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How to deal if ex messages me again

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Together 2.5 years, broke up like 2 months ago because of distance and her losing feelings. Broke my heart but was getting over it.

I messaged her a couple of times that week and she was cold, so i stopped. Last week she sends me a picture of her face saying hey... I say hey back but imagine its a mistake. A few days later she adds me back on skype where i deleted her, and messages me all like "you deleted me ;( i miss the good old times <3 we really need to talk things out cuz i feel we didnt end things properly..." Etc. so we talk again later that night but never ended up talking things out, but she ended saying "i need to sleep though, classes really early :)... So i think we should talk some other time. See you anon <3".

And that was the last time we spoke, a week ago now, and she hasnt logged on since as i expected. I dont even know if she will message again but i somewhat expect she will. SHE was the one who said we should talk again... So if she messages me, what do i do? Keep in mind i kind of want to win her back if i can, but if not its ok. She keeps asking if ive met someone or fucked someone. Should i tell her i did meet someone? Should i ignore her? Or should i keep talking and just be casual and funny like our last convo?
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Cut yourself off, block her on everything, it's the only way.
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>>16513762
I understand and expected that response. But what if i still genuinely care about her as a person? Keep in mind, we ended things relatively well, mostly because of distance, and she is a girl who has battled depression and has issues in her life. And i know, i guess she doesnt need me anymore. But at the same time i find it hard to just abandon her without any word... Should i ever message her asking if she wants to have that talk? And tell her if she doesnt think well work out and doesnt feel she needs my help, that i will ill need to say goodbye for good to her? I mean, before this last convo i just figured she didnt give a fuck and forgot about me... But clearly she is somewhat... Upset about it at least
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>>16513756

>>16513762
This. OP, she just wants to keep you around as a last resort. Do not fall for this.
You said it yourself, she wanted to talk things out but didn't when she had the chance.
>i find it hard to just abandon her without any word
I know that feeling, yet it is the only way if you don't want to get hurt.
By all means, if you want to stay friends, then be friends. However I do not see you two being happy together in the future.
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>>16513824
True.. Thanks. But you really think it would hurt less to just block her then to say goodbye? I know it could go either way but i feel like if she at least said some sweet words and showed sadness when i say bye that ill feel i can close that chapter positively.

I dont know, i suppose im in denial about her just "using" me like that. I feel like she genuinely wanted to talk and just see how i was doing at least, on a whim.
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>>16513864
From what you wrote it seems like she isn't able to say goodbye. Either let your next talk be the last, or cut her off now.
I would prefer it if both parties could agree on closing the chapter, it just seems unlikely that this person will accept that.
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I remeber you Op, everyone told you several times to block her from everything and move on, you are just going to get the same responses this time.

It's hard, i know. In fact i'm in the same situation right now, about 3 weeks without talking to her and she is on my mind every single day. Last time we spoke was because she was late on her period and reached to me for "comfort". Some friends told me it was an excuse and she just wanted to talk to me, i agree (i know her) but fuck it, if she can't even say to me "hey i miss you" it's not my problem.

The next day she told me "hey i got my period", we spoke a little, i tried to ask her how she was doing, her studies, etc and she was cold as fuck (same thing as you) so i just said "gotta go, bye" and that was it. Women are like that dude, don't try to understand it, just accept it

I know it's hard but it's time to move on, reach to friends/family/studies/hobbies and you will survive, things will eventually get better, you will meet new people and new girlfriends will come.

Good luck

(sorry for my bad english)
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>>16513756
>I can't keep talking to you. I don't want to keep talking to you. It's prohibiting me from moving on. This will be the last message you receive. I wish you the best in life.

If it were me, I'd block her after I send it. Simply because I can tell you're emotionally weak for this chick, and it's likely that she will pull so abloo-bloo-bloo BS to tug at your heart strings and trick you into more conversations. Nope. Enough is enough. Bye bye baby. You don't need her. What I wrote above isn't cold, it's the truth and it's in your best interest. At the end of the day you need to be your #1 priority. I guarantee you that this chick thinks she's #1. You're more like 4, 5, 6 or worse. You just happen to be the one she knows she can get something out of easily. Don't be that guy. Be your own #1 and move on now.
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>>16513897
>>16513890
Blah, i guess you guys are right. Thanks for sharing... I dont know if i can send that message just yet, but it might come to it soon.
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God damnit
So she just IMed me , "hii"
I caved and said hi. Shes like "what are you doing <3" still using hearts. I told her i was with my family and she said "oh ok have a good night <3" ...

Why is she giving me hearts and shit? Maybe she really does miss me...
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>>16513756
You are being groomed to be her obedient little pathetic c uck once she gets tired of riding the cock carousel at her college.

If you value your manhood at all, you can be cordial and friendly towards her, much like a dog pissing on the rug she doesn't quite understand what she's doing so there's no reason to hold ill will against her, but also do not expose any weakness, be brief, concise and only message her if she messages you first.
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>>16513756
Ignore. From experience nothing good will come of it.
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you are the back burner
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It depends on the girl OP. If you guys are normies, I would say dump her because what others have said is mostly true: you're a backup.

But from some of your posts it sounds like she's somewhat of a robot....? I would only consider keeping up with her because you said somewhere that you broke up due to distance, which is totally reasonable, and does not mean she is instantly on the cock carousel.
Who broke up with whom here?
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>>16515843
Thanks for the response.

Well, in the last few weeks i knew in my gut that something was wrong on her end, and so i brought it up, and said that we should break up. She respectfully admitted the distance was becoming too much, we spent the night together, and that was it.

I knew she wouldnt be able to break up with me. I was her first long term boyfriend. So i wanted to do it as soon as i really picked up on things, as to make the hurting less.

I wouldnt necessarily say a robot but yes, she never went out too much, only had a couple friends which she didnt see often, and never had sex with anyone else before me. But, shes at a new school with her female cousin and a bunch of new people and she was starting to go out more... So i wasnt all that surprised...

But, shes told me she hasnt been with anyone since me, which i can definitely believe, as she unfortunately has low self confidence and stuff.

It makes me think that its true about the distance mixed with her having an actual opportunity to have a better social life of her own, which i do understand, sad as it is. I just am trying to understand where the messages come from then. I just dont know, idk if she is actively searching for a boyfriend, for a hookup, or even found anyone, so its hard to tell the context, but my current theory is that she just simply wants to have a little friendly conversation as she misses me in the moment, but still wants to get over me.
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>>16513756
Whether its intentional or not, she is exploiting your emotions for her own selfishness. She wants you for some perverse emotional satisfaction but doesn't even want to consider committing to anything. Do not kowtow to her manipulation, cut that bitch off.
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>>16516032
Thanks, yeah, id like to think its not intentional and that the satisfaction comes from her genuinely missing me. And although its not the same as wanting to grt back together, thats also nice in a way and i almost feel better now then i did before with her not messaging me at all. My mind was going crazy wondering if she ever even loved me at all and such, but i feel a lot more confident about what our relationship was now. So i think this was good regardless of anything coming out of it.
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She's just using you anon, straight up ignore her
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>>16516332
I appreciate the input but i find it really hard to believe shes just like viciously using me. Id like to think more in lines of what >>16515843 said.
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NEVER GIVE WOMEN CLOSURE

Just go radio silence and cut them from your life forever.

You already fucked up on that, so at least damage control.
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>>16516961
Ugh... Why... Its so fucking hard to ignore, and it gives me some closure as well to be honest. Id rather get some friendly hearts from her than... Idk, her hating me.
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>>16516961
>NEVER GIVE WOMEN CLOSURE
WHY?
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>>16516992
heh, pussy beta bitch, you don't even realize what is happening or what she's doing
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>>16517002
>>16516992
Read this.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3lgvtx/datingrelationship_closure_and_the_vanishing_the/

inb4 reddit, just fucking read it
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>>16517009
Hmm, yeah i gotcha, and a lot of that makes sense. Anyways, the way ive been respondingn so far i think has been good and decent. I havent opened up too much, but im cordial and friendly enough, and just seeming like i dont care much. I think thats definitely been working in not making her think im more pathetic lol, as shes been all cutesy in these convos and ive just been kind of regular. Been following what >>16515062 said. Not messaing her, but will be friendly if she responds, because as he said she is like a dog pissing on the rug not knowing what she is doing exactly, which i kind of believe.
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>>16517050
Better yet ive actually been sexting / planning to meet this one girl

So ill let my ex keep IMing me every so often and let her keep me in her mind somewhat while i try to move on regardless.

That would be nice
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>>16517050
or read this

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBluePill/comments/1prbbo/ive_denounced_trp_lifestyle_the_red_pill_is/
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>>16517276
But confused, doesnt seem to relate to me, but thanks.
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>>16517299
It's about the advice you are given here. Some of it is reasonable but it comes mixed up with all this negative bullshit. Like the pissing on the rug.
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>>16517311
What is negative about that? I am still inclined to believe she isnt necessarily aware of how she is affecting me emotionally and is simply trying to connect in whatever way she wants. I think ive come to terms that i dont necessarily mind, and prefer this to say, her telling me to fuck off. I think im ok and can continue to move on regardless of her messaging me once in a while. I dont feel like ignoring her or burning a bridge. Ill just man up start to care less and be casual. Thanks though.
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I was in a similar situation 8 months ago, OP. she still calls me every once in a while, which goes to auto reject(it shows in my logs on my phone). She and all of our commin friends are also blocked on all social media.

Does it ever completely heal? God knows, but it hurts less now.
Thread posts: 31
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