[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

I've been dating a lovely girl for two years. She's

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 25
Thread images: 2

I've been dating a lovely girl for two years. She's loyal, cooks, qt, fun, traditionally feminine, has good work ethic, is pretty moderate in terms of politics like me, and she's fun.

Lately discussion of our future has come up. Particularly that of children. I can't see a fulfilled future for myself without children and she never wants to have kids. I really love kids and I know it's corny but my dream has always been to live simple life of a family man. I never wanted luxury cars or boats or mansions.

All I ever wanted was a modest house in the country where I can grow vegetables and raise some kids to be strong and good people. My dream is to be a father. The subject had come up in short spurts in the past and she was always at least slightly open to the idea of one kid. Now she seems pretty set on living a childless life. I respect that, but I don't know if that's a life I'd find myself happy to live 20 or so years down the road.

Is it time to break off what is otherwise a great relationship?
>>
You're a faggot Op
>>
Don't have kids
>>
>>16546066
This is well written word porn right here, very juicy, but I'm out. Let's be honest: this place is kinda gay.
On your post some advice would be: stop worrying about this shit. Bitches lose their ability after 43=45+ to have kids. You can impregnate bitches till your dead. Guy in India got a child @90 years of age. Yes, 90. Stop being so hasty. Enjoy life for what it's worth once. Happy now? No? Too bad.
>>
up to you op. if she doesnt want to give you kids and u want kids then my advice is to either wait or go away. confront her about it. again. keep pushing until you get a solid 100% answer. if shes slightly open to it maybe she will crack
>>
>20 or so years down the road.

negro pls
>>
>>16546079
Impregnate her and make sure she doesn't get an abortion. Much like women who entrap men by getting pregnant on purpose and then keeping the child. It can be done. Good luck OP.
>>
>>16546066

admit that your relationship has no future because of the no kids issue, but if you like her and want to keep dating, say that too. say we can just date until we reach that breaking point cuz you'd rather just enjoy whatever time you can with her while you can.

that being said, stop glamorizing fatherhood.
>>
How old are you guys? How near in your future did you picture yourself with kids?

Breaking up over a different in wants/dreams is perfectly valid--especially when it's about something as pivotal as having kids--so really now, the question becomes how realistically pressing that issue is (if you're 19, probably not as big a deal as if you were 29 or 39) and how serious this relationship is.

It's not fair for either of you to be trapped in a relationship that will inevitability lead to one of you feeling unfulfilled, but it could also be premature to end a relationship if you're not anywhere near ready in your life to have that be a pressing concern.

If you do feel it's that important to you, and that you are in a point in your life where you want to seriously start thinking about kids, it's probably prudent to end things now amicably on a good note.
>>
Just be open about wanting kids.

It's entirely possible a person changes their mind. On the other hand, it's entirely possible that the two of you split up and the whole world finds out that the reason for the breakup was because you wanted kids and she didn't. Suddenly, all the single women who want kids find out you want kids. Put on your sober goggles, and find one who isn't a druggie or golddigger or socjus.
>>
>>16546088
But my life isn't an anime

>>16546097
No I realize it can be shit. My best friend's life plan was basically shat all over because he had a kid. That was mostly because that kid wasn't in the game plan. Even when I see him dealing with all the bullshit, I still want it.

I suppose that's pretty level headed. Thanks

>>16546108
I'm 26, she's 21. I'm just becoming stable and starting to make decent money while her career is just kind of taking root, so I understand where she's coming from.

I don't really date unless I see marriage potential. Perhaps a more pressing formal discussion with her is in order? I think I see what you're saying.
>>
Your relationship will not work out. One of you will have to compromise and will always be unhappy. Would you rather have a child with a potentially neglectful/resentful mother or find someone who wants to be a mother to the children you desire? Neither of you are wrong, but it's wrong to expect the other to change their mind or compromise because you're too afraid of facing a breakup.

So, so, so many women out there actually want to have children and would be happy to build the life you want, OP. You shouldn't try to change your gf's mind or position and should instead break things off and find someone whose life goals align more with yours.
>>
>>16546118

>i suppose thats pretty level headed

no. its not.
>>
>>16546118
>But my life isn't an anime

This is so off base.
>>
>>16546118
21 is way too young to think about kids. You'd have to give her like 5 more years to make up her mind or find someone else who isn't basically fresh out of college
>>
>>16546088

Holy shit you are one scary person,.. like wtf....
>>
>>16546118
>I'm 26, she's 21.
This is why they say that dating someone with a significant age gap is a bad idea. The two of you are at different places in your life, and this is leading to the two of you having different opinions about kids. Not only that, but 21 is pretty young to be thinking about having kids, especially if she's as ambitious as you say she is. Her immediate future involves her career, not being tied up at home, and you need to respect that. Have you talked to her about whether she'd be open to having kids when you're older? If you want kids within the next five years, you're probably better off with someone else though.
>>
>>16546088
How does one make sure a woman doesn't get an abortion?
>>
>>16546118

I'm the anon that asked you about your ages and what your plans were and;

>>16546172
>>16546206

Pretty much are my exact response

You seem like you've reasoned most of this out by now. Talk with her about it, don't pressure her. because it's hard to think too far ahead in life--especially when you're young and coming from a completely different mentality. Like you yourself admitted, she's at an age where it makes sense for her to not think of kids, where as you're at one where all your feeds are probably blowing up with engagements, wedding invitations, and baby photos.

Assess how immediately and how badly you want this to happen, and decide if the immediacy and necessity outweighs your willingness to stick around on the long shot either of you might feel different in the future.

Bottom line, if you feel like you're on a clock, it's probably time to get out.
>>
>>16546097

>glamorizing fatherwood

sorry womxn if men aspire to be fathers

it's not like raising children is one of the most strongest instincts that control every aspect of our life and ignoring it or repressing it is some sign of mental issues... oh wait lol
>>
>>16546209

it's impossible. she'll punch herself in the stomach until she shits the fetus

Womxn exist, friend.
>>
File: 1340448391463.jpg (33KB, 500x333px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1340448391463.jpg
33KB, 500x333px
I am a 26y-o guy too and my aspirations are similar to yours, though kids are a little more optional to me. I'm gonna tell you to stick with her if she's as great as you claim. Fuck knows I would.
That's because a lot has happened to my view on having kids only very recently. Until 1-2 years ago I was staunchly against it and couldn't imagine wanting children down the line. I think it comes at this age. Just wait it out, I am almost certain she will come around eventually. I wouldn't push the issue either. Subjecting her to cute babies might make that motherly instinct kick in, I dunno.

And consider some stats - the average woman's age at first birth is 26-30 in practically every first world country. So there's time. At 21, she is practically still a kid herself.
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2256rank.html

I don't mean to stress you out, but it's worth considering that even though women may be fertile well into their forties I think it's irresponsible to have a kid at such an old age.
The risk of chromosomal abnormalities (basically, downs) skyrockets in the woman's mid 30's and while I haven't read anything more than this wiki article, I'd personally theorize that that graph represents more congenital ailments than those strictly chromosomal.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_maternal_age#Risk_of_birth_defects

There is also a wiki page about paternal age effects but at a glance, those don't necessarily seem correlative with the father's age to me, but rather, socioeconomic conditions. Which tend to be a product of age. You'll most likely be better parents in 5-10 years, anyway. You need to balance biology with economic stability. And maturity.

So, stick with trying to get that cozy house and building your garden while you wait for her maternal instincts, friendo. If her stance remains the same at 25+, maybe consider splitting.
If it's unbearably urgent to you... idk man.
>>
>>16546108
>>16546097
>>16546206
>>16546288
only advice itt you should listen to
>>
>>16546118
Yeah if you're worried about kids I'd probably consider finding someone closer to your own age. Especially if you plan on having them relatively soon (5-10 years).

21 is too young to be worrying about that sort of thing.
>>
>>16546534

There are also risks for older men as well, keep that in mind - DNA comes from both the sperm and the egg
Thread posts: 25
Thread images: 2


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.