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Alcoholics anonymous

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Hey /adv/, I do not need help or your opinion of AA or NA.

I have been sober for a year, I no longer desire liquor and I am actively sponsoring two newcomers.
That said,
Im still a huge liar. I tell everyone god or a higher power has kept me sober and sane this long, but when i pray i feel nothing and its been like that since the beginning. I am scared to tell my sponsor about this because I talk about how important it is to have a higher power in order to stay sober to everyone.

Im scared because i do not want to go back and i know how important it is to have a power greater than yourself in order to achieve long term (lifelong) sobriety.

hopefully that makes sense, thank you for your input.
>>
Many of the greatest feats in history have been done without the belief in a higher power. And I feel confident that you are plenty strong enough to stay sober for your whole life. Good luck
>>
>>16573425
You need no power greater than yourself, expecting a higher power to save you sets you up for failure.

If you never found god, you never needed it from the get go.
>>
Plenty of atheists believe in higher powers than themselves. I do. I just believe in powers that are actually real. Country, community, society, even family. Maybe you couldn't have gotten sober yourself (and maybe you could have, I don't know; there's no shame in needing help, of course) but the AA community, and perhaps your friends and family, are the ones who really helped you. Not God. He didn't do shit.
>>
>>16573444
should i stop preaching then? If im not practicing what im preaching im a hypocrite right? I am everything i hate about religion except the opposite. I tell people to find god without believing in a god or gods or anything, myself.

I tell people to pray, because thats what my sponsor told me to do and im still sober so he must be on to something.
>>
>>16573425
Come on now bro, admit your faults to others and make amends to the best of your ability. We dont judge your faults, we judge people who refuse to own them and act contrary to them.

Tell them you lied. A lot of people in AA will love to know that somebody has stayed sober without the big guy in the sky. The way you're going now is a recipe for disaster, and the shame will likely lead to isolated feelings and relapse.

Take it easy
>2 years soberfag here
>>
Jesus Christ there is a whole chapter in the big book about this shit anyways what the fuck. Open your book to page 44 now you self-pitying motherfuck.

My higher power is Tiw, the Anglo-Saxon god of war and justice. His noble sacrifice for the service of the Gods and mankind inspires me to give up on my selfish wants and desires throughout the day for a greater goal of serenity and peace of mind and nothing more.
>>
>>16573477
I kind of know that that is what it is going to come down to, Im re-working the steps and ill probably just put it in my next 5th step.

I already feel shame but im used to it. Its a lot less than it used to be. Comfort in whats normal to me i guess. Its not to the point where i would throw everything away again. Nothing seems worth throwing my sobriety away for.

Thanks for your input fellow
>>
>>16573425
>Hey /adv/, I do not need help or your opinion of AA or NA.
>hopefully that makes sense, thank you for your input.

I'm not entirley sure if you're looking for responses or just wanting to vent, but I'm going to give you a sugestion anyhow.

Option one would be to "shop around" for a higher power that works for you. Talk to some christians, talk to some hindus, talk to some jews (can you choose to "become" a jew? never quite sure if it's a religion or a race), even talk to some pastafarians if you like. Just see if there's anything you feel a connection with.

Option two would be so simply create your own higher power. This is perfectly legitimate - your higher power is just there for *you* to draw strength from, it's not something that you have to explain or justify to other people. You could pick up a pebble, stick some googley eyes to it, take a sharpie and write "bob" on it, and bob could then be your higher power (granted, there are probably more sensible choices than a pet rock, but you get the idea). As long as *you* believe it helps you that's the only thing that matters.

Besides, even without a defined higher power, you're doing really well just by yourself. You've got through a whole year, and I'd imagine there's been some very dark days in that time, but you've stayed sober.
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>>16573504
dont point the big book out to me homie, me and my sponsor are "big book thumpers" in town

"were our contentions true, it would follow that life originated from nothing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere."

is exactly what i think is true

"the realm of spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men."

you sound a little close minded there family
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>>16573524
its more of the fact that praying feels useless because it doesn't do anything for me. How would praying to a rock make any difference and if i did make a higher power, it would have been created by me, therefore not more powerful than i. I know for a fact that i wouldn't even be here without AA. If i just shitposted and worked without doing anything altruistic i would have gotten drunk a long time ago. If i wouldnt have done my 5th step or made amends my family would still hate me and i would have never realized what a selfish prick i was.

and yeah i noticed the tsundere in the op after i posted it, what i meant to say was i don't need help with working the steps or AA in general, this is a more personal thing
>>
>>16573544
>accusing me of being close minded
>durr this is what i believe and refuse to give an ear to anything else

That whole chapter is about the irrelevance of what WHAT your higher power is, as long as you accept you aren't the highest power in your own life. Maybe you didn't read the part where my higher power is a fictional norse god who does nothing for me directly but reminds me of important virtues. Stop cherrypicking the parts you don't like and look at the overall message. I guess that would break your rationale to leave the program behind though, so i doubt you will.

>guise i need halp
>here do this
>no i wont do that bc reasons
Just like a newcomer. You can always go try some more controlled drinking, your seat will still be here when you're really humbled, if you're alive.
>>
Have you considered going buddhist and meditate instead?
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>>16573524
My religion is going for a walk in the woods and going for a walk in the dark. Walk through the woods so often that you can do it in the dark. I don't know, the contemplation it brings is just good for the mind.

Also you'll be less fat.
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>>16573594
Sorry man, that was kinda malicious. I forget to turn my 4chan mind off on /adv/ sometimes. Shouldn't have gone off like that when you're asking for help.

But call your sponsor dude, get humble and do the right thing for your sponsees. Our literature can help if you have an open mind about it and accept what works for you. I live in California, where fucking nobody wants to hear ANYTHING about God, ever, and yet people get sober here and stay sober. You're don't have to be different.
>>
>>16573444
>>16573468

sorry bro but doesnt make you a athiest. athiest bellieves all gods do not exist. full stop. so bascally a religion for skeptics...
or you are agnostic

if you believe in a higher power, thats cool but dont say you are a athiest. you are spritual
there are roughly 250 organised religeons out there so it might take a while to find the one for you. if at all.

think of your higher power like a big brother trying to steer you in the right direction. you dont have to pray. think of it like this: if god(s) is everywhere, he knows where to find me.
your darkest moments are where you need the most solace. have you got a partner or therapist/counciling you can ask for help?

>you can only take sobriety one day at a time. unfortunately some days it seems like several days try to attack you all at once... as henry ford once said: tough times dont last: tough people do

good luck
Thread posts: 16
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