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My fiancé has been paying my cellphone bill and expenses since

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My fiancé has been paying my cellphone bill and expenses since last February ever since I got laid off from my job. I had been going to interviews and job hunting with no success, so he had been paying for pretty much all my expenses. I don't like it and it makes me uncomfortable since I'm used to paying for myself, but he insists that he wants to help me out and goes out of his way to pay for me and says that I don't have to pay him back. I didn't want his help at first, but since I was in need of the money, I accepted his kindness. But because he had been paying for my expenses, he became very demanding. At first it was only fair since he was paying for everything, but he began controlling me whenever I couldn't fulfill his requests. He would bring up something he paid for and say "Who do you think has paying for ____ ? Did you forget that I paid for THAT? "

I recently got hired again and I'm slowly getting back on my feet, but as soon as he heard the news now he's asking me to pay back EVERYTHING he's ever paid for me these past few months. What the actual fuck? I just feel like there's something really twisted about this situation but at the same time I can't help but feel extremely guilty that he's spent so much money on me.

What should I do?
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>>16575544
Pay it back and Ieave. He's been paying to controI you. This is unheaIthy in a person and onIy gets worse. Do you reaIIy want something Iike this forever with this person? Do you see any situation escaIating? lf so, Ieave the situation.
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>>16575550
This OP. I real man that loves you would never do something like that. I would never treat my gf like that. Helping her and then demanding the money back. What an asshole.
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>>16575550
This
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Does he do anything else you find odd?

Does he ask to read your messages, or need to know where you are all the time?
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What kind of demands are we talking here? "Wash the dishes", stuff like that?
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>>16575550
This, but no, don't pay him back. Don't reward that kind of behavior. Get out now and go enjoy your life of autonomy.
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>>16575550
If I can guess which key on your keyboard is broken, will you give me a prize of some sort?
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>>16576224
>don't pay him back

>He might sue

Much better to avoid the time spent in court and the fees.

then again he'd have to prove it was to be paid back and if he didn't say that then you're free to go. None of this sounds good and it's best to head out as soon as you can.
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>>16576252
He has absolutely no case. There wasn't a contract signed. The judge would laugh him out of the court, because every lawyer in the world knows that money spent under the auspices of a engagement/relationship are free game. Until they get married, no court in the country gives a shit who did what with whatever money under that shared roof.
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I understand his attitudes a little coz I have the same experience with him.
You should tell him that your real opinions and feelings first.if you and he don't solve this problem I don't know what will happenes to you.
Actually I broke up with my ex just because of this problem.
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>>16576252
What's he going to sue for? She didn't agree to pay him back, as far as she was ever made aware, he was doing it out of the kindness of his heart. There's generally also a presumption that in cases where people are close like this, it was intended to be a gift, and he'd have to prove it wasn't - which he has no evidence of
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Fucking drop him.
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>>16576318
>She didn't agree to pay him back

He said that in his post

>it was intended to be a gift
>he'd have to prove it wasn't

He said that too. You're just posting what he did above.
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>>16575544
My wife doesn't work, but that's through choice rather than her not being able to find a job, so I'm the breadwinner. The reason we do it this way is because I don't mind providing all the money for our family (in fact I'm quite proud that I'm able to do it, hence the humblebrag) in exchange for not having to even think about anything to do with running the house, and she doesn't mind dedicating her life to running the house even though it means she's dependant on me for money. In your case though, it sounds like he's just trying to blackmail you in to being his lackey, especially given that he's asking for the money back now that you're not going to be there to pander to his every whim.

Now is probably a good time to get out of the relationship. Controlling behaviour generally counts as domestic abuse, and people with that kind of personality usually get worse over time rather than better.

Also, don't feel that you have to repay him even a penny. He might rant and rave about it, but just tell him to get fucked. It's not like he can take you to court for it - if I were to hypothetically leave my wife, the judge would say that because I've been giving her x amount of money for the last 12 years, after we split I'd have to continue to give her y amount of money for z years. So your guy should consider himself lucky he gets to walk away scott free rather than getting stuck with an alimoney bill.
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If you want a clean a break as possible, just pay it back.

If I'm being generous, I would assume his money situation isn't that great. Even if that's the case, you don't want to be with someone who has so little grace during bad times. Pay the money back if for no other reason than to avoid anything hanging over your head. When the guilty feeling is gone, you see with a much clearer head that he's a total douche.
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>>16576391
>you don't want to be with someone who has so little grace during bad times
This. There will be more and if he can't handle it now then it'll only get worse when you're stuck married and he knows that.

>When the guilty feeling is gone, you see with a much clearer head

and this. Think this all over but it's obviously not good for you.
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>partner loses job
>dw babe I love you I'll help out
>months roll by
>no job
>still spending my money though
>wtf bitch
>get a fucking job
>she brought something else?!?
>man fuck this shit
>what the fuck am I getting out of this?
>remind her where things came from to teach her some semblance of a lesson
>ask her for favours to balance things out
>fucking finally gets a job
>you can pay me back now thanks

It's not that unreasonable you fucking kucks. Fucking abusing his kindness.
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So, you've been out of work since February, and you thin your bf is the issue?
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>>16577117
Then he should have asked her to pay him back in the first place... And cut off money if it became a problem. Nobody was forcing him to help her
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>>16577168

Or she could stop being entitled and stop trying to squirm out of responsibility. Nobody was forcing her to spend his money unashamedly.
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>>16577177

Or he should have asked her to pay him back in the first place... And cut off money if it became a problem. Nobody was forcing him to help her
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>>16575649
>>16576220

These wouId be good indicators on how bad it reaIIy is.
Thread posts: 23
Thread images: 1


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