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there's this girl we've met over the course of 4 months

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there's this girl
we've met over the course of 4 months multiple times for some days.
she said she isn't over her ex yet and that she isn't ready for a new relationship yet.
fine by me, told her i would wait.

but now she increasingly thinks about her old stuff, resulting in her telling me that we should end it because she wants to get back in contact with her ex.

yet a few months before it started with us, she told me that she had no feelings the one time she met her ex again.

now she told me that she cant se a future with us two, that she wnants to be alone.

i dont get why she gave me a christmas present, the box fully hand drawn, inside a christmas card saying how much she is looking forward to seeing me again at new years eve.

and today she ended it.

she said she has to figure out if there was anything left between her and her ex.
why play with my feelings like that?
why even show me feelings?

i'm feel let down, sad, confused.
>>
should i send her her christmas present /adv/?

really unsure about that.
it was supposed to be a cup with picture printed on it, an inside joke of sorts between us and a small heart, which has a small bell in it, as a small appreciation.
>>
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>>16588938
This is a thing called women in general they won't make sense a lot of the time
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>>16588945
i just don't get why her actions contradict what she said to me today.
she was always the one frowning upon girls that lead guys on, saying those were shitty people.
guess she herself is one of those actually.

it's not like she said goodbye after our first date, no, she continued, after the first times she got those thoughts she said she wanted to get in control of them.

and now, poof, gone.
>>
>>16588957
The way it probably went she doesn't want to lead you on maybe it just happened of course without all the information I couldn't say one is more likely
>>
>>16588982
then why continue with me?

she went through all the stages of getting over a relationship.

she met with him a month after she broke up, talked with him about why it ended, tried to get in contact with him again and saw that she had no feelings whatsoever.
now, that she sees that he is working on himself, which was the reason she broke up in the first place, she suddenly thinks he's attractive again? come the fuck on.

i mean, don't get me wrong, it's kind of her to not lead me even further on, but, if she really had the thought that it wouldn't last from the beginning, why not tell me that then?
why give me the feeling that she wants to try?
why even give me a goddamn christmas present, talk about our plans for new years eve, when she wants to end it a couple of days later?

really don't understand that at all.
>>
>>16588990
Let me say WOMEN they don't make sense one second they're like that then the next they're the complete opposite
>>
>>16588957

She broke up with her boyfriend and needs a ego boost, and guess what? you are the ego boost

Women love attention and the feel of being desired, she is just leading you, stop being her orbiter and find some girl who actually have feels for you.

sorry for the garbo englando tho.
>>
>>16588993
typical then i guess
>>16588994
you don't gift someone a card that says " i really like you" and "see you soon" just days before you end everything.
>>
>>16589003

>"you don't gift someone a card that says " i really like you" and "see you soon" just days before you end everything"

you are so deluded that hurts
>>
>>16589008
and why is that anon
>>
>>16589015

She know you are all over her and doesn't want you to go away, that's why she is tricking you

Wait for the day that she will sudenly appear with another man and completely ignores you, then you will know what i'm talking about
>>
>>16589035
so the same thing that my ex did then huh?

funny that that girl always told me how much she despised those that got back with their exes and lead other guys on.
>>
>>16588938
Anon, I can see why you are so confused, and I can see all those /adv/ betas raging over your ex.

The thing is, when she met with her ex after their breakup, she still may have been angry. It might even have been true that she had no feelings left for him - it doesn't really matter. I'm going through the same as her - tho I don't want to break up with my GF - and the thing is that there is still attraction for my ex, which came up when my GF started to get clingy and moody. Maybe your relationship wasn't as strong anymore. Think about that.
>>
The thing with the present doesn't necessarily means she has some evil masterplan like some anons seem to believe.

When people start to have doubts about a relationship they sometimes try to force it extra hard and try to convince themselves they love their partner extra much. They might actually for a short while believe in it themselves.
This results in them being overly affectionate (as in the case with the gift) but generally it goes in waves; one day they might be all lovey and shit, the next really distant.

I've had this happen to me and I've done this myself (not on purpose, mind you).

May or may not be what happened in this case.
Also, feelings rarely make sense, you can be completely certain you are over someone and then suddenly you realize you are not or the other way around. At least she was (more or less) fair with it.
>>
>>16589091
>When people start to have doubts about a relationship they sometimes try to force it extra hard and try to convince themselves they love their partner extra much. They might actually for a short while believe in it themselves.This results in them being overly affectionate (as in the case with the gift) but generally it goes in waves; one day they might be all lovey and shit, the next really distant.

This. I've been through this too, OP, and unfortunately, there's no other conclusion to draw than that you're her rebound. I know exactly what you're going through- mainly what you're feeling now is disbelief, since you're totally confused by the fact that she acted like your girlfriend but then treated you like a total stranger the next day. However, you'll have to overcome this disbelief and realize it's over. It's over.

The only thing I advise you to do now, OP, in order for you to have ANY kind of normalized relationship with her in the future, be that romantically (very very unlikely) or friendship (unlikely but possible), is to LEAVE HER ALONE. Seriously, don't contact her anymore. Tell her you were grateful for the good times together and that you understand her. Don't send her any angry or frustrated texts and just leave her be. Otherwise you're just going to aggravate the entire situation.
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>>16589056

Women are the most hypocrite creatures in this world

Don't ever believe in their words, but in their actions.
>>
>>16589175
I want to believe this tbqh

Not OP but in a situation with my ex right now actually. When we talk from time to time she still talks slightly cold, but over time she's finally started to send me nudes and stuff again... So even though her words are cold her actions have been growing much warmer and I feel like she is lying in her words.
Thread posts: 18
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