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/adv/, I'm losing it. I'm under so much stress right

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/adv/, I'm losing it. I'm under so much stress right now and my depression is resurfacing. I feel awful and my best friend hasn't been talking to me lately (instead he spends all his time hanging out with losers and trying out alcohol, parties, weed, etc) when I need him the most. My other friends are mostly acquaintances not friends and pretty much not worth going to for help.

I can't communicate with my parents at all and I need to talk this out... Please help me get my act together /adv/ I'm so lost
Friend here. Let loose OP :)
Hey friend. Yeah, I have a lot of problems right now. And if it was just one or a few of them I could likely deal with it but it's the combination of all these together that's really messing with me. I'm afraid, man. I'm terrified. And everything seems wrong. I can't see the positive in anything.

So long story short

>moved out of parent's house, finally starting to try independent adulthood
>mom gets diagnosed with degenerative disk disease (her spinal disks are screwing themselves over)
>dad gets diagnosed with his kidneys degenerating due to longterm alcoholism (same exact thing that killed his dad)
>both parents trying to guilt trip me for "abandoning them"
>major issues with my parents (long, long history of bad blood in our family. I'm talking arguments and violence and manipulation and the whole nine yards) so we cannot communicate with each other
>mother is leaving the US in January to go live in her home country and is probably not coming back for a long time
>parents getting divorced

That's just with my parents. I'll continue.
So I'm scared for my parents health and a friend died suddenly in a car crash earlier this year, so I realize that mortality is a very real fact. And I could lose them within a few years and that scares me, I have no control over it at all. I can hardly reconcile with them with things being as bad as they are and we have extreme trouble communicating as is. There's a lot of bitterness and anger built up.

Also, I'm trying to prepare for college. Trying to enlist in the military reserves (an important and meaningful goal for me that I don't want to screw up). And I need to learn to drive a car and get a job. Those are just personal stepping stones, but they're still stressing me out.

Plus, my social life is really on the low. I used to have an active and fun one but I let it go after high school to focus on myself and fixing my life. And now I really miss having an active one but most of all I miss my close friends.

I'm sorry to hear about all of this OP. I'm sure it's very hard. I understand the friend part, because I've lost 3 friends, including 1 really close friend who was practically my brother. It's difficult. But it's something you just have to accept and move on. As far as your parents, you just need to mentally prepare yourself that something may happen. Death is a part of life, even though it's shitty.

Also, it's good you want to go into the military. What Branch and MOS are you looking at?
And my best friend who is like, my rock, man. He's like a brother to me. We could always rely on each other and talk to each other for anything. Lately it seems all he cares about is his stupid friends who are (just being honest here) teenage losers. Hearing him talk about them is like reading a humorless version of the American Pie screenplay or something. And we keep arguing because I don't support his new alcohol and drug use and it's caused a rift between us.

So now I've (at least temporarily) lost the one solid guy I could rely on to talk about all my problems with. The one guy who makes me feel better through all the shit.

There's more problems I guess but those are probably the main/more pressing ones.
Thank you anon. I was unprepared for her death and it really hit me. I'd never had any relatives or friends die before. And I'm just really sad and worried about my parents. I would hate for our last memories together to be more memories of arguments and spite.

Well, I came very close to going active duty Army for 35M. But a mess-up happened with the recruiter so about half a year later I changed my mind. I decided that college is important and I want that accomplished first. I'm trying for Navy Reserves hopefully an intel job.

You should just try your best to make good memories with your parents. Do your best. That might make it easier for you.

I was in the Army for 5 years as a 11B. Military is a good choice, although I'd recommend Active Duty over Reserve. I think it would be a good fresh start. But I guess giving your parents health. Reserves might be the best choice.
Yeah. I will try and talk to them, but it's really hard. I went through a ton of horrible stuff just this year because of them. Fresh wounds, so to speak. I'm hoping a few months away from them will help us all cool off and then I can try and patch things up.

Thank you anon. I would've liked active duty, but yeah as things are reserve is a better choice. I could always switch over in later years.

If they are getting divorced don't try to stop it. I was a kid when my parents divorced and I was thrilled when they did. It might make it easier on them. So just try to spend time with both of them seperately.

And regardless if you go Reserve or Active. The military will be good for you.
I'm not trying to stop it. I actually have wanted them to separate for years now because they are really bad for each other and cannot get along. They often took out their stress/problems on me and I found myself playing the messenger and middleman and getting flak from both sides.

Unfortunately they still live in the same house (albeit in separate areas of it). So it's hard spending time with one without attracting attention from the other. When my mom goes back to her home country my dad will be by himself... But then my mom won't even be here.

Yeah, I feel it will too. I'm looking forward to it all.
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