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My girlfriend told me that I'm verbally abusive and I scare

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My girlfriend told me that I'm verbally abusive and I scare her sometimes. Its only though text messages though, never actually talking to her.

This hit me hard. I know I've sent a few nasty things to her but I love her, I love her so damn much and she knows I love her.

What do I even begin to do? The last message I sent that was bad was more than several months ago. I have full intent of not sending another message like that. But when I tried to talk to her about it and apologize she wouldn't have it and tried to change the subject.

I don't want to "scare" my girlfriend. Thats not me. Even if its just a text.
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>>16518886
What kind of bad things did you write?
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Why the fuck would you send awful things to her? And there are just some things that you can't look past in a partner, no matter how much they apologise. She knows your capable of abusing her, and for her, that's something she can't forgive.
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>>16518892

Calm down, you don't even know what he said.

>>16518886

We don't even know what you said.

It's possible that you're abusive, or it's possible that you're being normal and your girlfriend is just hypersensitive and hates to be disagreed with.

Give some examples, talk about the conversation a few months ago when you said something "bad"
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>>16518901
>Calm down, you don't even know what he said.
It doesn't really matter, she doesn't feel safe with him, and he's admitted that he sends nasty messages.
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Post screenshots of your texts
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>>16518907

You know literally nothing about the situation. I'm not saying verbal abuse isn't a serious thing, but it's also highly subjective, and there are some girls who say things like "I feel unsafe" as a tactic to avoid the normal disagreements and arguments that happen in a relationship. OP might be an asshole, or he might be getting duped by a female asshole.
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>>16518946
Like you said, it's subjective. If she feels scared, she feels scared. Sure, she may be lying or exaggerating, but if OP agrees that he has said some not-nice things in the past, I think it's fair to assume she's not.
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What kind of things are you texting her? Were they out of fighting? Joke texts she took seriously?
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>>16518955

I don't think it's smart to assume anything without any information. OP should post some texts, or at least describe the conversations.
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>>16518986
OP literally admitted he has sent something bad
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>>16518886
Exactly what have you said? Can't really give adc
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Fuck, calm down. He admitted to sending "nasty" things, not to being threatening or abusive. When I started dating my current girlfriend she'd sometimes write just ... the worst things when we fought, because she grew up in a house full of siblings and so she's used to fighting bitterly with people and then having everything be fine the next morning. I made it clear I was her partner, not her brother, and that I didn't consider it acceptable, and she apologized and worked on it. It stopped.

This could be a situation like that, or it could be much darker; we don't know. Cool your jets, people.

As for you, OP, all you really can do is let her know quietly that what she said about your behavior was fair, that you never meant to scare her, you'd never, ever hurt her, and it won't happen again. Tell her also that you're not looking for forgiveness here, though you hope it's possible, you just want her to know she's safe and you're very sorry.

And then make damn sure it doesn't happen again.
Thread posts: 13
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