[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

How to Interpret Females: Impossible Edition

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 31
Thread images: 2

File: 1427078895785.jpg (220KB, 2000x1500px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1427078895785.jpg
220KB, 2000x1500px
Alright so, here's the story, and if some kind anon could advise me on what to do next, I'd be eternally grateful. I'm being general so ask me to elaborate if needed, plz


>My 4 year relationship with a girl started declining due to stress, and at one point she wanted to go on a break so she could focus on her uni work for a while.
>After a week, she says that she needs to be alone indefinitely and that we're over because she needs to "find herself".
>After a couple days or so we're texting again, and she breaks away from normal conversation and says something to the effect of "I miss you", just not worded that way.
>If I remember correctly it was like "I want to kiss you" or something.
>I never really wanted to separate so I reply with something equally flirtatious but never went past that message, the conversation returns to non-romantic stuff and life goes on.
>A couple days after that, I ask to see if maybe we could go out as friends.
>It was really a ploy to get alone time with her to maybe open up about how I feel, but for the time it was just friendly because even though we see each other often we had been avoiding each other awkwardly.
>Instead, she suggests we go out as a couple one last time, says it will be more fulfilling for me.
>I accept, and after hesitant withdrawals of the offer it happens anyway out of the blue when she decides to push the envelope and make it happen one day spontaneously.
>It happens, we go out and do shit that only couples would but officially we're not together.
>No sex or anything just walking around, kissing and hugging and whatever.
>At the end of the "date" I suggest we do it again, she declines saying that it would be contradictory because she previously insisted she isn't ready to date again, but does still love me.
>She wants to stick to her word, and she kisses me goodbye.

I still can't tell if I should wait for her, if she wants me gone, or what. I'm just so damn confused and I love her guys. What now?
>>
>"find herself".
This is the point where she started cheating on you, and where I stopped reading.

You already know what you must do, stop being a pussy.

Seriously, you were dumped because you got too beta, OP.
>>
>At the end of the "date" I suggest we do it again, she declines saying that it would be contradictory because she previously insisted she isn't ready to date again,
Actually, nevermind.

You got SO beta, wishy-washy, romantic, non-confrontational, unleader-y, that you not only killed off her attraction to you FOR GOOD, but you also made her completely repulsed of relationships AT ALL, and she'll pretty much admits she'll be a long time in the cock carousel of casual sex until she forgets what a pussy you've became in the course of your relationship.

Hope that helped.
>>
I know it sounds that way, but I'm almost 100 percent certain it's not because of someone else for reasons I can't be assed to explain unless you actually want me to. So let's assume it's not that. Now what?
>>
I can't believe you let her do that. And I can't believe she actually thought that was a good idea. The "one last date", I mean.

No, I don't think she's necessarily cheating on you, but who the fuck does that? Anyone I know would describe that as inexcusably cruel.

I'd tell her to go fuck herself with a poker rod, but that's just me.
>>
>>16527206
Nigga, please. You are 100% wrong and she is 100% cheating.

>>After a couple days or so we're texting again, and she breaks away from normal conversation and says something to the effect of "I miss you", just not worded that way.
This is the point where she realized whichever guy she was fucking (more manly than you, that's for sure) wouldn't commit to her, so she branch-swinged back to you for one last date until you dried up her pussy faster than the sahara.

Women don't let go of their branch until they have one hand in the next one.
>>
>>16527205
Anon, I was very general in depicting what happened, how would you even know if I suggested it like a fucking pussy.
>>
>>16527211
But why then? Part of me thinks she's still interested, but she doesn't want to go back on how adamantly she insisted on the break up before. Could she still be interested? Or was it just for my sake
>>
File: projecting.jpg (95KB, 486x330px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
projecting.jpg
95KB, 486x330px
>>16527216
>Part of me thinks she's still interested

ayy lmao
>>
>>16527225
>I don't know what projecting means
>>
>>16527212
What was I supposed to do? Demand that we get back together?
>>
>>16527228
You are projecting, my man. She doesn't want to give it a try with you, she's repulsed by you, or she wouldn't be trying to "find herself"

Yet somehow you still miss all the obvious cues and redlags, and you assume your predicament, "still interested", still applies to her, when actually she's telling you she "still loves you" and "doesn't want to hurt you" to save face during the breakup, and exhume herself from any responsability. Therefore, you are projecting.

:)
>>
>>16527232
There's nothing you can do to have her back anymore. Your relationship was slowly killed by your own behavior over 4 years, because, as explained, you got too beta, and she wants "new experiences" (read: new cock). You don't give her the gina tingles anymore. I bet you sex life slowed down.

All you can do is save yourself, your own pride, and let her go. She won't see you like a man again so soon. Be stoic. Accept things have ended. Plenty of fish in the sea. Destroy the old you and rebuild yourself.
>>
>>16527238
I didn't ask to go on a date. I didn't try to persuade her to stay when she told me we were over, and I didn't ask for her to start kissing all up in my shit the first time we hung out again. I didn't even press that hard to hang out. How did you get that idea
>>
OP, you're not suppose to fucking understand females

they aren't logical at all.

just....stop thinking and start doing.
>>
>>16527248
M8, she did these things because she tried to branch-swing back to you, so she was extra-nice, but at the end of the date she realized she still isn't attracted to you anymore, and that's why you're not fucking her right now. If she were serious, you would be.

That's all.
>>
>>16527243
That's the thing, the relationship was actually fantastic in most respects up until a week or so before the break, and it wasn't even over something I did, we were both overwhelmed with our lives. Our sex life was great too

>>16527250
Yeah well, kinda need to base my actions off of something
>>
>>16527254
>Takes me out on a date to branch swing back
>After the date she suddenly comes to a realization about my character, the person she's known on a deep personal level for years despite the fact that the date went really well

You're coming to extremely concise conclusions. I think your experiences are coming into play when you give advice, something doesn't make sense
>>
>>16527257
You're still in denial. She just wants new dick, she found a male higher in the social strata, and she took her chances.

"Find myself" is the oldest line in the book.

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=find+herself

It means she wants new dick. LITERALLY.
>>
>>16527262
Not at all mate. Never happened to me and never will, you're projecting again.

It's just how things are. She's fucking somebody, she doesn't want to fuck you, that's it, no biggie. Kill your oneitis, move on, be stoic, don't show her your feelings (or you'll become even more beta in her mind), accept things, improve yourself, work out, focus on your studies/career and never forget that you can never relax in a long-term relationship, you must always lead and set boundaries.

Advice given.
>>
>>16527265
That's a possibility but honestly I'm not the type to be so hung up about it I can't think clearly.
Also, I probably should've mentioned that in a conversation that got a little to deep with her she said that "finding herself" was an excuse to get away from me because in certain emotional aspects I was lacking. Apparently I wasn't sympathetic. I really don't even fucking know anymore
>>
>>16527270
Oh, and reject any half-assed attempts on her part to "continue being friends because she can't see her life without you", she'll just come back to make an orbiter out of you. Cut all contact if she pulls this.
>>
>>16527282
Should I let her back in if she wants to get back together? Should it be all or nothing? Or should I just drop her entirely? For the sake of discussion lets answer this in the context that she didn't cheat and broke up with me because I sucked at providing emotional support
>>
Move on OP. You don't want to be someplace where you're not wanted, do you? There are billions of women in this world & yet you act like she's the one for you. But let me tell you how it is, there is no "soul mate" there are only the right girls to chase after and the wrong ones. It's evident as to which of the two she is. Best regards anyway.
>>
>>16527292
All these mixed messages make that difficult.
Right now I'm inclined to believe that she wants to be with me but her pride is stopping her because she dropped me hard after that break, but I could be wrong. I feel like I fucked up and she broke up with me for it, but now she just doesn't want to give in because of how she did it.
>>
>>16527290
Don't let her back in, you can't just let her decide when she wants to be with you and when she can't. You're not some kind of fucking motel where people come & go as they please. Man up, move on and "find yourself" as she is and stop being dependent on people because really, all you have is yourself. I experienced something similar and the best advice I can give you is start reading. Read things that are worthwhile, read up on existentialist philosophy. It'll change your mindset and make you a better man.
>>
>>16527290
>Should I let her back in if she wants to get back together?
It's dead, Jim.

>because I sucked at providing emotional support
What she means by this is that you got too beta and you can no longer be her emotional rock, you were emotional too many times, you showed weakness too many times, you failed one-too-many of her shit-tests and she doesn't see you as a man capable of leading her while providing vagina tingles anymore, hence why she needs new dick after 4 years. It all comes back to the same thing, really.

Breakups just like yours, tit-for-tat, are a diamond dozen. This is by-the-book stuff.
>>
>>16527298
I think that you're the one who's mixing up the signals because from a spectators standpoint the only signal I'm conceiving is that she doesn't want to be with you at this specific moment. it seems that you're just wishfully thinking she wants to be with you. & I don't think her pride has anything to do with it because at one point she felt the need to leave you which means that at one point that thought crossed her mind, imo that implies that her love has diminished, if not vanished. Find another women OP, there's so many out there.
>>
>>16527303
Only issue is I was a rock anon. I didn't show much emotion at all, that's the problem. She would come to me in distress, and instead of making her feel better I'd be go overboard with the moral preaching. She's the type to shy away from confrontation even when she's in the right, and in some situations I expressed frustration because she wouldn't stand up for herself. In other cases she was angry for irrational reasons and I expressed disapproval, even though it was trivial stuff that wasn't worth fighting over. I was a stoic motherfucker.
>>
>>16527298
Pure denial of reality.

Well, you already got a thread full of good advice, ignore at your own risk.
>>
>>16527315
>She would come to me in distress, and instead of making her feel better I'd be go overboard with the moral preaching
Sounds like a failed shit-test to me.

More often than not, women don't go ON AND ON AND ON about their problems so you tell them how to fix it. That's how men think, we want a logical solution. Women just want to feel better, to vent and be comforted. You need to call her out on her shit in a way that makes her feel comfortable. That's a specific variation of shit-test known as a Comfort Test.

At least you recognize this fuck-up, if not all others.

What you did by preaching instead of making her feel better was have her associate negative feelings with YOU. It's much harder for women to resist the pull of emotions, emotion trumps logic whenever things inside her head heat up, and the last thing you do is add more shit into the mix.

That's not what an emotional rock would do.
Thread posts: 31
Thread images: 2


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.