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How do I stop this from happening to me? I can't make friends,

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How do I stop this from happening to me? I can't make friends, never asked out the girl I loved. My live is getting worse and worse because of this.
Maybe work on your grammar.

>X and X will came too.

>And you better gotta deal with it

Lol who fucking wrote this?

Anywhoo, what's on your mind anon? Maybe I can help. I'm bored asf procrastinating my essay.
EH, didn't bother reading your entire post my B.

>I can't make friends
Yeah you can. You should elaborate on why first before just throwing that out there.
>never asked out the girl I loved
Love is mutual, sorry senpai she didn't love you. But that blows, better move on.
>My live is getting worse and worse because of this.
hmm. well you have the ability to make yourself feel happy, so why not try and just feel happy?
Well my life is basically like this:

Before 3rd grade I was this happy kid with all kinds of friends, I was not afraid to talk to strangers or girls. Then in the middle of 3rd grade, I started to become nervous when among people. Lost friends and got bullied until 7th grade and in these years I would cry whenever I got home. 8th grade, I'm completely silent in class, never say anything and fails a lot. Parents are called, they are disappointed in me. 9th grade people ignore me and I lose almost all of my friends, only friend I have left is just as beta and stupid as me. 10th grade, I try to talk to people, small talk and such, better than nothing. People see me as their friend and add me on Facebook but never invite me to stuff. Now on to business school (3 years on total). 1st year I'm in the same class as beta stupid friend, yay. He begins in gym, gets more social with others, and starts forgetting me. I try to make friends, kinda works. Make some friends here. 2nd year my friend begin to make a bit fun of me, I just accept it so that I have someone to talk with. I actually get invited to shit and meet 2 cute girls, 1 I'm extremely interested in. Never ask her out and instead do stupid shit near her. 3rd and current year, I'm still being made fun of, never invited to anything really, when I'm home I just play video games. Hate my family for who they are. Now we are close to the end of the school year, I feel like I will fail and have to start over, my friends are drifting away from me, my beta stupid friend has a gf and has a nice looking body. I'm just here even more pathetic than before, shaking writing this, semi-crying, not knowing what to do.

Sorry if text is full of grammar mistakes or hard to read.
And to add, the picture I posted is how I feel everyday. If I want to talk to people and become friends, It's like I have this inner voice telling me I'm ugly, my voice is gay and whatever, and I just forget about it. This applies to every other thing I do every day.
I tell myself that I'm ugly, fat, stupid, untalented, undeserving, and an all around shitty person. All of which is true but you can't let it stop you from making friends and having an otherwise normal life. You need to learn to deal with it. Most people fucking hate themselves. You aren't unique.
>You need to learn to deal with it
If only it was so easy
Find a way, faggot. I did. Now my happiness is being consumed by the slow rot of horrible self loathing. Fucking deal with it.
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Okay first off:
>friend begin to make a bit fun of me
Cannot stress enough how much this used to get to me buddy.
I got shit on by my friends a lot, especially back in HS. But you know what? I learned to stop taking their insults seriously, because they aren't serious. They're your friends and they say shit like that because they can, because they're your friend and it's not supposed to mean anything. When you over react to friendly jabs, people will just do it more because it's funny. So if you keep taking things to heart, you're just going to get shit on even more. You gotta learn to just stop caring, they're your friends man.

Once this hit me around 12th grade, I stopped caring and over reacting when people would give me shit, then I even started giving other friends shit just to level the playing field. It felt good.
You have to realize that your friends do not mean to hurt you, friends rip on each other,and if you learn to just laugh it off and not take it to heart you'll be a lot better off. So next time your friend gives you crap, just laugh with him, and be passive about it, admit to what he's calling you out for so he know's you're taking it as a joke, because that's what it is, a joke. No one is trying to make you feel like shit, you are the one who is making yourself feel like that.

You should start lifting really. Not for women, not for looks, for you. For your mental state of mind. You'll feel more confident about yourself/your body.

Next time you ask out a girl, GO FOR IT. Don't fucking wait around like a beta, ditch that mindset and just reach for the stars. Life is short man, take risks. If you get rejected, fuck it and move on.

Stop thinking you're pathetic, that's just a toxic mindset.

Finally, you have to work out your family issues dude, that's just plain unhealthy. Family can be one of the most comforting things in the worst of times.
You have no idea what depression is and you are only making him feel worse.

OP talk with your current best friend and explain your problem to him. Start slow and once your have talked to him, talk to others about it. While they might not fully understand your problem, them trying to talk more to you will help a lot.

Have a nice day
>I tell myself that I'm ugly, fat, stupid, untalented, undeserving, and an all around shitty person

What the fuck, why? Why can't people on /adv/ just for once stop giving such a shit about things. That is such an unhealthy way to live. Christ.

I'll assume you're seeing a mental specialist for this? I'm not one, but the comic was about intrusive thoughts, if I remember correctly.

As to what you can do. When you wake up, after brushing your teeth, repeat to yourself that you can do it. You're a smart, honest, eager man, you're gonna get shit done today. 5-10 times in the morning, 5-10 times when you get home, 5-10 times before going to bed. Positive reinforcement. Also, write down things you're proud of each day/week. Not remember, WRITE DOWN, separate entry for each thing. Get counters to all those negative thoughts inside your skull.
>Implying I don't know what depression is
I have many of the symptoms of depression but actively choose not to seek treatment because it's a bullshit condition and my life forces me to cover it up. You can fuck right off you bleeding heart faggot.

Because I don't like lying to myself. I am all of those things.
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