>walk in on friend having sex, doggy style, with some dude

I think she's barking up the wrong tree

>>16579017
"Friend of yours?"

Give us a background on your friend.

>>16579282
not sure what you really mean... but here goes...

she's a shitty friend which is why i'm psyched for this opportunity. she'd try to shame me for dating 20 guys, but i knew she kind of did that out of jealousy since she struggled to get even 1 guy to like her. back when she was dating her bf, she would put down my boyfriend in order to boast about her own... really annoying.

well since her bf dumped her, she's been pretty thirsty. this guy she fucked last night was someone she met at our school's pub night, which is kind of like a bar/club they host every thursday night.

they had maybe 2 dates, but she called it off hoping he'd chase her. (he obviously didn't, and i'm pretty sure he didn't want a relationship) and since then she's been chasing for him back... constantly texting him, asking him to come out and chill, etc. must've been over a month.

he finally came over to hang out, but he ended up bringing 2 other girls with him without asking her first. i really thought she was gonna get cucked at that point. the 2 girls left though, and they ended up fucking.

anything specific you guys want to know?

>>16579798
How the fuck can you call that person a friend? Do you even know what that word means?

>>16579798
This guys sounds fucking hilarious. Would hang out with/10

>>16579017
Ask her if she lies dogs or something

>>16579798
...20 guys?
How old are you?
That hole HAS to have some STDs in there.

>>16579798
You sound like you hate her. Why do you call her your friend? Surely you are better off without having a person in your life whom you hate so much?

>>16579836
>not knowing statistics
Anon pls

>>16579844
average number, by the time you're 40, is about 2 or 3.
20 is the STD, or NY level material.

>>16579811
she was ok before she started dating actually.

>>16579824
meh, i mean a lot of guys kind of do shit like this to her because they know she'll always chase them back.

>>16579831
noted!

>>16579836
i only slept with my boyfriends, so i'm up to number 4. i'm 23 years old, 24 in january.

>>16579842
because my best friend is roommates with her, and she either invites herself to our outings or my best friend will bring her with us. i don't hate her, i just find her annoying.

>>16579960
thought you said you slept with 20?
You now down to 4?

You are 23 dude, ask her if he was any good. your an adult. act like it.

Just from the way you write OP you sound like a terrible person. Count yourself lucky you're a girl, because as a guy you'd get the shit kicked out of you for being such a bitchy faggot.

>>16580094
i went on dates with 20 guys. i only sleep with guys i see long term material in.

>>16580097
>i hate fun

>>16580109
>i wanna crack a joke or a pun about it, but i'm drawing blanks.
how is this bad? it would likely annoy and embarrass her but it's not destroying anybody.

>>16580094

she said dated 20, learn to read

>>16580157
>i only sleep with guys i see long term material in.

The world needs more girls like you.

>>16579836
I've only ever had sex with 2 men, but I've dated 8 men.

One of the men I had sex with I'm married to now. The other I dated for over 2 years.

Are you so fucking slutty/dickish that you fuck every person you go out with? Talk about low standards.

File: 1236686008009.jpg (31KB, 576x432px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 576x432px

are there any more lines or jokes i can say to her when i see her next time?
because i'm probably going to blow it and say pic related if nothing here inspires me.

you got everything you need to go out?
keys? purse? kneepads?

>>16580221
liking this one a lot, i'll probably interchange kneepads with condoms lol!

>>16580238
that's all i got. would probably keep kneepads in there though, add condoms in as well though if you like.

seems like such a rich area for jokes but is quite difficult.

That was doggone crazy. Maybe some other dog puns, I can't think of sex related ones though.
If you want to go the dog route: I hope you were careful. Did you use protection? Was he checked for fleas?
then add
>>16579023
edited a little
>I think you're barking up the wrong tree with this guy

>>16580247
thanks again, that sounds solid!
and i know!! i've been thinking all night on what i could say but it's tougher than i thought

>>16580265
i really want to use a dog and sex-related kind of joke!
i like the flea idea, i'll consider that lol!

>>16580330
Fleas, rabies shot, something like that.

>>16579857

Wait wut? The average person at age 40 has slept with 2 or 3 people in the course of their life?

Have some fries with your autism. Also give me some fucking sauce on that stat pleb.

>Read this thread
>23
>Male
>Virgin
>Can't even fathom the idea of what sex is like in real life let alone walking in on someone doing it
>Haven't even seen a girl's breast before
Kill me.

>>16580397
>not knowing how to look up info.
being a slut isn't normal.

>>16580466
Where can I subscribe to your blog, friendo?

>>16580466
>Male
What? So OP's gay then?

>>16580740
You are so fucking stupid, I really wish there was an IQ test requirement for posting on this website.

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73KB, 600x400px

>>16580330
>Doggie style, huh? Looked ruff.
Keep it simple OP

>>16579017
"Let's put last night behind you and have breakfast"

"Long time since I've seen your face around here"

"So, you guys ruffing it again, ruff ruff?"

"Well doggone, when I said you'd better put that guy behind you I didn't mean it like that... ya dumb slut"

>>16581581
best advice

>>16579798
fucking fuck this normalfag shit makes me sick

>>16580793
Oh, I didn't realize you meant you. thought you were summarizing the post and then saying kill me. People do that a lot. Anger Management tests would be good before people could post too.

>>16581653
>calling mentally ill "normal".
ok then.

>>16579017
roast her mercilessly for being a slutty whore and fucking not in her bedroom when she has roomates

heh, nothin personnal

Bring her dog treats, she wants to act like a dog

>>16580168
Protip: she's lying