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How do you know if you're asexual or just got really high

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How do you know if you're asexual or just got really high standards?
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>>16538450
"Asexuality" is a made up condition.
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And the same goes for friends. I don't know if I'm antisocial, or just have too high standards for people to spend time with.

>I want to hang out with somebody
>no not that one
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>>16538450
Do you prefer physical intimacy, or intellectual/emotional intimacy?

If you want to experience sex sometime, you're not "asexual". You want to pick the right person to experience it with.

If you don't want to experience sex/grossed out by it/afraid of it/not that important to you, you're "asexual".
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>>16538499
I want physical intimacy, I just hate sex and most people who offer it.
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>>16538520
Have you had bad experiences with sex? Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet.
But, even if the most ideal person for you offered you sex, would you accept it, or deny it?
If you deny it, and prefer kissing, hugging, cuddling over sex, I would say you're somewhat "asexual".
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>>16538542
I haven't had bad experiences with sex. I've had bad sex.

Do I get to choose when the sex happens and does he leave if it won't happen?
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>>16538548
Of course you decide when it happens. You're entitled to your own body. Don't just go with it when you're not physically turned on. It won't be fun for you.
When you get into a relationship, make sure you tell the guy your circumstances. If he stays with you despite of it, he has an interest in you that goes beyond sex. If he leaves right away, fuck him. Move on. He's not worth your time.
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>>16538570
how do I make a guy have an interest in me beyond sex?
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>>16538579
Be interesting. Or find a guy that finds your personality interesting. Are you the girl in OP pic? Because while you look too young for me, I'm generally regarded as being very attractive and having a great, if slightly subtle personality, and I happen to really like quarky / geekiness. Just keep looking, and you'll find exactly what you're looking for, just probably not in high school or college where guys are more focused on what their friends will think of their gf than what they think of their gf.
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>>16538579
You can't make someone have feelings for you, it just happens. As long as you keep looking and don't give up, you'll find that person eventually. You can try asexual forums/dating sites to start. If you want to try people near you, just keep in mind guys with a low interest in sex is hard to come by nowadays.
Also, as much as I don't want to say this cliche line, be yourself. As long as you don't overthink, learn to relax, and have confidence in yourself, you'll eventually find someone who loves you for you. If you are lacking that confidence, I suggest you try to work on it by exercising, eating healthy, pick up a new hobby, go out and learn something new, etc.
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>>16538548
If you're a woman, don't be too quick. Bad sex and great sex are a whole world apart. This goes for men as well but at least there's a good chance they have an orgasm anyway, and that the sex won't hurt.
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>>16538450
Do you fap? If you fap, you're not asexual.
>>16538477
>I want to hang out with somebody
>no not that one
Elaborate. Why not that one?
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>>16538600
I'm not her, I just found the photo funny. I can see how that'd be misleading, looking back. The girl was like 11 at the time I think.

>>16538604
I'm from a very small place, so even on a normal dating site the nearest guy to my town is over 300 miles away and I don't have a car.

I work out, eat healthy, go out, I read and paint and I'm studying french. I just wish I could like sex as much as guys do.
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>>16538613
>Why not that one?

She makes a high-pitched shriek - similar to a horse's whinny - whenever she's exited. She is very exitable. She is very vocal about being bisexual (I am not) and doesn't seem to feel a reason to ask permission before groping me.
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>>16538628
As I said before, you just haven't met the right person yet. Just keep trying, doll. You'll eventually find someone who will make you feel all sorts of things. Even if your sexual drive stays the same, that won't matter to someone who loves you for you. If not fancying sex bothers you that much, you should look into sexually stimulating pills, vibrators, etc. Maybe if you learn what your body likes, you'll like the idea of sex more, and be able to tell the guy what to do to make you feel good.
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>>16538675
I have a vibrator. I just can't get off so trying to use it is just a waste of time and batteries.
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>>16538628
>I wish I could like sex as much as guys do

You will when you find the right guy. There is someone who won't just plow you and be self-focused, but actually takes the time to warm you up and make it a sensual experience rather than a sexual one. Guys get off to the physical act, women need the sensuality. Its hard to find a sensual guy, but when you do, you'll love it.
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>>16538683
You mentioned before that you wish you could like sex as much as guys do. Is the reason more for your own satisfaction, or is it more to satisfy guys?
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>>16538695
Where do I find one?
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>>16538697
Both. If I liked sex for its own sake even if I didn't like the guy, I wouldn't have to look for a guy I liked.
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>>16538715
>If I liked sex for its own sake even if I didn't like the guy

Why would you want sex if you don't want sex?
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>>16538705
I don't know any other guys that would openly admit to being very sensualy focused, so I can really only tell you about my experiences.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21, and had been dating this girl for over a month. Ten years later, I've had a total of five sexual partners, only two were long-term relationships, both ended on good terms with lasting friendships. Both told me I was insanely good in bed, but I never thought to ask what was so much better about it. I do prefer starting by giving a back rub, going out on actual dates, and I'm a huge fan of cunnilingus, which seems to help with "warming up" pretty significantly. I also frequently turn down women that are too sexually aggressive, which may be the hardest thing to find, but is probably pretty indicative of what you're looking for.

I hope that's helps give you an idea of what to try to find in a guy. Orgasms are awesome, I think everyone should have one!
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>>16538782
So I should be looking for a guy who turns down a lot of horny girls?
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>>16538798
Well, I think that's over-simplifying it, but after three one night stands, I wouldn't do it again. Its just better with a caring, passionate lover in a strong emotional and physical bond, than it is when it's just two people trying to get off.

The problem is that so few people have actually experienced it, so no one even know to look for it.
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>>16538841
I really just don't see why a guy would prefer to work hard for something he can get for free.
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>>16538853
Because you get what you pay for, so to speak.
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>>16538863
But he is going to get off anyway?

You're paying double for the same meal on a nicer plate.
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>>16538879
Not exactly. The more foreplay there is, the more intense the orgasm is. So a long date involving a nice dinner and teasing of various sorts, followed by touching and kissing increases that sexual tension to the point that you get Hiroshima instead of a sparkler.
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>>16538907
Then why do they want to get to it as fast as possible?
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>>16538913
Because they don't know any better.

Lets say you've only ever eaten at fast food restaurants, and one day I ask you out to Beverly's on the waterfront (seriously, if you ever go to Coeur d' Alene, check it out), you'd probably think that $100/plate is a waste of money. But once you've had it, it completely changes the way you look at food. Its just that good.
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>>16538474
whoa cool drawing dude. It's kind of creepy, did you draw that just now?
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>>16538939
I've had cheap wine and fancy wine. I can't tell the difference. I buy the cheap wine because it's cheap.

I don't know how to be any better than that.
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>>16538964
I can. Cheap wine always leaves me feeling slightly sick, with finer wines I feel relaxed but still clear. Kind of like with sex. Cheap sluts leave me feeling slightly sick...
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>>16538985
I don't know how to be any better than that.
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>>16539005
Is this still OP? If you want to drop me a throwaway email so we can talk, I'll get a little more specific, otherwise I really need to go get eat. Thinking about food ruined my concentration.
Thread posts: 36
Thread images: 2


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