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Any ways to make my suicide look accidental? I don't want

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Any ways to make my suicide look accidental? I don't want to hurt those who love me by making them think they didn't do enough for me, so making my death look accidental would be for the best.
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Bump, interested
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Yes, spend the next decade of your life smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day, eating a diet consisting of nothing but red meat, and going for 1 hour sessions at tanning booths on a daily basis. When you inevitably get cancer, stop taking the medication without telling anyone. It will be a slow and painful death, but it will definitely look accidental. Plus you'll probably be forever remembered as a hero by everyone who knew you.

Or you could just stop being a faggot and try doing something useful with your life.
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options:

1) leave a banana skin at the top of the stairs then jump down headfirst
2) stab yourself with a knife then leave the knife next to a note that says "KILLED BY ?" so then they look for the killer
3) dig a deep ass hole and just keep digging till you die see how deep you can get
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>>16580429
It's nearly impossible. There will likely be an autopsy and the cause will be found. You're stuck on Earth with the rest of us.
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>>16580472
what if you burn your fingertips off
then there will be no fingerprints on the body
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>>16580472
this is retarded. autopsies aren't performed except if there is suspect of fowl play.
do you think the do an autopsy on 90 year old cancer patients? or 22 year old car crash victims?
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Save up all the money you have and disappear in another country.

I've always wanted to do that, but I have too many life links and I'm a coward. Do it.

And tell me how it goes. I'd love to live like that.
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>>16580502
Nurse here, it depends on the family, the hospice (if involved) and the coroner office.
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>>16580429
Trip and fall face first into a shotgun at precisely the time it goes off
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>>16580429
You being dead will hurt them in any case, there is no way to soften the blow.
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>>16580502
Genius idea. Have chickens eat your body.
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Set up a ladder and some bags of leaves next to your house. Put a half filled bag of leaves on your roof. Jump off roof backwards.

My great uncle died this way, but it wasn't suicide...or was it
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>>16580461
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>>16580429

1. Purchase gun
2. Tie gun to balloon

3. Shot self in face
4. Gun flaots away, never to be found

The perfect crime
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>>16580552
Pigs are better for that
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>>16580847

Hence the saying: As greedy as pigs!
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>>16580429
>Any ways to make my suicide look accidental?
Only by making it indirect. Rather than actively killing yourself, take up firefighting or deep-sea diving, or join the military on the front lines. You will likely die soon eniugh, and depending on exactly what happens you might even be hailed as a hero.

But if you actively kill yourself, you WILL be found out. Insurance companies have simply gotten too good at this.
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You could crash your car going at an unreasonable high speed in a location where emergency medical aid is unlikely to reach you to save you before you die

Get drunk enough to give yourself alcohol poisoning and pass out in an alley - or if you live in a cold place get drunk and pass out outdoors where you'll freeze to death
Thread posts: 19
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