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Allright, new to this, but I need some advice from people that aren't bias.
Me and my now ex-girlfriend broke up a month ago. She stated the following: "Before we got into a relationship (which happened to us by just falling in love instantly) I had decided for myself it wouldn't be healthy for me to be in one. But, we got together, and I loved it. But, if I am to be with someone, I need someone that is doing the same amount of work to his career as I am. I can't be with someone who slows me down, who isn't fighting their way to the top (we're both musicians).
Things have been going really well for me this year as a musician, I have done massive shows with great bands, tours, you name it. But everything kind of happens to me; I never put in any effort. Or, let's just say, I can always put in more effort. I'm fortunate to have these opportunities presented to me and I seise them all. But, the last couple of months I've been slacking again. I haven't finished school yet (she has and she started at the school 2 years later than I did), and I have not done all I can to make it.
Also, I still live with my parents due to lack of money (also, don't have a job). She lives in her own place (bought by her parents btw..). Oh, and she's 5 years older than me which made her say: "I was also at a different point in my life when I was your age" and, "If we would have met in 7 years I would have settled with you".
I think she's the one for me, And I am the one for her. We balance each other out, it's not like anything I've ever encountered before.
So, here's my question. Should I or should I not fight for her? Should I try everything to better myself in order to get her back? Should I follow my heart, even though she's told me several times "it's not going to be more than this at this time".
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I can't tell you who to fight for, but from your story you haven't been doing much fighting in the first place, son
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>>16514835
This is exactly why she broke up with me. It's something I've been running into for years and years, and I've been wanting to change that. This sure triggered me to do so..
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>If we would have met in 7 years I would have settled with you
>settled
I would never be capable of forgiving this statement.
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>>16514849
Well, this is me recalling the conversation. But I don't think she actually said settled. More like "I wish I would have met you in 7 years time, things would be different"
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>>16514841
So now you know your problem and know how to fix it. The next step is putting one foot in front of the other. The first door is your own.
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>>16514860
I agree, and I'm kind of stoked to be working at it. It's just fucking painful, that's what it is. It kills me.
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>>16514876
Leave and get to work. You should have started yesterday
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>>16514817
It sounds like you are a dipshit who does doesn't really want to put effort in but wants others to believe that you do.
You supposedly do massive shows, but have no money.
You don't do anything to better yourself or the relationship
You live with your parents and thought her living and paying bills in somewhere that her parents bought brought her close to your level.
If you want a chance at getting her back, fight for her by getting a job and working on improving yourself as a person, otherwise doss about on 4chan and complain about your oneitis leaving your lazy arse because you had it so easy and she didn't.
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>>16514891
Playing massive shows as a musician doesn't mean you're getting paid, that's the whole problem with being one in the first place. But I get your point.
I am currently bettering myself. I am looking for a place to live, am writing a concept on how to be financially independent and started to take up teaching again.
The thing is, if you would have said this to me 2 months ago I would have agreed with you. But atm this is not the case. Which is the whole problem because that's the reason she broke up with me. But I've never been like that in my head, and now I am not like that in real life anymore either.
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>>16514849
Youre butt triggered too easily. "Settled with" is very different from "settled for".
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>>16514906
>I am looking for a place to live, am writing a concept on how to be financially independent
I'm glad you can ask yourself for advice on something that you can't manage.
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>>16514939
This is not something I am doing on my own. I've turned to people for help on how to do it.
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