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Thinking a lot about murder/suicide atm. Can tell I'm in

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Thinking a lot about murder/suicide atm. Can tell I'm in one of my fits. Tired of fucking people calling me edgy or bsing every time I come here. For real senpai post like happy shit or something.
Pic unrelated
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>>16543767

It's not worth it, man. Take a walk, you'll find something. Or something will find you. Trust me.
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>>16543772
Sitting in my car atm smoking to try and relax. These fits where I just want to hurt someone come weekly. I get tense, hard to speak, be coheriant or slow my thoughts. It feels hard to move. Fuck my life man I'm tired of this shit and having to pretend nothing's wrong.
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>>16543767
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Trying
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>>16543767
as a psychologist I'm always interested in these threads why and what would you say were your main reasons to do "it"?
also I could help you but I won't
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>>16543814
and don't leave any details
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Just do it, but go out with style.

It won't get better.
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Undirected anger is what I feel. No one specific person/event "sets me off". At random times but usually once a week I feel previously listed symptoms. From what I feel is going on, the mind has to work in like..levels/layers or something. The "me" personality is fine but something on like a lower level is fucking pissed and there's this constant war between these parts of my head. Backstory shit I guess.. I was bullied badly as a kid (boo fucking hoo right?) molested by my cousin for a year, went to the army, lost my friends, fucked up a lot, a guy helped me then turned out he only helped me for sex he wanted. Partied, spent money, drank, etc. Attempted suicide got caught yadayada. Now I can't sleep at night I'm on mizaprine and lexapro but they do fuck all, can't afford therapy. That's it without fine detail. Thanks for the help faggot.
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>>16543767
JUST DO IT
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>>16543829
it's almost never best to just do it, it's always an ulterior motive find what is bugging you and get rid off it, it's easy but none of you faggot see it.
most common reasons are:
1) not meeting up to your standards, example (I wanted to be a lawyer, your younger self would say. but everyone knows you don't get there without hard work and even when you become a lawyer you won't feel better) - best fix to this scenario is to find new goals, realize that your ambitions was for someone else your main goal is to find happiness not to please someone else.
2) social difficulties (no need for examples) reading a book or 2 will get you better - best is to practice talking to strangers AND DON'T EXPECT TO BECAME BEST FRIENDS.
3) childhood issues, you might want to make others "feel" when you die so they will know what you meant for them - realize you and you alone are responsible for your own happiness best fix is to pick up the phone and call those you love and talk to them about literally nothing (example: how was your day?)
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>>16543848
I lack direction, I realize this. All these punk ass kids shooting up schools these days and for what? At least Dylan, Eric and Cho had a message. They were powerless to change their worlds so they left messages to those who have the power to do so. Yet nothing has changed. If I were to go off the deep end like that I'd need a reasonable message, plan and money.
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>>16543842
interesting, how old are you and how many social partners do you have(friends, collages, family ; you talk to) ?
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>>16543863
I'm old enough to know it will never get better, just waiting till my parents die and then gonna go with the same opening of the family tomb.
On the meantime just trying to live the life out and stuff.
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>>16543863
I suppose your right. My "motive" is I am fed up with this hypocritical world and its people. If seemingly everyone is as evil as murderers if not worse. They don't kill you physically. They plant small annoying shit that eats away at their enemies whilst relishing in their pain. Everyone does this in some way. If anything, this is human nature and I should embrace it.
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>>16543895
so you know something about me, my parents had me when they were 40 years old and was a mean drunk, my dad was unemployed most of my childhood then suddenly something changed inside him, he started a businesses and became one of the people he always mocked, rich famous and successful. anyways my point is it's never to late
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>>16543767
why would you just throw away ur life like that? u have a car so im also assuming some sort of cash flow. cant find friends? join a rec basketball/soccer league
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>>16543883
20 y/o M
I have no friends atm and live with my parents/siblings but only talk when I have to. I have a job but hardly talk to them either.
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>>16543900
it's not human nature to make others miserable to make them selves feel better. Try to do one thing for yourself and no one but yourself. could be to start playing the piano or learning chess. It's always boring or discouraging at first but it will help after some time you will come to answer your own questions.
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>>16543905
I'm not unemployed or poor. Just realizing life isn't worth the trade off
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>>16543907
To what end? Social, family, relationship ties don't interest me. I only need to make enough to survive. I feel literally no drive for anything. Why be a full time wageslave so you could afford to have a family you would hardly see/know them? I am content on my own. Life only has meaning when we apply meaning to it, and as I see none, why continue living?
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>>16543909
start off by talking to your parents about things you want for yourself in the future(I know it sound like a bad advice but it surprisingly works).
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>>16543921
ah yes the classic lacks excitement.
google your condition, you will find 5 questions you need to answer as you answer them you will find what you need to focus on.
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>Thinking a lot about murder/suicide atm

K... Keep me posted.
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>>16543933
most likely you lack exercise
to be honest most of my advice will be minimalist I don't know each person and their problem enough to analyze them and come up with best scenario solution. the more you share the more I'm able to speculate and advice
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>>16543933
I have tried finding help before. I have been to 7 different therapists and gotten diagnosises from Aspergers to ASPD to PTSD. The mental health here in America is a fucking joke.


Would that do it?
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>>16543933
Can't a man even kill himself without being over analyzed. At least I'm considerate enough to wait till only people I could hurt are gone first.
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>>16543948
What more specifically do you want me to elaborate on?
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>>16543963
age
hight
weight
family relations
social status
relationship status
what happened to you in the past
face and body types
are most common to cause depression which leads to suicidal thoughts
anything else that might have had an effect on you
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>>16543989
HIGH NOTICE THERE ARE MENTAL DEICES THAT CAUSE SUICIDAL TENDENCIES --- ALWAYS GO TO A THERAPIST IN PERSON IF YOU CAN'T RESOLVE YOUR PROBLEM IN UNDER 8 MONTHS. therapists are specially trained to watch and monitor your mental state.
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>>16543989
20 y/o
Male
210lbs
Fine for the most part other than them not wanting me to control my own money or go out anywhere.
Virtually no irl friends as I don't really care or trust anyone
It's been 4 years since I've been with a girl, but again don't really care
All that mentioned before.
Freckled with Slavic features I guess?
Shorter but thick. Not really fat not really built. Stocky I guess?
I feel that killing might get some stress out of me. It's natural for us to kill as we have always done it and will continue to do it. Probably not a person, too much work. Maybe trap an animal and stab it. I saw a fresh deer carcass on the side of my road last week so in the middle of the night I walked to it just to stab it with that knife. It's surprisingly easy to pierce the skin all ya got to do is go between the ribs.
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>>16544004
>>16543955
>>
op-
Do you think all humans are flawed in the way you stated?
What if you killed one of the few humans who has morals and a good heart on a murderous rampage?
would you target randos and risk killing someone "good", or would you target specific people who have hurt you?
Thread posts: 33
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