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Cheating? Long post, real story

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Hi guys, I’ve met an attractive grill 10 days ago (lets call her Y) at one nice formal-style party. I haven’t been searching for a girl, I was just having a good time. I flirted with some other pretty girls there (women to men ratio was like 3:1 and the majority of men were old or French). Lot of wine was involved too, which helped. Well, this one was hitting on me pretty hard, later asked openly if I have a girlfriend and joked about sex. I took her home and, as the effect from alcohol already dissipated, I’ve just said goodbye.

We met day later in a restaurant near her home, talked a lot, turns out we don’t have a lot in common but it doesn’t matter so much. In fact, I have a FWB for over 7 months now and I told her so, she didnt seem to mind, and told me that she also has someone but they havent slept yet. She also seems to crave cock and one time a little drunk she texted me with her friend that she wants it really bad.

Three days later, we met again. This time, Y was really cool and we made out heavily after our meeting. However, when I was about to go home, she noticed that I have some photo on my phone screen. Retard that I am, I left there a wallpaper with me and my FWB. She insisted really hard to see, playing with me, I have finally gave it to her and she started laughing. Then we made out again, but I left with really bad mood, because I recalled that I have this other girl and wasnt sure about my feelings anymore.

So, the next day, Y texted me that she has to tell me something - she doesnt want to have a relationship with me. I fucked up and told her, that I think I need more time and hinted that the only right solution would be to never meet again. She acted accordingly and gave me time. I had to think over this really hard, and after consulting some people I think that if Y would be another FWB and K wont know about it, it would be okay. Cont.
I tried to contact Y several times after that and she responded lazily or never at all. We ignore each other now, but as I have other things to attend to and dont want to spend time and energy thinking about this bullshit, I manned up and called her two hours ago, wanting to know if she wants to meet again or not. She answered with "Ill call you later". I am sitting in front of PC, trying to make some paperwork and thinking about all of this. If she tells me that she doesnt want to meet, I will be angry for my stupidity but will let her go.

What do you think about all of this? What is your stance on my view on cheating? I am morally okay or not? And how should I respond to her call (Y) ? Thank you for your patience and feel free to ask for more if you are interested, peace.

One last thing : as I said, I have a girl FWB style for over 7 months now. When we started, she (lets call her K) told me that it would never be a proper relationship and that she only wants to be with me as FWB, because she cant resist making out with others when she is drunk and she had some troublesome relationships before. However, I think that it evolved into somewhat relationshipesque thing and I have already been invited to her family reunions, her family is great and they accepted me already, its great fun being with them (I was a formal guest to two weddings already, so I know like 30 family members). K, on the other hand, has never met my family, but it becomes more real every day. The problem is that under our agreement, I can sleep with as many people as I like, and she can too. I think that she has never used this privilege, because she is not that sexual, she is just that "makeout" type. I feel that should K find out that I have another FWB, she will be really depressed and maybe she would dump me. Sex is good but more importantly, I like her a lot and dont want to lose her. However, I ’ve never had an option to have 2 girls at the same time, and I think it would be a good experience before marriage (not exactly with K) so I wont have to cheat just for being curious till the end of my life if it would have been worth it. My faithfullnes has not been worth in the last relationship and I turned down some girls just because of it, I dont want to repeat the same mistake and I want to live fully.

UPDATE - Y just sent me a message that she slept and didnt hear the phone ringing. Also "hows it going" Wtf?
A FWB isn't a real relationship m8
I know, but as I wrote, it seems to be something more between me and K (my FWB).
You're not officially together.
Therefore, it's not cheating.

Nothing to worry about in some ways.
As long as you haven't both agreed that it is something more, it isn't.

Do you think so? I wonder that even without expressly agreeing on it, it could have become a relationship, only lacking the formal aspect of it (publicly stating it)

FYI, I called the Y girl and confronted her. She told me that she does not want a relationship because of something which she doesnt want to talk about, however she enjoyed my company and would like to meet as friends some time. She also apologised for leading me into something she didnt want...WTF

I told her that I enjoyed her too and that we can meet as friends.

Maybe I can still salvage something from this. She is 9/10 so understand me
Its not cheating but holy shit your logic as to why cheating is justifiable is pure shit
>i was loyal before so ive earnee the opportunity to cheat
>this is to prevent me from cheating down the road , gonna cheat and it get it out of my system

Absolute shit tier logic

>Do you think so? I wonder that even without expressly agreeing on it, it could have become a relationship, only lacking the formal aspect of it (publicly stating it)

That COULD be so, maybe, but the girl herself said it wasn't a relationship when you started this, right? Then why would it be a relationship now? If she wants to be in a relationship, she should tell you. Until she does, this is still what it was; FWB.

Well....maybe my choice of words was poor. At the beginning, in my first few "relations", I was always the good, albeit naive and romantic guy. It didnt work out. The last relationship was with a girl I had to leave for a study exchange to France for half a year. I promised myself to be loyal and stood to my words. When I returned there was no love from her side and we parted, although peacefully. I could have slept with some girls and nobody would ever know, and because of our later break-up my chastity was all for nothing.

Understand, I fear that if I never try something "forbidden" like this, and the opportunity arises during my marriage, I could succumb.

In this scenario, I was torn between trying it out (rational part) and forgetting this Y girl, even though I have only "FWB" (emotional part). Thats all.

Do you still think the same?


You are right, maybe I should confront her with that. We shall see the outcome
funny. was in a similliar situation some time ago. 2 intimate contacts but none was real deep. some people i know faced the same. in the end we all ended up alone. enjoy as long as it lasts.
ps.: i had to search fucking palms to tell you this.
Thanks man, and Im sorry to hear that, hope that you took it well.

PS: Manuela is the only girl that never lets a man down, eh?
Thread posts: 13
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