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How do I deal with people I don't like at work? It's

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How do I deal with people I don't like at work? It's like school where they bullied me in many humiliating ways but now they're adults. I just don't start shit with anyone, why do they have to start with me? I want to cry and kill myself sometimes. I quit my first job when I was 17 at burger king because people cursed at me and another employee who I asked for assistance said "what the fuck are talking about?", I started to cry and had to leave. True story, /adv/ help!
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What do they do and what do you do to provoke them?
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>>16588449
Teasing/belittling/mocking/trying to establish a pecking order where I'm at the bottom.Just existing in their presence provokes them.
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>>16588446
Male or female?
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>>16588453

You need to recognize and try to assess your character for flaws that invite criticism. Try to look at things from their point of view. What are you doing that agitates them? Assume they are rational actors like any other human.
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>>16588456
Male
>>16588457
Probably we look different, I'm younger, skinnier, earn as much as them, no beard, my voice is also high pitched and I don't act like them so they can't befriend me but they pal around with each other.
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>>16588461
You've not admitted to any character flaws that invite interpersonal issues.

Most people don't have these issues, so you're definitely doing something wrong.
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Don't it personally, even if it is personal.
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>>16588463
I'm not doing anything!

I have to google 'character flaws'

No I think I am just bullied for the reasons above. I said my voice is high pitched, I am skinny and younger than them, I don't start things with anyone but I get no respect.

>>16588467
So just keep quiet? I have been doing that whenever someone talks shit but it wears down on me. I feel like I'm being tested constantly by obnoxious people.
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>>16588483

>I'm not doing anything!

Really? Because I don't even know you and you're already annoying me.
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>>16588483
Well, you don't keep quiet, you continue to engage them until they feel guilty and stop messing with you.
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>>16588487
You are being quite defensive and edgy on purpose with me, looking for trouble not my problem.

>>16588494
I'm not the type to engage but what do I say? You don't know how they are, they use slang and imo immature for their age. I could be doing anything and get picked on for it. One time a guy had to say "leave him alone he's just reading". What would I have I do in that situation besides continue reading!??
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>>16588461
>Male
Then you need to grow some balls and act like you have an semblence of an ego.

This is just normal male banter. Men test each other because they want to know which men are the hardest. The hardest men are the ones people respect.

If I had to take a guess, you reveal openly that the insults bother you, but you never fight back. That makes you an open target. You need to pressure back, but try to pressure back in firm, preferably funny, but not desperate ways.

E.G. say your boss yells at you for not working fast enough. A firm "I feel I'm working as hard as I should" is all you need. It lets him know that you think of yourself as adequate, but you're not saying there's a FACT that he's wrong, just that you have a different opinion. It lets him know that you have self-respect but aren't being insubordinate.

As for your coworkers, if you can't intimidate, and insults effect your emotional state, then in all seriousness, start lifting weights, sleeping better, and eating better. Follow the /fit/ sticky. In my experience, when I get upset about someone insulting me, it's because I've made myself frail through poor life decisions, stress and my testosterone is low. When I strategically pump up my test levels, I can walk into work and take quite a beating and not give a fuck. People will notice your not-giving-a-fuck attitude and respect you more, as well.
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>>16588506
>not my problem

Yeah, nothing is your problem.

You won't be liked until you grow up.
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>>16588487
If you can't see you're the problem and exactly the same as the people he's talking about then you're a retard.

Want to argue and cause problems for no reason, I bet you love to complain too you huge fag, off yourself.
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Don't take it personal at all. 'Water off a duck's back' if you will. You're kinda reminding me of this 'doormat', skittish guy I used to work with that was overly concerned about his standing. Never piped up on anything, nervous, sweaty and paranoid. Every time a joke was cracked or somebody helped him understand a certain process he'd perceive it as some slight against him or something personal. Most people were only barking at him to make him better at his job, but he mistook the 'helpers' for the rest of the assholes on the job.

Calm down, take a breath and stop being so concerned. Trust me, I'm a guy that got LOTS of shit and gave shit to people at work daily. Worked a call center once where I was told to kill myself daily. Fuck, I worked in a shop that most of my talk to others were nothing but insults along with orders. "I need [x] right now you lazy bastard. It has been ten minutes." "Yeah yeah, your mom needs me later tonight. Sixty minutes. For you? Two minutes you cocksucker".

Thick. Skin. Get it and embrace it. You'll achieve motherfucking workplace nirvana knowing that none of this shit matters.
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>>16588506
>What would I have I do in that situation besides continue reading!??
Look up and make eye contact with the people talking shit.

Looking away signals you're trying to forget them. Looking at their eyes signals that you're remembering the face of the people who insulted you. It's the most primitive intimidation tactic.
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>>16588514
There is no onus on normal people to like or tolerate intolerable people. If they can't behave properly, there is no reason they should be treated as if they do. Their fix is to identify and learn how to behave properly. The normal people fix is precisely nothing because everything is going fine.
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>>16588517
Retard, have you even read OP's posts? He says he doesn't instigate or act weird.

You sound like a retarded bully.

And could you please define "normal" people, bet you can't homo, also define "properly" Thanks bro!
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>>16588519
>He says he doesn't instigate or act weird.

Oh, then it must be true!

The bully/victim narrative is ridiculous and rarely reflective of reality. The victim is the problem and likely isolated because people find him intolerable. Again, the fix is to become tolerable, not insist that your intolerability be instead obstinately viewed as tolerable, because it will never be.
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>>16588515
>Don't take it personal at all. 'Water off a duck's back' if you will.
That depends. If someone is really laying into you, you do need to stand your ground. But I agree, for most banter you can probably ignore it.

In fact, the last time my manager said anything bad about me was at a staff meeting a month back. I had missed the one previous, and in front of the entire staff she said, "nice of you to show up, Anonymous".

Now, I could have held my head low and been embarrassed. But honestly I didn't feel embarrassed. Actually I made eye contact, then smiled and looked around the room. I let her scold me, accepted the scolding without any insult to my ego.

That's how you take punishment well.
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>>16588511
You're absolutely right, but I'm not used to that. I know what you mean, that behavior is so primitive and doesn't belong outside of school. These men are in their 20-30's.
>grow some balls
Funnily enough this is what I was told for not going sleeveless in winter.
Thanks so much for the examples, are there any ways I can practice? Self help books? I know that sounds weird but I could use more help than just 1 post on 4chan.

I cannot start lifting weights, I like being skinny and running instead of lifting. But my T levels are either average or low.

>>16588512
Ok? I don't feel you're helping or trying to, just being rude at this point...
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>>16588519
>Retard, have you even read OP's posts? He says he doesn't instigate or act weird.
>You sound like a retarded bully.
This may be true, but in the real world, bullies are everywhere and you have to know how to deal with them.

You'll never stop being bullied. It's an intrinsically human thing.

>>16588522
>The bully/victim narrative is ridiculous and rarely reflective of reality. The victim is the problem and likely isolated because people find him intolerable.

This. It's all a microcosm representation of Nietzsche's master/slave morality. You have to revalue yourself and accept some master morality to deal with bullies.
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>>16588522
>The victim is the problem and likely isolated because people find him intolerable

Nice logic lmao, you still haven't defined "normal" or "properly"

I wonder what it must be like to be as stupid as you, look buddy, I'm bullying you, you're a retard. What's it like knowing you're a retard, retard?

Don't reply. loser, you deserve to be attacked by me, don't complain or you're a retarded victim.

Don't reply to my post, retard.
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>>16588527

You're getting a bit spastic, friend. Did I strike a raw nerve? Yes, the fact that you were bullied in school was your problem. No, the problem wasn't external. They weren't jealous. They were perfectly functioning and likely lead, today, very happy lives. Social ostracization of defunct peoples is completely normal in human socialization. The only recourse is to increase your social capital by behaving properly and tolerably.
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>>16588530
You seem to be projecting lmao

keep replying little victim :)

le scientism
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>>16588533

>weird, pseudo-pop psychology
>awkward attempt at reverse psychology
>use of emoticons
>terse attempt to introduce memes into your parlance

4chan/cringe/
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>>16588530
>>16588536
Regardless of the guy pretending to be me, you still haven't defined "normal" or "properly" or have even quantified it so your entire argument is moot.
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>>16588524
>You're absolutely right, but I'm not used to that. I know what you mean, that behavior is so primitive and doesn't belong outside of school. These men are in their 20-30's.
Trust me. It never, ever, ever will end. You will be bullied forevermore, to eternity and back. Some places will be better and some will be worse, but bullying is always an aspect in social situations.

>Funnily enough this is what I was told for not going sleeveless in winter.
People try to emasculate me often. You can make anything, ANYTHING, masculine by not caring. Even recently a girl noticed I have Taylor Swift - 1989 on my iPhone and told the group. I was like, yeah, I love Taylor Swift's album, it's good. Nobody made fun of me, and if they had it wouldn't have mattered.

It's all about how centered you are in your own opinions. I like Taylor Swift so I listen to her. Doesn't matter what they think of it.

>Thanks so much for the examples, are there any ways I can practice? Self help books? I know that sounds weird but I could use more help than just 1 post on 4chan.
Nietzsche's On the Genealogy of Morals will explain everything you need to know about the psychology of being weak versus being strong. Other than that, read literature on weightlifting and diet. Read about how to maximize testosterone and minimize cortisol. Learning about your body is one of the best ways to master your mind.

>I cannot start lifting weights, I like being skinny and running instead of lifting.
Oh-hmm. It's hard for me to comment if you don't want to lift. Doing squats, deadlifts, pullups and bench press are almost necessary for me to feel like a normal human being at this point.

Maybe reconsider the skinny aesthetic?
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>>16588537

It's an asinine, litigious semantic contention designed to give you plausible deniability for your inability to properly argue the point. I don't need to define anything. Normative behavior is implicit. Now, I could demand you properly and carefully define every word you've used thus far, but that wouldn't suit the parameters of this conversation and would be entirely inappropriate.

Really, the attempt doesn't come off as genuine. A more appropriate response in the same vein would have been "I'm not convinced by what you feel is normative behavior. Here's my alternate plausible theory of what normative behavior should constitute", or, "It's not entirely clear what you mean to imply when you cite normative behavior. Can you elaborate?".

Of course, it's pretty clear to anyone who has ever socialized what is meant by normative human behavior, so it's a point only to be made out of courtesy.
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>>16588540

Also, even if you could define "normal" or "properly" in these interactions, you'd have to then explain why OP's subjective distaste to this is "unjustifiable" which you wouldn't be able to do.

It wouldn't matter if this action was "normal", it doesn't justify or discredit it, it is simply a descriptive term.

You're a pseudo-intellectual.

Also, your point about having to define each word is an exaggeration designed to make my argument look silly when in reality it isn't.

>Of course, it's pretty clear to anyone who has ever socialized what is meant by normative human behavior

You assume the person you converse with has had the same experience and understanding of words as you do? Nonsense.

If I grow up in a tribe, to me, the cannibalism of that tribe would be considered "normative"

You just discredited your own argument.
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>>16588539

The Taylor Swift example is something that would be considered in the full context of your character. If you exude social value, these little emasculation checkpoints actually might paradoxically increase your social value, implicitly noting that you are so powerful and secure in that power that you don't feel the need to obfuscate superficial emasculation.
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>>16588545
Yeah, and try to swing all weight around into compliments. She pointed it out to see how I would react. But really, she made me the center of the groups attention and gave me the opportunity to share something I love with the group. My face brightened up.

Even things like being weak, if it's pointed out to the group, be pleased the group wants to see. Being afraid of being judged by others will encourage more mocking than being open and honest.

Unless, of course, if the item is serious. Being exposed as a transsexual might have more serious consequences if the circumstances are so. But it works well for most of interaction.

So I would say, this advice works best if you're a straight male.
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>>16588523
>accepted the scolding without any insult to my ego

Water off a duck's back.

>"Nice of me to keep people awake? Now let's go. Work to do."

I actually had the same scolding at my current job and that was my response, but I'm admittedly a prick, though. Lovable according to strange parties, but a prick.

I agree that if someone is laying into you on a personal level you should cut them off or stand up. There's no need for that kind of bullshit. The most insulting thing to a bully is to show them that their insults are beneath you.

Dumb workplace shit-flinging? Just have a backbone and know where you stand exactly. It's definitely learned through experience and gaining thick sin.
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>>16588548
I can't reconsider the skinny aesthetic, but you're basically saying be confident and that's legit advice. Anything else besides Nietzsche?

Thanks for all the advice guys, goodbye.
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>>16588551
>It's definitely learned through experience and gaining thick sin.
This is true too, definitely. It takes a while to build up your responses to where they are intuitive.

>Water off a duck's back.

You're using this metaphor perfectly. Personally I don't like it that much, because the duck avoids the water, it diverts the water. In some situations, letting yourself take the brunt of the blow, like defense in a football game, and going through it cleanly is better than avoidance, which the water off a duck's back metaphor seems to imply.

>>16588553
>you're basically saying be confident and that's legit advice
That is what I am saying, the only hitch is that, in my view, self-confidence is at least in part a physiological trait, not a psychological one. In other words, it's not always possible to think your way into self-confidence.

>Anything else besides Nietzsche?
Read about different leaders through history and how they operated. Machiavelli's writings are good (but don't read them like a manual), read about Julius Caesar and Alexander, etc. Also, regardless of what you think of his political ideas, Donald Trump is a good case study for how you can take shit like a champ.

Good luck anon.
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What would Jesus do?
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>>16588446
It sounds like there is nothing personal here, just the kind of new-kid hazing everyone goes through.

Face it, the newest employee in any job IS at the bottom of the pecking order, and those who were most recently at the bottom themselves will be the first to let you know your status, whoever you are. But that has little to do with you personally and wears away very quickly.

Realize also that at your level most people hate their jobs, so they're in a lousy mood much of the time. They'll lash out at anyone or anything that catches them at a bad moment.

The point is that you are taking personally some things that really aren't meant as personal attacks on you, and most of which will disappear once you settle in as one of the gang.
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