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Hi /adv/ Over the summer I got very drunk and had a one night

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Hi /adv/

Over the summer I got very drunk and had a one night stand with a girl who gave me unprotected oral sex, but protected intercourse. The day after I felt a lot of regret, and also started worrying I might have got an STD (it was only when I looked it up that day that I realised oral sex was a risk). Maybe 2 days or so after, I went to pee in the morning and when I pulled my foreskin back I noticed a very small whitish blob near the opening of my urethra. I wrote this off as a small piece of tissue paper that had been mixed with urine and trapped there from where I had dabbed it dry after urinating (I believe this has also happened more recently). I resolved to go and get an STD test after a couple of weeks anyway (to allow for the incubation period of most STDs).

About 7 weeks after the one night stand, I started worrying again and I went for an STD test, which came out negative. I also sent a message to the girl with whom I had a one night stand and told her I was concerned. She told me that she would also get tested, and then the following week said that everything came back negative, including throat swabs.

In the meantime, however, I also began seeing another girl and on one occasion we had unprotected intercourse.
My fear now is 'what if in between the time I had the one night stand and the time I got tested, the STD went away by itself, but I still infected the girl I was seeing?'. Specifically, I am worried about Gonorreah.

At this point I can't tell if I'm thinking straight about this. I have OCD and in this last few months, I have also had episodes of worrying intensely about the idea I might have skin cancer or be ageing prematurely from excessive sun exposure. I have also worried about this STD thing before, but rather than this specific line of thought, it was 'what if I caught an as yet undiscovered STD that wouldn't show up in the tests'.

Any advice welcome. I feel like my life is ruined here.
I wiuldn't worry about it too much, OP. Chances are slim you got anything but a blow job and some sex. Relax a little.

I wish I could, but the past couple of days have felt like one long, drawn out panic attack
Holy shit your paranoid as fuck mate! I always fuck without a condom, and im std free sonny
Seriously tho, if it worries you that much, just be more careful. And make sure your okay now. But if you want too counting unnecessary risk, than learn to deal with the unnecessary consequences
I don't understand why you would continue having unprotected sex after that experience. Save yourself the stress and keep a condom with you.
You honestly have a massive problem, just even the way you type, I mean yeah you should always have safe sex, but basically you're losing your shit over a blowjob that no one uses condoms for unless you are paying a escort.

I think you need to learn CBT, specifically aimed at OCD and mindfulness.

Like most people, you probably won't do this or will probably use tablets which generally do fuck all.
why don't you go get tested for your mental disorder.

It wasn't until later that the anxiety developed


Tablets have helped me a lot in the past actually but alright, I think maybe I should just see my doctor at this point
Generally for anxiety, yeah sure dropping benzos all day will help you out. Try doing that in the long run and get back to me with withdrawal symtoms.

Yeah sure dropping SSRI's will make you not give a fuck, but enjoy being a mindless zombie that can't even get a fucking boner.

The only thing that truely helps long term is actually applying cbt, applying mindfulness/meditation.

Honestly you have a common problem, if you pick the tablet route you are literally just band aiding the underlying problem. Take it as is. You have been warned.

I've had some CBT, and it helped, but it doesn't make as much difference as the pills. You're right about the band aid thing though because I was pretty much normal while the pills were working. Are you speaking from experience?
I work for a University, and closely give statistics to pyschologists/psychiatrists for their research work, we share the same staff room etc.

Obviously I see the stastics on all sorts of shit I come across as well as preparing research courses for the troubled students/clients to take. I also have lunch with these people, the same people who do this research work, lecture AND see students/clients.

Honestly a lot people look at CBT at face value and because it is blatantly obvious or 'common sense' stuff, they don't bother filling out the printable sheets or writing down the little things that annoy them. They are the repeat offenders that fail uni or we keep having to facilitate more courses for them.

Honestly unless you have massive delusions, hallucinations, mania (like actual mania not special snowflake shit that we all come across, this includes bipolar) or have one of the severe symtpoms of ADHD (can't do simple tasks/study etc) then you literally need to apply CBT and learn mediation/mindfulness, stats show that ssri's and shit do not help GAD/anxiety/depression long term compared to what I explain.

One of the girls in the office taught me about it as well when I had a very bad break up, I mediate every day and work on personal development etc.

I recommend actually seeing a psychologist. Obviously the ones I work with are high fucking tier, striving to continue in excellence etc, they borderline as personal development coaches in a way.

You psych should touch on topics such as
1. cbt
2) learning to not care about things out of your control/what others say about you etc
3) more being 'in the moment', being present etc (obviously still have future goals and such to achieve), this is mindfulness/meditation, it helps mixed with cbt to not worry about things past or future. VERY fucking helpful
4) relationship dynamics that isn't autistic like the PUA shit
5) how to express feelings and being congruent with them
The list goes on, but you get an idea.

I'm not going to give you links and such, since this will help you go out there and google, and search yourself.

One thing I will say is you have to participate in your own rescue, I hear of people like you bomb the fuck out and some that actually end up writing in letters saying that their life is fucking amazing.

Guess which ones still practise mindfulness, actually learned CBT, and actually followed through with a top tier psych?
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Antianxiety medication was made only to put you into a more receptive state to engage in effective therapies to treat the problem. My doctor and I go to the same shrink for anxiety- one of those funny coincidences, I saw him in the waiting room.
As was explained to me, medication for anxiety is supportive therapy, like having clean sheets and a soft bed and a quiet room for a person with a physical illness.
No, the pills will work better in the short and the beginning of the medium term as well. Eventually the chemical results will not be as effective in altering mood and behavior, and the placebo effect will wear off too, and you will be back where you started with the potential for more problems as the band-aid effect wears off. It's possible to get worse and not know it because of the fog you're living through in day-to-day living courtesy of your medication.

I was very lucky in that I have a dangerous job that forbids me from taking mind-altering substances. I'm a ship's captain, and when my anxiety got bad enough and I sought out help, knowing that there was no medication for me forced me to deal with the root causes of my anxiety, which I did through CBT.

If CBT isn't working well for you, I'd suggest you try a different mental health specialist to help you refine your program. It's not a 100% effective therapy for everyone, but you WILL find that outside guidance can make a big difference as you seek out effective exercises within CBT.
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