I Can't Stop Thinking About BDSM

You're 18. Look for an escort! Idk if backpage is legit or not, but i have seriously thought about this at one time or another, me being in your position (minus wanting to do the bdsm thing)

>>16558781
Backpage is legit but most cc companies and banks don't make payments to them any more.

>>16558781
ehhhh, don't really have the money for it. Good idea though

The stuff you find online might just burn you out, I know how deep that rabbit hole goes and you haven't even begun to go down it. You wont be able to bring it up to someone IRL unless you are first in a real relationship, by which point you'll be close to someone who suits you and used to sharing anyway.

>>16558898
So just chill out and wait til I'm in a relationship is what you're saying?

As far as fetishes are concerned, bondage is pretty easy to get into. A lot of people are into the idea of light bondage, especially with things like 50 Shades becoming super popular. I wouldn't worry too much about the stigma, as long as it's something you ease into and don't just dump all over everyone you meet.

There's some stuff you can also do to experiment by yourself. For example, there's a particular shibari tie that you can do to yourself. You can also experiment with restraining yourself but BE CAREFUL, keep one hand free and always make sure you have a foolproof way out. Velcro can be your best friend here. You can try using toys for stimulation while you keep your body restrained.

>>16559119
Well, the issue with that is the fact that I live with my parents. I could order gears or toys or whatever but, whenever I get a package, everyone in the fucking house bugs me and keep asking "what did you order anon?!" and the last thing i need is someone getting too nosy and finding that I ordered a ballgag or something. Then, there's actually doing the whole self bondage thing. I live in a small house so if I tie myself up, i'm bound to make some noise then someone will get curious and burst in to my room (and I don't have a fucking lock on my door cause of my parents). That's not a bad idea though.

>>16558770
As a girl, this sounds hot af.
Live your dreams as a bottom OP.
You're a senior, so go to an urban or more liberal college or uni and find yourself a dom.

>sign up on fetlife
>find a local munch
>meet some people
>?????
>realize you've made a horrible mistake

>>16558781
So I just checked my local backpage's fetish section out of curiosity and it's nothing but disgusting, 40 something fatties. Nope

>>16559942
Yeah, that sounds like a decent idea. I live in a rural area at the moment and around here, being into bondage or S&M at all is seen as weird let alone being a male bottom. I'm only about 30 minutes away from a pretty liberal city where all of that is seen as normal (I went to a pride parade there and saw lots of kinksters) though so I was planning on moving out there after graduating anyways.

>>16558781
How legal are escorts? Thats basically prostitution, no?

>>16560279
Escorts are like more legal prostitutes but the laws vary from country to country. I live in Canada so escorts and prostitutes are completely legal.

Look dude, you're really young don't worry about that yet. There's a lot of people into fetishes you'll be surprised. My brother's friend used to always try sucking and licking my feet & toes, every time he spent the night. He was kinda enamored with me for years. There's also not wrong with being 18 and not having experience at that age. I was almost 18 myself my first time. And you have the rest of your life to explore the of bdsm.. It might be a really good idea to go to college if you plan to in a bigger city/town or a college near a big city. Just find your chill and you'll find someone you likes you for you, whether it's a guy or a gal..

>>16559929
Do it at night, lmao

>>16561703
my family is fucking nocturnal. I have no clue when anyone is going to be awake or asleep

>>16558770
>Okay, so this is going to be a real fucking weird thing to bring up
no it's not
>I've known that I've always really wanted to do bondage (I think I'm a sub but I'm just some stupid kid so I'm probably talking out of my ass)
same for me, I'm starting to develop my dominant side though.
>Like, it's all the fucking time now even after I wank.
sounds familiar
>I'm a complete virgin and have never been a real relationship before.
me at age 21
> i'm just really shy but even if I could get a girlfriend or boyfriend, I seriously doubt I could ever bring that idea up to them.
I've been trough that as well, desu I've fallen in love for the first time for real only recently with this girl who's also into bdsm (we both switch). Now I feel like part of the reason why I could never make anything last with other girls is that i could never be entirely open and connected to them like I am with this girl.

Too bad you can only
>go to a fetish subculture irl event or internet place
>go for the normal route and hope you somehow win the lotery
>live a fake life where you repress deep feels and can never honestly connect with someone.

I've tried option 3, it sucked, option one resulted in a great experience where i felt understood by someone but it wouldn't work out for other reasons. DESU it kinda sucks meeting people in "the scene" because as with any other subculture/community you'll only meet people who've taken the choice to actively search in the scene as well, which is "a certain kind of people"
I ended up winning option 2 more or less. I found her on tinder (I have a preference for "different" looking girls so that may have helped) I mentioned I was writing a song about masochism and that's how we opened up about the topic. we hit it off on ALL other levels as well so i guess this is just a lotery thing.
anyways you can only win by playing. I guess visiting events would still be one of the best options. I also red you can enter kink preference on OKcupid

cont. from>>16562317
>especially if you're a guy like me who wants to be the bottom.
I know that feel, I could easilly tell my friends about my dom side, but only hinting at subbiness would always ensue laughter or "wtf dude"
then again you don't carry out the stuff with your friends so they don't need to know.
also sumissive womyn is completely accepted and such with the shades of gray books.

>I'm pretty sure doing it would do the trick but I know just doing that with anyone (especially with stupid teenagers my own age) is just an awful, awful idea. What should I do?
I'd reccomend searching for events, "munches" or such in your area, try fetlife.
That's the easyest way into bdsm, love+bdsm is still as hard there but getting tied up by a friendly lady or chatting with people who understand you (on internet or over a beer) is definetly a possibility.
>WARNING!!
Be extremely cautious when dating and such! a nice young boy willing to be tied up is pretty much the easyest prey possible for weirdos. especially since unlike a normal date, you wouldn't be telling anybody!
meet in a public place (could be an event!) and allways inform at least someone where you're going.

If you're not in a hurry to experience bdsm and search a gf who's into bdsm then probably okcupid would be the way.

>>16562317
>this girl who's also into bdsm (we both switch)
oh fuck i'd kill for that

> Now I feel like part of the reason why I could never make anything last with other girls is that i could never be entirely open and connected to them like I am with this girl.
Yeah, I kinda feel the same way too now that you mention it, Even if I wasn't shy, there's nobody I know that I can say i'd really be able to get a connection with.

>just a lotery thing
I guess I'll just play it then

>I also red you can enter kink preference on OKcupid
ohhhhhhh, that could make things easier

>>16562341
>I could easilly tell my friends about my dom side, but only hinting at subbiness would always ensue laughter or "wtf dude"
Yeah, the stereotype that men need to be the dominant and that women always have to be submissive is pretty annoying.

>you don't carry out the stuff with your friends so they don't need to know.
great point

>I'd reccomend searching for events, "munches" or such in your area, try fetlife.
That would probably get me somewhere. There's a city about 30 minutes away from my town (halifax if anyone's wondering) and I heard there's a pretty active kink community.

>a nice young boy willing to be tied up is pretty much the easyest prey possible for weirdos
I actually didn't think about that

Thanks a lot for the advice dude

>>16559946
I guess I could try that.

>>16564192
i'd say both

Fetlife.com

Be safe

>>16558770
Google "S&M for beginners" or the like. You'll find links to sites that will give you a lot of info to help you work out your thinking. (For example, you might conclude that you are indeed a sub, but what are your preferences and limits?)

Some of those sites are run by clubs or have contact pages, so you might be able to use them to hook up with someone.

If you are in or near a big city, google "S&M clubs Chicago" or the like. There might be meetings, events or meet-ups.

>>16564749
and by that, I mean I would be satisfied with any bdsm relationship regardless of whether or not the other person was into light or hard shit. I would need to start with light shit anyways

>>16558770
>>16564827
Well I don't know if this will be any help but here's my advice, I'm into lighter bondage myself (just simple tie & gag shit) and back when I first began to fap I could only do so to my fetish, and it kinda fucked my brain and I never found myself fapping to normal, non-fetish stuff, so after a while I kinda lost interest because I seen everything in terms of my fetish , so I eased my way into normal porn, and now I've found a healthy balance between normal stuff and my fetish, and it helps a lot.
In terms of self-bondage, if you can find the time when nobody will bother you it can be really fun, so I highly recommend it.
And don't be afraid of the stigma, if you do find a girlfriend who you would like to do Bondage with, ease it onto them.Like someone said earlier Bondage is becoming more and more of a common thing recently, I personally was able to tell my best friend about my fetish and they were very supportive of it, so don't be afraid to be yourself.

Hope you were able to get something out of this. Good Luck anon!

Just sayin'

1: Don't use silk neckties in lieu of rope it can cut off circulation, which can cut off your parts.

2: Don't ever use fucking chloroform. Don't listen to the fucking internet when they tell you it is not dangerous.

3: Don't agree to meet someone you don't know for a hookup. Get to know them first, let them tie you up or lure you into a den of wolves second.

4: Always use a safeword, no exceptions.

5: Always use stuff that was made for the purpose. Don't pretend you're MacGuyver and build your own device - with ZERO experience beforehand - which hurts people. I don't think I need to explain what happens when some clueless dipshit handcrafts his own leather whip then tries it out.

>>16565706
6: If you in a club, don't bug anybody who looks like they're doing something. If you want to chat someone up then do it with somebody who looks bored instead of busy.

>>16565687
>when I first began to fap I could only do so to my fetish
> I never found myself fapping to normal, non-fetish stuff
Well, that sounds exactly like me. I never masturbated to anything non bondage in the 5 years i've been doing it. I could try exposing myself to more vanilla shit.

>Hope you were able to get something out of this. Good Luck anon
Thanks a lot for the advice. I really appreciate it

hate to this again but i'm getting a lot of great advice soooo... bump

>>16566847
I'm gonna bump this too because it's a really good thread.

>>16565997
>>16567267
And if OP is still around I'll stick around the thread I u have anymore questions or anything

I know exactly where you are coming from except I'm a female. I'm too shy to bring this shit up to anyone else, especially because I'm into some more freakier shit. I've only been in one relationship, (not because I'm ugly, just can't find anyone that appeals to personality-wise) and yeah, idk. Guess you just have to wait for the right person to come along.

>>16567281
i'm not sure what the right questions to ask are

>>16568315
thanks though

>>16567324
Well, good luck to you. I'm sure you'll find someone you can connect with eventually.

>>16567324
guess what. he's unlikely to just come along!
Actively searching for "the one"is not generally deemed effective either. I guess meeting people, hinting on it sooner rather than later and such is key. also, people who are in the scene will get subtle hints and sort of into that. Though many guys will pretend to be kinky as it sounds like a ticket to lots of sex for them.

I found I just gravitated to other people into that sort of thing. I'm a Dom and people have told me they could tell just by being around me so there was probably some self selection involved in my companions.

>>16568315
Just if there's anything else you need advice about I guess, it's just refreshing to be able to talk with someone who shares my "intrests", if that makes sense. But as I said earlier I'll keep an eye on the thread until it dies if you have any other thoughts my friend.

Nah it's really not abnormal, especially within the gay community. It's not really something you'll want to bring up with your buddies, but within the context of your sex life, nobody's really going to judge you. It's not very gross or extreme as far as kinks go.

Just browse the ads on any gay dating/hookup site, you'll see several people a lot weirder than you who don't have any shame in asking for it.

>>16569295
>it's just refreshing to be able to talk with someone who shares my "intrests", if that makes sense

Oh that totally makes sense. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this so I'm sort of just forced to keep it as a secret. It makes me feel pretty good actually getting my feelings about the subject out there.

>>16569295
Actually, I guess I'll ask this since I just remembered that this happened and I might as well ask.

>grade 11
>about a year ago
>nobody knows about my fetish
>hang out with this weird alternative girl after exams this one day
>has like a romana flowers vibe but a lot more up beat
>she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before this
>we were talking and whatever about relationships
>out of nowhere she says "You know what sucks, guys are to gingerly. Like I asked my boyfriend to tie me up when we were together and he couldn't even do it right. This happens with guys all the time whenever I ask them"

Does that like mean something or am I thinking too much into it? There was no real build up to it. No one was talking about bondage and she didn't know I was into it. I was really surprised to hear that so I just sort of muttered "that sucks" and that was it. She never showed any interest in me ever and even said that we were just friends before but then why would she just bring that up out of nowhere? It's not like I really knew her very well when it happened. I'm thinking too deep into this aren't I?

>>16569309
>not very gross or extreme as far as kinks go

Yeah, I need to get myself out of that mindset. When I found out I was into this stuff, I was honestly disgusted with myself and felt extreme amounts of guilt over it. I've come a bit to terms with it but I always get the feeling from time to time that if people found out, I would be labeled a freak or something

>>16570773

Well, if you go around in your day-to-day social life telling everybody what you do in the bedroom, then yeah people might get weirded out. But normal people do all kinds of freaky shit behind closed doors. It's part of growing up. You're gonna be fine dude.

>>16570366

>I'm thinking too deep into this aren't I?

Yup. Not everyone has ulterior motives and hidden meanings behind the things they say, not everyone finds it embarrassing to talk about sex. I think she just said it because she was thinking it.

>>16570802
Alright, that's what I though. just wanted to be sure since I'm kind of a beta. Thanks.

>>16570780
Well I wouldn't be telling everyone I saw. Hell, I hate bringing up the fact I'm bisexual cause it makes me feel like I'm being too open about my sexuality. I'm just saying it would be nice not to feel bad or guilty about something that doesn't hurt anyone.

>It's part of growing up. You're gonna be fine dude.
I hope so. Thanks

>>16571004
I can relate.
I am bisexual and very few people know (just my parents and an ex, I think). I am also into quite a lot of kinks and way, way more intense stuff than what I read in this thread.
But I am perfectly fine. I can control my urges, I can have a perfectly normal, even vanilla sex life. I am well adjusted, currently studying at a top university towards both a law and mathematics degree and unless I tell you any of this, you wouldn't be able to guess.
So really, you'll be fine. There's a lot worse things going on behind the surface of nice and orderly people.

>>16571004

You don't really need to make a thing out of "coming out" to people. Personally, my policy is basically that I'll answer questions honestly, and I'll talk about my sex life if it comes up naturally in conversation and I feel comfortable with the people around me. But I don't really feel the need anymore to tell people "hey, just so you know, I'm gay," I don't really start conversations about my sexuality with friends/acquaintances/coworkers. You don't really need to tell people you're bi unless you feel like it.

I know this stuff feels awkward when you're figuring it all out, but as you get older you'll find that it just isn't really a thing in most of your social interactions. There are some people I work with that I talk to regularly, we're friendly, but I honestly don't even know if they know I'm gay because it's just never come up.

And as for your sex life - I mean, some people are prudes, and very easily offended, but they're pretty boring and should usually be avoided anyway. Most people wouldn't bat an eye if you told them you wanted to be tied up and talked dirty or whatever. You might get a polite "no," but it's not exactly shocking, we've all got Internet connections.

Man, this is crazy!

A couple of days ago somebody made a thread claiming they were addicted to BDSM at 16, and today an 18-year-old made the same thread! What a coincidence!

>>16571693
I wouldn't say I'm necessarily addicted to it. It's just something I've been thinking a lot about it lately.

>>16570366
She's quite clearly one of us. That obviously doesn't immediately make her interested in you as a fellow kinkster. how did you react? did you comfort her? tell her how there's plenty of guys into that, yourself included?
you could've at least had someone to open up to...

>>16571046
> I can have a perfectly normal, even vanilla sex life.
it doesn't sound healthy to repress your feelings if it's really deep into you. like that's the kinda stuff that makes married men meet in parking lots...

>>16571004
to whom do you bring it up then? potential mates? friends?

>>16571693
multiple treads on something that about 10% of the people is into WHOAHHH conspiracy!!!

>>16572019
>you could've at least had someone to open up to...

I was honestly too shy to open up about it. I didn't even know how to react to it since I had no idea people were that open about it.

to whom do you bring it up then? potential mates? friends?

My family and close friends know I'm bi

>>16571054
Yeah, there's no real reason for people to know I'm bi. I honest to god hate it how so many girls will bring up that they're bi at the high school I go to since it's pretty much always done for attention (plus, it reminds me of the double standard in my town that it's perfectly okay for girls to like girls but it's disgusting for guys to like guys)

Oh and good point. I just need to stop being so self conscious about my fetishes. It's also because I've only ever lived in a rural town my whole life so the idea that this kind of stuff is just normal to people in other areas is foreign to me. I'll get out of that mindset though, hopefully.