. My fiance saves silverfish from the bath before we shower. Sounds lame but it's literally the cutest fucking thing about him. But don't try to be like this if you aren't because any girl worth a damn will know you're full of shit.

>>16591722
No. I would be surprised if they did on the very first date. Kinda rude.

>>16591770
Good luck!!

>>16591756
I'm not the most attractive girl in the world but I get my fair share of harassment. In my situation, I happen to be engaged, so I find it VERY disrespectful and will flat out go on a rant in their face about how douchey they are being and if they want to be friends then, fine, but stop fishing for pussy.

When I am single, I get hit on a lot less. When I do and its unwanted, I would tolerate it for a while, but then very nicely tell them that they are a friend to me and the attention is unwanted.

In this case... well, you must be drop dead gorgeous if you're getting this much attention. Buuuut.... you maybe need to not be a pushover and say something to them about how its inappropriate and you don't appreciate it.

>>16591749
I'm not going to go on a date with someone I don't want to go on a date with.

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>>16591809
It's more that I have some really socially awkward guys (five currently) that I see on a regular basis through work and I'm not adept enough to be able to tell them that it's nice, but knock it off. I'm rational after the fact, but during I'm stupidly speechless. Last week, a man twice my age wanted to take me out for dinner and wanted a "yes". I was literally physically trapped in my office, the only way out was past him. It was ten minutes to close and I he knew I wouldn't be busy; very manipulative. (Again, I work alone, so I don't have co workers that can come ask me to "help them".) One guy sends me photos of himself to my work email and leaves "thinking of you, love you" voice mails. I don't respond to him at all and only answer work related questions. I'd figure after months he'd get the idea, but no. They also give me small gifts, like a Terry's Chocolate orange and I feel stupid for declining, but accepting I feel like I owe them my time/something. Ugh.

I was also gaslighted a lot as a kid so I'm afraid that telling them off, they'll flip it back to me that I'm reading into things, making things up, etc.

Re: your photo - lol feminists are something else.

>>16591756
This would be why most females choose to be fat, aloof, and bitchy. Men are scum. You're not being a cunt if you tell them their actions are inappropriate. Seriously. Gain some self respect and SET YOUR BOUNDARIES.

You sound like a daddy's girl who was taught that a woman is to be submissive to her man and work for her man's love. You're a woman. A beautiful gift of God put on this earth not just to look pretty and produce children. You have a voice, you have a choice, and you deserve to be respected as a person. Put your foot down, girl. Stop being a sissy and be a bitch. Seriously.

do girls find really fit and muscular guys really hot

>>16591893
Yes. Gimme.

>>16591399
Green light:
He read more books than I have, and they're not silly fiction.
>it never happened, or ever will, but I can dream

>>16591756
>Girls - how do you deal with this?
Say thank you for a couple compliments. Then am courteous enough to pretend I didn't hear, or read whatever awkward new compliment is thrown my way. If they can't catch a hint, I ignore them completely. If they ask what's wrong, I'm honest and tell them their attention is making me uncomfortable, since I'm interested and didn't know how to tell without being rude.
No enemies made so far under that procedure.

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>>16591848
>you maybe need to not be a pushover and say something to them about how its inappropriate and you don't appreciate it.
Yeah, I just hate hurting someone's feelings. I am more than happy to flirt with men I'm not attracted as long as those men know the boundaries that it'll never be more. I have men like that in my life and it's fine. I just don't want to hurt these guys' feelings if I'm their brightness of the day. (The less creepy of them says the highlight of his day is my smile.) These are weird old lonely guys who make me uncomfortable, but I don't want to crush them.

>>16591862
>Men are scum.
I hope you didn't get that impression from my posts. I have a very attractive male friend and he gets as much unwanted attention from women. I'm female and thus will attract male attention. (There's not a large lesbian population here.)

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>>16591893
YES OH GOD YES.

>>16591893
... depends. If they have those gross veins jumping out their muscles, hell no.
But mildly muscular like >>16591931, yup.

>>16591735
Thanks for your input.

>>16591893
Otter mode is best mode, anymore and it's too much.

>>16591941
Mildly muscular? That dude is fucking jacked. Jesus christ what kind of standards do you have?

>>16591927
they're obviously not caring about your feelings if they're giving you unwanted attention. Why should you care about theirs?

If you really need to pussyfoot around so much, then just be professional about it. "This really isn't appropriate. I appreciate the compliments, but can you please maintain a professional level of affection?" something to that effect.

No, I just dislike men in general. Save for a few genuine gems. Your male friend should be just as upfront as you should be. it's about professionalism. Attractiveness isn't that big of a deal anyway. It's society that hypes it up. It must be irritating to be treated as Gods just because you got lucky in the gene pool, right? Be honest about it. It might be the highlight of a person's life to hear some honesty. I know it's usually the highlight of mine.

This is question for everyone I guess
Male, 23.

I've gotten a girlfriend before by just cold approach. I've approached around 20 girls I've considered cute or attractive, in my life. Now, however I won't do it and I can't figure out why.

I know I can do it, I know it can lead to results. I'm not trying to be some PUA god or anything, I just want the ability to be able to approach any girl I would ever find attractive, without being a bitch about it.

So, question is
Guys: Do you approach women, what gives you the actual push to do it if you do? I don't care about your actual techniques so much as what forces you to walk over to her.

Girls: Are you approached often? How do you feel about it? If not, do you wish more guys would?

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>>16592059
>>>/fit/

dyel?

>>16592078
>Are you approached often?
Pretty much never
>If not, do you wish more guys would?
Nah

>>16592078
I'm a... more masculine type of woman so I don't generally like to be approached. And you definitely wouldn't tell this by my looks. I get told very often that I look sweet and demure, almost cherub-like and everyone just assumes I'm going to be this sweet little kawaii potato. WRONG.

Best advice I can give you is just be yourself. Don't think that just because some chicks on the internet told you what works is what's going to work. Girls who expect guys to JUST KNOW what to do without even talking to them for a minute are dumb. Any woman genuinely looking for a REAL connection, will give you the time of day and communicate with you, regardless of what you look like.

>>16592078
You'll bother a lot less people, perhaps including yourself, if you remove the PUA terminology from your mind without actually changing the meaning. "Cold approach" just means talking to people. "Techniques" is just what you say.

Yes I talk to women (and men) that I don't know. I do it because it's fun and because my personality is carefree and I'm not afraid to meet new people. I actually have a lot of fun with the people I meet, and sometimes I'm attracted to them enough to ask for contact details, maybe a Facebook or a phone number, and we might hang out later to talk more.

>>16591941
This is the worst shit. This is the guy equivalent of the impossible to obtain female shape and beauty standard.
Just so you and all the whores who like muscular guys know, this body is impossible to obtain and maintain recreationally. Meaning unless you are literally getting paid and building your body up professionally, this is impossible without supplements and cheating all around.
At least it is at a height above 6 foot. By calling a guy whos probably taken supplements and is pushing the natty limit "mildly muscular" youre supporting body dysmorphia in men as well. Its like how everyone thinks porn dicks are the norm and all guy are afraid their average dick is small. Its worse than that of women because guys cant even naturally achieve this and its not as simple as stop eating like a fatass.

>>16591931
Lel. A muscular man that plays the vidya. those dont exist.

>>16591893
If I'm in love with a guy and he is muscular or chooses to be muscular then that's okay. If a random guy came up to me flexing his muscles trying to be hot.. I would not find that hot.

I had an ex try to get my attention in the gym one day by flexing his arms into the mirror and admiring me as he admired himself. I didn't realize it was my ex until later but it made me fucking sick. Literally fucking sick. Even worse when I found out later it was my ex. I thought to myself, "AND I DATED THAT GUY? WHAT. THE. FUCKKKKK."

>>16592081
I actually lost it. This is so funny because its so true.

>>16591860
>I really appreciate it, but no thank you.
In the cutest possible voice. And try to get passed him. If he still refuses this is pretty much holding you hostage at this point so look for any excuse to scream.

For other girls, guys are welcome to reply as well - how do you feel about guys/partners that aren't into cuddling and don't show much affection? Is there something wrong with me, or are some people just like that?

I've dated two guys in my teens, whom were both my age and very sweet. They both liked to cuddle after sex, were very loving and affectionate - would shower me with kisses, spoon me until we both fell asleep, hold me if I was freezing etc. We could lay for 6 hours, just tangled up completely in each other, and just feel each others warmth and bodies (I like sex a lot, but this is the best, honestly). I'm now seeing a guy who's 10 years my senior, and he doesn't show much affection, except when he wants to have sex. We experimented with something that I felt was very new and rather uncomfortable for me. I told him this. I tried spooning with him afterwards, but he just turned away on his side and fell asleep. Rolled as far away from me as he could. I really needed some affection. He doesn't really kiss/hug/touch me either, except when he wants to fuck. It makes me feel very unattractive, uncomfortable and alone. We haven't been together for long, but it really bothers me and makes me feel terrible.

>>16592123
Only wants the sex. Doesn't help that he's like way older than you. Red flag mah nigga.

>>16592059
>>16592103
That's mildly muscular to anyone who attends a gym with any frequency. I know women whose thighs might be bigger than his.
Supplements are part of life for anyone into working out. Not all of them are the terrible, poisonous kind or whatever people will have you believe. So what if that is a body type hard to obtain, why do you have to obtain it? It's not the only attractive body type. Take your insecurity elsewhere.

>>16592123
I wouldn't be able to date someone like that. I also wouldn't date someone way older than me.

>>16592135
>That's mildly muscular to anyone who attends a gym with any frequency
You mean roiders. Yeah theres a lot of those in the gym. My whole point about being natty.

>>16592132

Yeah, I suspected this too, and my friends say the same. He told me he's never slept with someone he didn't like very much, though, and he texts and calls me a lot. And we can have interesting, hour-long conversations, but I honestly don't know if he has any interest in me besides sex (I'm pretty inexperienced and honestly not that good in bed).

>>16592137

Never tried dating with the age difference before either, it's fun and exciting, but probably makes us pretty mismatched. I've had feelings for him for a long time and kinda idolized him too, so it makes the situation worse, because it doesn't seem like these feelings are requited, but I'm honestly not sure.

But I'm happy to hear I'm not a weirdo about the cuddling, it makes me feel terribly. I told my friend, and she said she too needed to lay alone after sex and didn't want any physical contact. I'm the complete opposite.

Thank you both for your replies!

>>16592123
The fact that he not only never shows you any kind of physical affection unless he wants to fuck, AND just rolled over far away from you and fell asleep after something he knew you were uncomfortable with, means he's a piece of shit and not worth your time. It sounds like he's literally only with you for sex, and obviously that's not a good foundation for a romantic relationship.

Dump him, you deserve better. You shouldn't be feeling like that, especially when you haven't even been together for that long.

>>16592078
>Guys: Do you approach women, what gives you the actual push to do it if you do? I don't care about your actual techniques so much as what forces you to walk over to her.

I just don't give a fuck. I talk to people (men or women) because why not. I meet tons of people and if I find them interesting enough, I just ask for their number or whatever. 95% of the time, I'm not interested enough to though, because while I might have fun talking to and being friendly with strangers, it doesn't mean I need every single person I meet to be a part of my life.

>>16592158

Thank you so much for your reply. I rationally agree with you completely, and most of my friends say the same. When he just rolled over and started snoring, while I was in pain and sore, it made me feel so alone. I nearly started crying, and even though there was not that far between us, I felt completely alone. Weird thing is that I've had my first and only night stand with a very cute guy, and he cuddled me to sleep and was extremely affectionate towards me, even when there was no feelings involved.

I know I should dump him, but I've known him for a long will and he's the first person I've had very strong feelings for, so it's very hard for me, and it's just such a shitty situation. He makes me feel unhappy and alone sometimes, but the thought of not seeing him again makes me feel nauseous. But I know you're right and I really appreciate your advice.

Ok guys, does this mean anything more than shy awkwardness;

I'm a single lady working a warehouse kind of job with a bunch of guys. Most are married/taken, no biggie, but there's one guy I'm pretty sure is single who I'm kind of interested in. I don't really act different towards him, that I know of. I'm kinda socially awkward and treat everyone the same? Always jovial and joking around but working hard. Anyways...

So, the guy in question, seems quick (first to respond) to help me anytime I call out over the radio for help, or he'll walk by and ask if I need help (when he has other things to do), and to let him know if/when I do need help. Ugh, I hope I'm not rambling...anyways. He is very helpful, but sometimes when we pass each other while walking around the store, he'll look away quick when we make eye contact, as if I was a stranger.

So, gents...does he do this because he's shy, or ?

And no...outright asking him would be way outta my introverted comfort zone...am I doomed to a life of confusion!?

>>16592153
I hope everything works out for you, anon.

Why don't girls like to cuddle?

I don't want a gf because it sounds fucking stressful. I just want a warm qt girl to cuddle and relax, why is that impossible to find?

>>16592180

Well...either way... if you're not willing to do anything about it... what's the point of knowing?

>>16592197
Cuddling with someone who isn't my SO would just feel bad and wrong.

What does it mean when a girl says she was involved with someone

How am I supposed to know when a girl likes me?

>>16592197

>>16591161
>>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
>No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

>>16592249
Because I'm old fashioned and think the guy usually makes the first move, so I want to know if I should expect a move, or move on.

>>16592249
Also, it's not quite that I won't do anything about it...I'm just clueless on what to do besides outright asking...which would just be...weird...

Oh shit oh shit I'm fucked

I havent got my gf anything for Christmas yet

Tips on what to get on such short notice

>>16592356
>>16592343

No... You could just ask if he wants to grab a coffee or a drink some time. That easy.

My girlfriend asked me out first, I just smiled and said, Hey, you beat me do it by literally seconds.

>>16591281
Bump.

>>16592180

>outright asking him would be way outta my introverted comfort zone...am I doomed to a life of confusion!?
So fucking what? Leave your comfort zone if you want anything to change. My comfort zone is in the garage, but I know damn well I won't be meeting many women in there.

>>16592389
Fancy candle, nice scarf, stuffed animal

>>16592486
Got the stuffed animal checked off, she got some nice candles today, and I'll hit up the mall tomorrow till I find something special

I found a really cute shirt she'll love online from her fav band too

my guilty pleasure for the last few weeks has been listen to the hit 90s single 'mmmbop' by the hanson bros. how much of a faggot am i?

I have a job where I'll change into a singlet and shorts to exercise
This female friend sometimes gives me a huge smile, a massive grin or opened mouth when she sees me like that

Is that good?

>>16592526
I'm not even that buff, but she'll still stare at my arms

So what does it mean if a girl responds to your texts 2-3 hours later?
Does it mean she's not interested because she doesn't reply quickly?
Or does it mean she IS interested because she makes a point to respond?
Or am I dumb for overthinking this?

Girls:

Do girls on their twenties like Hall and Oates?

I haven't met a girl who has even heard of them. I just want to sing "I can't go for that" with a cute girl ;_;

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This isn't so much a message to a person but to the people of /adv/ (im drunk so please bare with me), i've found myself for the first time in a situation where i can lose my virginity but I don't know if I should, i know there's a lot of people on here who would kill to be in my position but i for whatever reason find myself unsettled to giving my first time to some random fling. I know that afterwards most people think it to be point less to have given so much high standard to their virginity.
Should I just do it? I really don't even know why I'm making such a big deal out of this to be completely honest, I just have this idea in my head where the moment I lose it is in this perfect moment which is incredibly unrealistic.

Guys: what is the preferred/desired labia? The outer labia, majora.

>>16592586

That moment is total bullshit.

I lost my virginity to a random, because fuck it.

It was completely empty and vapid feeling.

It wasn't until my 3rd partner that I actually even enjoyed sex, and it wasn't even because I was madly in love with the person, it's because it was just with someone I genuinely liked.

People over hype this shit up in both directions.

>>16592593

Literally the definition of sour grapes

>not having sex with someone you love

pleb

>>16592586
Yes, just fucking man up and do it. It's not a big deal. It'll be fun.
I wish someone had told me the same thing years ago.

>>16592591

Don't give a fuck or pay any attention to that.

Just be clean, have good hygiene, and hopefully a good diet so you don't taste terrible.

>>16592574
You're overthinking it

>>16592593

im getting mixed signals here.
I'm 19.
I know I should just take my opportunity and fucking do it but I don't know why I get the feeling that I shouldn't.
The person in particular who has me in this situation to begin with doesnt even know Im a virgin and Iget the feeling that if they find out i am they wouldnt even be interested in any of this shit>>16592594
>>16592596

>>16592594
Sour grapes? Your virginity isn't special. Its just that no one wants to sleep with your clit penis bald snowflake ass. Uhhh hurr durr Matt Damon Matt Damon. You ramble on as if you know anything about life. No you just read books and pose as if you have life experience with invalid ass.

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>>16592601
Yes, finish it

Have sex with someone who cares nothing for you

Then join me at my side

>>16592602
with your invalid ass

>>16592601

My point was, don't do it because you feel pressured to get it over with or because you feel desperate or whatever.

Do it because it feels right and you want to enjoy yourself.

That's was the difference between my first partner and my 3rd partner, and why they were completely different experiences.

>>16592594
I have had sex with someone I love, and it's a completely different ballgame. I'm just saying "losing your virginity" hype is bullshit. Sex isn't inherently some mind blowing experience.

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>>16592602

I'm a guy and I listen to Bieber. I'm not a fan but I dont think his music is that bad. Is this really bad?

>>16592591
It's not really a big deal. I'd think worse of a woman if she had surgery over it if that's what you're thinking about.

>>16592574
You're overthinking it. I often end up going an hour or two until i respond, not because of any mind games but because I'm busy and don't notice the alert.

>>16592624
You have a terminal case of shit taste

>>16591856
This is why nice guys finish last. Can't even get a chance. Your friendship is probably going to fall apart but I doubt you care at all. Enjoy being used by assholes.
Honestly it's shot like this that makes men use woman. Honestly sometimes you just want to be a nice guy for a her but if you do you'll never get a chance.

Ladies,
How do I convince you to give me a hand job. Like we're best friends, and both aren't interested in each other, so like a fwb except I just want a penis massage.
During Netflix and chill I run her breast and ass and she doesn't mind, but I'm pretty sure there are negative signs if I'm rubbing to close to her vag

I just want a damn hand job.

>>16592982

I've literally been called nice or sweet by every girl I've ever dated. I've been turned down for a second date exactly once, and the reason she gave was she felt like she falls in love too easy and she couldn't seriously date me because her religion mean she could never marry me (I had mixed feelings about it because I really liked her... but also... that's some pretty crazy shit to hear after a first date...)

I think your problem isn't that you're nice, rather that you're a Nice Guy™

>>16593001
I'm not nice, I assume woman are sluts now and don't really value them anymore. And if course women come on to me.
But I'd rather find qt I can be nice to. But I no longer have faith in women so I'll keep doing what works and treat them as whores.

If I cut my pubes with scissors, will it be itchy or otherwise uncomfortable afterwards? I'm only planning to cut things back a little bit.

>>16593008
no, as long as you dont shave it down the the skin youll be alright

Where can i find a more nerdy girl that's into computers, and you non typical hobbies(things ive done that I consider non typical, metal detecting, built a small foundry for metal casting, mushroom hunting, archery, getting into random crafting things, rock climbing, etc)

I want someone who will take interest in those types of things, I got out of a relationship of 4+ years, if im going to look for someone else i want them to be extremely compatible with me. I'm looking for a permanent relationship, looks are no longer that important to me, as long as they are fit.

Anyways, im 25 so im not in college anymore and I don't go to parties because i only have like 5 good friends and 3 of them live in other states.

Where do I go to find girls at this age?

>>16593004
And that switch pretty much confirms my Nice Guy™ theory.

>>16593021
You are looking for a boyfriend.
I'm sorry to break it to you but you are gay.

That switch confirms that women are whores. You can't ever get a chance without treating them like garbage. I can't even hook up my nice guy friend with girls because they start liking me first even though I treat then like shit.
God high school was worst about it. Women would always "consider" me because they thought I was attractive but then go suck chads dick instead.

>>16593021

Rock climbing is easy (along with cross fit, it's kind of a fad around here at least, and tons of women are doing it) the rest.... try online?

Truth is, you're never going to find anyone who will take all the same interests that you do (even if you did, personally i'd find that boring as fck), but if you're lucky, you'll find someone who at least shares or is at least willing to explore your core passions (I.E. I love craft beer and food, my GF loves live concerts and art. I've definitely expanded her epicureal curiosity, and she's definitely taken me to a few shows and exhibits)

If you really want to find someone cool with ALL those hobbies from the get go, try online?

>>16593041
Like I said, I've never treated women like garbage, and it's actually directly why a lot of women become attracted to me.

The thing is, I'm nice, but I also don't give a fuck about pandering to people. I'm nice purely because I want to be, because it makes me feel good, and because the only person I give two shits about impressing is myself.

Nice =/= spineless milksop.

>>16593033
welp looks like im gay

Are there really no qt's into that stuff?
My last gf was into the foraging type stuff, like metal detecting and mushroom hunting.

but no interest in any other things I liked.

I just want qt to love and do things with!

>>16593050
Yeah, i can understand them not being interested in everything, but i at least want them to give it a shot. Id love for them to share and teach me their interests as well, a bi-lingual woman would be awesome, as they could teach me their language!

>>16593050
I never said anything about pandering. Just that guy who doesn't treat you like shit. It's sad but I can't convince my nice guy friend to treat women like shit. All he does is complain that he wants to treat women like they're special and have a loving relationship. And girls eat it up and feed on his niceness. "He's so sweet. I just want to cuddle him. He's so nice how can I use and abuse him." But at the end of the day they want to suck my dick, not his. Nice guys are friends.

>>16593064
your goddamn problem is you and your friend don't view women as equals. In your dumb little head you think that if you carry out a series of actions you get to "unlock" the woman. You dont do the nice things out of sincerity, only to try and gain something from the actions. Women pick up on that and thats why you cant get them. Then you come on here and pretend you get them by treating them like shit, which we all know is a lie. You'll have more success with women when you start treating them as people and not a means to an end.

>>16593057

Sharing all the same interests is absolutely no guarantee it will work out in any way at all, and is often a waste of effort.

Just focus on finding someone you genuinely get along and connect with first and foremost. That's more important than anything else.

Once you have that, a natural curiosity for one another's hobbies will follow, and hopefully enough interests will build up.

Before I met her, my girlfriend's idea of fine dining and beer was a nice burger and Stella. Now she loves gnocchi, ciopinno and peanutbutter milk stouts. The same could be said of me and my taste in music, art, literature, and half a dozen other things.

You'll always have a way more stable base if you just meet someone you have natural compatibility with and move forwards from there, rather than working backwards from interests.

Common interests as a relationship basis might work when you're young, dumb, and still forming personalities, but as you get older, those personalities become more and more set, and it becomes more and more important that you find someone who meshes well with yours and continues to help you grow.

>>16593064
>>16593067
Also. This anon took the words right out of my mouth. Well said.

> All he does is complain that he wants to treat women like they're special
is exactly what I meant by pandering btw.

>>16593054
Yup, all the women that have the qualities you want are probably taken by everyone else. That's a good rule of thumb to go by: the women you want to be around are probably taken unless they specify they are single explicitly. Even then there are a lot of orbiters that would happily ruin the relationship for their own gain, kind of like how eunuchs would manipulate an emperor to do his own bidding. It's up to you to be as cunning as possible in these situations, that's how some people spend their 20s before settling down. Do please make the most of it.

>>16593074

>>16593067
this is also me.

But anyways, I see what your saying, if i'm too hung up on crap that doesn't really matter in the end I wont focus on actually meshing with the person instead ill be focused on meshing with their hobbies and in the end it will fail.

Im not looking for anyone yet, as ive only been out of my last relationship for about a month but I am nervous and anxious about being 25 and not able to find someone.

Thanks for the advice though, it helps alot!

>>16593067
Let me be more specific: you have to be cunning enough to make someone fall for you. By default, nobody wants you. Love at first sight is horseshit, yet looks is everything.

Treating people as equals, while a good life philosophy to live by all the time, won't bring about women treating you as potential dates. The only way to gain a date is by hoping lady luck is on your side that day, because trying to woo a woman in any way, whether respectfully or not, is considered sexist and, like Manson once said, only the beautiful people win in these situations. Try to look more handsome/pretty/attractive/whatever, it's a dog-eat-dog world in terms of dating and some folks will smile at your pain like a sociopath whenever you fall.

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pic is me (im into photography thats why its posed and lit well. I dont think im ugly so I should be ok in the looks department.)
>>16593087
my standards have lowered as ive aged, Im more focused on someone I can trust, get along with, and love. than looks.

I dont think you have to be cunning and try and trick women into liking you. However i can agree sort of and say that you do have to put work into starting a relationship with someone. Women may be different than men, but they are still equals.

>>16593067
I dont do shit for women. I dont do shit to unlock them. If you think thats a lie it doesnt matter to me. Women have already confirmed my beliefs with how they respond to the shit I give them.
>your friend don't view women as equals
You dont know how he sees women as. No one is nice because they expect something. People just become jaded when they see their actions will never be rewarded. Hes hanging on tough though and its really sad. Were in college and hes just watching any and every girl he likes go off and suck chads cock. Im glad I learned my lesson before college. Weve been telling him he'll die alone at this rate but he truely believes what youre saying which is the worst part.
>>16593074
>is exactly what I meant by pandering btw.
Theres this thing called chivalry. I know its dead now. But some people come from backgrounds where they actually fall for this shit. Being chivalrous is one of the many aspects of being nice. But it doesnt do shit anymore because all women are whores.

>>16593120
You remind me of that self proclaimed autistic guy who was in here all-caps-ing a few weeks (a few months?) ago.
He ranted about how it wasn't fair that women turned him down because of his autism. That a lack of social skills and not being physically attractive isn't his fault and it's discrimination for women to reject him.
Women owed him a chance, he said.

He was a funny case. So delusional.

>>16593120
You can be chivalrous though, while not being a pushover, yes some women are terrible. You are doing the same thing women used to do to you. So you are no different. Both sexes have terrible people

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Men: A girl is otherwise attractive but has brown stains on her front teeth. How many attractiveness points is she docked?

(It's suggested through research that only veneers can solve this particular cause of the problem, and I can't afford them yet, although I am trying other options that are probably in vain.)

Is it morally wrong to keep trying to get a girl that drops not so subtle hints that she doesn't want you? I mean if it takes no effort on my side to keep hitting on her but I might be annoying her.

>>16593134
That's the whole point. You become jaded when you realize that no matter what, being nice only hurts your chances. No matter how much you believe being the nice guy is the right thing, all you see is confirmation that your are wrong and will never get a chance. You would think that people would eventually be rewarded for sticking to their beliefs that they should be nice but it's as you say. Being nice doesn't get rewarded, being a dick does though. Do then you have to decide to stick to your beliefs and be nice or go out and treat women like shit to get a chance. Poor sucker still believes he can have both.

>>16593143
Im a guy and my teeth are fucked too, I have stains all over and they did this ghetto shit where they shaved the front of my teeth to make room and use what they fill cavities with as ghetto veneers. now its all falling apart and cracks, chips, cavities and shit.( I brush and floss everyday, my teeth are genetically shit)

DO NOT GO THE GHETTO WAY
If you are going to fix them save up for veneers or caps.

Some people wont like it, but there's a fair amount that wouldn't mind. I know it can be very depressing to have bad teeth.

Learn how to smile without showing the stains.
People will possible judge you on first impressions because of them.

BUT

if you begin to like you before seeing them. they will overlook them when they do see them.\

Good luck, just know others feel your pain!

Males- How clingy is too clingy? I've never had a bf but I just know I would be super clingy.

>>16591355

No, that's fine and normal.

>>16591368

Probably not. You might get a pity date. Sorry. Would you date the ugliest girl in the world?

>>16591399

Confidence, he lifts, he's fun, he wants to do fun things together.

>>16591604

Practice. Not any other way really, although you can google some tips. But reading about something and being able to do it are two different things.

>>16591643

No one asks. Relax and stop obsessing over it.

>>16591691

I do not. I am really laid back and dislike fussy parties and makeup and spending money on stupid crap like a wedding, and I dislike social functions to begin with. Other girls do often. They like attention and have a normalfag princess personality. Weddings are an extrovert thing.

>>16591756

I get that a lot. "Thank you." Kind of brush it off and ignore it. They eventually stop if you seem totally disinterested. Don't get too flustered--they think that's cute. Be totally dandere.

>>16592078

I don't understand. You did it before and it was successful. Just do it again. Clearly women like it.

>>16592123

I love cuddling and my ex hated it. I felt because of that he was just interested in me for sex day-to-day and was pretty cold and uncaring. (Longstanding relationship, he intended to marry me, we broke up for other reasons.) What you feel isn't logical but being a no-cuddler will appear cold and may influence your partner's feelings anyway.

>>16593158

Of course you should give a guy space, but it's also important that you want to be around him

>>16593158
Clingy all the time is amazingly bad. Clingy none of the time is just as bad. Guys want someone who has their own life; we can't stand someone who lives our lives for us.

>>16592389

Nothing. Do something fun with her. Dinner, movies, etc.

>>16592574

I don't have my phone glued to my face. Sometimes people are fucking busy.

>>16592582

Only song I have by them is rich girl.

>>16593104

Would date.

>>16593136
No one said anything about being a pushover. Why are you steadily trying to move the definition of being nice. >>16593136
I don't take advantage of kindness. I just learned to treat women as they are. Whores. Maybe they enjoy being seen for what they are. When nice guys finish last not giving a shit is the only answer.

>>16593174
dude you are so retarded. You literally are either black or white. You came across some awful women, and now you blame them all. grow up you faggot.

>>16593158
As long as you don't try and pull him away from what he wants to do, I think you'll be fine.

File: SettleDownDumbass.jpg (23KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 480x360px

>>16593104
In some cases, you absolutely have to be cunning. The last girlfriend I had, 4 years ago when I was still in high school, was only in to me because I did the morally right things in a cunning manner at the right moments. She was still going out with a worthless Irish traveller piece of shit, so why not make him miserable and indirectly tell him that even she doesn't think he's worth it?

Keep in mind that there's plenty of people who wanna see you fail and wanna see you miserable and alone, so you have fight the power and prove the board completely wrong no matter what. While it's foolish to meddle in other people's relationships most of the time, if the one person does nothing but bring bad things into a relationship and if the relationship was made to make you squirm (because it was all planned by a group that wants you to be miserable) why not give them a taste of their medicine?

If it weren't for my cunning, I might never had made my ex realize what true love is. If it weren't for my brains and moments of stupid courage, I'd still be a laughing stock of the board that tried to make me as miserable as possible. I'm sorry, but I have to disagree that some cunning is absolutely needed.

>>16592123
>inb4 No shit, this is 4chan
I have Asperger's (mild case, only appears when I have little sleep), and one of the side effects are that my nerves are permanently on fire. I love my wife, but cuddling happens infrequently. After years of marriage, she knows that I do it for her, and while sometimes I like it, there are other times I just plain can't be touched.
Your guy seems like a douche, since I would risk physical pain to cuddle after sex.

>>16593156

I'm attempting hydrogen peroxide. It's only on two teeth so I do a whole mouth hp rinse and then spot treat those with hp in a cotton ball and rub it on them for two minutes. Then rinse with water. Research suggests it won't help but I can at least try.

I can get veneers in about 6 months to one year when I have a real job. It's just depressing. I feel like guys would be turned off by it. I can try improving other aspects of my appearance but I'm getting self conscious about my teeth. Not much else I can do though.

I'm definitely not doing anything ghetto like that, anon.

Thanks. God it sucks. Fuck teeth.

>>16593181
What do you mean some. It's how every woman I've even heard about acts

>>16593149
>You would think that people would eventually be rewarded

No. That's entitled whiny thinking.

I believe I already said:

>I'm nice purely because I want to be, because it makes me feel good, and because the only person I give two shits about impressing is myself.

I open doors for people. I help people carry their groceries to their car. I help people cross the street. My girlfriend still smiles and laughs when I sometimes open the passenger door for her.

But I do all of that for EVERYONE--male, female, young, old--not just girls i'm attracted to. No reward is required, because, like I said, I do it for me.

>>16593143
uhhh... depends on the guy? Different guys care about different things. Personally, probably depends on how bad, but it's of relatively minor concern (by far most important to me is someones eyes).

>>16593158
Some guys actually like clingy. I'm probably the opposite of that. Even with my closest friends, I usually only talk to them twice a week max. From the get go though, my girlfriend has always had a special pass though and I've never minded her.

I guess pretty much to me, too clingy to me is your insecurity is spilling over in to trying to take over my life (especially my work life).

>>16593190
If you still have teeth in the front of your mouth, most guys won't count it against you.

>>16593181
If hes having more success with this strategy, who are you to say to grow up.

>>16593199
Checked

And if he is, then he's also getting the quality of women that he deserves.

>>16593146

Just realize, the more you do this knowing she doesn't like it, the more you're squarely going to progressively fall in to creeper status, and then eventually outright harassment.

>>16593202
Which is better than having none.

>>16593190
because it's only visual, you are better off.
Id be more concerned with some stank ass breath than some discoloration.

>>16593193
>I have a girl friend
Literally invalidates everything you said. You can be as nice as you want when life already gave you a chance.
Honestly it's like Plato said, you can't argue that treating people like shit is not how people are supposed to act if you don't believe doing the right thing had any benefit when doing bad clearly does. Thank you for confirming that the concept of justice is just entitlement. I'll go back to treating women like whores and trying to convince my friend to join.

Anon, I'm a 25 year old female.

Me and my male friend, aged 25 as well, recently broke up with our respective partners after long time relationships (his +7 years, mine +5 years) because our partners didn't love us anymore and we had . A few months have past and we relied on each other for emotional support and another recently single friend has joined us just hitting up the mall after work/uni or hanging at someone's place.

The thing is, when he was in the middle of a crisis crying on my shoulder and I tried to confort him, he stared into my eyes and said he liked me and I sort of panicked but didn't let go. I told him he was confused because he was in so much pain. He assured me he was not and he was trying to gain my love after a while. I insisted on him just being blinded by pain and that it should pass.

Later that day he messaged me and said that I was right and that I should disregard everything he said. A few months have passed since this happened.

Since I'm dumb,his words have been spinning around in my head and I find myself thinking of him more often than I should. The other day, we were at a small gathering with old friends and he smoked a little pot. He was high and really affectionate and we cuddled while talking to our other friends.

So, I don't feel like falling for someone else again. I don't think he feels like it anyway.

TL/DR: Is it a bad idea If I ask my friend to be my fuckbuddy?

>>16593187

what do you mean by board? are you inferring some kind of conspiracy?

Yes I agree you have to make moves and work towards mutual attraction, but you can still just hit it off with someone.

>>16593218
What does he think about the idea?
And somehow, I call bullshit on the idea that you don't want a boyfriend.

Guys, how would you feel about a vegan girl if she wasn't pushy/preachy about it at all?

>>16593173
thanks for the compliment!

>>16593229
fine, she has her opinion, and doesn't push it on you and respects your opinion on the subject. thats like best case scenario.

>>16593223
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a conspiracy way back when.

If my research about the members of the board serve me right, they backed off from their more open and public operations against me sometime in early 2012. That's when Google searches of their usernames became more and more irrelevant, perhaps they needed new names and wanted to move on with their lives. Perhaps they thought a no-life, nearly-American-hikikomori student wouldn't be as fun to create drama when I eventually stopped interacting with people at university.

The only problem is that they're good at deleting their evidence and its been half a decade since they've been prominent. They will never admit what they conspired with one another to do to me to another person, unless they find you trustworthy enough to not confide this information with me. With the attempts at contact I made with board members in recent months, they seem to have this attitude that maybe if they act forgetful around me that I will drop the subject and move on with my life.

I can't let those moments go to waste and let them get away with what they tried to do. I don't know exactly what they've been planning against me, but if I can just get some closure about their actions and plans perhaps I can move on from being a solitary shut-in and actually have the close friends that I need in life. Only problem is that they aren't gonna budge emotionally and admit what they've been planning, so I have to figure out their psychological profiles while I can.

But anyway, I agree that making moves and working towards mutual attraction works the best when trying to build a relationship.

>>16593217
>>I have a girl friend
>Literally invalidates everything you said. You can be as nice as you want when life already gave you a chance

lol... wut?

>>16593218
From personally experience, a fuckbuddy started from the fact that you're both feeling vulnerable, and incredibly lonely will end confusingly messy.

In my case, it worked out and we became best friends afterwards, but there was definitely a moment where everything could have gone completely the other direction and it would have completely ended our friendship.

IMO, sort your shit out first, or things will only become more complicated.

>>16593229
No such thing as a vegan that isn't preachy.

>>16593268
You have gf, of course you can afford to be nice. Try never having a chance at girl.
> but muh entitlement
Yep, treating people like shit is clearly the answer to life. Thank you for your enlightenment.

>>16593279
I don't get it. He got his girlfriend by being nice. Wouldn't it be if he was single that it was proof that being nice didn't work?

>>16593258
I can't imagine living as a paranoid. It sounds so exhausting. I hope you're doing better, man.

>>16593302
>He got his girlfriend by being nice.
He either didn't or has at the age where women are all to used so Chad doesn't want them

>>16593311
>Something goes against what I believe
>It's probably just a lie!

>>16593316
> nice guys don't finish last
I don't believe even you think this

>>16593311

Actually, you're right. It wasn't because I'm nice.

I attracted my girlfriend the same way I've attracted all the other girls who've been interested in me: by being a diverse, interesting human being--who happens to also be nice.

>>16593318
You're confusing a nice guy with a "nice guy". But then you're a robot, so there's not a lot to be said to you.

>>16593316
Not that guy but it's very easy for attractive people to overestimate how "nice" they are and underestimate the difficulty of getting a gf.

He might have been an asshole but got away with it just by virtue of being attractive (which he is).
The token "nice" actions like opening a door is considered nice when it's done by attractive man and creepy when it's done by unattractive man.

>text girl "friend" something random, check up on her and all that
>several hours pass without a reply
>she checks her phone, last-seen time updates a few times
>text remains unread and unresponded
This happened several times now. Once or twice I could write off as being busy, but this is seriously starting to piss me off. I'm not a whiny little >pls respond-bitch, but this is just plain respectless. Worst thing is, I already know she's going to answer with something short and useless.

Should I forgive and put up with this spoiled little shit or cut the crap and cut her off? She does have Aspergers and might just have something else on her mind every time, but even being an aspie can't excuse you for giving zero shits about your friend. At least, "friend" is how she puts it.

>>16593331
>"nice guy"
Yeah because my friend who tries to make people happy definite only wants to get laid. Too bad he'll never be rewarded in life.

>>16593335
>t. bitter virgin that doesn't talk to girls

>>16593340
Are you disabled? Or are you just really, really stupid?

>>16593341
I dunno where you got that from.

I'm not even a virgin, but this is pretty much the reality at least here.

>>16593329
> diverse interesting human being
So dick like me. I don't know why it's so hard to admit it.

>>16593346
Well we know you're not a nice guy now.
Being a dick is the only way to succeed in life. Please confirm

>>16593353
It's only nice when Chad does it. Otherwise you're just a "nice guy".

>>16593347
You think holding a door open is considered creepy if you're ugly. You've been on /r9k/ far too long.

>>16593353
You're not talking to a single person. I'm not the guy with the girlfriend. You're still a retarded robot that doesn't know what a "nice guy" is.

For either gender, how did college change you? How did it change your sexuality?

For girls specifically: Did you ever change you sexuality? ie, Were you at one point certain of how and who you were attracted to, only to change that part of yourself at some later point?

>>16593361
>being nice makes you a "nice guy"
Your argument so do bad

>>16593367
>Confirming that you have no idea what the difference is between a nice guy and a "nice guy"
Protip: "nice guys" aren't nice. Spastic.

>>16593361
Not sure what you are talking about but I have seen it in real life mate.
And I quote
"what a creep"
"hihihi"
after a fat guy opens a door to a pair of girls.

This has happened several times too different words, different expressions but same situation, disgust, laughter and snappy comments are common.

>>16593372
Get off your computer some time. Your lack of social experience means you can't even conjure up a convincing lie about how women behave. Of course there are those retards that call a fat guy in the background of one if their selfies a creep but you don't get that label by holding a door.

>>16593372

Reminds me of this:

http://gizmodo.com/researchers-act-like-giant-weirdos-while-holding-a-door-1746638578

>>16593381
>Something goes against what I believe
>It's probably just a lie!

>>16593370
>"Nice guys aren't nice"
Yep, wanting people to be happy is definitely evil and twisted. Kek, this is why I treat woman like whores. Because unless you're Chad you're evil.

>>16593386
It's not your hypothesis that I called a lie, it was your made up scenario with the "hihihi" shit. You're transparent and I think you know it.

>>16593387
So you're legit mentally disabled then? There's a reason for the quotation marks, you dumb cunt. A nice guy is different from a "nice guy". A nice guy is just a guy that's nice. A "nice guy" is a manipulator.

>Chad
Go back to crying about women on /r9k/.

>>16593397
But it's not, should have I used hahaha instead to please you?
It's laughter represented in text format from the girl#2 in response to the first girls statement.

This isn't even that rare.

>>16593404
I know what it is. I'm telling you that you shouldn't get your life experience from the asshole of the internet. You can't even write a woman without it being a joke. That was my point. Seriously, avoid /r9k/ for a little while.

>>16593411
Your pretty delusional aren't you?

>>16593397
> doing nice things fit people is manipulative
Yep that creepy guy who's not Chad opened the door for me. Definitely evil.
Bitches and whores. All of you

>>16593414
Fantastic refutation. You should write a book.

>>16593417
You haven't refuted anything I have said besides called it a lie for no reason.

You haven't even made a point either besides calling me a liar.

What exactly do you expect me to "refute" there?

>>16593416
Yes, doing nice things for people can be manipulative. Of course it can. How devoid of human interaction are you that you don't even know the most basic shit? I scratch your back, you scratch mine. I'm a man, by the way. No bogeyman to blame here.

>>16593362
Guy here. Before I started college I absolutely loved women. I felt that men were universally ugly creeps and women were pretty much all model material unless they refused to take care of themselves.

Then I got a job and worked my way through college. I learned a lot about myself and my sexuality. I slowly realized how beautiful paychecks are. I took carnal pride in having a positive net worth. The high maintenance cost of women turned me off, probably for good.

Now I only work and fap to glorious 2d girls. That is my life.

>>16593421
How can I refute a retarded made up anecdote? The best I can do is point out that it's a figment of your imagination. You're like a manlet crying that women hate you because you're short, while shorter men get women around you. You can't face your own insecurities and flaws, so you blame others for them.

why are we giving the "all women are whores" autist attention?

>>16593429
I'm not blaming anyone. I just used an example from my own life to to disprove by contradiction that yes being ugly and opening a door can be considered creepy.

Fat guy goes out and opens a door for women
Women come in and call the fat guy a creep and laugh behind his back.
Or maybe they sneer, or maybe she makes a face of disgust.

This is stuff that has actually happened.

>>16593435
Whatever stops you from kicking that chair out from under you.

>>16593438
nice refutation, considered writing a book?

>>16593422
> wanting people to be happy is manipulative
This is just comedy

>>16593442
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Keep that rope nice and loose, robot, any way you can.

>>16592438
Yes, good advice, the issue is I don't want to make things awkward at work if I'm wrong. My original question was more of; do actions like his mean he's interested and maybe shy, or just shy and probably not interested?

If you (guys) think he IS interested in me, then I'll take that and change things. But I don't want to jump the gun. Does that make more sense?

>>16593435

Query: Would you have opened the door for two men?

>>16593449
You blew it. You repeated the same thing too many times and gave away your bait. You have to be prepared to argue absolutely anything to the teeth if you want to catch a fish. Good luck next time.

>>16593451
I'm not sure why you insist on calling me names and claiming i'm a liar.
Remember if you don't have any arguments call people names!

>>16593455
I open the door to all kinds of people all the time, in the incident i'm describing i'm not opening the door though, I think it was some guy from computer science department, at least I have seen him there before.

>>16593454
Could be anything. Honestly no way of knowing.

And the good thing about taking the initiative, is that often times, things are pretty much only as awkward as you let them become. Even if he says no, if you're non-nonchalant about it, he'll naturally follow your lead.

For anyone
why is it that whenever someone shows attention to me i feel this dread,like a very uncomfortable feeling and even if the person seems nice i avoid talking to him? i cant come up with a reason.usually after a few weeks of ignoring the guy i regret what i did.and then i meet some other guy and the cycle starts again.
Have any of you experienced the same?

>>16593454
Environment is too professional to determine his motives. You need to talk about something other than work to get a proper feel for the guy.

Also, don't confuse introversion for shyness. Shyness is what stops you being direct, not introversion.

>>16593469
im f btw,i forgot

>>16593461
All you've been saying is being nice and wanting people to happy is manipulative. I'm just laughing at you. Not arguing.

>>16593467
one woman does something bad, ALL WOMEN ARE BAD!!!1!1

^ Thats you

>>16593469
Sounds like you're just shy and inexperienced, so you feel out of your depth, which makes you miss opportunities. Gotta bite the bullet.

>>16593475
Reminder that I haven't said that anywhere.

You should work on your reading comprehension so you wouldn't put words in my mouth.

>>16593455
This is why chivalry is dead. It's okay though. Treating women like whores is easier

>>16593469
Social anxiety.

You just need to keep slowly, but surely pushing the borders of what's comfortable for you. Make yourself do it for your own sake and of your own volition, and force yourself to do it.

It's a long process and it's not easy, but it's a pretty straightforward one.

>>16593473
Better luck next time.

Hello girls, I have a question.
In short - I met a girl, she seemed interested in me (lots of eye contact, smiling). However when I tried to get her contact info she seemed resistant, although she gave me hints how can I find her. I asked how to find her on fb, she gave me a booklet where was the companies name, where she is working, and said 'you can find me in fb by using the info on the booklet'. I found her and added her, but she hasn't accepted for two weeks. Anyone can give advice why was she making me 'invest' my time in finding her, but at the end not accept my friend invitation?
The last time I saw her she gave me long eye contact from distance with a smile (more than 2 weeks ago) so I assumed there was some kind of interest from her side. Also she has logged in fb because status has been changed during this time.

>>16593485
I don't need luck. Just treat women like whores.

>>16593469
Sounds like you have some anxiety issues, try to progress in slower more comfortable pace for you.

I get that same thing sometimes too, attention from people even my friends (like a friend asks to play a game over skype) could be overbearing and I would rather not even respond (just pretend i'm not on keyboard) or respond a bit later.

You can work on that, just progress on your own speed.

>>16593476
>>16593481
>>16593490
thanks for the quick response.
i never thought i could have any form of social anxiety because usually im outgoing and dont have a problem meting people.its just the moment when somebody pays me attention that makes me feel awful.
thanks again.

>>16593337
Bumping due to nice guy-talk

>>16593486

Sorry man, it seems like she was just trying to sell you something or be polite. Women can be heartless bitches who won't explain their intentions.

If she didn't accept your request it's like she held a big "No, thanks" sign.

There are plenty of birds in the forest. Better luck next time.

>>16593502
Just cut contact, she's not interested

Men,
What do you feel like is the appropriate amount of dates before you have sex?

I went on 3 dates with a guy and on the 4th he suddenly expected sex. Is it my fault because I agreed to sleeping over at his place with the idea that we would just watch movies and hang out?

I only said yes to sleeping over because he currently lives 2 and a half hours away from me and I didn't want to make the drive back home. I'm moving to his city very soon (for college) which is why it's been okay that we're currently in a LDR.

>>16593486
From a girl, she's not interested. She's just trying to be nice while not shutting you down completely. Move on.

>>16593504
Ok, I'll take this into account. But I want to hear opinion from a woman also.

>>16593517
i don't have sex unless i know we're going to actually be trying to work out a LTR and i see it working out. at that point it's okay if we haven't made it official

>>16593517
>What do you feel like is the appropriate amount of dates before you have sex?
Personally, whenever it happens, but I've had my fill of one night stands and FWB's. I don't believe in expectations, we all have a right to do things at our own pace and level of comfort.

>I went on 3 dates with a guy and on the 4th he suddenly expected sex. Is it my fault because I agreed to sleeping over at his place with the idea that we would just watch movies and hang out?
Even so... While it was wrong of him to expect it... that was.... kind of naive of you.

>>16593517
He thought he was being smart by hinting at something, you thought you were being smart by not having to drive home late. Neither of you are right or wrong, you just can't read each other's minds.

>>16593517
Yes you were leading him on when you accepted to sleep over at his place in the 4th date.
This isn't even about number of dates, if you agree to sleep on someone's place after a romantic date then unless it's specially mentioned to be platonic the other person probably expects sex.


As for number of dates before sex in general, it's all about how you feel. You have the right to have sex on first date or the 3rd or the 5th or after 3 months or once you are married. Just try to communicate and not lead people on.

>>16593532
>>16593527
>>16593526
>>16593522

Thanks for your input!!

Next question,
How likely is it for a condom to break and what makes a condom break?

I'm really into this guy (who's my boyfriend) and things almost always get heated between us, but it really mostly was just about my fear of accidentally getting pregnant.

I plan on getting back on BC asap, but if we want to have sex before then should I really trust a condom? I feel like I'm always hearing stories of them breaking or failing somehow.

I know it doesnt seem like as big of a deal to a guy but the idea of EVER having children is just not something I'm interested in so it's kind of a huge deal to me. I'm more of the career/travel kind of person

>>16593532
>Yes you were leading him on
>the other person probably expects sex
That's contradictory. She was definitely leading him on, but you can only probably guarantee in the same situation it means someone wants sex.
You could also say he lead her on by asking her to spend the night with the expectation of sex, since he didn't communicate either. He assumed she knew.

Any brit guy/girl here ? I'm an italian student in Swansea, and I have difficulties getting brit girls due to how awkward it is

The usual situation in Italy is flirt a bit, some few dates here and there and then you may get to sleep with her or get to something nice

Here in the UK it's a luttle bit extreme, in the sense that when she's sober, the girl is too cold or something like that, once drunk it's like every switch is off and becomes another person

>>16593540

The chances of a condom breaking a VERY low.

The chances of a condom being improperly used are much, much higher.

That is where the VAST majority of "accidents" happen. Because of user error where someone didn't store (I.E. away from heat) or put it on properly (making sure to roll it on when you're hardest, squeezing the air bubble out of the tip as you do it, and rolling all the way down.).

And 18 years of child support is a pretty big deal to a lot of guys.

how can you tell if a girl is interested or just likes getting attention from me? This girl I work with is often very flirtatious and im pretty smitten with her as well. I often ask her if she wants to come out with me my friends after work but she usually decides to just go home instead. I actually feel really lame about caring, I shouldn't care but I do, so here I am.

>>16593541
Implicit conversations are a huge part of how people communicate. His statement made it clear he was expecting sex. Not everything has to be a contract between people.

>>16593540
Statistically it doesn't and if it does you could always get the morning after pill. Most failures of a condom are misuse anyway.
If you are going back on BC soon you can use the condom just fine and expect it to work.

>>16593541
Leading on is by definition an action that goes against the expected. Most normal people would expect sex in that situation so not having sex is considered leading someone on.
Same isn't true for the opposite as it's a norm to expect sex in that situation so asking to stay the night with the intention to have sex isn't leading someone on. It would be if the situation was different, like a friend desperately needing a place to stay and you offering a place (a platonic situation) and then expecting sex.

>>16593543
Are you just trying to fuck or actually meet a girl?

>>16593577
Well trying to actually get into a relationship, not really interested by just fucking around because most girls who are up to that aren't my type at all and during freshers weeks, i've seen what drunk girls can pull and it is disgusting

While I do drink, seems like the brits like taking it to the next level

>>16593577
>>16593580
Basically looking for tips and just what to get know the girls better, how they act etc

>>16593567
Not everything has to be a contract, but not everything can be stepped around without actual open conversations. Can't have one without the other, otherwise you play a neverending game of trying to guess what the other person is thinking without telling them what you're thinking, and wondering why things aren't working out.

Men,
My boyfriend (sexually) is pretty dominant and gets a little rough. When we first started getting more intimate he would put his hands around my throat or on the back of my neck and pull me closer to him (though not hard enough to actually choke me), hold me down, bite me, ect. My past lovers were always really vanilla and would never do anything interesting so this was a bit of a thrill for me.

Then one night we were in the back of my car on a really humid night and I was feeling claustrophobic when we started getting a little hot and heavy. He wound up putting one hand around my throat and the other on the back of my head, pulling my hair and for some reason I suddenly got really scared and flipped out. I pushed him away and told him to stop and then he started apologizing and even said he felt bad. I told him not too and that it wasn't that bad but I could still see that he was worried about me.

Now, we've messed around a few times since then and these last two times I noticed he wasn't nearly as dominant as he was before and now I kind of crave it.

How do I tell him to go back to how he was being before without sounding like I'm playing mind games or just like an idiot in general?

>>16593594
tell him the exact thing you told us. You only freaked out that one time because you felt clausterphobic, and he can be rough if he wants

>>16593594
You should just show him this post. At least, that's what would work with me. I'm also a dominant/rough lover and would be cautious if it ever became too much for a girl (even if only under some particular circumstances). A totally open and frank explanation would be encouraging.

You guys should also work out safe words. Plural. One that's like "DEFCON 1 holy shit abort everything" and one that's "Stop, I need a breather here." That way when this happens again, you use word #2 and explain to him in the moment exactly what's going on.

>>16593594
I'm a sub and that happens to me sometimes. You just gotta be 100% open and honest. We always have a conversation about what we did/didn't like, why we reacted certain ways, how we feel about it, and what we'd like done differently.

If you're close enough with someone to have sex with them, you're close enough to talk about sex with them. Get meta.

>>16593594
>>16593611
I like the stoplight safe words. Red, yellow, green.
Stop everything, slow down, or go further.

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Girls:

My (ex) girlfriend just recently broke up with me for a second time within two months. She keeps saying she didn't want to see our relationship fall apart down the line because we fight a lot & she doesn't know what she wants right now(classic).

I made my peace. Told her I wasn't interested in being just friends with her and moved on. The thing is she still texts me on a regular basis. Even if I ignore her.

A few days ago my feelings got the best of me. I replied and set up a day for that weekend, and didn't talk to her till the day of the date. She proceeded to say she wasn't comfortable coming over, but never replied to my other ideas and took about an hour per reply, wasting the whole night.

What's going on with her? Is she just trying to string me along as her plan B? I was perfectly happy moving on in my life but it seems like if I'm happy she suddenly wants me back.

>>16593685
>broke up with me for a second time within two months

Stop right there. Cut all contact and never speak to her again. That is not a healthy relationship at all. It's dead, so stop trying to stick your dick in its corpse.

To avoid the faux-pas of asking a woman out while she's at work, do you think it's appropriate to ask if you can join them for their lunch break? Not as a date, of course, how romantic would a quick stroll to McDonalds be? I mean just to introduce ourselves and whatnot.

>>16593685
seconding >>16593869

How can I give my gf some confidence about her body?
I think she looks great, but she hates her stomach and I've only seen her bare legs once in the 7 months we've been dating. I've tried telling her how attractive I find her, but she insists that she looks awful every time.

Females

How much effort can a guy put into wanting to date you before it gets creepy. Girl I work with cancelled our first date, this girl is typically really flaky, doesn't like to go out much, but I really wanna get a shot with her, but I don't wanna go overboard either.

>>16594022
Just my opinion as a guy:

Actions speak louder than words. Don't tell her, show her.

While you're doing foreplay, make a point of slowly, subtly working your way up and escalating in to paying extra special attention to the parts that she's a tad squeamish about, and then get more and more in to it as you. As you make a show of getting more and more turned on by her, she should get more and more wrapped up in the moment, til you finally take her and cement that association.

Use your own judgement as every woman is different, and only you know exactly what stimuli your girlfriend would respond and feel best about.

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My girlfriend says I'm not spontaneous enough. She says if I walk her and she's leaning over, I should pinch her butt. Or if she's lying on the couch with my by her legs, I should just start eating her out without asking.

None of my previous girlfriends would dig this. Is this a red flag?

>>16594083
Dude but

Nah, sounds like she's just a massive drive and wants you to take a more active role.

It's either something you're comfortable with or not. My GF for example loves rough sex, and absolutely loves it when i randomly throw her against the wall, rip off her clothes, and take her then and there. I tend to be lot more vanilla and romantic in my tastes, but it's just something I learned to throw in every now and then.

Girls, is it inappropriate to ask a girl about her pierced belly button if the topic of piercings comes up? Like what she decorated it with or if you can see it?

I think I offended my friend by asking. Was it wrong what I did? I can somewhat understand if I'd ask the latter, but are both just as bad?

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Should I just kiss her on new years?

>>16594126

If the moment feels right, sure. But don't randomly surprise her; especially if she has no idea the fuck you are (yes... I felt I had to put that stipulation in, because look at some of the other things on this board <.<)

>>16594134
We used to have a thing, which went kinda sour.

I started seeing her again because I thought I'd be ok with just being her friend, turns out I'm not. She's the one who invited me to this thing too.

>>16594136
>We used to have a thing, which went kinda sour

Then off hand, No.

Not unless you feel the direction of the night moving there or you can make it an innocent kiss.

Honestly, if she already turned you down, get out because by you're own admission you can't deal, and you're officially becoming an orbiter.

>>16594149
If anything, she's the one orbiting me.

I never initiate contact or anything.

This is to both males and females

There is a possibility that in a relationship both people would meet only once or twice a month due to various reasons, is such relationship worth keeping alive or is it better to cut it off at once rather than seeing it crumble week by week

Take note, the said relationship is only a few months old

>>16594152

There's the tiniest of chances this isn't the case, but girls will do that, a lot of the times with the honest intention of wanting pure platonic friendship.

If you can't handle that (which you already stated), it's your prerogative and responsibility as an adult to acknowledge that and deal with it in an appropriate manner.

She's not FORCING you to see or talk to her, you always have the final yes or no say and what YOU do, and you know your own state best. Regardless of whether or not she or you initiates, you becoming an orbiter is on you.

Either decide you'll give it one final shot, decide you have the emotional maturity to just be her friend, or move on.

>>16594184
Yeah I'll just go for it then, no use in cowardice.

Every time I've seen her lately she's delayed taking the bus home up until the very last second, I may be misinterpreting but it feels like something at least.

>>16594174

Depends entirely on the people involved.

When we first started dating, Our work schedules were such that my girlfriend and I would get to meet once or twice every two weeks. The strength of our communication otherwise made it work without much of a hitch (and once a month we'd disappear on weekend long getaways to random cities to make up for lost time).

Personality type, strength of communication, willingness, age, jobs, distance, and a plethora of other factors weigh in on this so it's impossible to say, but truth is, you should know in your gut if this will work or not, because if you're not 100% willing, it won't.

>>16591242
tell her what you feel.

This thread is bump-capped

New thread here:
>>16594206

>>16593560
If she's interested in you on a deeper level, she would want to hang out/get to know you as much as possible without seeming obsessed. If she flirts but turns down the hang out time, she's just a flirt and probably (I would hope) doesn't mean anything deeper by it. Or she's just a flirty b*tch. *shrug*

Or, she's in to you, but wants you to initiate a one-on-one kind of date.

>>16594197
I was. She wasn't, not so pleasant past experience in relationship such as I mentioned before played a part in her choice.

>>16594275

Whatever the reasons, if you're both not equally committed to it. It's time to get out.

>>16591325
Shy is definitely a good thing, but I second the unclear intentions. Even if you're shy, ask the girl out! The worst she'll say is no, but imagine the hours of weird "flirting" you'll skip if she says yes!

>>16591355
I think I'm autistic enough to buy a hoodie that looks like sad pepe.