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Let's hear it.

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Let's hear it.
>>
if things keep goin this way I'll be dead by January.
>>
I swear to God I need pussy so bad
>>
I give up.
>>
I once put myself in the hospital by accidentally drinking too much water.

I wasn't on ecstasy or running a marathon.
>>
>>16567386
I almost raped a girl just now. She was basically asleep on my chest and I moved her hand inside my pants. She soon woke up as I was feeling her nipple and ran out of the room. What the fuck is wrong with me? I would never do something like this sober, I let the alcohol take hold but that is not an excuse. I am a terrible human being,
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>>16567558
I have a fantasy of being fondled and fucked while asleep or wasted.

I asked my first boyfriend to do it an he said it was sick and I was weird.
>>
>>16567565
But you are not this girl. She is apparently traumatized and I was swiftly asked to leave the premises. I've inflicted this upon an unwilling participant and by that means I've acted out as a terrible Christian. I will never drink again, this is truly the worst thing I've done, and this is after my discovery of faith...
>>
You helped me become a better person and I just want to thank you. That's all I can say unfortunately because I'm wallowing in shit when I shouldn't be. I miss the fun we shared but I know you'll be alright. I let it all go.

But we all know the ride never ends.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE4VlA_9OrI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JkIs37a2JE

Peace and fucking brothers and sisters. Have a good night.
>>
M

I dont want to date you or be friends.
Talking to you is only draining my time, i want to be free and not held back any longer. Why can't you just get the message i don't want anyone getting hurt.

C.
>>
I'm depressed.
Really badly.
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That's not a nice way to talk about your sister
>>
ever since i decided to change my major, I feel like i don't have a purpose anymore. for all of my college career I wanted to teach and i had a rough career plan from day one of my graduation to the day I retire, but now I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life anymore. honestly, I'm very scared/anxious for what the next 6 months to 2 years will play out like, and i hope i don't end up a NEET or an hero.
>>
>>16567668
Go see a psychiatrist then.
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>>16567622
We can have fun again, though.
>>
Fall in love with me please.
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>>16567664

I feel this way and I don't want to lead a MC or a woman the wrong way neither.

Been on the receiving and giving end of this and it's better to be on the receiving. It really is.

It helped me grow as a person, it made my next friendships better and I learned boundaries. It never works out sometimes in relationships but that's part of it.

You'll smile when you're wiser.

>>16567671

"Give them an inch and they take a mile."

Just kidding, peace and fucking is a quote from Nathan Barley.

Peace.
>>
>>16567386
I wish I was braver
>>
Feeling pretty good right now familia. I'm gonna make it
>>
>a chick who used to drunk dial me monthly as part of her monthly routine, but who was too shy to tell me who it was (half the time she'd forget to star 69 so I knew who was calling) just became a pro athlete

I'm not sure whether to be flattered that I was good enough for a pro-athlete to lust over or insulted that nothing ever came of it.
>>
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I'm so thirsty I just almost messaged a gonewild girl. This dry spell is going to kill me unless I meet someone soon.
>>
Now that I am... improved, and have resolved my issues, we could have it all; a, relatively, fresh start.

You know me. I do not believe in second chances at relationships, but circumstance, our connection, the potential, and the fact that when we were together was the only time either of us was truly happy... It seems worth the attempt.

I acknowledge all of this, which is why I am reaching out, on the only avenue we have left. I am not the man that posts in these threads, but for what we shared, sacrificed, and could have... I am compelled to try once more.

Would it be so terrible to meet me for coffee, or even dinner?

- R
>>
>back in sophomore year
>I was going through a bit of a fedora phase religion-wise
>dumb but extremely popular chick in one of my AP classes (mom & dad were rich)
>joked about her name and religion, "There's no hell in Michele!"
>known to be a virgin at that time
>zealously religious, extremely hot, and super nice
>remember playing tennis with her as a young kid
>topic of religion sometimes comes up when talking to her
>she refers to Muslims as "Islams" in total ignorance, obviously not very smart
>one day she asked me about my religion
>give le edge answer
>she's sort of confused but laughs it off
>offers me shared homework answers that she and the popular kids passed around, had never been offered this before
>during test days would wear revealingly low-cut shirts like a lot of girls in class, then go ask questions of the teacher about the test until he gave her answers
>would come back to the table and give me the test answers even though I never asked for them
>said she thought that my "smartness was hot"
>invited me to church every week
>said that she wanted to save my soul
>fast forward years later
>someone pumped her and dumped her freshman year
>she got pregnant and refused to have an abortion even though nobody would have ever known
>she is now a struggling single mom
>when I find out feel utter fucking rage that someone would do this to her
>she was always so sweet and kind to everyone
>especially to me

I fucked up. She was a really good person even if she was dumb. I wish that I had gone to church with her. I wish that it was my kid that she had given birth to. She deserves better.
>>
I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm terrified of ever falling in love again. I'm terrified because I know they won't live up to you.

It's not because you're a perfect being, you have plenty of flaws. But it's the quirky things you did that no one else will ever do for me that made me fall in love.

I am so sad by the fact that I wouldn't be able to find that in someone else. Everyone has their unique traits that I could fall in love with, but in the back of my mind, I'll just be comparing it to you.

That sucks. I don't want to start over. But I can't be with you now, either (as if that was a choice, but y'know). Maybe when we grow up more. Maybe.

I want to get to the point where I'm not tortured by the thought of you holding someone else. I want to feel like this wasn't my fault, that I was everything and more, and will continue to be so despite the passing of time.

I'm tired of people being angry at you for being human. Maybe it wasn't a mistake, maybe it wasn't. I don't think anyone should disregard your feelings because mine got hurt along the way.

I'm not to be pitied. I genuinely loved you, and I probably will for the rest of my life. My heart will always be open to you. I'm kind, I've got a lot to give, and I'm not ashamed of that.

So, I'm going to stop feeling bad about having feelings for you. I'm going to heal, I'm going to pick myself back up. I'm going to be okay.
>>
My girlfriends new friend is a viscious jealous bitch who is so lonely and miserable she is proactively trying to break me and her up so she doesn't feel like such a fucking loser.
She has fucked up her own life and blames everyone else for it and she spent so long sleeping around with various guys who all know each other that she has a reputation for being an easy fuck so no guy wants to be with her in any kind of a relationship.
She's poisoning my girlfriend against me because she resents that she has someone who wants to be with her.
I'm planning on bringing all the shit down around her. She sent me messages while she was drunk telling me "if she wanted she could steal me away from my girlfriend and I wouldn't even know it was happening."
My girlfriend needs a friend over the Christmas period since I'm working all the time and she doesn't have many other friends so I'm leaving things for now. I'm going to a New Years party with them both and at that party I'm not only showing my girlfriend the messages, the guy that my girlfriends friend likes is there and he kind of likes her but only because he doesn't know about her reputation or any of the guys she's been with. I'll be bringing a friend of mine who knows her who will "gently" break the news to him that while she has been trying to get with him she has been fucking literally any guy who will let her.
She's depressed and borderline suicidal but after some of the bullshit I've put up with from her over the past year or so I hope she fucking kills herself and gets the fuck out of my life permanently.
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>>16568022
Holy fuck lmao your lives complicated. But shouldn't you have a trust with your girlfriend in the first place? She's your first line of defence from this cunt. Show the messages now and tell the guy later in and she will feel even shittier
>>
>>16567993
lel why are you caring so much god damn that shit is out of your control. Move the fuck on
>>
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Personally for me I can't break up with my girlfriend. There's conflicting thoughts. She's never done anything wrong but I feel like my life's going nowhere. I'm starting to urge for that beginning chase to get a girl again. I'm a good looking guy and many hot chicks hit on me and it fucking blows. Also my goals in life might be different as well.

The thing is my girlfriend has never done a single thing wrong ever. I wouldn't even know what to say if I were to break up with her. She's obsessed with me. She can't imagine another life and would probably marry me. Scary to think and I question if I will have regret if I break up with her. Im at such a confusing stage and it's killing me. I know it will only get worse as time goes on.

The thing that made it even worse for me was when a dude broke down to me on omegle and said he had the same thing. He broke up with his girlfriend. Slept around with a bunch of people. But ended up never finding someone to replace his first high school sweetheart. I really don't want that to be me

Also we've been dating for almost 2.5 years since grade 11
>>
I am very nihilistic and depressed about life and instead of opening up about it I am very angry and short to the people who actually act like they care and besides work I have few hobbies like reading, video games, and working out. They are the only things I find joy and substance in anymore. I feel the more stupid video game shit I buy the more I am complete even though I dont need it all. I long to make great relationships with people yet shut anyone out who wants to spend time with me.
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>>16568086
Are you me?
>>
Oh god, have we gone right back to where we started? Where I'm constantly worrying about what you think and believing that I say the wrong thing? I don't want you to think poorly of me. I just want to be worth it. Worth your time. Worth your respect.

I'm tailoring my words, trying to get it right. But I don't see why I should stop. I'd be so annoying without a filter. No body wants to hear those ramblings. It's pointless.

I just want your approval. I want you to think I'm funny. I want you to think I'm cool.

At least I'm 'nice'. But boring and annoying.
>>
>>16568121
initials?
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>>16568125
Couldn't be you. Unless it is. I don't want to be a weirdo. I'm not ready for that conversation.
How would you feel if your person was me?
>>
I wish she would talk to me. All this time we've spent being so close to each other and now it's suddenly as if she wants to have nothing to do with me. She said she wanted to keep in touch and I said no, now that I've changed my mind it seems she has too, but I don't understand why. Was she lying to me before, or is she lying to me now? I shouldn't even bother with her anymore, but I can't shake the feeling that there could've been something more. I know she'll realize her mistake if she hasn't already, but will she do anything about it, I'm not sure. I hope she does, for her sake even. It's just a matter of time now.
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>>16568153
initials?
>>
>>16568138
Maybe you're right, I mean, there is a 99% probability that you are right.
However, I would appreciate if you would tell me this IRL and I would accept you, but I'm afraid I'm not who you think it is.. the same goes for me.
>>
I LOVE YOU
>>
>>16568093

I don't know. I highly doubt I'm the only one who has felt this feel. Hello buddy! You and I have the same feel, although thank you friend. It is suffering but instant moments of pleasure make it worthwhile to a point. Hang in there.
>>
>>16568160
I don't think so. You don't type like them.
Yeah, I suppose we could talk about it. But what would I say? How would they respond? What would the knowledge serve?
I suppose it could be viewed positively. Since I think they're so cool and all. I'm nervous to be accepted. They don't believe they're cool. Which I guess is hypocritical for me to say, since here I am believing I could never be accepted.
>>
>>16568161
I love you too
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>>16568213
I know you do! I wish I could be more attractive for you, though.
>>
>>16568199
You just say it. If they won't appreciate you right after the talk, they will definitely appreciate you later, when they will think about it for some time.
>people
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>>16568218
Say what? Why would they appreciate me? You could view what I'm doing as dishonest. I'm not being my true self. Are they going to encourage that? It's kind of a fearful existence, not going to lie.
Plus it'll probably cause them some grief, since it's like I don't trust them. Like I think they'll react poorly if I say the wrong thing.

But still, to what end would I say this? I don't want them to modify their behavior. It's all just me.
>>
I'm so lonely. I'm so empty. I hate my life. It's "perfect" and I'm "successful" but I hate it. I hate everything. I hate myself. I want to die. I hate where my life is going. I hate how miserable I am all the time. I hate that I never have time to do the things I want to do and when I do I have no energy. I hate how I'm alone, even though I'm technically not. I feel alone. I want to beg him to just listen to me and hold me but I don't want to scare him off with how deep my issues really are. I've hinted, I talk about it jokingly, but I fear if I let it out full force he'll reconsider. He's so analytical. He'd try to argue and reason and I just want some comfort. I wish he'd just tell me I'm lovable, and great, and no matter what I do or where I go in life I'll still be a great person because he truly thinks I am. I just want to cry and be held and have someone tell me it'll all be okay, no matter what.

I really just want to be held.
>>
>>16568224
>I want to beg him to just listen to me and hold me but I don't want to scare him off with how deep my issues really are.
I can relate.
I wish I could tell you how to get past that wall. I know that I like being there for the people in my life and take their troubles willingly. But I don't feel comfortable doing that to someone else.
>>
>>16568235
I had a long term relationship before where I said anything and everything on my mind. He ended up dumping me because he thought I'd "never get better" and couldn't see putting up with that for the rest of his life. I guess that's why I keep it inside. I think I'm too fucked for a relationship but I feel so lonely... Maybe suicide is the right answer if I'll never get better and I'll only drag others down with me or make them give up on me.
>>
>>16567386
Ok so basicly , this last week I've been feeling tired ,not in the sense of ''I want to sleep'' but in the ''My arms feel fucking tired and I can hardly walk around the house witout feeling a wave of instant fatigue''. It keeps staying day after day and this week I have slept more that I ever did before ... Ususaly I sleep like 5 hours a night (from 4am to 9 am if it matters) but now i've been sleeping 10 fuckin' hours per night (from 5 am to 3 pm) and I feel more tired when I wake up than when I went to sleep... I admit that I took a few pounds this year (past from 150lbs to 190lbs) but I know people who are fatter than me and they look quite normal energy wise. So yeah my question basicly is : wtf is happening to me.(Oh and by the way I don't know if this is important or not but I'm not feeling totaly happy these days if you get what I'm saying)
>>
When I think of how embarrassing this whole thing is and all the people who're watching it... God, itbetter be fucking worth it. It has caused nothing but an uninterrupted pain in the ass and there is simply no smooth way out of this, now there's this intriguing feeling of curiosity but hurt at the same time and I'm left wondering when this is gonna end and if you're coming at all in the first place.
Nice freaking charity, assholes.

All In All, it's been a nice ride I guess... Just wish I was with you on the other side, admittedly it must be fun af.
>>
i got drunk and cheated on my girl for the second time the other night and im not coping with how shit i'm feeling from it. she doesn't know
>>
>>16567941
>>
I just want a menial office job. Judging by all the stories I hear about them, you don't need to be super fucking smart to get an office job. In fact most employees are dumb as rocks. I have a disability in that standing or walking for long periods of time leads to pain. I need a job where I can sit, or they'll let me sit for like 5 minutes, every hour or so.

I need to know where to start to get an office job
>>
Gonna have to dump the gf in a while, but almost immediately after her birthday and just after christmas. Only way to avoid dealing with Valentines day since she prepares for all this holiday shit so goddamn early. Don't even like dumping her, but the relationship is a fucking sham at this point, and the person she used to be wouldn't have wanted this to be a lie. Need to cut shit now, for both our sakes, but years of sentiment makes it hard to do it. Fucking sucks being the bad guy, even if its the only real option.
>>
>>16567577
it's good nothing more happened and that you feel awful and regret it. just never do anything like that again
>>
>>16568015
what happened
>>
Everything is turning to shit since you left my family is getting sick and I'm getting severely depressed again
>>
You had dreams. You had ambitions. That's why I liked having you as a friend. We did a ton of fun shit together, things I'll never forget. You called me the one positive influence in your life.

I set high expectations for you because I thought you wanted to get out of that fucking trailer park. You said you didn't want to be stuck there forever. I just wanted to be there to help you along.

You gave up everything for booze. To see how far you have fallen is sad. I'm disappointed in you. I thought you were better than that.
>>
Part question, part just blowing off steam. Anyone here been to a psych ward or residential/day treatment over 18? For any condition. I spent an embarrassingly long and unproductive amount of time in CD treatments while I was under 18, but not since I've been over. I've been struggling a lot lately and I've been toying with the idea of going back to one of those places, but I hear it's way different for people over 18. Like only really serious cases, such as severe schizophrenia or treatment-resistant bipolar. Also, if I've been theoretically sober for 8ish months after last treatment and I pass the UA, what are my odds of getting placed into a CD program anyways? When I was under 18, there were people who were sober a YEAR and still in CD-based treatments even though they needed mental health care. Do they not give a fuck over 18? I will literally kill myself if they send me to another detox ward or CD treatment.
>>
I'm useless, can't do anything, can't even bring myself to go to therapy, I don't think I'll ever get better, the future fucking scares me because I know I'll never be sucessful. I think it would be a big relief for my family if I just killed myself. My dad has a revolver and he shoots some rounds for new year's eve, I'd like to take it from him and just shoot myself right there. or maybe starve myself to death, that's less expensive, but takes more time. fuck, I don't have anywhere to hang myself from, so I'm just hoping someone murders me soon.
>>
I've been drunk every night for about 6 months straight. Lately my job has left me alone in the office all day sometimes so I'll end up getting drunk at work too.

I'm quitting cigarettes, but I can hardly sleep if I don't have at least 6-8 beers in me. It's taking a toll on my mental and physical health for sure. I don't want to quit because no one knows I drink this much and I don't have anyone to not drink for anyway.

The 2 friends I currently have are moving out of state in a month, then I'll be completely alone.
>>
Am suicidal asf,
have mental illnesses
Living in a third-world
Can't commit suicide coz religion doesn't allow it and it's the only source of hope i got.
>>
I am feeling the struggle of convincing my girlfriend to be honest.

She's willing to be honest and transparent - and seems to believe in my ideas.

But still, she hesitates to be blunt. To tell me that she's still thinking about her flirt from before we started dating. To tell me that she still fantasizes about him.

It's not wrong. It's reality. And I do the same.

So confront me with it. Reality.
Please don't hide anything from me. Grow balls. Be honest. Be blunt.

I can take it. I want to hear it. Do not protect me.

The truth will make me stronger.
>>
I wish I could ask you out. I remember you from highschool: the reclusive girl who didn't have many friends. The only thing stopping me is I only know you from work, and it's a faux-pas to ask a lady out while she's working. Whenever I pop in, my heart skips a beat and I don't know why. Part of me wants to avoid you because letting go of the pursuit would be easier, but at the same time I wish I could get to know you more.
>>
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I wish I could call off the wedding because you're not the woman I fell in love with. I fear calling it off will ruin me because all of our friends and mutual and this exact same thing happened to your sister. You're controlling, obsessive, possessive. I don't know what happened to you but you don't treat me like a human being anymore, just an accessory or property. I love you but at the same time hate you and can do nothing about it.
>>
>>16568922
>The truth will make me stronger.
Liar.
>>
>>16567430
Buy a fleshlight
>>
>>16568922
Know that feel bro
>>
>>16568881
Find love and don't let go. Love heals, love unifies. Be humble.
>>
>>16568945
Mate run, your head is being fucked with. I bet she plays the victim too eh? It's all your fault, neverforget..
>>
>>16568702
>being triggered on a Mongolian goat roasting forum
>>
I'm better than you, and you know it. The fact that you're a female and I'm a male is a testament to my superiority. Do not ever argue with me if you KNOW that you'll get your ass kicked in it. It's true that Emotion and Logic are two different spheres, and that's what Plato and his peers have been arguing about, but please, do not, in the future, attempt to argue with me when your emotions get in the way of your rationality.

Please take care of yourself.
-J
>>
I want nothing more than to tell them what's wrong.

I keep hoping that maybe they'll take me aside and ask me, because I feel too awkward to be the one to bring it up out of the blue.

But not only that, deep down, I really don't think they're my friends, or that they care about it, and so I'm stuck in a vicious cycle...I can't open up to them because they won't care, and them not asking me how I feel "proves" they don't care
>>
>>16567386
I'm heavily considering seeing a prostitute. I'm about to turn 28 and still a kissless virgin. I constantly browse backpage escorts and look at different legal brothels in Nevada. I don't know what to do. The work it would take to make me even mildly attractive would be years of dieting and exercise. I hate myself and I just want to have sex with someone attractive. Fuck.
>>
I've realized im going to die alone.
There is no way out of this isolation.
>>
>>16569162
I'm in a similar boat, but I've never bothered because it will be empty and meaningless anyway. What's the point in losing your virginity if you get no pleasure out of it? So you can tell posters on an anonymous image board you avoided wizardry?
>>
>>16569193
No, so I can experience sex with an attractive woman. Bragging to you guys would be pointless. The only women that I could get are fat uggos like me. I don't want me. I hate me.
>>
>>16567386
Don't want my friends anymore.
Don't want my marriage anymore.
Just want to disappear into the millions.
>>
>>16569214
I'm in the same boat.
I want to do my own thing, I'm sick of belonging to everyone else.
>>
Said my crush that i love her. Got rejected hard. And it didnt hurt that much. Lol i loved her for 5 years. And i still do. Wtf is wrong with me.
>>
>>16569327
You can love someone even if they don't love you. Love is above appreciation not possession.
>>
I want to out-evil Hitler. I want to be a person that in the future people will fantasize about time travelling back to kill me. I want to cause so much damage to the world that God himself will have to come and stop me. I want people to wish I was never born and to hope I would just die already, but I wouldn't die yet, I want to keep on causing more harm and suffering afterwards.
>>
Don't push me away. Please. You're the only one I want to talk to.
>>
I'm currently in a marine technology program but I decided I want to go to school for four years. My step dad pays for it but he said he won't let me change my major. Once I finish, I will most likely be put into hydrographic surveying, where you go on a boat for five weeks and come back for five weeks. How tf can I get another degree?
>>
>>16569356
>wanting to out-evil Hitler
Fuck off faggot, die in a grave.
>>
>>16569378
No, Mr. Bond, I expect YOU to die.
>>
I might be bi, but im to afraid to experiment. Because, what if the last 21 years of being heterosexual were false and the wall of masculinity ive built will come crashing down.
>>
I still love my ex gf who dumped me a few weeks ago.
>>
>>16568156
CW
>>
>>16569343
Soo im fucked...
>>
>>16569463
Only if you want to look at it like that. Most people choose to cut contact with people who don't reciprocate their feelings in an effort to save themselves from their self-inflicted pain.
>>
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An employer replied to my email applying to a job and requested 3 references, but I only have two. I've been trying to get a third but it has been a week now. Should I just reply with the two references I have?
>>
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>>16569484

It's all there, it's been weighing on me for some time now. Hell, I've been losing sleep over it, never happened to me befor.
>>
God, I just want some piece, quiet, and mellowness. There's been too much noise in my life as of late.

Just a bit of solitude, please, to heal-up a bit emotionally and regain calmness of mind.
>>
That didn't make you a bad person, you are still a good person.
I was initially hurt, which is silly. This wasn't even anything really, we kept each other company, it was comforting. But I can't be your friend, you were right.
I just needed to say that.
x
>>
Just got rejected by a girl I like so sorry if this seems like a rant I had to break it into parts.

I was shocked honestly when we walked out of the building, and you started the conversion I asked how you thought you did on the final, and you just mumbled something. I pretended not to know what you said, and asked again, but knew you were saying you weren't interested, I don't know why, but hoped you would say something else, something less hurtful... You said you knew I liked you, how I would talk to you when coming outside of class, and or when our cars were close to each other in the parking lot. It felt embarrassing the way you described it, and felt so cringy when I heard each word come out of your mouth, and I didn't know what to say out of mine. You said you were in an on again off again relationship, I knew it was a lie, a stereotype response that I couldn't believe I was getting, I didn't want to call you out on it though what was the point. You then said you weren't looking to be with someone, or in a relationship, even though I was asking for any of that, not a relationship, not marriage, just a date to the movies so you we could get to know each other more outside of class. I knew you were looking for reasons to say no though, I just was never on the other end of it my mind not knowing how to respond without sounding desperate. You apologized over and over saying you were were sorry, but we both know if you were you never would of said no to begin with. Even though you said no we both stood in that parking lot and talked, the worst part was that it was the longest we ever talked to each other. Continued-
>>
>>16569595 Part 2

I told you I didn't date anyone since high school, and that I knew college was different, you said you never dated anyone, when you said that you just confirmed the fact you were lying; you didn't realize you contradicted yourself, about being in a on again off again relationship. Sure I joked, and you laughed when I tried to convince you about changing your mind, but I knew you were laughing not because I was funny, but because you were nervous, and that hurt, and I'm sorry for that. I really did like you too, I liked you when I saw you on the first day walk into the class room, and it grew over the the semester. I saw you and felt an aura, and thought I could connect with this person, even though you didn't. You were pretty, and not just any kind; you had natural beauty the kind where you don't need make up for for guys to turn their heads. You don't think your pretty though, which is what made you shine. I had been with pretty girls before, but you had something they didn't, you were kind, and genuinely a nice person innocent.about me as I do about them.
>>
>>16569601 Last part

I wasn't sure I would act though until I heard you mention that your brother use to be an addict,I never told anyone my dad was one that ever since he got into a bad car accident he started to drink more, and take pills for the pain, or how scared I was of him, and would barricade myself in my room in grade school; or when he had to go the detox, and rehab. I never told anyone, but I would of told you. I would of told you, because we both knew what it felt like. I would of told you why I'm putting myself out there, that it was because when I genuinely like someone my "first love" I didn't do anything, even though I was told by so many people to ask her, but I didn't, I didn't see anyone else either even when I was asked out by your her friends, I still said no, I couldn't be with other people, but I couldn't be with her either, because I was a coward. I was too late when I decided to do it, she moved on, and their still together, and probably will be together. Thats why I promised myself I would tell ask someone when I liked them more than a friend. Thats why I asked you out, because I knew not knowing, and wondering what could of been is the worst toxin of all, and I didn't want to wonder about you.It hurts though I wont lie, but at the same time thank you, because at least I know, and don't have to wonder. I'll be sad, but that won't last, I'll be at peace at least knowing how you feel. So thank you, for helping me grow as a person. I hope you find someone you like even if its not me, and I hope I'll find someone that feels the same way. I don't hate you, I can't hate you.
>>
I never told the girl I probably love that I even liked her before she moved 2000 miles away and now I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. To make it worse she probably liked me back too, and now even if I told her and she felt the same way we couldn't do anything about it
>>
fucfk i fucked up so fucking bad goddamnit what a waste of goddamn
shit shit shit shit shit
fuck guys.
>>
>>16567386
>Let's hear it.

4chan is Gay. Not a even joke and anons don't even realize it. Faggot anons spend most of their time calling people niggers and getting upset at women for daring to level the playing field but then spend the other bit of their time beating off to tranny porn, dressing up as women and giving each other compliments and whiteknighting trannies when their threads are shitposted.

Fags.

I guess I'm mostly mad cos I spend most of my time on a board made up of mostly jailhouse faggots who still say lol no homo.
>>
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It's sad that right now he's being a better friend than you, especially when he has less of an obligation to.
I'm beginnig to feel dependent on his interactions, although I would never let him know that.
I feel like I ought to be sexually attracted to him, instead, I regard him with the deepest affections.
If this is how it is to have an older brother look out for you, well... don't ever leave.
>>
I'm tired of dealing with ASPD. All of my actions are forced, I second guess myself constantly. I can't drink because I'm well aware how it would fuck up everything I've been working towards. These things were never an issue when I was an edgy teenager, but when I'm to the point where I see friends in stable deep relationships and the knowledge that I'm not even capable of that. I am just tired of faking my way through life and want some stability.
>>
Lack of sex is driving me crazy. Almost a year and I've been in this relationship for close to a decade. I'm over this shit. How the hell does it even get that bad? Thank goodness I'm not married.
>>
I hate how insecure you make me feel. Fuck you.
>>
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I just can't have friends, i am a horrible person, a long time ago i realized, "i don't need anyone in my life, i don't need a girlfriend, y don't need friends" but i just realized how depressed i am, and, i fucked up, im thinking of killing myself this christmas.
>>
>>16569763
"Jailhouse faggots" ima steal that epithet
>>
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I'm just so fucking done with it all.
>>
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I don't think I can love. Yet all I feel is loneliness.
>>
I'm annoyed about the way my brain works. Seeing 360 degrees and overanalyzing things. Being overly self aware. Never genuinely experiencing things because I'm never "dumb" enough to be completely swept up in the moment. Always considering everything. I'm annoyed of my fear of being ignorant. That and a constant low burning, mild, anger throughout the day. Eating away at me like poison.
>>
i feel that all types of girls dont like me and dont want have a relationship with me (Friendship or More than that)

What i should do? im really considering give up and be a transgirl or something like that..
>>
>>16568086
I know tfw you have no friends, and you shut out the closest things you have to them.
>>
>>16569763
Fucking true tho lol
>>
I might kill myself this week
>>
>>16570089
Go explore the world and enjoy life. Once you start ignoring the girls they'll want you. Seriously. They're like cats.
>>
hehe I lied
>>
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My manager flips her switch real easy and she freaks out on me once every month or so. Everyone else at work says she adores me and is a "cheerleader" for me. She'll sometimes seems like she gets my back but then if I slightly fuck up she'll just chew me out until I cry.

I want to tell her that it feels like she's being emotionally absive or go to HR and try getting a new manager. I'm scared of the politics that are involved and I feel trapped. I'd feel like it'd look bad to switch managers after getting my manager's recommendation for temporary position that may open up more doors for me.

I don't want to leave because it pays really good and I have fantastic benefits. I'm actually able to put away money.

But fuck, the emotional abuse is rough.
>>
I'm ending it all and I don't care for the consequences.

If all my goals and dreams in life are impossible, then why bother living with no purpose?
>>
>>16569888
How have you been in a relationship for almost 9 years and sex has dropped off this much? Have you tried talking to your partner about it? Are they just not feeling it?

I was in a relationship where there was a lack of sex. I tried to hang in there and I talked ot him. He kept saying that he really just couldn't keep up with the pace of sex that I wanted. He just wanted sex maybe once a week or so. I need at least once every two days or I get fucking crazy. Maybe after a year or so I ended up cheating because I couldn't bring myself to justify the lack of sex as a reason to break up. There were other things going on as well that lead to the break but up no reason to talk about it.

But if sex is imporant to you, it's a reason to break up. Don't sacrifice your happiness if your partner won't help you. You're partners for a reason. I wish I realized it earlier because I wouild've had the balls to break up earlier.

I have a fucking wonderful boyfriend now who can keep up with my sexual demands and other things. So no more cheating.
>>
>>16567386
I am so fucking happy I got friendzoned. Finally I can just be friends with a girl. Before every girl I got to know either hated me or wanted to fuck. These past three years have really fucked with my ability to have a normal friendship with a girl. Its fucking great!
>>
I am afraid of relationships. Yet i think it would be great to love and be loved. Sex kinda disgust me quite often but i'd feel like pussy faggot admitting it openly. I feel like shit almost everyday. I often say that i forgot to do smth but really i was just afraid or didn't care. Also my english suck balls [ :^) ]
>>
Grandma,

You'll never know how much I love you. You've meant so much to this family, and you're absolutely the most beautiful, godly, and joyful person I know. Without you, this world and this family will be a darker and less happy place. I hope and pray that whether you live another 40 years, or 40 minutes, that you will be in no pain, that you will retain a smile to the end, and that you know, without a doubt, you are so loved.

I'll meet you on that beautiful shore.

-M
>>
Ever since I started uni I've been alone.
I've recived and sent a handful of texts from and to a friend, and visited my family once, but other than that nothing. I have had no conversations at all.

I barely attend classes/lectures, pretty much only when mandatory. I do my studying from home and have made no aquanitances among my fellow students.

The psychological impact of this is really starting to become apparent to me as I find myself thinking in the same negative patterns as I did back in my years as a hikki. I honestly fear that I will revert to the person I was back then.
>>
Ah fuck you and that shitty essay portion. I bullshitted half of that damn course anyway.

I got my B, don't bother me again.
>>
All my friends are content with being no-lifers who play video games all day and never make an effort to improve themselves or their lives. I don't need their habits seeping into my life and bogging me down.
>>
I was raped by my 13year old cousin, and i occasionally dream about the event.
>>
I need help on how to deal with my emotions. I see a therapist and that's my issue. I like my therapist (just as a therapist, not a love interest or anything) She's extremely caring and engaging. No one has cared this much about me before. She'll respond to the emails I spend at 3 AM, clearly remembers all our sessions, so I know she cares. I was thinking and I realized that I'll stop seeing her someday. I'm quite sad about it. I'm fine with having a happy ending to a relationship for once, but I can already tell how sad it'll be. Is this something I should bring up to her?
>>
Had a girlfriend that I had a crush on for three years. Breaks up with me a month later over text without any real reason why. I close up as a person and avoid people, it hurt me bad. I tried to move on but couldn't. She says she wants to talk to me before class. We talk and she cries in my arms about how she felt awful and how much she really needed me in her life. Later four days to be specific, she tells me that she's a lesbian. I tell her I'm just happy for her and that I will be the most supportive person I can be.

Everything is ok for a week.

She starts to tell others and then a friend gets the vibe and has a good idea that she is a lesbian. I accidentally confirm and realized that I fucked up.

Two days ago I get texts from her asking me if I told that friend about her secret. I tell her the truth, and she is angry. I tell her I'm sorry and now I've lost my best friend, because I fucked up.

I'm sorry
>>
>>16571087

She'll probably get over it. It's likely she planned on telling that friend anyway.
>>
the girl i'm with right now is perfect for me and she obviously cares a lot about me, but i can't resist playing the game and trying to get other girls to like me. i live for the chase and once i reach the "goal" i'm never satisfied.
>>
>>16567993
If she allowed herself to get pumped and dumped then it is her fault. This was simply out of your control, you must let it go and move on with life. Use this situation as a lesson for yourself.
>>
My girlfriend has recently gotten into "furries" she likes wearing cat ears and cat tails when we go out, and will refuse to have sex unless she's in some kind of freaky animal outfit, not a full on bodysuit, just...makeup and fake teeth and stuff

How do I tell her this shit is fucking weird as fuck and turns me off?
>>
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>>16568702
>>
I sometimes get the feeling of mass rage and just feel like walking down the mainstreeet with automatic weapons and just absolutely mowing down motherfuckers...... only because i imagen what it would look like and what would be said in a 3rd person perspective. :)
>>
I had a baby 4 months ago. Since then the amazing relationship between my husband and I has gone to shit. I spend all day with just the baby and he ignores me when he gets home. The baby frustrates him to no end he hates doing anything with me. The majority of the time it's just me and the baby. I've tried talking to him about it which results in him crying and telling me to just leave him because he's such a shitty father. I tell him we'll work through it and it never happens. He also complains that my lack of a sex drive is pissing him off. It pisses me off too but shit, sex still hurts. Plus I have a baby on my boob almost 24/7 and the last thing I want is to be touched when the baby finally gets off of me for the night. I honestly feel like I'm falling out of love with my husband and I'm starting to resent him.
>>
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Part of me still wants me to get a call or a message from you saying we both fucked up.

This morning I went down the memory because I was about to send you a a HBDay and remembered all those previous BDdays together, those were nice days and it showed me that we were there for each other. I wanted to send it, but knowing you, you probably have my number on your blacklist.

It hasn't been that long since we were friends, I still want to go back to those days where we were up till 3 am busting our asses off.

Happy Birthday A.
If you ever want to be friends again, you know how to find me.
>>
My wife had two affairs.

I was divorcing her but I decided to reconcile after she got help with her bizarre behavior. Since getting back together she's been putting on weight and cut back the sex. Very angry about this and my eyes have been wondering.

I've been talking with this chick on facebook and she's interested in being fuck buddies.

I think I'm going to fuck the shit out of this other chick for awhile for revenge and then dump my good for nothing wife for good.
>>
>>16571399
A real man would have dumped her first.
>>
>>16571337
holy shit this is why i dont want kids
>>
>>16568876
Man, i know this exact feeling. All of My meaningful relationships and friendships moved away and now I'm the only one right now. i can't seem to talk or to relate with anybody because of some mild depression, i believe.
I had to drink every night just do i can sleep at last 4 ti 5 hours a night. Shit took a huge toll on my body as well as my mindset. Earlier this fall, i made the conscious effort to give up alcohol for good (at last until I'm old OLD) and I'm just over one month sober. Physically, I'm improving, mentally i still feel stuck in the same routine but at least i don't have anymore hangovers/guilts. How are things for you?
>>
>>16571282
>imagen
>>
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>>16571450
>>
I'm really fucking over obese people on public transport. They either take up too much room standing, block off the aisle way with their blubber sitting/spill into your seat or they walk so fucking slowly that people speeding up from the other direction take all the seats and you miss a seat after a long day of working because they're fat
>>
>>16571078
Yes you should tell her, she has heard it all before and she was trained to act accordingly.
>>
>>16571115
You just do it. If she's comfortable with this kind of fetish and you're not that's a very valid reason to break up with her
>>
>>16571337
Caro?
>>
I've got no friends. Like I know a few acquaintances who seem ok but honestly I'm pretty(very) isolated and antisocial.

I likely did permanent damage to myself from huffing and eating random pills when I was young.

I'm usually happy though. I know my potential and It's hard for others to own up to themselves so I know when I speak others believe less in themselves or even feel guilty. The sane ones don't.

Life is pretty fucking interesting, I've read way too much online about all the random stuff out there. I'm twenty four but I feel like I'm more well adapted than most adults and peers. To reality that is.

Reading, raw foods, sex, romance, yoga(!), ohhhhhh man do I ever want to grow up.
>>
>>16568064

Is the reason your life is going nowhere her, or you?
>>
>>16568598
Initials?
>>
>>16571666
KND.
>>
>>16570835
This is lovely
>>
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I met a girl who is pretty much my dream girl. She likes games, she actually has good taste in vidya, she's funny, she makes me laugh, she laughs at my dumb jokes, she's single, she's cute. I'm too scared to ask her out because I know I'm not a looker and I don't want to ruin our friendship and make things weird. But at the same time I want more, and I can't stop thinking about her.

this is me btw. feel free to fuck my shit up
>>
>>16571686
Don't sell yourself short. You look fine bruv
>>
>>16571514

In relation to this, I fucking hate manspreaders on subways. People who are blatantly taking up 3 seats for no reason, and then some have the audacity to give me a dirty look when I say excuse me and try to sit down. Also, people who lean against the pole. its not only your pole, idiot.
>>
everyone here is a stupid faggot with no real problems
>muh gurlfrond
>muh buyfrond
>muh nunuthinfrond

get over yourselves you have no real problems, no major illnesses and you're probably mostly still young enough to unfuck yourself
before you've painted yourself into a corner

suck my dicky
>>
One year ago, I had my tits cut open to remove lumps that had been there for 4+ years. Yesterday my boyfriend found a lump. I'm so scared and angry
>>
>>16571337

I would say the fact that he is crying and admitting he is a shitty father is a sign that he knows what he's doing is wrong, and its a LOT better than someone who would tell you to fuck off and deny that he has done anything wrong. I obviously don't know you or your husband but the fact that he obviously feels guilt over his treatment of you makes me feel like this could be solved with couples' therapy. Also don't feel weird, because this sort of thing is really, really common when you have a kid for the first time. Best of luck, anon.
>>
>>16571699
>>16571701

the juxtaposition of these posts is quite wonderful. isn't the universe a funny thing

>>16571701

I hope things work out anon. At least you found it earlier this time.
>>
>>16571711
shut up hippie

just cause fatties bf used his magic wand to find a lump using semen and olive oil doesn't make you any less of a faggot
>>
>>16571737

I hope that this venting is alleviating some pain in your life anon. If you're stuck, try to get a different perspective on your problem. It can be surprising how overwhelming a situation can feel when you're facing it alone.

Hopefully we will meet again in happier times.
>>
I hope you don't hate me for being weak. I'm sorry.
>>
So upon my life getting better, I get a newer car thanks to the generosity of my parents (it's not brand new, but a decent condition one) a bunch of shit happens to me.

Some asshole on a motorcycle got pissed off at me because I couldn't see him in my blindspot and decided to slap my passenger side mirror off of my new car, which cost me $30 since I figured it would be easier than pressing charges and dealing with court fees. Also, the police would've had to get the guy to admit he inflicted the damage upon my car, which is unlikely.

Then, tonight, someone stole my older car that I was going to give to my boyfriend to fix up and use so we would finally have two vehicles after years of sharing that shitty one. With that, I could've taken a better job offer that is considerably farther away and not have to worry about taking him to work.

I filed the police report for the stolen car, but it's really just a shit situation. I'm not sure why people do the things they do. It was literally a clunker, the tires were completely bald, and the engine is about to shit out on it. At most they would get $300 for scrapping it.

I'm at a loss right now. I just finally started to get over my bad habits due to my anxiety and depression, and now they're coming back at full force. I'll try to stay optimistic, though. At least no harm came to me or my loved ones.
>>
>>16568941
Initials?
>>
>>16571711
Thanks f.am. it didn't go undetected, though - it was just hard finding a doctor that actually gave a shit desu
>>
>>16571666
>>16571671
that person is not me
last name starts with t and she'd never be on here
>>
School's going to shit, lonely, depressed for 8 years. What the fuck is wrong with my life?
>>
She died. You should keep yourself strong. The need you. Cry all you want right now, but don't make this define your life. I'll turn this into something positive, that's how you always been. Do it for them.
>>
I have a job interview in a couple days and I haven't spoken to someone outside of my immediate family in months. Needlessly to say, I'm pretty nervous about how this will go because this can impact how broke or not I'll be in the future.
>>
I suppose that was my answer, then.

Goodbye, /adv/.
>>
Wish we could just sit down and talk. Ending it in silence is cowardly. I'm not mad at you, just very disappointed. You ran and hid when things were going so well. Why do you push people that care about you away when things are going well? Are you afraid? We all are.

I though you were better than this. Guess I was wrong.
>>
>>16567386
I know the little Jew who wrote the Bible. Her Initial is J.
>>
>>16571701
Please dont' worry hon. The breast cancer nazis want to get paid to remove every lump. Mammograms DON'T WORK. Lumps are normal! They come and go and even if they stay they are usually NOT cancerous.
>>
>>16571686
Oh, you're cute. Would hit.
>>
I want to get my gf pregnant but I know we're both not ready for a kid.

we love each other, we're great together, and I want her to be the mother of my children.

everyone says we shouldn't be together, but I know she's the one.

I'm just afraid that everything will change if she gets pregnant then I won't want to be with her anymore.

I want a child so bad, I just dont want anything to change like I've seen happen to all my friends who have kids..
>>
>>16571686
Get some chap stick, your lips are so dry
pluck your brow, get rid of the extra hair.
manscape a little, shave your neck, trim your beard.
and get a hair cut or put a little something in your hair.

then youll be a solid 7.5/10 and she'll fall to her knees for you.

you're a good looking guy, there's just a few things you could to improve you physical appearance.
>>
>>16572493
initial?
>>
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I have been in AA for a year (i had a year on monday) and i tell everyone its god (or a higher power) thats kept me sober this long when it wasn't, it was me because god is not real. Ive tried prayer and feel nothing after. Its like i know there is no god.

I still lie a lot but not nearly as much as i used to
>>
>>16572485
Maybe one day in a few years.
>>
I wonder if I'm just a stepping stone for him to find someone better, or if he really does want us to be together. There's no rush, but I hope he does what will make him the happiest. He seems really happy when he does stuff with his ex after a long time of not doing anything together, and a lot of people are incredibly fond of him. But I also know we spend a lot of time together. Right now there's a distance between us which doesn't exist between him and his ex. There's no rush, I just want him to do what he really wants. Whether it's us or not in the future. Nothing will change how I feel either way.
>>
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>>16567386
I finally did it, /adv/. I came clean about my feelings to this girl, after months of putting up with a friendship filled with uncertainty and neglect. I got it off my chest, and now I know where we stand.

Turns out we stand in a pretty shitty place. Also, the romance and chemistry we once had was a delusion on my end. Our dates were just friend dates, and I was so nervous that I completely sperged out on my confession and showed her my unstable side. But at least I have my certainty.

Now I just hope she can still accept my friendship and I can lose these feelings...
>>
>>16572862
Have you discussed this with her?
Maybe her falling pregnant would force you and her to be "ready for it".
I've friends who have been bad for each other, due to circumstances, but have then had a child, and have turned their lives around for the better.
Have you discussed marriage with her? Does she know your viewpoint on all of this?
Why do you think you won't want to be with her if she falls pregnant?
>>
I live in Baltimore and I'm getting really tired of the looming Chimpouts every time some meth dealing wife beater catches a bullet.

Fuck BLM "protesters" If you actually gave a shit about "black lives" you'd have been protesting all the 14 years old's blowing eachother's brains out years ago.

Fuck your fashionable outrage. Fuck you Cuck Sanders bumper stickers, fuck your facebook posts. Fuck your blue hair, fuck your glasses, fuck you token black guy, fuck your converse shoes, fuck your iphones and fuck your signs.

Fuck your vanity project.
>>
>>16567386
i am not content with my current girlfriend
>>
>>16573509
Don't listen to this. You don't just give a child back if you don't want it. That's goibg to be yours for the next 18 years at least. You better think long and hard. Get one of those fake babies that simulates real and try that first.
>>
Why don't people understand that I like being alone? I'm not sad. I'm not disturbed (as far as I know). I just don't care much for the company of other people. I do't dislike people, I carry on with them just fine, but I would just rather be by myself.
>>
>girl friend is all over me, blows up my phone and is all giddy towards me
>she meets this other guy who she's around much more often (no personal reason), and now is all over him, blows up his phone and is all giddy towards him
>I get nothing but short responses anymore
I want my fun back. All of this is platonic, but I want my fun back.
>>
>>16573548
I think that's exactly what they meant; that having a child is life changing, and that you should be preparer for whatever outcome there is.

If you both love each other and are willing to commit, I don't see a problem, because your child's wellbeing will be your first priority.
>>
>>16572862
What changed after your friends had kids?
>>
Teacher called me out for having a pretentious writing style on my last paper
Rather a refreshing change of pace to be honest
>>
>>16567386
Do you feel more connected to your mom or dad? Is it your dad? Because you look a lot like your mom even if you don't realise it...anons.
>>
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I'm hopelessly in love with my coworker and close friend of 5 years.

Both of us are chefs in the same restaurant. I can't stop smiling just from talking to him. Although most of us work well together, we're on another level. The owner calls us the Dream Team because we work together so well. One of our employees once said that the way we work together when the kitchen is busy goes so well it looks like we're waltzing. Talking with him is so easy and effortless, everything from dirty jokes to deep conversation flow like water. Being with him doesn't make me nervous, it puts me at ease. It feels like how things are supposed to be. We have so much in common, especially the important things like sense of humor, morals, and long-term life goals. We spend time together outside of work and it's never forced or awkward. At parties we're always the last two people there/awake, talking and laughing and playing Mario Kart together. It's amazing...there's no one I've ever felt such a connection with, even my best friend since 4th grade doesn't click with me quite like he does.

In the last few months I guess I kind of realized I don't just see him as a close friend. I've always thought he was attractive, but someone at work made a joke about us making a good couple and it was like being punched in the gut. I realized that the way I felt around him wasn't normal, or typical. I value his company more than anything and want to stay friends, but I don't know if I'll ever stop wanting more from him. Every time he places his hand on my lower back to keep me still while passing by me with a hot pan or the like, my whole body goes numb from wanting more. I want him to wrap his arm all the way around me and put his face into the crook of my neck and stay that way for a while. I hate that, I wish I didn't want it, I hate how inappropriate my feelings for him are. I hate that I can't cross that line.

He's had the same girlfriend for all 5 years.

It's tearing me apart.
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I've been eating cheese pizza since I was old enough to chew it. I was introduced to cheese at an early age, maybe 8 or 9, by my older sister. It made me curious, and I discovered something really unhealthy. It stuck with me through high shool, went away for a bit as I started to get a life in college, and came back when I ended up failing. Now it's been years, I don't remember the last time I had a non-cheesey pizza, I'm 24 and alone. I hope I can stay away this time.
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I'm probably not getting that scholarship for Tokyo uni I worked so hard for. But since it's not certain yet, I don't want to hope. I'd rather be depressed for the next 2 months, than hold hope and get hit in the face. Why did I ever want one in the first place? It's only making me sad.
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Fucking social bullshit is so goddamn tiring at times. I accidentally spoiled Star Wars for a friend, thanks to the spoilers on 4chan. personally, I don't give a fuck, and kind of gave up on getting upset over spoilers. Especially after getting into GoT, which gets spoiled all the time. For fuck's sake, G.R.R. Martin spoiled that shit by writing the actual books years ago. I knew about the Red Wedding before someone even thought about making it a show, and I didn't even read them. I knew it was coming, I knew it as soon as I saw it, and it didn't lessen my enjoyment/shock. And THEN I read the goddamn books, and I still enjoyed the goddamn books.

But I get it. Spoiling sucks because people do it to be shit against you. 4chan gave me a thick skin for that, and my friends generally aren't pussies, either. But the thing is, I didn't do it to be a dick. I was just talking about shit I saw. I mentioned I'd seen spoilers, and nobody said they didn't want anything spoiled or that they wanted to see the movie. This was on voice chat, BTW, so I didn't have any body language to go by, and I couldn't see who was in the chat. So then another guy asks "what was it?", and I'm doing something else, still everyone keeps quiet, there's a silence in the conversation, so without thinking about it I mention what it was.

And THEN people pipe up, and the guy who asked me starts stoking the fires of the resulting bitchfest. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate that I did it, and I fucking hate that people care so goddamn much. It's a movie. Just a goddamn movie, and probably a bad one, at that. Fuck this idea that Star Wars is somehow sacred. And I didn't do it to be a dick, I did it because I slipped up. Loose lips sink ships. Well, too fucking bad.
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I recently found out my work will cover up to six sessions of therapy for me. I found someone today and applied for it but im still hesitant. Im afraid that somehow itll sink me further down the hole im in. Im afraid to be officially stamped alcoholic or crazy. Im afraid that itll be six sessions of just me talking and no real help. Im afaid ill become dependant on it but i cant afford more. Im just scared.
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>>16574049
At least it will let you know where you're at. Free shit is free shit, I say take it.
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>>16567386
I hate the world, prolly because I hate myself.
But also because its a fucking retarded backwater of a civilization we live in.
I hate myself for being less than I aught to be, also because i'm currently distracting myself by playing games. When I know that I have to get up do stuff wether its brush my teeth, take a walk, hit the gym or talk to my friends. I just can't do it right now and I don't really even know why. I have an inkling but I dont want to think about it and the reason for that is ridiculous. thanks anyway made me think a little.
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>>16568922
Update: she admitted it. She still thinks about having sex with him and she keeps updated on his instagram. She misses him in some ways.

I told her she could call him and meet up if she wanted. She said she's positive they would have sex if they did.

So she went and was honest and blunt. Exactly what I asked for. Yet why do I feel so sad now?

This is where I'll have to be strong. Pull myself together and take it like a man. I'd rather deal with reality than live in a bubble. I'm willing to be challenged.

And boy, does she challenge me.

Anyway. I told my girlfriend she could fuck him again.

If she was willing to let me fuck another girl as well.

This was a sacrifice she was not willing to make though.

So she decided not to meet up with him. Because she could't accept the thought of me doing the same to her.

How do I move on from this? Is it really that hard? Is this situation really so unique - or is it only unique that we speak openly about these desires of ours? When I think about it, it really isn't that weird that she'd fuck another guy. Of course she would. It's up to me to keep her interested that she'll just not take action.

The best defence I have is my preparation: I will let you fuck him. But I will fuck other women as well, if you do.

Women are like dogs. Have to keep it simple to make them understand.
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>>16574049
Do it anyway, even it's only six sessions, it's better than nothing. You're definitely way more likely to sink lower if you don't get professional help.
It really is worth it.
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I have no idea what I want to go to college for anymore. I'm 25 and that's way too fucking old. Never even finished my associates.
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>>16574136
Same man. I've fucked up college three times now and my academic record is so fucking bad I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm 24.
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I made a thread just before that I know my bf will see but I don't want him to say anything about it until we're actually in person.
Mainly because my anxiety is so bad, but I just don't want him to hate me or think badly/differently about me, or be mad.
Now I'm even more anxious kek
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I'm literally so embarrassed to even think I was with you for those years. It's a disgrace to me. you keep acting like you were the one who "made me", like okay. Lol, I've been doing what I've been doing before you. I'm not the one who jumped on every hype and said ridiculous shit like "I'm starting a band or business" and not put much more effort into that. Also, the same for your clothing, always jumped on every trend. You looked disgusting. Nothing fit you. Your knock knees made me want to puke. You were always broke. You tried to understand what I was into but could never grasp it because you're too fucking stupid to really get it. I actually never regret cheating on you multiple times with the person you thought was your friend. I actually liked him more than you! So keep asking about how I am, you look dumb and pathetic. I stopped caring about us the second I started growing up. Really I just stuck around the last year or so because of our friend group. They were so fun to hang out with, and out of those years we were "together" they are what I miss the most!
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>>16574152
Yeah for the last 2 semesters I did like 3 years ago I got all F's. Not blaming my clinical depression for it but I'm sure it helped...
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>>16567386
She's perfect. I every way I see her as compatible, a match, a perfect fit. She's everything I've wanted in a woman and I want her in my life.

But I know I'm idealizing her. I know she has her flaws, just like the rest did. I know I'll ignore them and keep pretending she's perfect when I know something will go wrong, probably because I'll screw something up somewhere down the line.

That's the kicker, though. I know I'm the one who's going to screw something up, whether it be because I'm not enough for her, or because I'm so terrible at being there for someone I end up being boring enough to leave. But that's just in my nature, being hesitant about every goddamn decision. I can't even bring myself to ask her out because I fear rejection and despise unrequited love.

I just want to know how she feels without coming off as a creep or being pushy. I want to know if I actually have a shot with her or if I'm just deluding myself, like I have before.
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>>16567565
I've always wanted to fuck my gf asleep. So no its just a fetish.
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>>16574214
My bf wakes me up with sex a lot, I normally wake up after he has his dick inside me. But last week he fucked me and I stayed asleep.
I woke up with cum dripping out of me and he told me (he wasn't even going to tell me but then thought he should). No idea how I stayed asleep the entire time, but fuck it was hot, I fucking love it.
I just wish I'd stay asleep more often because it's such a turn on desu.
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>>16573402
You do not believe life, or death, could end our story, completely?

All of this time already lost to us...
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>>16574442
You're going to have to tell this story now, anon.
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I want you to know I really like you blondie, you too brunie, and that it might seem that all I care about is sex. I really like you and want to know more about you. I really do. But you arouse me (you don't have to do much for it) almost automatically and I just think about sex all the time as a result. I hope that's you want, because that's what it would be.
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I'm feeling depressed since yesterday, it happens every once in a while, and it feels worse every time it happens, I've never talked to any professionals about this since I don't want my family to have another jackass with mental issues, I've tried hanging out with friends but that just makes it worse.
What makes me sad right now is realizing that my friends probably know this already, they just don't give a fuck.
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>>16572868
This x100
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>>16573962
Lmao you poor bint, that sod friendzoned you so hard. Doesn't look like you have any chances, mate
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>>16574214
I don't know if it's so much of a fetish. More just a fantasy I have.
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>>16574450
Tomorrow, at least part. I am exhausted, and do not want to bring on her memory.

It may help, actually, but I am hesitant.
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I hope this time apart fixes whatever the fuck is wrong with you. I'm not even upset that you cheated on me anymore, because I can tell you're genuinely sorry and that it wasn't something planned or done on purpose. You've turned me into a pathetic shell of a person, I've never felt this awful in my life. I love you so much and you claim the same, I don't understand why things have to be like this.
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tl;dr incoming because I need to get this off of my chest. Just a warning that some of it sounds edgy too.

>Recently turned 23
>College dropout, can't go back to school due to time, motivation and finances
>Have a decent job but I hate the fuck out of it
>Have a car, but have to make payments on it. Can't quit job because it's the most money I'll make as a college dropout
>Live with parents and step sister with two kids, she also has a job too but her situation is that her shitty husband can't find a job because he got busted for drugs in the distant past
>Kicked out of my room so that she and her kids have the bigger room
>Feel trapped because of dead end job and having to pay off this car loan
>Had an accident back in July that regretfully didn't kill me
>Think about death and suicide a lot. Have been thinking this way since elementary school
>Never told anyone about it. Just constantly think about killing myself or dying some how
>Like fantasize if I had a terminal illness or in an accident that left me a vegetable, I would get euthanasia in a heartbeat
>Constantly think about not minding if I died today.
>Not really motivated to kill myself. Overdosing has a chance of me being saved, driving into oncoming traffic would be a detriment to the family and also harm other people. I'm too fat to hang myself and don't want to do it around children.
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>>16574756
Cont.
>Room not the cleanest, but not a total shithole. worst is that I leave clothes on the floor and bed unmade a lot
>Step mom threatened to kick me out or throw all my shit out and force me to "start over" if I don't clean it like she wants it right after I got off from my job
>Something in me snaps
>Lock myself in my room for most of the night after the conversation, don't talk to anyone after that
>Decided about an hour ago to drive around, thinking about killing myself right now
>Nah, an accident in my car would be detrimental, already got t boned(not on purpose, someone drove into me) and it would just put debt in my dad's life
>I know, I should take the steps to buy a gun and blow my brains out.

I should start taking the next step soon. So what's the best kind of gun to kill yourself with? Existence is honestly getting painful for me. I have a job, I have friends, I have a dad at least that loves me. I pay bills at the house I'm staying at and even contributed a microwave, furniture and a vacuum when they needed it, but I feel like nothing is going to get better for me.

I would pursue getting a girlfriend but I'm a fatass lesbian that can't talk to girls and even if I get past those two obstacles, I don't want to tie myself to this earth anymore than I need to... The only way for me to cope with sadness or constantly wanting to kill myself is to either eat or play video games.
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>>16574696
Initials?
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>>16574756
BA
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I have this great habit of sabotaging things that make me happy, mainly my relationships with friends and senpai, and especially with my bf.

I just made a very very stupid mistake and now I don't know what to do. I'm more confused than I've been in weeks, and I'm still hurting so fucking much from last week.

I'm lost and stuck at the same time. I'm just waiting for everything to come crashing down, any minute now.

And then I'll be abandoned all over again, probably for good.

I'm worthless and unlovable and I don't deserve anything.

I'm fucking terrified. Even more so than I was last week, which doesn't even fucking make sense given what happened.

I want to die. I legitimately want to die. I can't handle this. I just fucking can't.

I'm nothing.
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>>16574891
meant for >>16574888
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>>16574691
I wanna hear your story also.
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I wish his penis didn't smell like shrimps.
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>>16574917
>forgot f a m is senpai on /adv/
>did not mean senpai
>kek
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People think ive gotten over my self harm, but what they dont know is that every day is a constant struggle not to cut, and every day I feel myself falling more and more towards that abyss.
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>>16575045
Let me give you a hug anon. I believe in you. All will be well.
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>>16575068
I could definitely use a hug. :(
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I've been depressed for a better part of 8+ years now. I have this friend that I like and don't know if I should tell her or not, what do you anons think? Should I go for it even if I have the potential to lose a friend?
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>>16575080
Whatever happens, remember that there are always people who genuinely care about you. If it doesn't seem the case, there will be. It gets better.
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I'm done. Thanks for the good times 4chan.
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>>16567386
It's 3:35AM over here, thinking about how much I miss my ex, all of our plans together, I get chills, I gently pat myself all over my body as if she was touching me, talk to her even though she's not with me, been crying for some time now
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Feeling a little lonely, and I guess a little lost in my life. Shit is not good with the fiance because I'm a shitty person and really enjoy bangin' people who aren't my fiance. I mean I really do love her, but I will do anything I think I can get away with. Don't have any excuses, just saying its what I do.

Anyways, nervous about seeing her tomorrow to discuss what we're gonna do. If we can fix shit or not. I'd love to fix this shit, but if she doesn't want to or can't then thats life, and I'll move on however I can, most likely with the assistance of some whiskey and guns.

The Christmas season kind of has me down, because I won't be able to spend time with her. Bummer, I guess. Still I'm determined not to let it crush my holiday spirit, though it'll be a little difficult.
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>>16575091
Go for it, if you don't, it may end up being a supremely missed opportunity. Better to do it and fuck it all up than not do it and hate yourself for being a vagoo.
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>>16575348
I think this is what I'll be doing tomorrow too, talking with my partner about some heavy topics that I (and them) need to work through.
Not all of it was their fault, but the past week has changed me and I'm finding it very difficult to deal with life and its constant drama.

I hope things work out for you. I hope you don't cheat on your fiance anymore mainly, that's low and you need to realize it. Good luck to you, anon.
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1- I don't want a job. I want to be a house wife/ someday house mom.
2- Me and my brother used to be best friends, but then he got rich and is an ass to everyone. He purposely interferes with mine and my husbands life (getting into our own house, promotions, etc) I can officially say my brother is a fucking cunt.
Also he skipped our grandmother's funeral to go kayaking.
WHATADICK.
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My husband abuses me and no one knows. Everyone LOVES him including my dad who has never even considered liking someone I've been with.
I would leave, but he has threatened to make me dissapear if I ever tell anyone. He is friends with the entire police force, and it's not just limited to the cops in our city.
Also, I just tried meatball hotpockets for the first time today, and they are fucking delicious.
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I just stepped outside, and despite it being almost Christmas, it's warm. I could have stepped out with just my shirt on, and it wouldn't have been a problem.

This shit worries me, yet I'm powerless to do anything. But at the same time I consider it absolutely futile to follow my training, to look for work, and to just get on with life while ignoring this shit. But if I do want to do something, what is there? The choices are either crackpots who don't give a fuck or don't even think climate change is real, or crackpots who think they'll solve the problem by getting back at the first crackpots. Either way, both care more about immigration. So it's either crazy conservatives, or smelly hippies. Not much of a choice.
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>>16575469
How does he abuse you? If you have dual bank accounts start working now on establishing your own and withdrawing half, taking control of your own finances. If it comes to it, be prepared to move out and not tell him or anyone who knows him where you've gone.

Before that you should definitely try informing family, friends, and talking to a counsellor. If it's really serious and not some woman shit like "he won't listen to me bitch for hours," you've got to not be afraid of talking to people. Otherwise you're powerless.

It's not embarrassing, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. You're fixing a problem. There's an issue, and there's a solution.
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I'm going to see my cousins again in a little over a week. I can't wait!
I need to come up with something to give them as a Christmas present.
For me, being able to just see them again is in itself, a Christmas present.
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Just horny af and choosy af
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Yesterday i realized my classmates were kind of ignoring me and im 90% sure B's bf has a lot to do with this.and for a few hours i felt sad and hurt,but what the fuck...i shouldnt feel hurt or humilliated because after all,this guy is 27 y/o,still at college because his previous degree is fucking useless,dating a 20 y/o because he has the mentality of a 18 y/o and refuses to grow up.hes reeks of insecurity.and oh my god,i noticed that he has something to do with this because he drops passive agressive stuff about things i said to his gf (which is also our classmate).
thank god the semester is over and next year i only share 3 out of 8 classes with B.
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My boyfriend is possessive as fuck. We had an argument because I joined a kik guild group he was part of (we're in the same guild on a game). He's forcing me to push my friends away because they've injured his pride. He has so many friends, all of them girls and I can't have anyone.
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>>16568825
initials?
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I think I like that girl but it might be just a crush. I just think that she's so pretty. It all scares me because she's in my course classes. And tge stupidiest thing is that I barely talked to her. Something in my mind tells me to just go. You can do it. But I don't know how to do it. I have planned to ask my friend how to do it but i'm just to afraid even to say it to her. I just dont know what to do. Not even how...i just like her so much. I like looking at her...i odnt even know what im writing anymore
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>>16575582
welcome to the realm of the conspiritards and preppers

please take your complimentary tinfoil hat and bugout bag
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>>16567529
HOW? Are you retarded or something?
Your body would give you hundreds of red flags before you drink enough water to put yourself in the hospital.
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I'm homeless no job no family, my friends are so far up their own ass with their silly shit they cannot help me if I asked. I barely have clothes and am weak. I lost all my muscle because I wasn't able to feed myself proper and I have the on paper education of a 9th grader. I know I've fucked up in life severely and it's my fault. I refuse to steal even though I'm poor and own barely anything.

I really have no idea how to get out of this right now. The cool thing is it's been warm here in florida so I haven't had to face that brutal hardship yet.

Because of where my setup is I either have to walk or bike to a potential workplace but by the time I get there I'm covered in sweat and it's an instant turn off.

I'm such a fucking idiot.
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>>16575852
Just go earlier so the sweat will dry
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I was isolated my entire life, and never received any kind of education. As a result I am terrified of people and never learned how to function like a normal person/socialize/generally do anything. I'm essentially a 21 year old toddler.
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>>16575861

I'd still smell man. I'm broke I cant invest into what I need to be able to pull it off. Sounds retarded but it takes money to make money one way or the other. I dont even know why i posted. Maybe to light a fire under my ass but if I cannot even do that I'll never be anything.

Stuck.
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>>16567386
I'm starting to really hate my best friend.


We used to be really close, in a big group until it dwindled down to a few of us. me and him hang around a lot, but lately I feel like he makes no fucking effort whatsoever.

Whenever I try to talk about something he doesn't want to talk about he either just ignores me completely or gives some half ass answer then sits there with a moody face on him.

Even just simple things like me asking when he wants to hang out, he will just ignore me forever until he can be bothered. I try my hardest with him and I still like hanging around with him but what do I do when he makes no effort and acts like a depressing bitch?
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>>16575879

I isolated myself and hurt my education so I understand you. Find ways to boost your ego and confidance and roll with who you are. You may be strange to people at first, Try something, anything to pop your bubble. Learn from the past plan for the future while enjoying yourself. A positive attitude does more than alot of drugs.

You got this shit brother.
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>>16575885
Man that really sucks...if you could,you shoild take another set of clothes just to change. Then you wouldnt smell that bad...my suggestion is that you should try to be creative. I may sound like a normie or somethinf but creativity helps when it comes to solutions. You gotta stand up and fight,man.
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>>16575889

Tell him if you two are ever going to get married he has to respect your needs.

Yes a joke but you can bridge off it. I know if I hang out with my friends more than I hang out with myself we end up not liking eachother very much even if we love eachother like brothers.
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I can't stand the struggle anymore. I want to quit.
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>>16575898

You sound like me. My issue right now is I have lost my will and I can't seem to get it back, I'm numb almost and it wont change. I'm nothing I should be but I'm also not a little bitch but I'm acting like one for allowing myself to be in this situation. Also I have a fear of being hit by a car since the highway I have to travel down for miles is famous for being a death trap for walkers/bikers. Hell a cop on his cell phone almost ran me over when I was in the grass less than a week ago.

You're right bro I have to fight. Thank you.
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>>16575901
That's the thing we probably hang out twice a week, maybe three times sometimes.

But he literally wants to do nothing. We sit there fucking staring at the wall because most of the time talking is too much hastle for him, I mean I'm cool with just relaxing and chilling with him but he makes it feel like a drag.

I feel like he can't be arsed with me, I'd rather he just come out and say it. He's up and down all the time, one minute he's fine and willing to have fun the next he's just somewhere else like I'm not even there.
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>>16567386
I really like this girl but she's not at all interested in me, we used to date and everything was well but I'm honestly not comfortable with her, still I don't have anyone else and I'm afraid to lose her, regardless the ugly truth that she doesn't want me.
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>>16575911
Use your creativity,as I said...avoid that highway. Use google maps. Whichever device you're using now to post must have acess to google maps. Just see the paths you could take to walk to where you want to go then just go there by bike. You should just get of the computer and go read some books. That will help you have something to care for,motivate you and it's free. It will have a fantastic impact on getting your shit together. Read novels,history books,philosofy books. Any shit you like.
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My boss told me i can't start my education at work next year. My son is behaving worse in kindergarden every day. Now he gets teste for aspergers. My dermatologist told me i can't do anything else to get rid of my acne and keratosis. I'm on my period. I got my hair cut and it sucks. My bf is offline since yesterday. Fml
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>>16575640
Please stop. Realize the issue and be a fucking adult.
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>>16575939
Stop what?
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>>16575948
Whatever you have going on with your cousin infatuation.
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>>16575954
mad cause anon didn't have a good relationship with their family
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>>16575926

Oh bummer um I think the kid would behave better if you gave him supplements. fishoil and such. His body is missing something that's all.
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>>16575960
I have no idea about aspergers. I'll first have to get some infos. Eh, he eats fish once a week... I dunno. He's pretty healthy otherwise.
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>>16575582
This, so much this.
I wish we could use actual science to solve this problem but research is bought and sold.
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>>16575954
So I can't be happy about seeing my cousins again?
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>>16568015
Dear lord, initials to and from please.
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I know a lot of people who can't take a joke. Your lives must be tough.
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>>16575640
Cousinlover strikes again
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I'm poor as fuck this year, but I really want to get my boyfriend something for Christmas. He didn't get me anything last year, so I guess I have a free pass if I don't buy anything, but I love giving gifts. The issue is that I can't think of anything he'd want that I can afford. I want to buy him a Monster Hunter figure, but they're way too expensive. I might just buy some materials for his cosplay, but I can't imagine anyone would be excited to get wood filler or expanding foam on Christmas morning.

I was kind of his low-quality sugar mama for the last couple of years, and I am having trouble with the role reversal.
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Want to join IS
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I have to throw out a big plastic jar of cold spaghetti sauce. Do I pour the whole thing down the sink and then rinse it out or can I get away with just tossing the big thing in the trash?
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>>16576157
the person I made this out to already spoke me to about it, sorry :P
>>
If I want to be happy I'll hang out with those that make me feel happy. If I'm alone I'll do things that make me happy. I'll that that positivite energy to create positive relationships and eventually create a life.

If I want to be angry I'll be angry but I won't attack you. I'll use it to fuel my ambitions, it will motivate me. I have energy to compete with my own limits.

If I want to be sad then I'll reflect and be sad with others. I won't judge you but I'll use that energy to heal. I'll use it to create something out of your struggle. Something to release your pain and anguish.

If I wanted to die I would just do nothing, say nothing, feel nothing. No pain, no more right, no more wrong, no joy, just black silence.

Enjoy your lives, it's short.
>>
I am sick and fucking tired.
Oh god I'm so fucking tired of this crap I'm in right now.
Every day is the same bullshit, I was calm, I seemed happy, but now I just can't.
I can't sit still in my classes, I get angry and cry. I fucking hate this.
I FUCKING HATE THIS.

Let me be.
Let me be alone.
Let me stay alone.
I want to be with myself and leave your bullshit away from me.
Just for a day.
I understand, those problems are mine as well, but please, let me be alone for a day.
>>
I don't love these hoes
>>
i don't want to enjoy my life, I have nothing to enjoy. I enjoy others misery instead. Maybe that's why people avoid me but fuck them.
>>
>>16575640
We all know what you want to give them.

Please, stop.
>>
I made it almost two weeks, getting up early and running. The last three days I've barely gotten out of bed. Oh well, back to being a failure.
>>
>>16575885
You are defeatist, ignorant, and lazy.

Are you aware how many organizations exist whose sole purpose is helping the homeless? Many of these organizations will help with temporary housing, job searches, etc... more so, for those willing to help themselves.

So, get off 4chan for a short while, practice your Google Fu, and better your life.

Hell, tell me where you, just the city, and I will help you, and I have no doubt a few others here may.
>>
Not sure if i should fap or just keep abstaining another week.

I get depressed from not fapping, or maybe im just too depressed to fap.
>>
I have an overinflated sense of ego brought upon me by my bullying ways in high school. Now that it doesn't work and most have moved on to better their lives I just feel like shit. I'm bored when I'm off work and talk shit behind a keyboard.

That's life mang
>>
Hey that's why some millionaires become millionaires, it's because they had dickwad friends to rub their success in at the end.
>>
I don't care if I'm a bully, I eat nerds even if I'm 40, I'll shake my stick at you when I'm 50 and I'll be posting about that friend that got away till I'm 60.

The salt is real.
>>
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Hey /adv/,

I feel like I've been in a rut for most of my adult life.
>ruminating about childhood sexual abuse and failed relationships, lost friends
>uni dropout
>in a shitty high schoolesque general arts program at college
>social anxiety, depression
>angry, violent alcoholic

I don't think I have the willpower to pull myself out of this. I've been thinking of going to the doc to get anti-depressants or something, I am almost failing tasks that are easy and missing out on life because of avoidance and procrastination. I've just been wasting my life in front of the computer for as long as I can remember. Don't know what to do.
>>
I'll be salty all day, using my day to ruin your day, in my mind I'll make you pay, but no one in my life really wants to stay. I'm just sick and tired but angry you all live your days.
>>
That's not nice, bullies are just social autists. Leave bullies alone senpai.
>>
>>16576604
You're actually qutite.. phatetic.
>>
>>16576650
All you’ll ever be is a faded memory of a bully.
Make another joke while they hang another rope, so lonely.
Push him to the dirt, until the words don’t hurt
Can you hear me?
No ones gonna cry on the very day you die, you're a bully.
>>
I have no other way but be negative about how I view others. How can someone have freedom of choice? I can't comprehend this. Technically bullying should be legal, it's how I was raised and how everyone should be raised too. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. That's life, deal.
>>
My gf of nearly a year is a slut. She's a great person, attractive, etc. But Nothing I do hasn't already been done to her by some Chad. She's had bigger and smaller dicks, dudes that are shorter and taller. I'm supposed to be her bf but I can't shake the feeling that I'm just another guy among many. Nothing feels special and it makes me feel like shit about myself.
>>
I posted a lyric because as a female I can't come up with a single unique thought that already hasn't been thought about by man.

Wink wink sarcasm.
>>
I've been watching porn while I have a girlfriend. We've been dating for two years and I'm staying to really love her. Not the puppy dog stuff but the love that keeps me with her after we fight. Knowing that even if we had a bad fight we would push through it just to make our relationship stronger. So I feel like shit thinking about other women.
>>
10 years of life wasted doing nothibg and counting. Worst part is i was aware of it for the whole time...
>>
>>16576710
Sex and masturbating are different kinds of satisfaction. People need both. Shit is normal dude, so chill
>>
>>16576710
So stop? Lol it's not that hard. Sex and performance gets way better
>>
if I don't get a gf soon enough I'll abduct some qt and keep her as my slave. I'll be gentle though

>inb4 edgy
STFU
>>
Ok, i need to get this whole story off my chest.

A few months back, me, my "best" friend lets call him "Ben", the girl i liked or "Jill" and my best friend's girlfriend or "Amy" and a few others were hanging out. The group that we where in was sorta recovering from an earlier incident from about a week or 2 before that. Ben starts acting a bit flirty with Jill, i thought nothing of it but it seemed like Amy took it to heart. because Amy and Jill live near where i live, we started walking together just us 3 and there was nothing but silence before getting to Jills house, i knew something was up with Amy so i said whats up. Now Amy supposedly has a mental disorder and we have had to deal with this in the past... anyway, she said that they have came back (she said that they have been gone for a month or so) so me being a good friend helped her out, walked her home etc. now a couple of weeks pass and Ben starts flirting with another girl "Paige" which one of my friends "Jack" likes. Paige sees right through him and plays him on, getting Ben to confess to liking her, now at this point Amy and Ben are in a bad place, so i suggest a weeks break from each other, they go along with it. (I ask Ben about the Paige thing and he denies it... even to this day) Amy texts me to see how hes doing and that but i sorta rage about Ben to her and she starts saying stuff about him which makes me think that Ben is an absolute cunt, stuff like "He only seem interested in me when he wants sex" so i sorta hated Ben at this point, btw what she said was over Skype, which is kinda important. Me and Amy go out the next day to rant, she says more stuff to me about him... but also about me like "its a shame really because you, me and Ben where sorta like a Threesome (which wouldn't happen btw)" then a day later, Ben asks for me to text Amy to meet up with her, next thing you know is that they are back together with Amy saying "he's treating me like we where on our first date" to be cont...
>>
>>16576795
So a week passes and Ben pisses me off with saying that "at least i have a girlfriend/ i'm not a virgin" so i, probably the worst decision of my life, decide that i would go on full text rage to Amy saying how much i hate Ben and "why are trusting him? He used you" and a lot of really bad shit so the back stabbing bitch Amy screenshots the texts and send them straight Ben's way, so after this i am almost completely disclosed from the group (friends still talked to me but not in the group) for a month or two, even after talking to Ben he completely made a fool out of me and I really dont want to talk to him anymore.

So yea, please fucking tell me what the fuck happened
>>
>tfw finally got a better job and can be financially independent

Thanks for all the encouragement and words of advice over the past few months /adv/, i'm sure none of you know who I am but every ounce of advice you all have given me has helped me fight through to this point. It's not the BEST job but it has so much opportunity and I already know I can win over the CEO and fight for a promotion in no time

now I just need to wait for my background check to go through then I'm fucking set the anticipation is fucking staggering
>>
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>>16576795
>>16576802
what is it with 'bens'?
>>
>>16576824
haha, it just popped into my head, not actual name
>>
I have nothing to live for but anger, it's all I have. All the people I cling onto either left or just use me. I've had autism for all my life and I'm in my mid twenties now. I think people care about my rage but I'm just scared to be picked on myself. I have to join in with the bullies.

I secretly envy those lucky enough to live how they want because I can't and never will. It made realize I'm trapped and I'd rather be mad than realize this.
>>
Try being autistic in your mid thirties then complain.
>>
I'm finding it really hard to get out of bed (sometimes I would sleep the whole day off) and eating (sometimes not eating for a day and a half). I'm not really happy with the way things are right now in my life though I know it could be much worse. Is this depression or I'm a pussy?
>>
All I do is sit at home, doing nothing but be a pussy, talk shit online and be a faggot. Sometimes I go outside to smoke cigs and drink then it dawns on me that I'm a pussy and a faggot.
>>
>>16576759
That's what I've always thought. For some reason though I feel bad for not telling her.
>>
I spent my whole life gang banging and now I just gang bang here on 4chan. I'm in my mid thirties now and shit isn't getting any better. All I have are these threads to get attention otherwise I'll be back in bed with my crippling depression and paranoia. I'm almost just 100lbs because of this, I'm a little angry at everything. Sorry for being such a piece of shit before I get killed by this.
>>
I feel like every time I try to fit into society I just end up making a damn fool of myself.

I think I'll retreat into my room and play Metal Gear Solid until I'm due back at work. Real life ain't for me.
>>
It's kinda fucked how much I miss you already.

I crave intimacy more than anything else I guess
>>
Everyday is a struggle for me, I think I'm winning but I'm just being conditioned to be a Pavlovian dog. To act on response. Why didn't anyone tell me my old friend is actually doing great!?
>>
>>16575353

Thanks. I'm going to do it tomorrow. Just thinking of what I should say.
>>
I don't mind being a Pavlovian dog, my business requires me to sniff ass and talk in farts.
>>
I'm sorry about bringing up all this depression talk, truth is I just want my friend back but I'm an asshole so it's too late. Might as well be an asshole for life.
>>
Why want your friend back if they cut you off? You're probably in deep shit mentally or financially that's why you're clinging on. Worse you were at fault and are blame shifting. What a faggot.
>>
>>16576562
Yeah, and what would that be?
>>
>>16576695
Any female that has been with near ten people is not going to be worth it in a serious relationship. Casual sex and an inability to emotionally connect have been scientifically proven, search for yourself. Tons of issues in general.

Any female that has a number closer to twenty people has to be removed from your life. They are incredibly insecure, disloyal, self-centered, and will run from a relationship when problems happen, your problems or obstacles not hers, she would stay for your help if she has problems. These women will never keep, and will never have a man truly love them. Even if they did they would chase him away.

Barely touching on this but I think you get the picture.

With a number around thirty don't even try. You shouldn't bother when she has a number near twenty, seriously.

Good luck. It sucks but that is how women are these days. Anal?
>>
>"Anal virginity for a woman is more treasured that vaginal virginity nowadays."

This is literally knee deep in faggot shit, I knew hyper religious girls who won't have vaginal intercourse but would put it in their mouth and ass to preserve their hymen. Some of them even have an ass roastie. I wouldn't know, I worked in the medical field and seen enough ruptured colons in my time. Pretty funny.
>>
>>16576802
You went on a virgin rampage and acted like a woman. That and tried to cock block a friend. And did it in a way in which proof was readily available.

You are stupid, when it comes down to it. Seriously.
>>
Never looked up the term mental midget but now that I did I think I'm a mental midget too. Fuck
>>
>>16577225
stop playing dumb
>>
>>16577316
Thanks for the reply. This is kinda how I've been feeling. I've invested all this time and energy into this woman... Someone to whom I'm just another dude. I don't know if I should just break it off now or just continue on this ride.
>>
You are such an ungrateful cunt. Instead of saying thank you for the money, you complain that it's not enough? You can go fuck yourself in hell. I don't want to play your retarded games anymore.
>>
>>16577424
No easy answer and you're going to end up hurt any way. I'm sorry man.
>>
>>16575913
Why tf are you even still with him then? He's treating you like shit and not even allowing you to simply talk to other people, ONLINE and in a group chat that he's in.

Him not talking to you while you're with him could be that he's bored, but it sounds doubtful.

Leave him, you deserve someone who will actually make an effort and treat you better.
>>
My mental happy place is a fantasy where my older brother gets taken hostage, the abductors ask for a ransom, and I imply state over the phone to them, that "I do not condone what they are doing, and do not pay ransoms" with a big ol' smile on my face.

Not even bein' edgy, but younger brothers don't forget shit. If that ever happens, I hope they send me an ear just to be sure that I "got the message".
>>
>>16577424
wait has she treated you poorly though?
>>
Sorry for saying that about my older brother, I don't want to go to jail again. I take it back.

J
>>
>>16577583
No not at all.
>>
>>16576936
Are you me?
>>
Sometimes I wish I had mouth cancer from smoking these cigs. Maybe then my older brother wouldn't have left me alone in the dark. I'm so sad and mad. I think I'm bipolar and need treatment fast. I don't want to be a faggot pussy anymore,
>>
>>16577583
This doesn't matter, as they are unrelated.
>>
>>16577623
are you an idiot??
if she's good to you then why question it? How old are you??
>>
>>16577740
Because of the aforementioned reasons listed by both me and another anon.
>>
>>16572862
I want my partner to get me pregnant, our situations are very similar actually.

We've discussed it and both know we're not exactly "ready" for a child. We both have serious mental health issues, however I think if I did fall pregnant, it would sure as hell be one hell of a motivator to get our lives on track. It would bring us closer and make our relationship stronger too, in my opinion anyway.

He would love to have kids, but I'm afraid I won't be able to have any. Only time can tell, I suppose.
>>
>>16577880
I think that if the relationship is good then her past doesn't have an effect on it. I just don't think it's a very good reason to write her off like that.
>>
>>16577976
if anything, kids makes the relationship fall apart. Kids are a pain in the ass, don't be dumb.
>>
I have so many regrets and I don't know if I can live with them anymore.

I have to better myself, but honestly, I've never wanted to die more in my life.
>>
>>16578001
Thanks for your input anon. I don't want to write it off but literally everything about me had been done before. And it's not just sexual stuff...We met at uni and she's even been with a guy from my home town (a small charming town). So even when I bring her home it's nothing new for her. I know it's kind of egotistical or whatever but it makes me feel so dejected. Nothing about me is special to her in any way. She just decided to settle down after getting sick of the party life and figured I was good enough... That's the only way I can see it. It just kills me
>>
>>16578007
I feel you man.
>>
El saber que me fue como las weas en la psu y no haber cumplido mi sueño no me deja dormir tranquilo
>>
>>16578106
You aren't wrong.

That is why it is so depressing.

Who wants to be the consolation prize?
>>
>>16578175
it fucking sucks dude.

I don't want to kill myself but at this point in time I definitely don't want to be alive.
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