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I Don't know how to say it, and what is the question but

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I Don't know how to say it, and what is the question but I have a big problem.
My life is neverendig mystery. I'm ugly. Very ugly. 20 yo virgin. The girl who I was closest to leaves me for a handsome guy. I can't forget about her since then and it was over 2y ago. My life sucks on every step. Bad university, gym dosent work out really, I still look like shit. And being a 20 yo virgin is fucking pathetic. I know nobody but my parents will ever love me. This week I vomited on my sight in the mirror. Psychologist don't work. I' don't feel any better and she is one of the best in my country. My life since elementary school sucks, I was always picked on because I'm ugly. She was only one who was genuely obtrested in me. I hate myself .
And I think I found the question.
How to kill myslef with the least amount of pain.
>>
post a picture of yourself and we will see what we can do to help you improve. somewhere out there someone is wondering what it's like to meet someone like you. don't kill yourself.
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>>16526275
>And being a 20 yo virgin is fucking pathetic.
No its not, you been brainwashed by the liberals. Virgin is the least of your problems. It's a symptom of your attitude.
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No picture. I deleted every last one, and destroyed the paper ones. I don't want to see myself. Really. Nobody would want 20yo virgin with ugly face and broken inside. It's the truth. Thank you for replying tho, I was sure that I 'll be ignored and laughted off as always
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>>16526375
It is. Do you know any girl over 18 and virgin? I don't. And I 'll never be the one who takes it, never remembered by the girl as the one who took it. And never loved as much as the first one.
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Another lost soul. What would you do if you were good looking and had a hot girlfriend who only liked you for your looks because there doesn't seem to be anything else to like about you what would you do then that you can't do now
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>>16526275
It's SO easy to lose your virginity, as above anon said your virginity is not your problem. But it's affecting your confidence. How you feel about yourself is ALL that matters (so long as you aren't hurting others) and if you need to create a delusion to feel more confident and get yourself out more, meeting new people, gaining experience. DO SO. Also if you're not good looking you're average. And any non bimbo can see past that or look to other things like money, personality. However, If you are truly VERY ugly, like you say, you'll just have to overcompensate. Get money, be outgoing, don't care about what other people think. Ultimately your problem boils down to you, and there's no reason to kill yourself because you can teach yourself confidence, even if it's a false-fronted confidence. If you fake it long enough you'll believe it. This might sound crazy but way back when it was actually cocaine that gave me confidence. I used to drink socially to get myself out and meet people to change things, but liqour made me make poor choices. I turned to bumping coke casually and it actually created a structure for me to build a life of lies on. I would bump coke to make the confidence part easy, and from that I built. My point is anon, you can do it, you just need to make changes and changes take effort. Excersize WILL make you feel better, and I know it's hard to get yourself out there. You can either wallow and change nothing, kill yourself and change everything permanently (which if fair to be honest) or get uncomfortable and try new things. Also forget about the girl. Love at first sight is a human fallacy. Irrationally loving someone might feel good, but unless it's mutual it's a setup for an emotional disaster. Find people who you actually connect with and put yourself around them, even if they're online and you have to only work or whatever to get by.

Nothing holding you back friendo, hope you can see that before you off yourself.
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>>16526397
I would know at least anything like happiness, which I never felt in my life. My friend who is handsome as hell has a 6/10 gf , he fucked some pretty ones took 4 virginities and now is happy with his gf. I fucking hate him
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>>16526404
If sex is so fucking important to you get an escort or cheap hooker. Fuck. If that's all you really stress about just fucking do it, you don't have to tell anyone. And once you fuck a chick and realize they're just as fucked in the mind and broken as you are you'll stop putting them on a pestle.
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>>16526399
You don't understand... I can't change. I tried. I'm trying to forget about her for 2 years now. And nothing. I've unofficially been with her for 4 months , seeing eatch other for 3h a 4 times a week, sitting on lap hugging occasionally kissing. But of course Mr handsome shows up and she gives up herself to him. Exercise dosent help. Friend a and parents say it works, I I don't see any difference. Go out? I tried I always was denied every timid I tried to talk to girls. I see every time I go to university by train the disgust if someone lays his eyes near my face. I hate myself more than enything. Never felt happines
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>>16526409
I think OOP wants to feel liked, wants belongingness, and nor the sec itself
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>>16526418
Your right lifting is a meme it only helps if it gives you confidence.
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>>16526409
It's not about sex in it. It's about sex with someone who loves you. I've had a occasion where I could duck my friend, didn't want to do it because I.. I don't know
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>>16526418
Excersize WILL help, you just have to actually do it everyday. Just so you know.

Also if you REALLY can't change anything, try socially drinking or drugs. If you're REALLY at a wall you *can't* (tell yourself you can't but you can) beat, PUT SOMETHING NEW IN YOUR BRAIN. CHANGE IT UP. It's better then where you're at, right?
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>>16526424
It dosent give me anything but feeling that I suck because I see my friend who's going to gym for about 1 y and is ducking shredded while I look like a whimp
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>>16526434
Exercise isn't helping me man. 1, 5 year doing everything I can and nothing. I feel worse every time I see people who are better than me. Like fucking everyone especially those handsome fuckers on gym.
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>>16526435
I know how you feel I've been exercising since I was 15 I'm also a virgin and I haven't really made any progress in these 6 years. Even drinking a gallon of milk every day I made no gains. Except acne. But I still keep at it even though all it does is hurt. Why. I don't know. Must be some kind of self harm. I only ever wanted to be 140 lbs. I got over 130 then I got brain infection and lost 15 lbs. My anxieties kill my appetite as well. I can lose several months worth of gains in a week.
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>>16526458
You don't even know how much would I give to be live you, but hey if that's so head up I really doubt that anybody is more miserable than me so heads up!
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>>16526449
Well if you don't have the willpower to get better and shoot every logical suggestion down, the only rational suggestion I can give you is what I said before. Throw some controlled drugs into your brain so shit changes whether you like it or not. It will take you to new places. If you want to feel loved get some MDMA, go to a rave, find some lost party girl and let the drugs do the work. You can get some bimbo pleb attached to you with some drugs on your side. She will *love* you and your drugs. It seems like you don't understand how willpower works. You need to tell yourself you can do it to change things, if you do it, and believe it won't work, it won't work. Placebo is a thing.
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>>16526478
Eh, I know where you are coming from my friend but... I really doubt it. I can't go anywhere because there is chance that I will met her at every concert that I like. I can't dance and my face is turnoff even for me. I tried my best really fiirst to get back the girl and second to forget. Nothing works, even drugs. MDMA I don't have access to . Amphetamine - I almost tried to just go where she lives and fuck up her if not friend who calmed me down. lsd - fun while it is, after I came back to old shit I feel like I'm out of options
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>>16526475
I don't know what you're saying. I'm a friendless neet with a brain of mush. I've been alone for so long that I'm jaded and the things causing you misery don't faze me anymore. You're better off being upset about things, it can motivate you to change. Apply that energy to bettering yourself instead of destroying yourself. Live for yourself man duck everyone else.
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>>16526498
If you blast your neurons with amphetamines or cocaine you will get out of the house and do things.

If you dont think you can be happy, PUT THE HAPPINESS IN THERE. WHO GIVES A SHIT IF SHE SEES YOU!? How good would it feel if she saw you out and about having a good time, you knowing she knows you're not controlled by her. If she honestly left you over looks, she's a cunt and your delusionally attached to her.

The only reason I suggest drugs is because you're so negative that youll shoot down any logical idea, because in your situation it wont work, whereas in many situations just like yours it does. Movement creates seratonin. Drugs LITERALLY change things, and no matter how much you want to argue it if you put enough drugs in your brain youll act differently. and clearly whatever youre doing now isn't working for you. Maybe go to a doctor for some pharm or something, I hate pharm but if you have no willpower it might be the only option.

I suggest uppers because you're in control, and it puts you out there.

Also you *can* find someone to care about you online if you're openminded and willing to chat about things other then yourself. Your negativity is what's holding you down, even if its justified. Until you accept that, whether you like it or not, nothing will change.

I don't even know you but I KNOW you could change things. Unless you have some kind of serious illness like actual retardation or autism to the point that you do not understand social ques. Regardless I hope you figure it out - and I will actually say that suicide is sometimes an option. If all you do is shit negativity into the world and can't try new things you might as well be dead. Fuck, I hate religion but even that might be an answer for you. You're clearly lost and without effort nothing will change. - I know everyone says this, and I know its not easy. thats why I suggest drugs, which is actually a bad suggestion, but it will change things. and it sounds like you want change
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>>16526275
whats not working at the gym?
maybe i could help u out...
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>>16526512
Don't sell yourself short buddy.

You can have just as genuine relationships online as in real life. Even if you're *friendless* online you're still here sharing your opinion and being heard.
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>>16526512
Living for myself is without purpose. I'm clinging between hate and misery all time. I can't get drunk because I'm aggressive or I'm whining to people about my mysery. I don't know how I would behave if she would come to me on some concert. I would hit her. Or I would break down in tears . Dunno what is worse
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>>16526528
How do you get drugs without money
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so whats wrong with your face? acne? acne killed my confidence even now that its gone. i spend all my free time being lazy and jacking off. /soc/ gives me 7s and 8s and i still cant go out if not with friends.

if your facial structure is just ugly then i doubt youre grossing anyone out. nothing wrong with looking different. skin can be gross though, but fixable.
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>>16526528
I give a shot of she sees me. I know she would come up to me. After amphetamine I would attack her. I know it. I get extremely aggrsive after it. I would lost everything then. Probably would got sued for it.
She isn't a cunt everybody would do the same , you got better person and worse person who you'll choose?
I try every day. I learn to change studies for better ones, I still go to this ducking gym I'm going to university. But I feel less powerful every day.I see this disgust in the eyes or others when they see me. And all I want is to cry/kill
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>>16526541
Doctors can prescribe adderal (amphetamines) and nabilones (marijuana) - which would make them a lot cheaper. also you can drink boose.

How do you usually get money? You work. If you're to depressed to do meaningful work or customer service, stock shelves at night or wash dishes. You don't have to talk to many people at all. You can even do drugs while you work! Again drugs shouldn't be the answer but if nothing else works why not try it? When your tolerance is low to its not like the drugs will cost a lot.

P.S. if you're genuinely broke as shit don't get into coke, even though it's the best for confidence. It's only bad because its expensive.

All drugs are different to. Booze might not work for you while adderall does, or vice versa. You gotta figure out your own neurology. If happiness isn't possible without drugs, find it. It might lead to happiness, which for you seems to be connection/being needed
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>>16526275
>how kill self
>no pain pls

Man up for once in your god forsaken life and kill yourself with dignity and pain. You've probably been avoiding pain all your life: pain from failure, pain from rejection, pain from standing up to the bullies-- now should be the time, the ONE time in your life you do something that hurts. Be a man you loser.

Oh also
>gf left me
>better kill myself

Toplol /adv/, i never get tired of the trivial shit you guys are willing to die over. Religious martyrs die over more worthwhile shit than this, and I'm an atheist. At least they have conviction, and courage.
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>>16526551
No acne. Big head. Very big and asymetrical. Bad facial structure - no jaw really and beard is growing very slowly because of stress, and thus corthisol is fucking up testosterone. Everything. I see disgust in the eyes of everyone
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>>16526551
I got rated from 4-9 on soc. I don't trust their rates I think the girls are all fakes. Looks don't matter anyway when you have no social status.
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>>16526541
I've got more than 6000E in bank. Worked much for a car, now i don't see any sense in buying it so i threw away like 2 000 for drugs and proteins + other shit for gym. My parents pay so far for my apartment, until I study they will pay
>>
like i said, nothing wrong with looking different. facial structure will disgust NO ONE. if anything, people are more likely to react positively to you. I think you should try dropping sex on your list of what matters in this world, and go outside without the intent of fucking something. With it out of your mind your personality will change. You dont need drugs.

Try volunteering, peace corps or something. See what life is.
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>>16526551
Balding
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>>16526578
Yea guy who is happy, go away I see many of you everyday.

Pain from faiture? Done, I was in several sailing competitions. Never won.

Pain from rejection? Done. Like whole fucking highscool

Pain from standing up to the bullies? In the middle-high school i was bully.

Go fuck yourself.
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>>16526611
You're such a fucking woman.
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>>16526611
Say that to her. Chose somebody else than me because he was handsome, I was not. From "Do your mom has blue eyes? Because I want my babies to have blue eyes and you have brown ones..." with a smile to "I love you like a brother" in matter of months while we were seeing eatch other, kissing, hugging.
Everything but sex.

Also disgust I see everyday in eyes of girls I see.
It's not imaginary.
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>>16526628
get enlightened, tool

stop emulating your father
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>>16526568
I'm scared of getting a job because I don't want to be revealed to old friends as a deadbeat
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>>16526652
I don't know what are you doing here and why are you trying to respond for me. But go fuck yourself
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>>16526652
your fear is pointless as is other's impressions of you.
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Anyone?
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>>16526659
Because you replied to me.
>>16526663
True. Fears are rarely rational. But it still exists and is my reason for not working.
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>>16526688
what do you want kent?
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>16526697
Help.
>>
File: andy.jpg (133KB, 615x818px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
andy.jpg
133KB, 615x818px
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnLoToJVQH4
watch this , meditate everyday
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>>16526701
Seriously man your problem is you crave sex. No one is disgusted by your appearance just cuz you look weird or different. stay clean and dress normally. youre so concerned about people looking at you because you were rejected for a better looking dude. you think no one wants to fuck you and it makes you sad.

forget about needing sex or love right now, become a bigger person.
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>>16526725
How can I become bigger person if i know that I will always be rejected to better looking dudes? I'm the worst. I do not carve sex. I carve love.
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>>16526736
Well you're only 20 still...there's a reason most guys don't become father's until 30s...at 20 they are busy doing what >>16526725 said, becoming independent, getting their life together, and dating on the side
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>>16526736
Becoming a bigger person is how you find someone who wont reject you down the line.

What you are now is pretty miserable yeah? You just want a girl to love you and would jump at the chance. You have women too high up on your list of what you want from life. Youre just gonna stay where you are if you dont change it.

To feel like you are disgusting to girls who look at you is pretty terrible, dont waste your life thinking so poorly of yourself while putting random vaginas on the pedestal as if their opinion should affect you.
Thread posts: 51
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