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want to help the loveless and alone

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Dunno if this is the right board for this.

I am, and always have been (upon hearing of his story), been fascinated with Elliot Roger and his plight. It took me days but I even read his whole manifest. His plight is NOT unique. There are thousands of young men around the world in the same situation as him (Just go to /r9k/ or /adv/ and you'll see. I frequent /adv/ myself). All they want is to be loved, wanted, and accepted. It is heartbreaking thinking about how many young men this encompasses. Imagine being invisible everywhere you go. Imagine having no friends whatsoever, no one to talk to in the middle of the night. Imagine always being alone, not even your parents wanting you. Imagine your birth even being an accident and your parents telling you this (yes this can happen).

I wish I could help all these people but what the fuck can 1 person do?

I don't have a ton of experience. I have absolutely no relevant advice. I'm not even that great of a person. I could just be someone to talk to.
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>>16517719
It makes me angry that people make people like him out to be irredeemable, black-hearted villains. Like he just hated people, especially women, because he couldn't have sex, so he's a misogynist. That was just his obsession. It was a manifestation of his real problems. In reality, he was a broken, lonely person. It's not so much as that he was rejected by women, but that he was rejected by EVERYBODY. It may not amount to being mentally ill, but it's just undesirable of a condition, isn't it? People are so fucking shallow, it's ridiculous. I'm in college, and when this past Thanksgiving break started, Yik Yak was filled with faggots going "wah I'm so lonely cause I'm not partying with the bros cause they went home," and all I can think is like wow, imagine if people like this realized that this is how people like Elliott Rodger feel 24/7, maybe people would start to give a shit.
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>>16517738
Yes I agree with you wholeheartedly.

I'll put on a trip so im easier to recognize i guess

The only thing negative I'll say about The Supreme Gentleman is that he hated women yet wanted their love, yet blamed them when they rejected him.
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I wouldn't start to feel too much sympathy with him in particular, OP.
No matter how lonely/fucked up your life is, taking human life isn't even close to justified. He had mental issues.

You are correct about there being sad lonely guys out there, though. Thanks for the consideration.
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>>16517758
I am very caring and empathetic. I've always been one to sympathize and try to understand people that society ostracizes. Yet I do agree with you. Taking human life is despicable.

I am very shy and not social myself, but i guess I can just be someone to talk to.
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>>16517719
People like Elliot are delusional, he said everyone ignored him, but did he try? Did he ever go out of his way to make contact with people? I wonder what his psychologist thought of his actions desu.
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>>16517758
Well yeah, I wrote the first response to this thread and I'll say that I don't condone what he did by any stretch. But I guess my big issue is that people write him off as having been a misogynist, but that's giving him too much credit. I don't think he had the will to make the choice to be a misogynist, I think he was driven crazy by being lonely and feeling rejected IN GENERAL, and "misogyny" was just what happened to come out because society in general, and especially adolescents, place great importance on being able to get with women, and not being able to do so probably made him feel a great deal of indignation on top of the fact that nobody wanted him. Like society was saying to him, "we don't want you, and it's because you're not a real man." And getting women was probably what he saw as a solution. If not to his problems with having friends in general, then at least to his feelings of inadequacy.
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I can post my throwaway email, or skype, or steam names if anyone feels more comfortable with those. just saying
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Pretty much summed my past couple of years up. I'm nowhere near the breaking point, I've always been a bit more of an individual I guess you could say, some alone time to really think about shit, indulge in escapism, get to know myself. I always enjoyed that kind of stuff.

Recently though that's been my entire life. Self indulgence in escapism.

Was finishing my junior year of highschool, 17 years old, decently popular around school, but no really strong relationships. Now I'm 19 and have been alone for 2 years. Don't even have a relationship with the sole person I'm around, my mother. Everytime we try and talk one of us breaks down. My only friend doesn't even feel like a friend, we talk everyday on the computer but rarely hang out, I love him like a brother but it seems like to him I'm just an acquaintance despite being friends for over a decade. He didn't even invite me to his birthday party despite inviting 20-30 people. Guess I wasn't cool enough or something. That was the moment of realization for me. Other than that I can barely even form friendships with people online. There is a few guys on Steam I play games with mostly because they find me funny, but not really anybody I feel I can talk to. Haven't even had a mic for a few months now because I don't have the means to buy a new one. They probably don't even remember who I am.

It just seems like I've developed this social anxiety that I can't get past. It's not even like I don't want or try to form relationships, just feels like I literally can't, nobody ever shows returned interest.

I think people really underestimate the effect having nobody to truly talk to has. I just find myself pacing around the empty house for hours a day thinking about what could be. I'm not even depressed... I just don't feel any movement in my life.

I'd say how it all came about but didn't really seem relevant.

Pic related: my life.
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>>16517813
>my only friend doesn't even invite me to his birthday despite inviting 20-30 people
Damn that's cold. Guess he really isn't your 'friend' in a way.

What game has the most hours for you? Nonsteam or not
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>>16517830
Or because he's an socially awkward shut in who plays video games all day and lives at home?
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>>16517830
Mount & Blade: Warband but I've since quit playing it.

I have a couple hundred games though so I'm really open to anything.

Recently I've been really into CS:GO. I climbed the top of the matchmaking ladder though and don't have a mic to communicate for league matches though so I've temporarily burned out on it. Still find it fun but just not as challenging.

>>16517834
I should have specified but ran out of text. I'm not a shut in, I go do social things.... just not with friends, and I don't have much luck making new ones either. Go to the park every morning for a jog, I'd probably die of heart issues if didn't get any exercise desu. I also enjoy going shopping even if I can rarely afford anything, just nice to drive around town and get some fresh air instead of being cramped up in the room all day.
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>>16517859
I'm generally a nice guy, greet everyone I see when I'm out and about. I just have the shittiest time actually starting and maintaining any sort of conversation. I have no idea how I managed it in school.
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>>16517719
Is a great idea. I have severe ADHD and sometimes I feel really depressed for it, felt ignored or useless. I´m actually trying to cope with this sickness and be succesfull so I can be of help to ther people with ADHD and giving them real advice: Everything that medics and psychologists say about remedies is pretty much speculation. I want real answers and I want to give them to people.

And this would be more easy if more people was willing to feel comfortable around us and give us their honest opinion about our behavior.

Wish you luck with your project, OP. There are people that needs more help than me, so I´m going to study a bit.

Just somebody to talk to. Damn, that can change a life, you know...
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>>16517859
Man everyone I meet is good at cs:go but I am very bad. Probably because I'm a noncompetitive female. Now that I think of it, all my friends are all better at vidya than me.

I have 139 games but don't play anymore.

Talk about Mount & Blade! I know nothing about it. Why'd you quit?

What do you drive?
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>>16517865
>Damn, that can change a life, you know

Yes I wholeheartedly agree. Although as you can see Im not very good at it. Very shy, even on the internet. Damn.
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>>16517719
Alright anon, since a few months I'm regularly talking to this girl I know. She can be really funny and sweet sometimes, but most of the time she's quite boring, she even says so herself. We used to play some League so we used to talk about that and had pretty decent conversations about other things because of that too. But lately it's not working between us and I feel like I'm loosing her. We still talk occasionally but it's always just the typical "hi how are you, how was your day, what did you do in college, blah blah" and I feel like I just bore her at this point. I also tried picking up some new games with her but she doesn't want to because she barely has free time. I'm shit at conversations but I really want to improve and talk to her more again. I feel like I could make her happy with that again and that's all I want to do. Should also mention that our only way of contact is online since she lives too far away to do stuff irl.

>tl;dr how do I talk to a boring girl that only watches series from time to time and has no real interests apart from that anymore
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>>16517867
>Man everyone I meet is good at cs:go but I am very bad. Probably because I'm a noncompetitive female. Now that I think of it, all my friends are all better at vidya than me.

It takes a bit of time to learn the ins and outs but if you know what you're doing or have a good teacher it's not really a game with physical limits. You could have awful reaction times and the like and still be very good, that's why I enjoy it.

I don't play as much games anymore either, I've been spending a lot of time working on things that can help me out when I'm searching for jobs here in a few months. I had a 2 year hiatus from school due to sickness (which is what brought upon this change) so I'm still finishing up my senior year when I'm 19 ;_; Coding and writing particularly. I love writing.

Why'd I quit Mount & Blade? Well, mostly because image related. Also most of the guys I played with ended up moving on as well, just wasn't the same. I mostly played it for the social aspect, had a really close tight knit community.

I drive a little '95 Toyota Camry that's falling apart around me and my head touches the roof in. Only good things I have to say about it is that the radio and speakers I installed in it make any drive fun and it's good on gas.
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>>16517871
I think you are doing fine. You´ll get better at this, don´t worry. Every skill needs practice and learning, and communicating is an art.

Also, you need to project positivity, so even if you feel frustated or bad, try to show yourself optimistic.
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>>16517882
See here's where I'm not that good at giving advice. But I read all of your story and considered it.

You could try to do what me and my boyfriend do: Pirate movies and watch them together. We can't see each other yet because he lives too far away too. Movies give us something to talk about together. They don't even have to be movies. They can be Tv shows. For example, me and my man are watching Breaking Bad together. Dunno how you can manage this if she's always so busy. But it's a start...

>>16517891
Here's my most played steam game. 90% of it was real gameplay. Disdain for idling! I had a group of friends and we all played on 1 or 2 servers and it was awesome back then.

>most of the guys I played with ended up moving on as well, just wasn't the same. I mostly played it for the social aspect, had a really close tight knit community.

Exactly the same here. Sad feels. Good times back then, though. Not a whole lot else to say about it. Miss those friends...

>my head touches the roof in
I wonder if your head bumps the roof if you go over speed bumps
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>>16517891
I don't mind sharing my Steam if you aren't comfortable putting yours up by the way OP; here it is:

http://steamcommunity.com/id/AnimuGrill
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>I wonder if your head bumps the roof if you go over speed bumps

That's assuming speed bumps don't just completely rekk my car. I have to purposely dodge speed bumps and angled inclines.
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>>16517719

I have no pity for Elliot Rodgers - he expected everything to be handed to him, and ended up in this situation based off of his own inability to recognize the huge stick up his ass.

Yes, there are men who are lonely, and in a lot of ways, it's not entirely their fault. I was a very shy kid that felt extremely alone and depressed until I confronted my shyness and made an effort to expand my horizons and social circle (along with improving my style and such). I can sympathize with people that still struggle with making friends/setting up relationships.

I try to make an effort to support these people as best as I can, by reaching out to invite them out, doing things they like to do, inviting them out to engage with our social circle, etc. However, there's a lot of people who don't realize that relationships and friendships are a two way street that takes effort on both sides.

For example, in high school/college, I knew a bunch of people who would purposely not pick up the phone to call anyone and see what was going on because they wanted to test who were "true friends." Of course, people wouldn't call (or would stop calling as often), and these people would claim they didn't have any friends. Doesn't work that way. You need to call.

Anyways, rant over - just fuck Elliot Rodgers. He needed to confront his narcissism, then he wouldn't be misogynistic.
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http://steamcommunity.com/id/argylius/

i dont give a shit
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>>16517813

Maybe your friend just assumed you already knew you were invited to the party?

I'll talk about my birthday to people and that means "I am acknowledging something is going on for my birthday, come if you want." I'm not going to send a printed invitation.
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>>16517955

So, basically, you went from autistic to basically normal?

That's a neat talent. I'm still stuck at phase 2 of 3, and everyone fucking hates me for it, basically. I try to get out of my comfort circle, do so, fail a fuckton until someone barely fits in my level, which is once again BARELY, and even then, I feel like that creepy kid in the shadows trying to talk to the visible ones.

My social life fucking sucks, but I'm still kinda trying to expand (and die trying). I got rejected so many times, it's fucking sad, but hey, smiles are for the strong, right?

Anyway, yeah, Elliot was a selfish bitch. I mean, really, I can't do anything about what I am except try to do better next time (as life's about failing until you win). I don't need anyone handed to me, as even family wasn't really handed easily. I had to work for some parts to earn their trust and become one with 500 people. It took long effort, but it REALLY paid off in the end. Now I'm sitting comfy with my granduncle in a casino, playing craps and sots until we're broke.
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>>16517965
They didn't even mention it though. I just figured they were doing something with their family, and then the next day they were telling me how lit the party was.

I honestly think it was just because he didn't want me around his other friends for one reason or another.
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>>16517955
You are very very correct on most ways!

>he expected everything to be handed to him
His mother also gave him everything he wanted, WHEN he wanted it. He had mad dosh. At one point he even had $5000 in pocket change. He did a lot of rich people things and did not seem to realize he was an upperclassman.

I think the problem is his father didn't teach him anything about girls. His peers didn't teach him anything about girls. Don't think he tried to go to /adv/ to get advice or help

>try to reach out to these struggling people
Thank you very much. I also agree with you that relationships (and friendships) are a 2 way street. That is, you need to invite yourself. You need to call to be called. You need to greet people for them to greet you back.

And then there's people like me who legitimately get tuckered out by talking to people.
Sorry. Plan backfired, guys.
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>>16517990

I wasn't "autistic" per se, but I learned to narrow some of the ridiculous (mostly nerdy) shit I talked about, stick to normal and uncomplicated things to converse about (sports, classwork, music, whatever), and tested reactions to some of the crazier stuff. As I worked on it, I became more and more popular and able to stay interesting.

Keep working at it man, it's not an overnight process. It'll get better.
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>>16518010

Yeah, but I think everyone is pretty confused about relationships, and most learn through trial and error. It sucks to have to learn that way, but getting girls is an inexact science. My dad gave me a shitton of advice, and he's ridiculously awesome with women.

I still had to go through a ton of cringeworthy moments before I finally became competent at it.

I read quite a bit of that manifesto and it looked like he never even asked a girl out - he expected them to walk up and beg him to fuck them. He didn't interact with them at all.

Not many people make my blood boil, but he does. (Maybe because I can see some of myself in him early on, and I unlearned all of those bad traits.)
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>>16518014

Aye. I'm still trying, but now apparently people dislike chiptunes. See, I try to find people who share at least ONE interest and I do wish to be a buddy towards them. I'm a poor sap who only lives off a bigass laptop and a 3DS, meaning while I have control over the world with my fingertips hitting the keys, I still can't find people who actually like me for my interests within the computer, you know?

(See, I love chiptunes, Hip Hop, Metal, R&B, Pop, ProgRock, some remixes, NuWave, and a shit-ton of others. For TV shows, let's be honest, I barely watch the new stuff, as I can only hold in so much info. Oz is the only show I truly remember from front to back [lol]. I have a shit-ton of games, but only on one branch of systems, which I doubt people like to talk about in a public setting. Sports kinda suck to me, but apparently people love them. Hell, no one wants to talk to me about classwork, despite me Acing the literature and writing classes. Bottom line, it's really hurting me moreso than usual. I get depressed at winters more easily.)
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>>16517719

I'm sure some variation of what I'm about to type up has already been said, gonna go ahead with it anyway:

The Supreme Gentleman wanted sex, he clearly stated this in his video. He was mad that people didn't want to have sex with him and he felt that he was entitled to sex due to the way he acted.

He was a sperg, plain and simple. If you want to help spergs then maybe you should dedicate your life to researching mental illness.
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>>16518051

Researching and helping those with mental illness sounds like something I would actually do. But what kind of money would come out of THAT? I need to make a living too
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>>16518055

I guess if you're not totally dedicated then you could do it on the side. Whenever you have free time instead of playing video games or whatever you could be researching.

Are you a kid? Do you not already have your life together?
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God I hate autistic people. Yeah, kill some people because you honestly think sex is the only thing that matters. Y'all fucking retarded.
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>>16518066
I've never fully had my life together. I'm 23.
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>>16518071
Kek
You've barely started life you fucking idiot.
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>>16518071

I guess after you get at least a bit stable you can start your life project.

Maybe you will discover something that will change the way mental illness is treated around the world and you'll never have to worry about money again.
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>>16518055
>>16518055
I'm not even joking with this next post.

Write a great dark-satire novel about someone just like him. Make it a best seller.
Your views will be projected into everyone and you'll have massive credibility on the subject of this.
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Elliot's emotions were warranted. His actions were not.
Plenty of other psychopaths that walk amongst us played a part in his behavior.
We all feel envious for what we can't obtain. Like how we hate Elliot for being wealthy and relish the fact that he's dead now.
It's easier to fool ourselves to disassociate us from the murdering psychopath.
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>>16518086
heh my boyfriend said something hurtful in that I've never had my life fully together, even at this age. I'll tell him what you just said.

>>16518094
This would be wonderful considering I have an autistic younger brother. I've often wished mental retardation didn't exist. I wanted to cure him.

Gosh, this is such a noble cause, but where do I start? :(

>>16518098
I suppose this is a good idea. Wow. This is actually a brilliant idea
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>>16518098

>just write a bestseller, do eet

You must be the guy who told J.K. Rowling, too
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The thing you need to understand, OP, is that compassion isn't about giving people wgat thwy want. It's about understandung them well enough to figure out what they need, and helping them get that. Even if it's not what they want. Even if they actively do not want it. Compassion can be a terrible thing.

Why am I telling you this? Because some 20 years ago, I was one of the very people you say you're trying to save. And I haven't forgotten what it was like, and how much I wish I wished someone would give me what I needed. Nor have I forgotten just how shattered I was when somebody did.

The thing you're missing, OP, is that the Elliots of the world don't lack for approval. Some of them do live in situations like you describe, but they find their own ways to get it. Elliot himself had the approval of many people on these forums. No, what the Elliots of the world lack is INTROSPECTION. They honestly don't see the approval they get, and more to the point, they don't see how their own actions prevent them from getting more. They do not see that they are the villains of their own stories. They don't understand that their exclusion is fair, not because of who they are but because of what they do, and that if they were to experience just a little personal growth, their exclusion would end shockingly quickly.

That is, to put it mildly, not a pleasant experience. The phrase "innocence lost" comes to mind. It is gut-wrenching and traumatic, and yet, if it is to be at all effective, that's what it has to be: the same trauma is what makes growth and change possible.

If you want to save the Elliots of the world, OP, this is what you have to give them. The lucky ones will recover quickly; others will be fucked up for years, and a few will never recover. Some will probably even kill themselves. Elliot certainly would have.

Are you prepared for that? You could do a lot of good, but it's going to hurt a lot of people, and some of then will die. Can you do that?
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>>16518114

>Gosh, this is such a noble cause, but where do I start? :(

Sorry, no idea. All my knowledge of psychology and human development is from a handful of upper division electives I had to take as an undergrad.
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All males have aggression inherently within themselves, but it can be channeled into so many different forms. In the case of the total social outcast that doesn't belong anywhere, that aggression is molded into absolute self loathing. Due to humans being unable to entirely hide their true thoughts, the self loathing is externalized into absolute hatred of everything around them.
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>>16518139
Interesting.
food for thought.
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>>16518121
>You could do a lot of good, but it's going to hurt a lot of people, and some of then will die. Can you do that?

Oh god :( On one hand I can't handle this big responsibility, but I also want to help. On one hand, introspection is something they need to develop themselves

>>16518139
Food for thought, no matter how true or untrue.
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>>16518139
I guess I must be pretty weird then because I love just about everything but myself.
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I don't have any friends and feel like no one cares about me. I have some friendly acquaintances but I don't know how to make friends now that I'm in college. I never know how to start conversations and when I get in them I get the feeling I either bore people or creep them out with my jokes (I have a dark sense of humor). I'm just not good in social situations and feel lonley all the time.
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>>16518177
I wouldn't worry about it.
Networking in college is needed for a career. But don't dwell on making best friends as much.

One day you will die. Then everyone who knew you will die, and it will be like you never existed.
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>>16518177
I want romantic relationships constantly, but I never feel good enough for anyone.
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