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Can't move on from one night stand

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My bf of four years was emotionally involved with someone else. I saw his texts and confronted him and he admitted to kissing her several times. At the time he wasn't apologetic, he didn't think it was a big deal, so I couldn't forgive him. After a few days, maybe it hit him? but he started apologising, he started accepting that he had wronged me. But because I was so hurt, so angry and scared to let myself back in I was torn between forgiving him or moving on in a different direction, so I took sometime off from him, and had a one night stand.
>>
cont.
I didnt want to have sex with this guy. But I was drunk and basically let him have his way with me. I didn't say yes to him but I didnt say no either. He took his condom off when I wasn't looking and by the time I realised I didn't know how long he had been doing it without the condom, I am so worried cause he has exposed me to all sorts of risks. I could have said no to sex after that happened but I carried on and asked him to put one on. which he did but took it off again a little later. A week later my bf had been apologising, trying to make it right so I went to see him and old emotions just came back and we ended up being together, the next day I told him about what happened, and hes been asking me all these questions about where the douchebag touched me, what he did, light on or off. This is hurting me so much and I know its hurting him to be wth a girl with such low self esteem. I just feel completey destroyed.
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>>16517244
break up with him
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Now it has turned from me being angry at him to me consoling him for what I have done... The best decision is to move away from everything. But we love each other so much
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>>16517244
OP, this is exactly why cheating (your bf cheated and was not sorry until he realized you would leave not that he understood he hurt you) is nearly impossible to overcome. Don't prolong your and his agony. End it.
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>>16517401
>But we love each other so much
uh, not

He was going to fuck or fuck and then leave you for this other girl. I have so sympathy for him and you do not owe him details of what you did when you were not in a relationship with him.
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>>16517244
>he cheats
>so i cheat back and say I'm drunk
You're both fucking awful. Dunno if i should tell you to break up or stick together.
Break up because you're both just fucking it all up more
Stick together because noone deserves cheating scum like either of you are.
You both disgust me.
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That attitude is completely uncalled for. Sure I did something digusting, and I am ashamed of it. But it doesn't define who I am.
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>>16517458
and you didn't cheat unlike your bf. You did this out of the pain of rejection and betrayal. The relationship will never be what it was before he strayed
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>>16517458
Once a cheater always a cheater is a saying for a reason. It defines you as much as an assault defines a violent lunatic and a robbery defines a robber.
Tell yourself whatever you want, but it won't change a thing.
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You obviously haven't got any advice for me, so do you just come here to judge people and it makes you feel better about yourself
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>>16517491
You want some actual advice? Stick together for the benefit of the rest of the world.
And bitch, you come here and whine about how fucking dumb the both of you are, and expect not to get judged? Newsflash, Everyone judges you. All the time. The only difference is that i speak my mind.
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>>16517511

Lol not OP but do you think you're so fucking edgy and "real"? I think she's aware that cheating isn't good, but rubbing it in that it's bad and being a condescending self righteous cunt isn't exactly constructive advice for her. If you're sooo disgusted then fuck off from the board lmao
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>>16517563
I would say white knighting isn't going to make her sleep with you, but she Probably would. After all, she just did it out of "the pain and fear".
There is no constructive advice to be had. Two fucking retards did what they do and fucked everything up. Breaking up would lead to each one doing the same thing again to someone else, and staying would mean that they're both miserable. Evidently they don't fucking love each other as much as at leat one of them claim, because if they did, NEITHER WOULD BE DOING SHIT ON THE SIDE.
The most fucking constructive thing she could get to hear is "stop lying to yourselves".
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Break up. You both don't value your relationship. He's a cheater and you don't take care of yourself. You exposed yourself to disease and pregnancy from a stranger all because you're so heartbroken? Quit acting like a child and assigning blame for your screw ups on other people.

This relationship has no trust and considering how immature you both act - it has no future.
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I say stick together so nobody else has to deal with you two crazy assholes.
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>>16517590
>stealing what I'm saying
Nigga.
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>>16517244
>>16517256

Sometimes the obvious answer is the right one. Break up. You say you really love each other, maybe sometime in the future you'll get back together, when you've both had time to move past this stuff.

Right now, neither of you can think of anything except the bad stuff that happened. You're just going to drive each other crazy, until any bond you had is REALLY destroyed beyond repair.

It's not good to be together now, not for either of you. Shit happened. Take a lesson from it, and move on.

And you should probably take an STD test too, your one-night stand sounds like a real creep
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As soon as I woke up the next day , i took the morning after and I am gonna have to wait for the std cause of the incubation period for infections. I will have to wait three weeks which is driving me absolutely insane with worry.
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Yeah, the relationship was already fucked and probably gonna end anyway after what he did, but now this is the final nail in the coffin. Cheating is cheating, but you still got barebacked by a guy while he apparently kissed some girl. Both are grounds for a breakup, but you know deep down in your heart that one is more easily forgivable than the other.
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>>16517474
>Once a cheater always a cheater is a saying for a reason
It's something said by people who are socially and mentally stunted, maybe. Just because you're unable to see beyond yourself and your own inability to change doesn't mean everyone else is too.
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I guess I have known the answer all along. I know the best things for both of us is to move away from eahcother. I posted here with a hope that maybe someone might have a different opinion lol. Thanks all so much for the suggestions
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I want to forgive and I want to move on from this. I just wish none of this had happened.
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>>16517641

That's life, though. It sucks, and everyone has felt like this at one point or another, but you can't take it back, and neither of you can force yourselves not to care that this stuff happened. All you can do is learn a lesson from it, and try not to make the same mistakes in future relationships. Sorry there's no better answer, but it is what it is
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>>16517435
this
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>>16517628
Bur you are dumb son.
>people can change!
>people make mistakes!
>only a sith deals in absolutes!
All examples of some of the stupid shit people scream when told "Once a cheater, always a cheater."

And it's just so laughably clear that you don't understand the saying.
Ever hear of an alcoholic? Someone addicted to alcohol?
Well there's a saying, "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic."
Try to connect the 2.
Now an alcoholic might change their ways, but they're still an alcoholic.
They may smarten up
They may find Jesus
They might hit rock bottom
They might spend 20 god dam years fighting against having a drink, but they're still an alcoholic.

You getting this yet? Like, say your 16 and your shitfaced at some party and pounding some ho. You, in your inebriated state, decide to rim this chick. And you lick that asshole real good, you are now an asslicker.
And you don't ever get to say "I'm not an asslicker" Ever Again. On your 60th birthday, still an asslicker.
Once an asslicker, always an asslicker.
Hope you get it now.
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>>16517244
>and had a one night stand
Here's where I think your retarded
What good does this do?
How does doing this help fucking anything?
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My boyfriend cheated on me and when I cheated on him, I felt no guilt, I felt pretty relieved after.
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