Girlfriend Won't Fuck

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Communication!

When you talked with her about this, and told her how important physical intimacy is for you, what did she say?

>>16512787
She's probably not attracted to you.

Honestly I'd just flirt with other women because: a) it'll show she's not the best you'll ever have (which I bet she thinks) and; b) you might meet somebody better

>>16512794
How? I think the last time I tried to talk with her about it she refused.

It has been a really long time since then, though....

>>16512787
If you're not religious, then just do someone else. We are animals, just do what your instincts are telling you.

That's rather - weird.

Did she have a slutty phase and is now trying to be a "good girl"?

>>16512806
Yes, exactly 100%. She is obsessed with trying to be a good girl now that she is done with her "slutty phase."

Erm. Is she super religious? Was she molested or something? I'm not trying to be rude, but just shutting your partner out physically for months is kind of ... not okay. Not unless both partners are on board (shared religious belief in the value of abstinence, etc.)

Honestly, after three months I'd bring it up gently but directly. Like: sweetie, we really need to talk about this. Is there something going on here that I don't understand?

>>16512811
All sluts like sex but not all that like sex are sluts.

>>16512811
Aww. I went trough that too. I haven't had sex for 5 years until i finally was able to work on my relationship with sex again.

I could go into detail and explain what she's going trough if you care, but i won't type that out if you don't give a fuck.

>>16512811
Posted before I saw this. Have you had a really serious heart-to-heart about this? Because it's absolutely ridiculous to think that "good girls" can't kiss or have sex within the bounds of a committed and loving relationship. If she can't see that ... I'd be tempted to walk, honestly.

>>16512812
From what she's told me she has experienced some fairly terrible sexual encounters.

Not molestation in the traditional sense (or at least not as far as I know) but she went through this love triangle with two guys that resulted in her getting raped by some guy and then her fucking his married brother or something like that.

She's traumatized, that much I'm sure of. She swears by religion now but I think she is just seeking some sort of forgiveness for the things she's been through.

>>16512820
Please tell me what it took for you to become open to it again.

Personally I have had extremely low confidence until I started hanging out with my girlfriend. Once we started spending more time together I gained back my mojo and have been feeling good enough about myself to want sex.

I need some perspective on how she feels.

>>16512824
Is she seeing someone? She really needs to.

I'm really not trying to ruin your relationship. If you care enough about her to stay with her, and be completely patient and understanding, then more power to you, you're a great guy. Personally I'm not sure I'd be able to cope with a relationship with no physical aspect at all -- it's not fair for her needs to completely supersede yours. Regardless of whether you can deal until she feels comfortable and safe enough to reintroduce physical affection back into her life, she really needs to talk to a professional. No ifs ands or buts.

>>16512841
Maybe you guys are right.

I have been approaching this thing the wrong way - I've been trying to do it with hardcore seductive tactics.

I think I just need to talk to her about all of this.

>>16512850
That is definitely a step in the right direction. Forget practicality; it's also just the way to approach this.

>>16512850
Stop fucking with her.
I've been religious ever since i was raped when I was little, and it gives me peace and allows me to function like a normal person.
If you succeed in "seducing" her, it would lead her to feel immense guilt and likely spiral in to depression.
Stop trying to change her- if you two are not sexually compatable then it is time to move on. If you're willing to sacrifice her mental and emotional well being for your own list, then you obviously don't have her best interest at heart.

>>16512832
I can only speak for myselfe, but i guess that a lot of girl who go trough a slutty phase have somewhat similar stories.

She most likely regrets her past very much and has realized how bad she has hurt herself with her ways. She probably is afraid of her own sexuality. I knew that i had to stay abstinent untill i have grown as a person enough to not get washed over. I got ALL my validation trough sex and it was hard to stay away. I felt deprived and went into a very bad depression. I guess she is afraid to unleash her sexuality again because it's wired all wrongly and it's very strong. I didn't even masturbate during that time. And my first attempt at invorporating sensuality into my life went horribly wrong. Now, a year after and with medication and therapy i am on my way to try again. It's fucking scary and i feel already feel a tad overwhelmed again.

What you can do is this: try to learn her how to get validation that isn't linked to sexuality. Make her feel like her sexuality is beautiful, natural and that you love it. She most likely wishes she were a pure and innocent virgin, because she feels that she's not worth you otherwise. Make her feel that you are ok with her not being that angel on a pedestal and that you love her none the less and still hold her high after she has sucked your dick or whatever. Give her the opportunity to be loved for her innocent and cute attributes as well as her wild, sensual and maybe even slutty sides.