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general question for all comers, i'd love to hear lots of different answers--

how do you not get attached? do you have a particular method?

i ask because although i'm a confident person with my own stuff going on, i'm pretty sure i get attached quickly (friends / romantic partners / whoever) when i like a person and i worry about pushing them away because of it.
By not being a little bitch

Realising that people are not that essential to your happiness, i dont need friends to get my doctorate or get that job, friends and relatiosnhips are just a nice way to relax after work or have some fun, you cant just have the good without any bad
I didn't choose to not become attached. I think I just eventually shut it off subconsciously. Definitely not a conscious decision I would make.
I've moved a lot. That may have something to do with it.

/robot/ here.

I never get attached because I see everyone as a "normie". A lynch mob waiting to burn me at the stake (or it's modern equivilant, social alienation) the moment they find out I'm an autist in disguise.

It's all about hiding my powerlevel, wearing a mask, blending in like a damned chameleon.
I make small talk, remember names and faces, remember small details not because I care but because I need to look like I care.

I ask people how they are doing, I ask questions but never get too personal. Whenever they ask a question, I simply answer then say "And you?".

I share my cigarettes, not because I care, but because they'll keep me safe in order to ensure their supply does not run out.

Keep things polite and friendly, but distant. Never get too close, never reveal anything to close, never ask anything too close.

Speak enough not to be the "creepy quiet guy", speak so little to avoid being the "loud obnoxious guy".

When all you do is act, you won't grow attached. Because you know they don't like you for you, they like you for the character you're playin'.

Also, cliché's are underrated. There's a reason they are cliché, use them ("Don't shit where you eat" is a good example).
It's easy to not get attached when you think people are generally shit. I mean not bad people but shitty with interpersonal relationships.

>Realizing that someones decisions and feelings towards you or others is something that is completely out of your control.

Once you let that sink into your brain and truly use it, you will be 50% happier about everything and you will never come off as clingy or dependent. Ironically people not just people of the opposite sex will respect you more and like you more when you care less about what they think and what they do.

I'm not saying to become an edge lord autistic adult and act like you're Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, just in general, be a selfish bastard. Don't worry about anyone except yourself, unless you truly care about someone (I.E. family, friends), but if someone does wrong to you, immediately cut them out of your life.
I never get very attached to friends. It's been very hard for me to make other female friends because I disagree with a lot of my female friends lifestyles once we get close enough to the point they confide in me.

Like, I'm not straight-edge. I drink on occasion and I'm a smoker. I had an addiction to drugs over five years ago and I have been drug free since. But when I find out my girl friends are snorting coke constantly and cheating on their boyfriends that work their hands to the bone for them and had chlamydia three times this year. It's just like... I can't stand that kind of lack of self control. They run purely on emotion, only thinking of the immediate affect of what they do.

I can't get attached to that. I haven't met any girl any different. Whether it's drugs or not. The early-20s female appears to be neck-deep in some kind of vice. Whether it be sexually deviant, drug related, narcissism, etc. I just lose respect and trust after that.
There are women like you that think about these things?

I'm not trying to be rude, but I am truly amazed.

There's no way your a American I'm guessing.

American and Brits that I know are some of the most vapid cunts in the world from my experiences.

Or maybe it's the areas I've lived.
I am American. And I live near Los Angeles, CA where everyone is kind of a narcissistic asshole. I just experienced a lot of this negative female behavior from my mom and I went to therapy at a crucial age. From like 14-19 years old. Generally around the time when girls start getting more sexual and getting in trouble. My therapist and I just talked a lot about self control, empathy, etc. I think it saved me from making horrible decisions after I turned 18ish.
I'd recommend Buddhism op
It recognizes that attachment leads to suffering. And seeks detachment from all things.
OP here, this one makes the most sense to me so far. thanks for all the perspectives shared though, it's always really interesting to see how everybody tackles different problems.

i was unceremoniously dumped a couple of months ago and i did the whole self-actualizing thing and realized that i'm not worthless, started working harder on my goals and stuff and generally prioritizing myself, health, happiness etc.

i've been hanging out with a lot of different friends, meeting people and having a great time etc, but i'm just a little bit worried the clinginess will start coming back.

sorry 2 blog
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