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My girlfriend tends to hang out with guys every so often (just

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My girlfriend tends to hang out with guys every so often (just him and her) like going out to eat or shopping or whatever. This irks me, because its not something that I'm used to. I trust her with all my heart to stay loyal. Plus, she did this a lot before she was with me and before she had a bf. But still its just a bit bothersome.

Somewhat out of spite, and somewhat because I wanted to, I hung out with a girl and went to the library to study with her. I did the same thing my gf did: refer to her as a "friend", fill up my Snapchat story with pics and vids of her, that sort of thing. And of COURSE my girl finds out and gives me the silent treatment.

Am I just doing this whole boyfriend thing wrong? Idk. I don't particularly like her hanging out with JUST one other guy. She has told me before she prefers guys over girls because they're less stressful and more honest.
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>>16570933
she's having sex with them behind your back
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The difference between what you did and what she did is that she has always done this with her friends. You knew this was what she did before you started dating her. Also, you're doing it just to spite her, she's doing it because they're friends of hers.
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>>16570933
I understand why you're upset.
Get to know the guy better and see how their friendship is like. If they're buddy-buddy and touch a lot then your worries are in good place.
But keep in mind that this is her friend. So their relationship might be nothing but friendly. You can't expect her to stop socializing with someone she knew way before she met you. Is normal and honestly a lot more logical for a girl to like spending more time with male friends.

And that little stunt you pulled with the other girl was kinda bitchy.
It's like you want her to get mad and dump you.
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>>16570969
Wasn't really a stunt. I actually needed to go to the library and study. I decided I'd bring along a girl who I chat with sometimes in the class.
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>>16570933
>Am I just doing this whole boyfriend thing wrong?
She's just a butthurt hypocrite. If she doesn't like it, point out that you're not doing anything that she hasn't done. And you actually haven't even gone that far. What she's doing, with the shopping/eating, I'd consider a date. You went to a goddamn library.
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Yeah dude I don't know. That would make me antsy as fuck, even if they were friends in the past.

Maybe nothing is happening, but these days you can never be sure with girls.
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>>16570969

>So their relationship might be nothing but friendly

If he ain't gay he is for sure trying to get in her pants, every men knows that.
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https://youtu.be/TY3rT2N1Ecs
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>>16571225
this

and the reason that girls with lots of guy friends is a red flag is because AT BEST she is an attention whore who can't make chick friends

guys will put up with a bad chick for the sake of pussy or at least eye candy
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>>16571225
>>16571271
If she was just friends with them and managed to keep their advances at bay before she was in a relationship, OP should trust her to do the same now.
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>>16571294
She's still in it for the lingering orbiter at best.
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>>16571307
Or maybe she sees people for who they are as friends, not their gender
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>>16571311
Keywords "she sees"
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>>16570933

so let me get this straight, your girlfriend had this completely normal platonic relationship with another guy...

and to make her mad you purposely hung out with a girl and filled up your social media with her just to get a rise out of your gf?

yeah ur doing this bf thing wrong. sure maybe she shouldn't have gotten upset over it, but you shouldn't have either and of course you shouldnt have PURPOSELY TRIED TO UPSET YOUR GF.

reboot and start over, you trashed this relationship.

>>16571271

on the other hand, shes not OP, who purposely tries to upset his own GF.
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>>16571319
You realize that even among dudes it's odd to hang out with just one other guy, yes?
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>>16571318
First of all, that's a figure of speech, and second of all, what's the problem with that even if you take it literally?
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>>16571324
Of course that's completely normal. Are you suggesting it's weird for two girls to hang out together too? You sound insecure
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>>16571324

you must live a really stupid life if you can't even just hang with a friend because of some stupid rule that says its 'odd'. i do this quite frequently. of course we have our regular group, but we do quite a bit of 1 on 1.
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>>16571335
I hang out with my room mate. But I don't go on a mall and dinner date with one other dude unless somebody cancelled
>>16571325
because the only chick friends guys have that they don't want to fuck are ugly or fat. And when that's the case half the time she wants to fuck him.
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>>16571344
>because the only chick friends guys have that they don't want to fuck are ugly or fat. And when that's the case half the time she wants to fuck him.
Newsflash: girls aren't guys, and girls and guys are different. What you said has nothing to do with this at all - if OP's girlfriend has managed to keep her friendships completely platonic on her end, both before and during the relationship, OP's insecurity is the problem, not her behaviour.
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>>16571344

outside of a hypothetical sense, id disagree. i know you want to believe that your thought process is literally the only thing that could happen because you are you, but its not.

other guys manage to hang out with girls just fine.
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>>16571344
>I hang out with my room mate. But I don't go on a mall and dinner date with one other dude unless somebody cancelled
Why not? Do you think it's gay or something?
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>>16571344

thats weird. me and my friend love eating so we go out to eat once every two weeks or so. sometimes we bring a friend but generally its just the two of us so we can talk about our own relevant stuff.

my friend brian and i arent really 'go out' types, but we'll often get together just to play co op games or two player card games like star realms.

sounds like you live a REALLY narrow existence if you can't even hang out with someone cuz a third person can't be found. hopefully one day you stop caring what random strangers on the street think when they see you enjoying lunch with a bud. thats some weird arbitrary rules you live by
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>>16570933
Girlfriends are supposed to be satisfied with their boyfriend being there best friend and guy friend in life. I will continue to think and say that a girl and a guy cannot be just friends, they are building wing man relations incase shit goes sour. This always fucking happens.
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>>16571371

while some people do keep back ups around, it seems silly that a girl should have to drop all her male friendships just because shes seeing a guy.

romances tend to be fickle. friendships not so much.

all of your romances tend to end sooner or later. friendships can crash and burn, but unlike romances they often just phase out. generally becuase romances or other such things get in the way.

point being that friendships are more sturdy than romance, so a girl shouldnt have to stop hanging with her bro of 4 years just because some asshole shes been dating for 3 months wants to keep her to himself.
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>>16571362
I work with 8 gay men, no, it's because hanging out one on one in a dinner and money spending date in general is a waste as opposed to doing it as a group. It's wasteful monetarily.
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>>16571382
Thats the way it is. People go out in groups in cliques for social assurance and when they have a mate they lose the closeness of that group or clique and focus on the relation. Lose the relation people start to get close to friends again for reassurance.
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>>16571385
So if you did that with just your girlfriend, would that be a waste of money too? Are you saying you should always do it with as many people as possible? Perhaps in restaurants they should do away with individual tables and just have one big one so it's not a waste of money?
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>>16571225
>mfw gay

you guys still do this shit even when your girlfriends hang out with us. get the fuck out of here.
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>>16571391
No, because there's pussy and romance involved. My bros can come to the gym or just hang out at one of our apartments. If we're spending money it's better as a group.
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>>16571389
I have a boyfriend. I also have friends, and while I do spend more time with my boyfriend than my friends, I don't neglect my friendships just because I have a boyfriend. Most people are like that, it's all about balance and if your only friend is your partner, you're doing it wrong.
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>>16571389

sometimes, sure. doesn't mean an entitled jerkwad should make his gf stop hanging out with her friends just cuz hes jealous. its her spare time, its her own life.

when you get older you'll understand.
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>>16571397
What about female friends then, where it's completely platonic? Or are you too socially stunted to have friends of the opposite gender?
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>>16571401
>When you get older

When you get older you stop having as many close friends.
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>>16571404
That doesn't mean you don't have friends. And that happens because other aspects of your life, like work and family, fill your time, it's not because you have a partner.
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>>16571397
You have the weirdest fucking logic.
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>>16571404

sure. fewer. maybe none if im a jerkwad who stops hanging out wiht them everytime i date someone new.

but i dont do that, so theres always a few buds to be had. all the old people i know still have friends.
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>>16571403
I find girls incredibly boring to have as friends. I only have platonic work friends but they're always flirting with me because I'm attractive. I've tried when I found one girl who was cool(and I found unattractive), but I'm too about bantz for girls to get along with me platonically. I'm an abrasive person and get along best with other funny assholes.
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>>16571421
I have a stwpdad and a dad and my dad has no friends, my stepdad only has a friend because of my mom. Neither of my grandpas have friends. My uncle has no friends. They all used to have friends. They have work "friends" but no actual close ones who really get them.

Doesn't happen in my experience.
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>>16571438

if yours was the only experience, it'd be the one that mattered the most.
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>>16571446
I'm only 22, who knows. I just don't know any man over 40 with close friends.
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>>16571455

i guess it depends on your definition of close? my boss still goes out to lunch with many of his friends, generally one at a time (i know cuz i manage the schedule). my dad doesnt go out to eat with friends one on one, but will generally have a friend over for a beer if he can make one (he moves a lot).

my last boss has a long standing tradition of throwing his best friends party at his own hosue every year, even when he (my boss) is out of the country.

I'm only 23 myself, but most of my friends are between 28 and 34. i know thats not quite 40, but i dont see how 40 is a magical cut off point.

point being, maybe you should open up to the possibility of going out to lunch with a friend and just shooting the shit over good food.

or dont, its your life. but you seem like one of those christians who dont eat pork just cuz the bible says not to. arbitrary rules are arbitrary.
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>>16571465
That's when most men get married and then drift apart these days.
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>>16571485
>>16571485

interesting. i wouldnt imagine 40 as the more common wedding time, but ive only ever been to my brothers (he was early 20s) so i wouldnt really know.

either way, i hope you consider opening your mind/life up a little bit to male companionship. traveling in packs certainly has its advantages, but knowing you got one solid friend out there who looks forward to seeing you and only you is a pretty awesome feeling.
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>>16570933
I wouldn't worry about it op. As you get older most friendships aren't like they are when you're a teenager or early twenties. Most people are busy with their lives, careers, and relationships so tend to see your friends less and less. The only ones who don't fuck off are usually ugly or embarrassing people that you don't need to worry about anyways. When you're younger it's completely normal to have lots of friends. It's if you go to marry them and they're texting someone all the time, buying them shit, or lying to you about hanging out with them - then you need to run. Fast.
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