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My boyfriend and I recently broke up, about a month ago. I saw

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My boyfriend and I recently broke up, about a month ago. I saw on facebook that a good friend of mine was going to an event my ex would also be attending, and jokingly posted "lol say hey to the ex for me". I didn't really expect him to see it but he texted me about it a little while later and was upset about it. He insisted it was disrespectful to him and rude, but I really don't think it is. Now he hasn't responded to me for a couple days, did I mess up somehow?
it was just a joke, he should relax
Is it a little childish to post that on social media? Kinda.

Is it simply just a joke?

Its not really disrespectful. You two broke up, it might be time to move on. It sounds like you still want to be in his life and he still wants to be in yours. Dont worry about messing up if your just talking to him.. It is over after all.
Who cares? He's uptight and wants to be offended.

If you feel bad then apologize but I think he's being a bitch nigga. If you want too maintain a friendship with him then say sorry but honestly why bother? You're not together and he can't take a joke.

What's childish about it though?? I mean I don't want to offend him but I don't see what part of what I said is offensive.

I guess he really seemed more upset that I didn't find it offensive
Its not offensive. But is it childish to say something that like on social media? Kinda. Like the other people are saying who cares. Its a joke anyway. Its like when people post personal buisness as their status like "I hate fake people" after a fight or someshit. Like does it matter? No. Is it rude or offensive? No. But does t seem a bit childish? Yes.
Is it fine though? Ofcourse.
Posting stuff like that is still more extreme though. It's meant to get a reaction, or have people ask what's going on, and for the person who was posted about to see it. If OP meant for him to see it or for it to reach him, then yeah it was childish. If not, it was just a bit careless, meant as a joke to the friend and not considering social media as public as it is.

I mean I didn't mean for it to reach him, but I wasn't trying to hide it. I still feel bad that he saw it, I think he's taking it as me disrespecting our relationship. I mean I guess it was a bit soon maybe
Who broke up with who, and why? Either way, sounds like you guys aren't ready for the whole being friends thing, which generally doesn't work anyway.
It's not something you should have thought to hide unless from the beginning you knew he'd be upset/see it.

I'd say it was more me breaking up with him. We were in a long distance thing and I felt smothered, like he wanted to talk too much. I mean some days I would just be tired and want to sit around, and he would be mad that I didn't want to talk on the phone or skype at night. I also just don't think he got me emotionally, like we would fight on the phone sometimes and I would hang up on him because I needed space and he would be mad about that. I mean I'd like to be friends but he hasn't talked to me in a while now
lol kinda rude definetly but if he feels really offended by it then you weren't going to be friends anyways.

Why can't we be friends?? What do you think is rude about it?
And that's the issue. YOU would like to be friends, he doesn't. He might not get you emotionally, but you also don't get him. Nothing good can come from you staying in contact. If you're that different why stay friends anyway?

I guess I don't understand why he wouldn't want to be friends? Like this poster said >16521660 it doesn't really work but I don't know why that should be the case. I mean we broke up on fairly good terms I thought. Could he really be that upset over this one joke? It just makes me feel like he has other reasons I'm not aware of
you telling a friend to say hi can sound like
1honestly sending your regards
2you making fun of him and kicking him in the back

1 is more of a thing to do with someone you don't know well but are interested in, like to initiate contact. but you already had contact so it was obviously a joke, more specifically 2, a joke at his expense!

>Why can't we be friends?
staying friends is a really rare thing, it almost never happens. I think the most obvious reason is that usually some feelings linger on in one or both persons making it painfull to be constantly reminded of what won't be there.
As someone who was in a similar position as him, I'm sure he still has plenty of feeling for you. The way you posted it publicly, maybe he was upset how casually you were talking about him. As if you didnt take the relationship as seriously as he did.

Not saying thats how it is, but that could be what hes thinking

How is it making fun of him though?? Like I mean I know it was a joke and I didn't really mean for her to go talk to him, but I don't think that's kicking him in the back. Is it?
It was probably too soon for him, so its still a sensitive subject

So I just shouldn't even joke to my friends about it?


You might have a point... But how does that joke say to him that I didn't take the relationship as seriously as he did?
Because he wanted a relationship. He might be still hurt over breaking up, whether or not he told you. And sounds like he is if he got that upset over your comment. Is this your first relationship? Because that's the pretty well known reason it's hard for exes to be friends. Usually one person wanted the breakup and the other didn't. Even if both people accept it's for the best, it usually still hurts.
Hard to imagine you really ended on good terms, if it ended because he wanted to talk to you more and you both ended up just fighting.
You can, its just unlucky that he found out about it

And the second part, it could give the impression that it didnt upset you. At least, thats how I felt when it happened to me

I mean he said no hard feelings so I thought we might have ended on pretty good terms? It's not my first relationship but it is one of the few that I've had that was as involved and serious as this one. I just don't get why we can't be friends if we get along already.

What was your situation?? What ended up happening?
We broke up and still spoke for a while afterwards. What triggered the end was that she still talked about our relationship although it was clear we werent getting back together

>still talked about our relationship

You mean like in the past tense, after you had broken up?
Except you didn't get along based on how you described things. You fought until you broke up. No hard feelings doesn't mean good. It just means not going to hate you or have overwhelmingly negative things.
Yeah. Like "remember when/how we did ____?". I get that she was just looking back and memories, but when you still have feelings for them, its hard to listen to without wanting them back

But that's just how I need things to be, I don't see it as a bad thing. If he annoys me and I want to hang up, I need to hang up or I'm going to end up saying something worse like "fuck you". We got along in most aspects but I just take some things very seriously, which we would fight about sometimes
Bump for confusion
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