I feel like I'm a boring person. I'm not shy, but when

>>16578052
I like to just ask open ended questions and let them pick up the conversation. Most people will open up if you let them, and IIRC a few studies have shown that people like you better if you just listen to them talk about themselves.

Ask questions and just listen to the people talking. Whenever a person mentions a topic let's call it "xy" where you can relate to, you just wait until this person is finished taking. Now it's your move to add your information on that topic by saying something like "btw you've mentioned "xy", last time this happend to me...". Then the person may ask you questions about your input to the conversation. That's a simple trick to have a nice talk. If you can't relate to anything, well... go out and experience life!
Hope this helps you out a bit. Remember you'll get better by practising!

Monitoring

>>16578097
Just a lurker here but where are these studies? I could honestly listen to people talk all day but I feel like most people don't like talking about the regular social things.

>>16578198
Its more about engaged listening then just letting the other person go on and on.

For example:
>You - "Hey how was your weekend?"
>Them - "Great, jerked off in a movie theater on Saturday"
>You - "Oh cool, do you jerk off in theaters a lot?
>Them - "Yeah, got into it back in '03 when it got pretty big for awhile, been doin it ever since"
>You - "No kidding? Do you use a specific grip style?/Have a favorite genre to beat off to?/ Have any recommendations for how to start?"
>And so on.

By askng followup questions like this you let the other person talk about their interest, and show that you actually give a shit about what they are saying.

>>16578317
Have you experienced it? Did you get any friend/gf out of this completely?

>>16578343
>Did you get any friend/gf out of this completely?

That's not how this works. The idea is to show interest in another person and asked follow up questions so you can start an organic conversation. It's just an easier way to talk to people if you don't have anything interesting to say, so you don't have to be the guy who talks about the weather constantly.

>>16578317
let me give you more realistic example

>You - "Hey how was your weekend?"
>Them - "Fine"
>You - "blablabla
>Them - "Yes"
>You - "blablabla"
>And so on until you get bored with it and give up and go cry under the bed.

>>16578535
>organic conversation
?

So then what's next?
After the guy tells me he likes to masturbate to peplums and I ask him what he likes about them and he tells me he likes the sight of bare-chested sweaty men rubbing against each other?

We go directly to his apartment for some WWE and chill?

>>16578596
Bump for this.

What should I do after active listening?

Ask questions, treat the other person like they're interesting and they'll think you're interesting.

>>16578052
I find it important to be able to craft a decent narrative, if you're going to tell a story.

Example:
My girlfriend cannot tell stories. She drones on and on and they never have a "point" to them. She gives weird boring details and skips everything that might be remotely relatable in the interest of arriving quickly at the part of the story she wants me to relate to.


If you're going to tell a story, no matter how big or small, think it through before you say it.

Make sure you know which details are important and what things the audience needs to know.

For example, if this is a story who's conclusion involves a person that your audience doesn't know, open by describing this person. That way you won't have to slow down or break the "flow" of the story when you get to the climax.

And remember, like everyone else is saying, people like to talk about themselves. Make sure any story you tell is entertaining and SERVES THE CONVERSATION.
If someone offhandedly brings up fishing, don't go on a long rant about how sad you were when your first gold fish died.

read ''How to make friends and influence people''
http://images.kw.com/docs/2/1/2/212345/1285134779158_htwfaip.pdf