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I don't feel bad for sleeping with married men

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Is there something wrong with me? I keep doing it with new guys and think it's sort of becoming a fetish. Like I'm taking what's supposed to belong to someone else.
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Bump guys wtf. I think I might need therapy.
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From a purely objective standpoint, the onus is on the man to keep it in his pants. Who he decides to cheat on his wife with really isn't relevant.

The thing is, most cheaters don't feel bad about what they're doing, and the reason they don't is because they're assuming they won't get caught. It makes sense that you wouldn't feel bad for being a part of it because you don't really have to bear witness to the effect it's going to have on the relationship. I mean, maybe you might have caught wind about the aftermath, but unless you deeply cared about the person you did it with (in which case you wouldn't have indulged their impulse to cheat in the first place), I wouldn't expect you to feel anything.

Sure, you could take a stance that abetting a cheater is no different from abetting any other kind of unsavory deed, but the thing with cheaters is that if you don't indulge them they'll just seek out someone else who will.

What you do need to ask yourself is if you're prepared to deal with consequences should they find you. I'll go ahead and answer that for you: You aren't. You have no idea what kind of vengeful pieces of shit are out there and how far they are willing to go if your affair is exposed and they find out who you are. A repentant husband will not hesitate to sell you out if they think it will save their relationship.

So the short answer to the question "Should I feel bad?" is, at least from me, a pretty cut and dry "no." Again, the more important question is "Should I be doing this?" is an even more resounding "no." You're gambling with your own safety, and even though your odds are good, if this is something you're seeking out, your luck absolutely will run out.
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>>16523912
God this thread again.
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>>16523959
What, you think some crazy bitch is gonna kill me? I guess maybe. Seems unlikely though. I don't think I need to worry much for my safety. Glad you think it's normal not to care about the wives and families. Maybe I am normal.
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>>16523973
I worry about being a psychotic asshole. Sorry for bothering you with my threads.
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Also I think I like telling people about doing this. I feel like I can't tell anyone i know irl so it's nice to share here. Why do I feel like I have to tell people? Is this normal too.
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>>16524001

because you're an attention whore and person of the shittiest tier

>getting attention from someone whose attention should be on their lover makes it more valuable
>holy shit I can talk about it and get even more attention
>b-b-but not in real life, I wanna post it online.

You're a fag and so am I for responding to you.
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Yeah, I really don't like the line of reasoning that goes, "if they don't do it with me, then they'll just do it with somebody else." It's certainly true, I just disagree with the conclusion, "... and that makes it okay."

You're still an active participant in an act that would absolutely DEVASTATE most people if they found out about it. The greater share of the responsibility falls on the cheating partner. Sure. You're still there. Helping to create one of the most hurtful situations most people are likely to encounter in their lives.

Obviously this post is not going to make you stop, but for what it's worth, I do know many people of both sexes who immediately disengage (sometimes pretty disgustedly) when they find out somebody they're seeing or sleeping with has a partner. As for your "fetish", infidelity is probably my single biggest turn-on -- much to my chagrin -- and somehow I've managed to avoid doing anything reprehensible. You're in control of your own shitty actions.
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>>16523974
Not quite. The better way to word it would be, it's normal for someone who only cares about their own satisfaction to disregard how their actions affect others. Basically, uncaring people don't give a shit about anyone else. That's not saying a positive thing.

>Again, the more important question is "Should I be doing this?" is an even more resounding "no."
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>>16523974
>maybe i am normal

You are a disgusting, pathetic person. So is the man. Don't ruin the sanctity of marriage! This means don't tempt the other party into fucking you. You are disgusting.
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Empty girls like to fill themselves up with cocks.
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>>16524007
You don't have to post in the thread if you don't want.

>>16524011
And this is what worries me. I feel like probably nothing will happen, but if it did devastate lives I seriously would not care. Might even like it if it happens? Not sure. You don't give in to the fetish because of some feelings about it being immoral or wrong, but I dgaf. This is proof that I'm sociopathic?

>>16524022
Yeah this makes sense, but where is the line drawn between uncaring and literally crazy? I don't want to be crazy.

>>16524026
Doesn't really answer any of my questions but okay.
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>>16524040
Look, last time I told you that you were a commitment-phobe. You fear getting close to and getting hurt by a real boyfriend. But you like men.
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>>16524044
I can't fall in love so men can't hurt me even if they want to. Sometimes I try to convince myself I really like one, but then when they're gone I just find a new one.
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>>16524058
You will find one who will hurt you someday. Try dating one married guy and one single guy at the same time to make the transition to dating only single guys.
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>>16524040
There is no line drawn because it's an opinion. How do you see the rest of your life playing out? If you plan to ever have a real relationship after this, then personally I'd say you're crazy. You're making too many potential enemies who wouldn't hesitate to ruin any relationship you get. Jumping straight to murder is extreme, but there's plenty of other payback things people are more likely to do. One common thing most have probably heard of is keying someone's car.

Also
>I worry about being a psychotic asshole
Asshole? Definitely. Psychotic? Debatable.
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>>16524058
It doesn't surprise me that you feel this way. After all, why would someone who deliberately seeks to sully commitment ever want to enter a commitment knowing that people like themselves exist and are looking to exploit a relationship in peril for their own personal pleasure?

It's kind of why I have some sympathy for you. You lack empathy, not because you are a horrible monster of a person, but because you don't know what it's like to have ever trusted someone so deeply only to have it tossed away.

That isn't to say that I think what you're doing is right or that it's okay, but I also don't think it makes you horrible either. You're just a little fucked up in your own special way- everyone is. Everyone in this thread who might want to tear you down for what you're doing has visited some wrongs upon others that they may not be comfortable admitting. I'm not going to be that person, I have no need to signal to you how just and upright I am.

You should definitely seek help, though. What you're doing is not healthy.
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>>16524064
I don't want to make a transition at this point in my life. And if I can't fall in love how would they hurt me?

>>16524065
If some crazy bitch keyed my car I think I'd do everything I could to break her and her husband up. And send her pics of me fucking him. I don't want to hurt the wives most of the time but if they got like that I would.

Idk where I see myself in the future. It's hard imagining being able to put up with one person for years at a time. Not sure I'm cut out for a "real" relationship.

Judging by all this, do you think I need therapy or am I okay?
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>>16524080
No, you have Borderline Personality Disorder
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>>16524076
Thank you for not getting ridiculously mad for the things I like to do. If I went to treatment, what would it involve? And what would be the hopeful outcome of that? Would I feel bad for all the supposedly bad things I've done? Would I want a normal relationship?
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>>16524040

>>16524007 is right, even if pejoratively worded
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>>16524082
And this is one thing I hate hearing. A personality disorder is heavy stuff :(

I don't want to need medications or anything to be able to function in society. Ugh.

>>16524088
Well I want aomeone to know. Someone I can talk to openly about this. My friends definitely would not understand and judge me really harshly. What options do I have besides the Internet?
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>>16524086
The goal isn't to feel bad about what you've done. The goal is to acknowledge that what you're doing isn't going to bring you any lasting happiness. I'm not going to be the one to tell you that marriage is the solution to your problem, it certainly isn't, but whatever short-term pleasure you get from screwing around with married men is going to run dry.

Men and women -typically- cheat for distinctly different reasons.

Women tend to cheat because they have emotional needs that aren't being met and men are very quick and eager to provide them with the attention and feeling of being wanted that they're not getting from their men.

Men tend to be a lot simpler. They cheat because they've grown used to their partners, and consequently find them less attractive, and just want to spice up their boring sex lives by courting and banging a hot available woman, regaining their sense of manhood, proving to themselves that they haven't lost a step.

With that in mind, as you get older, fewer and fewer men are going to look at someone like you as being worth the risk. Like, if you're going to cheat on your wife, you want to do the best you can do. So what's going to happen for people like you as you age? The short-term pleasure of adulterous affairs is going to leave you with less and less meaningless sex to occupy your time, the validation will evaporate, and you will wind up unable to relate to the opposite sex in a real healthy way at a time when your options are becoming few in number.

People like you die miserable and alone. That's not a threat, and it's not something I want for you, it's just the most likely outcome.
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>>16524097
Whats confusing me is the fact that your worried about your personality or even what your friends would think of you...
Its obvious your sociopathic in your actions and non existent regret.
Should you get therapy? 100%
Why dont you care? Most likely you were either hurt before / brought up in a house with an unhealthy relationship dynamic / emotionally abused somehow as a child.. theres more reasons obviously.
Will you need meds? I doubt it... i dont see this as a personality disorder i actualy see this as a fail on your parents / guardians part ... somewhere along the line you got an idea in your head that other peoples lives are irrelevant compared to yours ...
I actually have a few questions.
How old are you?
What country are you in?
How many sexual partners have you had?
How many times a week would you say you have sex?
How long do you stay fucking the one guy?
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>>16524086
So bearing in mind with what I've said here: >>16524116 , treatment is simple. It's not easy, but trust me when I say it's simple and doesn't require any drugs.

You just need to admit to yourself that what you're doing is wrong and commit yourself to stopping it, because you owe it to yourself to be happy, and this isn't making you happy.

No, this doesn't mean you need to 'convert' yourself and force yourself to find a relationship. No, this doesn't mean that you need to FEEL bad about what you did. All it means is that you need to put it behind you and resolve to be a different kind of person, the kind of person you can be proud of and respect.

Indeed, it could easily be said that you do this because you put so little value in yourself that you something as strong as a married man's validation to make you feel truly good about yourself. I bet that's a powerful drug, but at the heart of it is a personal problem that no amount of sex is ever going to help you with in the long term.

You need to take up a hobby or a project that is going to fill you with pride in a way that no penis ever will. You'll find yourself less dependent on that kind of validation, and perhaps then you might respect yourself enough to want to have a real relationship with someone.
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>>16524116
>people like you die miserable and alone.

Hit the nail on the head with that comment anon.
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>>16524080
>If some crazy bitch keyed my car I think I'd do everything I could to break her and her husband up. And send her pics of me fucking him. I don't want to hurt the wives most of the time but if they got like that I would.

Yep, this is what makes you crazy then.
>I don't want to hurt the wives most of the time
But you are hurting them. Sleeping with their husbands is hurting them. Sleeping with their husbands IS doing something to break them up.

If what you do for your own fun is pretty much the same thing you'd do to hurt/get revenge on someone... Do you see why that's wrong? Your fun hurts other people. It doesn't make them crazy if they want to hurt you or destroy something you own. You were the one that knowingly hurt them first. It doesn't make them right either, especially if it's anything illegal. But it would still fall under "normal but not a good thing".
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Retards like you need yo stop playing with fire. Some wife is going to stab the shit out of you and nobody will care because you brought that shit on yourself.
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Like that scene in 'nymphomaniac' where she has a wife leave her kids with her husband right after he tries to come over and fuck her. You'll only get what you've done as wrong if something extreme happens.
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There's a lot more I want to talk about here. Good posts after I fell asleep. Don't let the thread die while I'm in class okay?
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>>16524619
Then why do you care so much?
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>>16523974
youre the crazy bitch in this scenario.
pls kill yourself
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If you are single, their marriage is not your problem. It's his problem.
Having an affair is exciting and sexually arousing. No regular relationship can compete in excitement.
You are choosing unavailable men on purpose, which is fine if you know what you are doing.
Go with it until you tire of it.
I know many people who go through their whole lives with an affair and seem happy with it.
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I wish I were a computer. Typing on phone sucks :(

>>16524116
Is there such a thing as lasting happiness? I'm not so sure I believe that. People married for a long time mostly seem to find a way to tolerate one another more than anything. And of course I can't do this forever. Isn't that more reason to do it as much as possible right now? Enjoy life while it lasts.

Most people die miserable and alone. No one cares about old people.

>>16524130
I'm early 20s USA, maybe slept with 10ish guys? Not all married but most of them were. I like it when they have kids too, especially teenaged daughters. That sounds sick even to me :/

Sex maybe 3 times a week, sometimes a lot more and sometimes none.

I don't know if this is relevant but sometimes I wonder if my childhood counts as abuse. My parents divorced when I was in grade school and then we didn't see my dad much ever again. My mom was abused horribly by her dad and had a lot of issues. I think she was bipolar. She worked and cared for us with food, but most of the time when she wasn't at work she was in bed depressed. We kind of raised ourselves and the house was trashed always. Sometimes she'd get manic and take us on crazy shopping sprees or would get really pissed off and break things, scream, and threaten to drive us far away with our cats so we could abandon them where they couldn't find their way back. And sometimes she'd get mad while driving us somewhere and break traffic laws while screaming at us. Sometimes I thought we were all going to die hit by a truck or something.

Oh sometimes I only see a guy once and then it's over. The longest was a few months.

>>16524135
What is happiness? Sometimes I feel happy. I feel happy when I'm with the married men. I'm not so sure the happiness you're talking about is real, or any different from the happiness I know. If there's something better out there I'd like to experience it but it sounds like a lot of work for likely no payoff.
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>>16524169
I can sort of see how it might hurt someone, but why is that wrong? Life is painful no matter what we do and if we thought about every single person we were hurting with our actions we'd probably be afraid to breathe. As things are we may be dooming the human race with our lifestyles of consumption and greed. We've caused entire species to go extinct and that hasn't stopped us. Why is it such a big deal if I take these men that aren't mine? Does that really make me incapable of empathy?

>>16524631
Is that a movie? Kinda want to see that now. I'm trying to put myself in that situation to figure out how I would feel, but I just don't know. Those kids aren't my responsibility, so why am I supposed to care if their shitty mom leaves them? Maybe I would care. Kinda hope I would.

>>16524973
Yeah this is sort of how I feel. But everything around me makes me out to be the bad guy. Conversations with friends about cheating exes, everything in the media. Am I really bad?
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I mean maybe I should try therapy just to see what happens? But I'm not really understanding what the benefit is supposed to be. I want to be sane and normal, but I don't even know if there's anything wrong with me to begin with. I feel like I'm expressing my feelings well. Is this making sense?
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>>16525340

Seriously go to a fucking Therapist, people told you what it is: You know youre doing something morally wrong because you see yourself as a destroyer, that´s while you feel mad, now give a fuck about others and do what ever is fun for you: whoring around.
Have fun with it or stop doing it or it will eat you (You sound like 18 to me )
Enjoy your life or get eaten
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>>16525326
>Life is painful no matter what we do
Yes it is, but that doesn't mean go out and cause more pain. Where do you draw the line? When does "there are worse thing in the world" stop being an excuse? What sort of morals do you have, like to you follow the law because it's right? Or do you just feel it's better self preservation not to get in trouble?

If you just point out that other stuff is worse, that can work as an excuse for anything. Countless people have been killed. If you went out and killed someone that wouldn't be so bad right? Why not go for more, see how many you can kill. You're never going to kill the "most" people so how could it be so wrong?

That's the argument you're making. You don't really seem like you have empathy if you think that way.
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>>16525363
What would happen at therapy? How would it benefit me?

>>16525403
I'm not saying that other people have done worse. I guess what I'm saying is that morality is relative, and what some people see as not a big deal is something that causes others a lot of suffering. I don't know what that means for me. It's like all I have are questions and no one knows how to answer them.
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>>16525489
>what some people see as not a big deal is something that causes others a lot of suffering
Can you list some other examples then? And morality can be relative, but still what are your morals?
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>>16525504
Arranged marriages might be one example. Some people see it as immoral.

My morals? I don't know. Killing people isn't something I would do, and I do follow the law most of the time. Have used some drugs I guess but I stay away from those now. There's never been a really compelling reason to break the law. I don't actively want to hurt anyone, if that's what you're asking.

Did I answer that right?
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>>16523912
You're the human equivalent of trash. If you think you would like to stop being a piece of trash then get help, if not then I can only hope that one of these wives will come after you one day.
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I knew a girl like you in my youth. While the rest of us coupled up and got hitched she stayed single with the mentality of a 20-somemthing year old, becoming more and more cynical of anything to do with love. She ruined my good friends marriage and went on with justifications about how she wasn't too blame. When she was 31 both her parents were killed in a car accident and I guess it triggered some sort of emotional breakthrough because she was completely the opposite after she was broken by their loss: shy, submissive, anxious. Spent the last few years becoming more forlorn at how alone she really was. She killed herself at 39.

I hope something similar happens to you. You are the scum that rises to the earth's surface.
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>>16525297
To me it sounds like your mom was definitely emotionally abusive to you and your siblings and at the very least was lacked empathy and was neglectful. I am really sorry that you had to suffer that sort of loss in your childhood. It must not be easy dealing with that.

I think it affected you by filling you with anxiety and paranoia about close relationships and because of that you don't feel comfortable or don't know how to form close relationships. Hence why you act the way you do.

However you have the capacity to find meaningful closeness with people in a healthy manner. I am not referring to finding a relationship, but even just a close friendship with someone. I think the first step is recognizing the loss in your childhood.
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>>16525523
This is exactly why I can't tell anyone I know. I really wish I could talk about it with my friends but they would probably stop being my friends.

Kinda interesting that you're meeting my supposed lack of compassion with more lack of compassion.

>>16525526
That's kind of horrible of you. I wouldn't wish a painful life or suicide on anyone. Especially not for something so minor.
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>>16525549
>something so minor
Tell me again how ruining dozens of lives if not more is "minor"

As for the lack of compassion, it's only fare that someone as terrible as you is treated like the scum that they are. Like I said, if you'd like to change, power to you.
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>>16525549
>I wouldn't wish a painful life on anyone
But you're totally fine with causing pain to others by cheating with their spouse?
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>>16525549
>Especially for something so minor
Sex in a marriage is sacred to the married couple in almost all cases, why do you think they're married? For "funsies"? They love each other.

You're degrading their bond and love into something bestial, its just sex, and you break it by invading that communion through illicit means.

Personally I don't give a shit, but your attitude and the emotional pain caused by your actions warrant a "Go kill yourself" tier response. Then you wonder why you can't tell your friends. You've probably had a support structure all your life to think this way, you're a twat or a shitposter.

"Thats kind of horrible of you" did that hurt your fee fee's? Fuck off. If you're not going to take what you do seriously don't bother posting here, this isn't "emotional support no matter the cause" this is advice, its realistic. If you want a safe space, go to fuck baby island, AKA Tumblr.
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>>16525542
What did I lose in my childhood? It was mostly happy and I had friends. Just sometimes my mom got a little crazy.

Like once when my brother and I were young I remember not wanting to take a bath, and she made both of us go outside naked at night in the cold and sprayed us down with the hose. But that only happened once and it wasn't so bad after the fact. Did this sorta thing cause serious mental harm?

>>16525564
>>16525566
I think you guys need to calm down.
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>>16525511
Honestly posted the killing part assuming you'd see that as too far, just for an extreme example. Didn't think you intended to physically hurt someone.
As for arranged marriages, I don't see that as "causing others a lot of suffering." Didn't surveys say they were generally happier too?
Stuff you listed for morals sounds pretty normal. I just wondered. I don't know, I come to /adv/ since I think it's interesting to learn about people.

Why did you stop doing drugs and what did you try?
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>>16525588
Femanon that is horrible shit. If the person responsible for taking care of you, and one of your first close relationships, would consistently berate, undermine, and be cruel to you, that will probably cause someone to be fearful of future relationships because you were shown that was acceptable behavior in a close relationship.

Your mom wasn't a "little crazy" that is downright insane. The fact that you see this as acceptable is telling. You lost being able to feel safe in one of your first close relationships. People should feel safe with their parents as children.
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>>16525584
Don't make fun of me.

I do like to sully the sanctity of marriage, or whatever. It turns me on and I don't think I'll stop. I like it even more if they have kids. We fuck in their beds surrounded by family photos and I love every moment of it.

Does that upset you? I don't even know why I like it, or why I don't seem to share your sense of morality about it. It's confusing.
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>>16525612
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
alright everyone, it's time to leave this thread, it's confirmed bait at this point.
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>>16525588
Yeah, definitely confirmed, you're what /r9k/ would call a "normie" as much as I hate using the term, you're in a bubble of innocence because you've never had to face hard ship in life, your hard ship would be homework on a Friday afternoon compared to others. Pic related is you described and why you'll never understand that you're a piece of shit.

>>16525603
.....you're fucking unbelievable. "That is horrible shit"? Really? Do you think you're a special snow flake? A kid doesn't want to take a bath her parents spray her with a hose, not a problem to me. You want an idea of not feeling safe? How about a mother that emotionally manipulates and guilt trips the family into doing everything she wants, refuses to do any work herself, and physically abuses when she can as well while denying any wrong doing? Or a physically abusive father?

You're really captain shit post right now.

>>16525612
Making fun of you would mean I'm laughing at you. I'm telling you you're a piece of shit, you attempt to justify what you do. Just accept it. Just say you're a piece of shit and go around doing it, stop asking for advice, stop seeking emotional approval, go be the little slut you want to be and stop lying to yourself about it, because that's the crime. Its not the fact you break families in a desperate attempt to gain some power over someone else with something you didn't earn (cough your fucking vagina cough), which is also pathetic by the way, its the fact you masqeurade.

Then again, this might be too complex for you to understand. Or you're just shit posting.

in which case A+ shit posting anon, /a/ would be proud.

>>16525620
This, Im out.
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>>16525549
>wouldn't wish a painful life on anyone.

You've never been cheated on have you?
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>>16525603
You're one I want to talk to more. I'm glad those others are leaving. Gotta go to night class though so hopefully we can talk later.
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>>16525623
Anon I am not the OP nor am I trying to be the OP. I was more talking about the mom acting bipolar.

You are also saying that because it isn't a problem to you that it is an appropriate response, which I disagree with because it tells the kid that "if you don't do what I say I'll just make you do it anyways", which even if true isn't really conducive to raising a kid.

Please don't try to use a worse situation as proof that a not as bad situation isn't bad. Rather provide reasons as to why hosing down a kid because they don't do as you say is appropriate. I could be wrong and you could be right, but I would like to see reasons.

I have been through awful things too. I was sexually abused by an ex girlfriend, she cut me several times and would isolate me from friends and family, trying to play me against them. The relationship ended after she most likely cheated on me and told me it was because I was an awful person.

At this point OP could be a troll. If s/he is I apologize for replying.
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>>16525646
You seem to be a kind-hearted person, it's a shame you're wasting your well thought out responses on bait.
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I gave pretty specific accounts of what I kinda thought might be abuse ive experienced. So not sure why everyone thinks I'm a troll. Would be hard to just come up with that stuff.

The post that set off everyone's troll sense is just exactly what happens. It excites me being in that position, and I sort of like that it bothers other people.
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>>16523912
kill yourself. only solution hunny. you are actually a useless sack of meat.
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Timestamp pic now OP, if you want to prove you aren't a troll.
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>>16525659
To me it sounds like you almost like the taboo element of it in combination with you finding it attractive in a fetishistic sense. Finding it hot isn't the problem. The problem is that you actually do it and to most people that is unacceptable.
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>>16525659
You got me pretty fucking good OP, haven't been this thoroughly buttflustered at a troll in a long while.
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>>16525672
I'm more interested in talking about my mom right now. You said you thought it was abuse? And I had to come to terms with it or something. How might I have been affected if this was abuse? Guess no matter what everything is pointing to therapy. I really don't want to be crazy like she is :(
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>>16525746
In general when someone at a young age, before they can reason well, is shown that close relationships are chaotic, unstable, controlling, and explosive, it causes them to not know how to form healthy close relationships with others. In your case, you have a tough time forming close relationships and thus use sex as a way of feeling intimate because everyone wants intimacy in some way.

When you think about the idea of being close to someone and being able to be open and honest with them, how do you feel?

The fact that you care about not being crazy is a sign you probably won't end up like her.
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>>16523912
So, I glanced through a few posts and here's my $0.02

You're getting satisfaction out of ruining for other people what you're afraid you can never have. You don't need a man to hurt you, you're doing that to yourself. You're a very unhappy person. Don't seek therapy for being a psycho, seek therapy to find your happiness because you deserve it.
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Homewrecker.
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>>16525757
You don't know what you're talking about. The very fact that OP is more concerned if she is 'normal' or not over being concerned for the families she is willingly ruining is THE sign that she is batshit socio. She says she doesn't wish pain on others yet is somehow too dense to figure out that someone might actually be upset over having their marriage ruined. She cannot fathom that years of effort and tears and life changing experiences have gone into the bonds between other people because she has never had a true bond with anyone - she simply cannot empathize with anyone at all. She has distanced her recklessness as a fetishes - this justifies the act to herself and voids her of all responsibility in her mind. She thinks because she classifies this as a fetishes that it has no effect on the real world, that her actions have a direct correlation to the psychological breakdowns of the kids and spouses she callously chucks aside just to get off. She has known nothing at all that resembles love and has confused it with sex thinking that she might leech them off these piece of shit men. The truth is OP you just go for the lowest of the low. You like mixing your company with the shit tier of humanity, being one yourself.

In answer to all your original posts ITT about wanting to know if you're psycho or not - yes you are and you should see a therapist, and if you don't you should know you are ruining the lives of other innocent people. The fact that you are apathetic about it does not determine if you are normal - it merely deems you unempathetic, lacking critical thought and an inability to control your own emotions. You are a child and need another adult to tell you how to grow up.
>>
so finally i'm home and can type

>>16525757
you really might be right here. i usually feel pretty cold toward people, and have trouble really talking with friends or anyone. like they expect more from me and i don't know what that even means. so i'm lacking something important when it comes to relationships.

>When you think about the idea of being close to someone and being able to be open and honest with them, how do you feel?
what does open and honest mean? i'm being open and honest with you guys and it feels nice talking about things i can't tell anyone else. mostly i feel confused at that thought. maybe a little sad, because there might be something wrong with me and i'll miss out on an important part of the human experience.

>>16525758
i do deserve happiness, but again what IS happiness? am i not happy now? i'm not trying to kill myself and smile genuinely sometimes. maybe i'm not even sure what therapy is. i've read some about CBT but applying that to myself is like what.

>>16525795
am i supposed to be so concerned about people i'll never even meet? people i'm not harming in any way. i wouldn't set out to "ruin a marriage", but if it does happen that's between the husband and wife. i'm not raping anyone or anything. if it upsets her so much she should have married someone that wasn't going to cheat.

i shouldn't feel like i have to defend myself, sorry. you're coming on a little harsh is all. does not caring about people that i'm not hurting really make me sociopathic? i kind of want to force myself to care if it will mean i'm in good mental health. not that such a thing is possible.

but i care about some people. i don't want my friends hurting.

there have been some really sadistic people in my family and i'm scared i'll turn out like them. my mom's not nearly the worst. maybe i'll go to therapy, but i really don't want to stop seeing the married guys. those moments we're together are precious :/
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>>16526280
>"I deserve happiness."
You would sooner provide nutrients to plants from your decomposing corpse than deserve happiness
>>
>>16526280
>Ozymandia
Those precious moments will slide through your fingers with time's relentless march and you too shall taste the bitter residue of absence. You are a fool, damning none but yourself.
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>>16526285
i'm hoping to have like a real conversation here? this isn't /b/

>>16526298
yeah nothing lasts forever. i realize that i'll get old and probably not be able to do this anymore. and ofc in the end we all die. doesn't mean the experiences we can make are all worthless.
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>>16526305
Monsters should be treated like monsters. Know who also wants to have a real conversation? Those kids whose parents you helped split up.
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>>16526280
Oh hey OP. That movie nymphomaniac is on Netflix, if you have that. Think I'm going to watch since it sounded interesting and messed up.
See an actual therapist though instead of just /adv/. You ask what therapy can do for you and well, we can't know exactly. If anything, it will at least give you a professional to ask if your feelings are normal, or what they think normal responses would be. Seems important to you, and you'll get better answers.
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>>16526340
yeah. i should. probably will eventually. sort of irrationally afraid that the therapist would be angry with me if i shared as much as i have here. i'd probably lie in therapy. would they be able to tell?
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>>16523912
You're just another vessel of narcissism floating through society.

You cannot empathize with the wife/gf. You carry on, only caring about your needs in the situation. You probably feel like someone is "picking you" over someone that is supposed to be more important to them, and it gives a thrill or confidence boost.

In short, yes, you are deviant from society. A lack of empathy plus manipulation for your own personal gain implies antisocial personality disorder.

You probably have low-impulse control and some fucked up princess mentality. It doesn't seem like you want help though.

We don't do things that are morally wrong because normal functioning human beings have a filter in their brain that goes "Hmm. If someone else did what I was doing to me, would I like it?.... No? Well then I guess I shouldn't do that." You seem to be lacking in that department of moral thinking. Sucks for you. When dude's get older, their libido dies along with age. As you get older, you become less of a catch. This is gonna be a short ride of a lifestyle, anon.
>>
i'm getting sort of tired with these replies now. maybe i'll go to bed. night 4chan. tomorrow maybe we can talk more.
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>>16526410
TIRED OF THE TRUTH. YOU BUTTHURT SHELL OF A HUMAN.
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>>16526416
not tired of the truth, no. just tired in general i guess. it's been a long day.

>>16526386
this post was pretty decent. it wasn't full of misplaced anger at least, and i appreciated it for that. i'm just tired.
>>
>>16526419
That's weird because I hate cheaters with a passion. And if you ever fucked my future husband, I'd probably beat your teeth in with a bat and carve your face with a dull razor (granted, this is if I knew you were a serial homewrecker that did it for thrill). Like if my husband were to cheat on me, i'd hope at least he did it with someone he loved (who I guess would be worth it), not just a fucking nympho that can't control herself. Yea, you'd have to pay for that in my book. I'd willing do the time in jail.

But I pity you pretty badly and know a lot about narcissism, and you got some key characteristics here. Like the fact that you do not care about people you don't know... Or that you think you're cheating is some big secret that don't hurt no one... Intimate relationships have enough stress on them already. You may not be doing immediate damage, but definitely on the long term...

I didn't want to sound angry in my post of course, because then you probably wouldn't listen to me. But god I hate people like you. So stuck in tunnel visions of sex and vanity. No deeper thoughts on morality, humanity, etc. Really, really disgusting, moronic behavior.. You can discredit me now.
>>
>>16526280
>am I not happy now?
No. You're not. That's why you're here. Asking us what's wrong with you. You need a therapist and you need to want this fir yourself. I hope you're able to find your inner peace, OP.
>>
>>16526366
If you lie, there isn't a point in going. You also wouldn't get the answer of how normal or crazy it is. With a therapist, only thing you'd get in trouble for is if you're planning to (physically) hurt yourself or others. That kind of extreme stuff.
>>
>>16526462
>No deeper thoughts on morality, humanity, etc. Really, really disgusting, moronic behavior
This part struck a chord with me and I think it might be the answer to OP's behaviour. She is definitely incapable of having these deeper thoughts about important topics which means it's probably a mix of autism and brain damage. I wouldn't be surprised one bit if her parents dropped her or if she was violently reprimanded for something as a child.
>>
>>16526462
yeah this is one of the better posts in the thread. i think it's because not just like "BLARGH CHEATING BAD KILL URSELF!"

you're reasoned and sensible, glossing over the murderous hate bits. would you really prefer your husband fall in love with someone else than simply fuck some girl he met in a bar, or online? why is that? do you just want to marry the hopeless romantic type, and hope you don't get someone who doesn't have emotionally unattached sex? i'd like to know more about that desu.

you don't need to pity me. my life is basically average, and i have fun doing my taboo thing with guys like your future husband. morality is sort of complicated but i've taken some ethics courses so i think i'm capable of deep thought on the subject.

i am a little narcissistic, but i think everyone should be. if you don't care about doing well for yourself no one else will, either. and then you're practically dead.

thanks for the post. i kind of like you.

>>16526477
maybe. happiness is hard to quantify alone. thanks, i hope you have inner peace yourself :)

>>16526491
i would be afraid of telling a therapist anything big like this. not sure why. maybe that's a good place for therapy to start. telling them i don't think i can share anything meaningful.
>>
>>16526514
>autism and brain damage
yeah no. lol. is this a joke? i'm perfectly normal in that regard.
>>
>>16526534
It's okay dear, not all of us are born with a properly functioning brain (and your parents dropping you didn't help, either).
>>
>>16526524
It would be better, if I had to pick of the two, for my husband to leave me for someone he loved. Because if we were not meant to be together, he'd at least be happier with someone who may be a better fit for him. That is what a certain type of love is... When you want someone to be happy, even if it isn't with you... I'd also be able to cope with it better. Our relationship wouldn't end over mindless fucking, rather more mindful fucking. I'm not saying I wouldn't be hurt. But, a relationship ending over emotionless fucking? Like, I'd have to linger with the thought of: was the fuck even worth a whole marriage?

Everyone has traits of narcissism. But the extreme lack of empathy you show and behaviors that are known manipulate other people's lives (whether you know it or not), is not a normal level of narcissism. It is manipulative/abusive form of narcissism in which a person purposefully acts in a way that hurts others (even if they do not care or do not even know or are in denial of the hurt they cause) called "malignant narcissism." I am quite sure you have it.

My mother has it and she is very hypersexual and thrives off of hurting and outdoing others, and I wish she wasn't me mum, but that's the hand I was given. She's attempted to fuck my past two boyfriends and occasionally sends sexual pictures to my current boyfriend. Like this is a 55 year old woman I'm talking about. She's been the other woman multiple times before and after my dad. And growing up with her was a vile experience.

That could be your future OP. Just looking out because I don't want a bunch of my moms running around when I'm 55 and happily married.
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>>16523912
Do you have sex with other people other than married men?
I just recently ended a nice relationship because I realized I'm not over the stage of having casual affairs and meeting and fucking random people.
I'm past 30yo so maybe this is not a stage but my final stage.

Anyways, I broke up with my gf mostly because I knew I was gonna cheat on her eventually, and she doesn't deserve that. She monogamous, I'm completely not.
>>
>>16526587
now you have me pitying you :(

it must have been hard growing up with her. most people really shouldn't have kids. are you messed up at all from her manipulating you? you seem pretty messed up, saying you'd murder someone for fucking your husband. i get the feeling you mean it too, which is scary. i think all guys cheat sooner or later. getting so mad about it that you'd end your marriage is a little extreme . sort of like you're denying the reality of men and relationships. i bet you'll never even know he's cheating and everything will be just fine.

i'm not like your mom, thankfully. i wouldn't try to sleep with my friend's boyfriends most of the time. it's too scary thinking you might get caught. you're an interesting person. we could be pretty good friends under normal circumstances :/

>>16526589
sometimes i have sex with others. it's not nearly as much fun as when they're not married. someday i want to fuck a happily married lesbian too.
>>
i'm thinking now about how i might fix myself, if this is really a problem. feel like i'd always be breaking this rule if i tried.
>>
>>16526675
I'm not gonna lie, I cheated and cheated with someone who was cheating and it's a thrill.
But the risk involved is not worth it to me.
My fetish is not cheating or hurting people. My fetish is more about having sex with people who is having sex with other people. Points added if she knows I sleep around and she gets turned on by that too.
I'd like to be in line to fuck a girl waiting as some guys fill her up and then fuck her, and then leave my semen inside as I leave for the next line. Or have a line of girls waiting at my door while I fuck one after the other.

Buuuut STD's ruin my dream scenario so I only fantasize about this.
>>
>>16526675
No, I'm not messed up. My mom has the impulsiveness of a toddler and is not a threat to me. My boyfriend and past boyfriends and I just scoff at her attempts. Plus, no one will touch my mom. She has flaring genital warts on her genitals and in her throat from her promiscuous lifestyle. Another thing to watch out for:)

Granted, I still think promiscuous and manipulative behavior is seriously fucked up. Which is why I'd rage at any person who thinks it's fun. Thinking all guys cheat is just a reinforcement of your own behavior, not a definite truth. Betting you'll never know he cheated.... The truth comes out eventually. As I said, you are thinking on the short term. You fail to understand the complexity of relationships. A man will not die with the secret of being a cheater. If they come into a crossroad, if they want to change their ways, they will out themselves. It's been done before. This "I don't hurt anyone!!" excuse doesn't make the cut. It seems like you think men are manipulative, and that if you're ahead of the game, you won't get hurt.

I see what you're doing. Whether you know it or not, you're manipulating a conversation to be "right" in the end. Another behavior related to narcissism. Again, if you want to discredit me, go ahead. You don't need to turn it on me in the process. I already am aware you don't give a shit about people you don't know anything sympathetic in our conversation is synthetic. But you are a really vile human, and I'm not just saying that because "mommy issues" or whatever you want to call it. You made this thread because you are craving some kind of help. You just don't understand how hard self-help is. It is not for the weak.
>>
Guys go easy on her, life with brain damage must be incredibly tough. I guess this is her dealing with the stress of being "that kid".
>>
You have neither my pity nor my help. You're just having fun shitting the bed, now wait till you have to sleep in it.
>>
Guys go easy on her, life with brain damage must be incredibly tough. I guess this is her dealing with the stress of being "that kid".
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>>16523912
don't worry, whereas guys hate the woman who cheated on them and kick her out. Women tend to get vindictive with theyr mans sidehoe. One of them wil kill you and it'll all be over.
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>>16523912
so would going to a swingers club or some forum for poly people and open relationships be a reasonable alternative? you get your married men, but without hurting people...
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>>16527838
She doesn't give a shit about them being married, she likes taking things that don't belong to her. It's women like her who grow up crying the most when their tits sag and vag reeks. All she's got is her body.
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>>16528213
I bet her vag already reeks
Thread posts: 102
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