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>be dating current bf >he's 28, i'm 23 >it's

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>be dating current bf
>he's 28, i'm 23
>it's been about 7 months since we've known each other
>tells me all the time "i can see this as something that's real and lasting"
>thought he was just being sweet/cute at first
>mfw i'm slowly starting to realize he's talking about marriage

his older brother (30 y/o) is already married. a lot of his friends in his generation seem to be getting hitched too. i once mentioned how my best friend has been dating her bf for 5 years; he answered "that's crazy, how are they not married? they practically are." (my best friend and her bf are my age) he also wants to meet my mom, whom i've warned to him that it's probably not a good idea due to how strict she is. he still insists on meeting her.
am i being paranoid thinking he's talking about marrying me?

i love him a lot, and he's an extremely passionate, smart, and hard working guy. but i feel VERY anxious about that topic. i'm stressing out and my body feels tense just thinking about it. i just feel like i'm too young to be thinking about that, i don't know him well enough, it's too soon to talk about that stuff, i don't know if that's what i even want...

the relationship feels a bit different to me now, as if there's a time limit and i could be possibly wasting his time if i end up feeling i can't marry him. but at the same time, he's the best guy i've been with so far and he makes me very happy.

please help me calm down. i know he's not going to propose this year or anything, but i feel like it's probably going to happen by our 2 year mark and i don't know how to feel about that.
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>>16571776
This is why they say age gaps aren't a good idea. You're at different points in your lives - he'll want to settle down and get married and have kids within a year or two, while you're probably still finishing off school or just getting started on your career.

As far as advice goes, I think this is something you need to talk to him about, not skirt around the issue forever. Let him know you're not ready and perhaps give him a timeframe of when you will be
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>>16571779
>while you're probably still finishing off school or just getting started on your career

yep, this is exactly me... i haven't even gotten the chance to live on my own yet.

i'm also well-aware of how it's harder to get married off by the time you're in your late 20s/early 30s as a woman... so i realize i have a time limit too.

i guess i could talk to him, but the thing is, i think it's my personal issue; i can't help but think of how miserable i might end up because of how my mom and dad's marriage was. they ended in a messy divorce that involved the police. both were miserable through all my childhood. (they met through an arranged marriage though)

i don't want to end up like that, but i can't help but find similarities to him with my dad; though he is very sweet, thoughtful and loving to me. i'm so scared and stressed holy shit
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>>16571815
>i have a time limit too.
Well that's rubbish, people of all ages get married.

It sounds like you don't even want to get married. Is he aware of this? I still think you should talk to him, it'll help you get things sorted. It's not fair on him if he assumes you want the same things as he does, and it's not fair on you that this relationship is causing you this much stress.
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>>16571776
You should NEVER get married if you're not 100% confident with it. If you do then you're just going to hold a grudge on him in the future and it's not good. There's not much we can do for you, just talk to him about how you feel and that although you're very happy with your relationship that you're just not ready yet.
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>>16571815
This chance won't come again, you're already 23 and about the be 24. 23 is considered to be the absolute limit for a woman to be married, where I come from, anything after that is considered to late. He hasn't even proposed yet, yet you are stressing out already. You don't even know what you will feel when another year passes. You might want to marry him then, but the decision you made now will prevent you from doing so. Tell him straight up that if he wants to marry you, that you're not ready and that he has to wait. You better not fuck this up, a man would not want to marry a woman, if he didn't feel he could trust her, this guy obviously trusts you and wants to settle down with you. Make your choice, but if you make the wrong one, you will regret it later on big time.
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>>16571830
>23 is considered to be the absolute limit for a woman to be married, where I come from, anything after that is considered to late
Where are you from, the 1700s?
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>>16571830
>This chance won't come again, you're already 23 and about the be 24. 23 is considered to be the absolute limit for a woman to be married, where I come from, anything after that is considered to late.
Where ever you're from OP is not.
>Make your choice, but if you make the wrong one, you will regret it later on big time.
There is no right or wrong choice. I agree with your advice for OP to straight up tell him, but come on now. Stop making it life or death for OP.
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>>16571832
From the 1500, get your head out of your ass, 23 is the limit because, woman age alot faster than man, and if this woman gives birth to a child, that process will accelerate. Just think about it, lets say she married at the age of 27, she would already look like she's in her 30's. And if she gives birth, she would like like 35 or even older, while the dude, looks 29 still. Do you think you would want to marry a woman who looks alot older than you do? That's why most guys go for younger girls. To balance it out, smart-ass.
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>>16571841
Typo, meant to say women.
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>>16571841
He's freaking 28, and he wants to settle down with het due to her age. just think about it. Why would anyone try to settle down while he knows the other is not ready, he's trying so hard to meet her mom. And if she also has a nice personality, and she is good looking too, that makes it even better.
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>>16571822
>>16571828
i do want to marry if he's right for me, but i'm scared of making the same mistakes my mom made... i will talk with him about it, he's unaware of how badly my parents have separated and how marriage scares me because of it. thank you anons.

>>16571830
this is what i am also worried about. i do feel like he's a good man so far, but again, i don't have good experience of what a marriage is like... it terrifies me if it's not with the right man. i will talk with him... hope he will understand...
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>>16571776

what else are you gonna do in life? slut it up with temporary hookups?

get married and accomplish something meaningful with that man.
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>>16571830
how's it going achmed?
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>>16571776

>"I love him a lot"
>"I like him a lot", FTFY

Why people use the word "love" for every shallow feeling? you clearly don't love that guy, he is just convenient to you, stop leading him into something that might hurt him in the future, do people actually knows what "love" mean?
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>>16571776
Do you think you will want to marry him eventually?
less than a year is absolutely nuts to seriously think about this stuff desu. He probably sees his peers settling down and wants the same, just like 27y/o women want to grab the first man that comes along and marry him.


>tells me all the time "i can see this as something that's real and lasting"
he may WANT this to work more than be actually looking wheter it actually DOES.

>the relationship feels a bit different to me now,
>as if there's a time limit and i could be possibly wasting his time if i end up feeling i can't marry him.
If he was in his right mind proposing to you and you don't want to then yes you're wasting his time. but you only have the suspicion that he wants to propose and if he really does so within the year then he has some serious problems that are far worse than you wasting his time.
>but at the same time, he's the best guy i've been with so far and he makes me very happy.
7months is still very far away from seriously thinking about marriage though.

>
please help me calm down. i know he's not going to propose this year or anything, but i feel like it's probably going to happen by our 2 year mark and i don't know how to feel about that.
a lot can happen in the next 15 months, 2 years is pretty normal time to start thinking about that stuff but early to actually do it. you've only been together for 7 months right? Soo much can happen in the meantime, you may change your mind, he may change his. If you're seeing the relation in such a different way then it is quite a thing that you'd even reach 2 years and you'd probably be way more shure about it by then.
Remember there's no timelimit and if you think he's actually seriously planning things there's still ways to hint that you're not ready without having to embarass him on the spot.

ALSO: KEEP IN MIND that this whole tread is based on suspicion and assumption. you don't know what he's upto, the 2 years mark is a total guess!
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cont. from:>>16571994

>>mfw i'm slowly starting to realize he's talking about marriage
Basically everyone who's serious with someone has that on their mind a bit. cautiously but it's allways what we hope will happen.

>he still insists on meeting her.
if you're serious for 7 months, most people would have done the "meet the parents"thingy way before that.

>am i being paranoid thinking he's talking about marrying me?
if you lack serious indications, kind of yeah.

> i feel like it's probably going to happen
>feel

so much assumptions, so little real indications, is there any reason to think you're not just making this stuff up? talk to him about it!
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>>16571841
10 bucks says this poster is a shit skin
>>
I mean previous posts about assumption are true and i concur, i would add that it could depend entirely on his life experience, his security levels i.e. whetherfeels he deserves you, whether he has experienced rejection or failed relationships etc. If thay is the case, he may just want comfort and a little reassurance. Letting him know that this is a good thing and that you plan on staying with him may eleviate any apparent anxieties. Some people are pressured by family, faith or freinds to jump into marriage and some people find the whole thing repugnant. I think that whatever you guys want, you should want it together and the only way to do that is to actively chose the possibly scary decision to talk, openly and plainly with love what you both want. Doesn't have to be dramatic and serious, it could just be when you're chilling.

That's my 2 cents anyway

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