[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Extra juicy! | Home]

>Might be having a boys night out tomorrow night. >Might

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 27
Thread images: 1

>Might be having a boys night out tomorrow night.
>Might go to a party.
>Tell girlfriend
>She replies with "If anything happens tonight, its fine. Of you meet someone else that is"
>"Huh? What do you mean hun. I only have eyes for you"
>"Yeah, right now, but that's because you don't meet new people very often. You don't know what else is out there."
>"Hun where's all this coming from?"
>"It's been on my mind for a few weeks now. I just didn't know how to bring it up."

What do I say to this?
>>
Perma-virgin here, can't really help but that is one scary situation.
>>
Your gf wants to fuck someone else (probably not someone specific ) and it's ok for her to do it if you do.
She sounds like a manipulative bitch.
You won't break up for a while but she'll get 'bored' eventually and someone will pull the pin.

She isn't ready for a serious gig so gtfo while you can.
>>
>>16580924
She's either so desperately scared of leaving you that she's already "come to terms" with it and has grieved.

Or she's angry and testing you, convinced you're going to cheat.

Or she's interested in starting a polyamorous relationship.

Or she wants to leave you, but hopes you'll find someone new who would make you happy (I've done this before)
>>
>>16580924
If someone said that to me, I would immediately jump to the conclusion that they are saying that because they've already met someone and did something and it's their way of feeling guilty about it.

What should you say about it? Well, your girlfriend is pretty much saying she wants to fuck other men. You break up with her. That simple. Text her saying to come and get her stuff, you're no longer interested in being in a relationship with her. State the above reason as to why.
>>
>>16580941
No, we've kinda talked about this before. She has major self-confidense issues and it leads her to be unsure about my feelings for her often.
>>
>>16580924
Idk, Op. If I were you I'd be suspicious about why she'd be ok with that. Maybe she cheated or wants to?
>>
>>16580941
I agree with this anon here. He could be on the right path.

I do have a slightly different experience, though, that's related. My girlfriend one time out of the blue said that maybe we should think about having an open relationship, and after a bunch of digging and making her tell me why she said that it was just because she was mad about something else that I was doing and it was one of those "cry for help" sort of moments. Girls are retarded OP, either way, red flag, dump her and see someone else without even having to worry about her.
>>
>>16580945
I'm genuinely convinced she doesn't want to leave me, ever. She seems so madly in love with me to the point i definately trust her feelings for me to be legit.

The other 3 are very much possible
>>
>>16580945

Exactly this. I could imagine being so desperately in love and feeling less than worthy of my BF, especially when I was younger, that I'd say something like this; convincing myself I'd come to terms with it, or to get him to validate that he wasn't interested in anyone else.

It could also be because she's interested in meeting other people herself, or shit self esteem. You've just got to ask her.

>>16580962

Reading this, she just sounds like a young girl who's very much in love with you and convinced she's not enough for you, convinced you'll find something better. Poor girl, I've been there (and it was not because I could imagine myself with anyone else).
>>
This board definately isn't the best place to get girl advice. Everyone here assumes women are all lying manipulative whores.

You said she has self-confidense issues? It very much checks out that she would feel this way then.

My best advice, go out tomorrow with your friends, have fun but don't do anything stupid (you know what I mean) and when you come back to her she may be a little more sure of your feelings for her.

Again, I'm convinced she means what she says, I doubt she's cheating on you
>>
>>16580962
I had a girlfriend similar once. She said all that nice stuff and i believed her, i think it was genuine to this day but she had never been with anyone else.
In the end her passive aggressive statements like what your girlfriend says and my questions about them ended in her admitting she wanted to see 'what was out there'.

Either that or she's mad because you're having fun without her. To me they're all red flags. There's people out there who can just be straight with you and she's apparently not one.
>>
>>16580964
We kinda have a shaky past too, things of happened between us that definately make those fears seem even more likely to her (I didn't cheat, if that's what your wondering).

She's definately been a handful. Her past is an all around mess and its definately lead to psychological issues as well as trust issues. We used to have fight after fight about stuff she would constantly blow completely out of proportion. Things are much better now, but still definately not perfect.

She truely is an amazing girl though, I don't think I've ever met someone with a bigger heart. Just years and years of abuse and negativity from family and friends have just lead to her having a very small bullshit tolerance.
>>
>>16580972
Except what if she truely means she's worried about OP running off with someone else? Wouldn't that very much be her being straight up with him?
>>
>>16580948
if she doesn't respect herself because of self-confidence then okay. but if she doesnt trust you because of it, that isn't. they aren't related. you have to get her to understand that because its not fair for her to act like they are
>>
>>16580989
I guess that's true. If she has these issues it would be out of character for her to simply say 100% I'm worried you're going to leave me for someone else.

Maybe OP should ask her that as she said she didnt know how to bring it up, maybe he should? Clearly her way of bringing it up isn't helping anyone.
>>
>>16581031
>low self-confidense causes her to not think much of herself.
>She thinks very highly of me.
>because she doesn't think much of herself she doesn't think she's good enough for me
>She's constantly afraid one day I'm going to wake up, realize she's "not that great" and leave.

There's literally nothing she can do about it
>>
>>16580924
ask her if she's a cuckqueen.
>>
>>16581042
i suppose just work on getting her to trust your image of her as something you're set on believing to be true and something that wont change regardless of the reality of any situation. and you want her to respect that even if the case was she's not good enough for you and you're stupidbleh
>>
>>16580945

Yeah this I used to have a girlfriend who i really wanted to break up with but she was super attatched to me so I used to hope she'd cheat on me when she went to parties without me so I could have an excuse to dump her.
>>
>>16581042
Relationships are basically built on trust. If she can't trust you where's the foundations.
Do you want to hold her hand every second of every day so she never gets 'afraid' about what you're up to?

People do stupid irrational shit when they're afraid. Why would you want to date someone who's going to be permanently afraid?
>>
>>16581069
i had a girllfriend just like op, was engaged and everything. half because of this shit she gave up when we had to move apart and LDR it and struggled. it's truly a gamble if things will work out even if you try your hardest because with that lack of trust comes immaturity which leads to moving on (and of course regretting it and feeling terrible). my life's fucking so much more complicated and im so depressed now. i dont wanna see someone else go through this. were just friends now and fuck am i miserable, not that it would be any worse by not being friends so whatever with that
>>
>>16581079
So what do you suggest I do?
>>
>>16581091
i don't know your situation so it's tough but i can tell you what i SHOULD have done. i should have separated self esteem and immaturity. she had a lot of self esteem issues, but if i believed actions spoke louder than words, she took me for granted in some ways. i'd do stuff like go to the store and she wouldn't feel like it but ask her to pick up the room as i did. she most of the time wouldn't. she likes to clean and would clean more than me but when i tried to have us do something equal when we both didnt feel like doing it she wouldn't. that should have been my sign she wasn't mature enough for a relationship. but no i trusted her words more than her actions, and only until she told me the person she moved in with and ended up starting a relationship with behind my back (cause *things were too hard for us being apart) doesn't do fuck around that house did she realize she had taken me for granted all this time and how big of a mistake she had made. long story short, look for her actions to see if she's immature, which is entirely separate from trust issues. if she's immature, then she's not ready for a relationship. if she's mature and just trust issues, thats entirely different
>>
are you having party or is it boys night out?
>>
My girlfriend had the same insecurities and issues when I went out. I'd call her at some point during the night whenever I went out and that helped her also a few texts don't hurt.
>>
>>16580924
Just say "If you're actually that fucking insecure about me hanging out without you, fuck you. We're done"
Thread posts: 27
Thread images: 1


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.