Last one reached bump limit... When I get angry and upset I

>>16512711
Seek therapy.

I started dating a girl, and we've been on 5 dates now. We clicked so incredibly well I almost felt like it was going to fast, except we haven't had sex yet. There's been some touching and feeling but really this is bugging me. I'm not sure if she is maybe super inexperienced or prude or just not that attracted to me. How to find out? Is this an appropriate time to just bring it up like "hey we've been seeing each other for a while and I'm wondering why we haven't had sex yet". I'm not sure what a normal timeframe is, with last relationships it was always within 1-2 dates.

Sometimes I feel like she doesn't care about me at all... Now is one of those times. Maybe she just doesn't know how to show it, either way I'm feeling bad.

>>16512984
i made my bf wait a year until sex lol

d--don't forget about me... I miss you. I want to be important, too...

>>16513055
Yeah but he obviously is some beta chump. I'm definitely bailing if this goes on for several more weeks, I'm just wondering if this is a right time to ask her about what's up with that.

>>16513074
you're probably just an ugly cunt lel

>>16513084
that's why you made your bf wait? because he's an ugly cunt?

Ever since my Sister's suicide I've gone from a popular, care-free guy to a bitter and resentful loser. I can't mantain relationships with people and I have a hard time even standing up for myself. I want things to get better but my confidence is shot completely, even though I know rationally it's not my fault.

Apparently my new thing now is to wake up at 4:30 in the morning and think about you.
This really is just terrible

>>16513065
Why do you always stutter? Makes me imagine you as a pimply faced, insecure teenage girl. Idt it's cute one bit. S-s-sorry!

>>16513332
It's fine because I am a pimply faced teenage girl. Working as intended. Idk about other anons though.

>>16513360
Missed the insecure bit. That applies too.

>>16513113
My gf killed herself years ago and I went through something similar. Im jisy now starting to get back on my feet. Dealing with suicide is just a fucking hard thing to do, especially when you find the body and their mental breakdown was a result of your actions. Feels like you killed the one person you tried to care for. Eh, fuck it

>>16513362
>>16513360
Such a shame. Wash your face, grab some makeup, and get off the computer. Start living your life :)

motherfuckers. motherfuckers everywhere.

>>16513140
You're beautiful.

>>16513459
You, too. :) I feel you man.

>>16513524
T-thank you?! What're your initials?

Please help, I just want this to end so I can eat and brush my teeth normally. On November 20 I had all 4 wisdom teef out. I followed my post-op surgery paper as best I could. Dentist didn't tell me everything of course. The paper said to rinse and/or gargle with salt water as much as you needed. So I did. Ended up with 2 dry sockets. A week later I'm still in pain, and there's a gaping hole where my one impacted tooth used to be. That's what's bothering me most now. Oh god when's it going to end? So scared all the time, wake up in middle of the night hurting and panicking and shaking...

Besides that awful brown foul paste they gave me, how can I speed up the healing of this dry socket?

I want to see you. I like to look at you, even tho I can't talk to you. I wish you would come to me. I want you.

I'm feeling very lost and unmotivated. My stomach is in knots and my head is so fucking heavy.
I'm so afraid to go back to school because I'm surrounded by everything that reminds me of you. It makes me feel so isolated.

>>16513140
Initials?

>>16513687
DL

I tried my very best, but it has happened again. Why again, do I really deserve it?

I don't feel like living.

Your mother contacted me and said she doesn't want me taking to you anymore because you have a tender heart. She said that we can't be friends, because you love me too much, yet I know you appreciate when I reach out to you. Isolating you would be the worst thing to me, because I know I still want to be there for you.

I told her your family was choking you and that you didn't have your own space, but she didn't listen to that one bit. I knew it was going to happen, I knew I was going to get denoted as the "problem" sooner or later.

I hope you're doing alright, I was supposed to keep that on the "DL", but I've never been one guy hide things from you. Besides, I'm just plain bad at it

>>16513725
T?

>>16513599
Long shot, but Initials?

I was abused as a kid, have possible PTSD and my therapist thinks I'm too unstable for PTSD therapy.
My workmates are noting increased aggression, I'm sad, mad and I want to end everybody. I've been looking for answers for ages, and it tortures me.

I've admitted myself to see a therapist 3 times now and no progress, only more anger. I've warned them enough times, soon I'll give them a wake up call

>>16512711
I'm
>>16513883

Next time you feel like that go out for a walk. I used to smash shit up too

I don't give a fuck about a lot of things since I know a lot of people have it worse.

Life sucks but at least I'm not Anthony Burch

love is like a gun if your not careful It will kill you!
Sincerely your fellow anon

>>16513862
Femanon

Dumb ass me. Googled you and found a dating profile. Probably old , but my heart sunk, 1 because we have more in common than I thought. And 2 you were active. Maybe you were looking before I even talked to you tho. Or always are. Maybe you are just shocked I like you, or I'm really just an idiot for opening my mouth. I don't know yet because I am still unsure how you feel. My shitty relationship kinda shattered my self confidence. I need that back .

I've peaked in my life already and I'm only 18. I had a once in a life time opportunity. I met the girl of my dreams and she liked me. It was meant to work out, and it would have, only I suffer from pretty much every fucking sexual dysfunction possible. Not only do I not last long, I struggle to get it up sometimes as well. She left me. She didn't say it was because of this, and when I asked her, she denied that it had anything to do with it, but I know that it did. That's it. I've lost the best chance I ever had at the life I wanted. I will never find a girl as beautiful and cool as her that likes me ever again, and even if I do, they're just going to leave me too.

I don't enjoy anything in life. I go out with friends and I'm miserable, I stay indoors and I'm miserable. I go to counselling and I feel like I'm not worthy of being there. I get offerred SRRI and I don't take it because the side effects just make it worse.

There's nothing for me to do. I don't want to live anymore, and I wish to hell I wasn't from the UK so I could shoot myself.

>>16514179
I'd end you if you're in the SW

>>16514183
No idea what that is

hooked up with a guy i met on tinder, not sure if it was because i hadn't got any in a while but the sex was amazing.

We met up about 4 more times before i found out he had been dating my sister the whole time. They're still together and it makes me sick that he'd do something so fucked up but i couldn't bring myself to tell her even if i knew how.

>>16512711
Im so fucking depressed and alone and i dont know how to get help.

>>16514188
South West. Kill you

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People need to push away politics and the media out of their lives. They are such liars and they're destructive. Becoming so attached to such outlets makes people so hateful and negative. The weak and frail minded are so easily swayed to evil ways; and so quick to accept falsehoods as truths.

>>16512711
I'm in a relationship that I hate and I have tried to break things off with her, but she came over crying and what not and we talked and so on, that was 2 months ago and I still hate the relationship. I don't see a future with this person and I constantly find myself enjoying times where I am alone, or at work, or busy with something else, just so that I don't have to see/ hear/ talk to her. I have told her before that this isn't fun for me, but she said she wanted to try and make things better. It hasn't gotten any better. We do not click, we are not interested in the same things, and she is way to shy, she gets angry when I go out without her. While all this may look like bitching and whining to many of you, I think of it in a different way, if someone is in my life and they are not actively making it fun, or good, or whatever, I want to move on, I want to be happy. With this person, I am not happy.

>>16514179
Time will heal this wound. I thought I was done for when I was 18 and dumped on my b day, blah blah blah long story. Get a job, make friends with co workers, you'd be surprised that the work doesn't matter, you really just go there to talk, and work just happens later. Go out more, and be actively seeking social interaction with others. Talk to people and such. It gets better, you're gonna find a girl better looking than her as well. Keep your eyes open, and head up.

>>16514256
Thanks. The reason it's hard is because I suck at social interraction so to get in a relationship is hard enough, to get in one with someone like her was basically next to impossible so that's why I struggle to see it happening again. I know that means I have to self improve but I'm not in the right mindset to leap up and start being all jolly and shit.

I might look into getting a job though. Really, thanks for the reply.

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I'm a bit silly and I always have trouble choosing gifts even though I'm poor enough not to make them.

I have a friend that treats me like a son. She already has kids but she's been great. Sure I care about my mom but she's a good mom with pretty much anyone. She's really fond of me.

Now I want to give her a christmas gift, just a little detail. I know she says that it's just the thought that counts but I'm not sure about gifts targeted to moms. It'd probably feel weird if I gave her a gift like that and her kids saw it.

>>16514336
You can give her a "mom" gift without saying "mom" on it, like a gift certificate for a massage, fluffly slippers, lotion and bath bombs, etc.

There is so much to say, but there are no words that can describe it.
This seems to be the problem. If you have a short/small dictionary of words, than you won't be succesfull in this life. Mainly because you cant describe your feelings, so you won't be abble to understsnd yourself. Nor can you understand other people.

So you live in a small circle with very little words to communicate.
You must learn several languages.

I hate Christmas. I'm trying to save to go back into education and barely make enough money as it is, then this shit holiday comes up and I have to spend money I can ill afford to give away on a bunch of shit for people. And if I don't get them anything, they'll get pissed and think I'm a prick. Seriously, fuck this stupid holiday.

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I'm on the road to just shooting myself.

It doesn't really matter, I will die one day any way. I just can't take the pressure any more. The people staring at me, pitying me. Being disabled is fucking horrible! The loneliness has warped my mind and I feel sick. I don't want to spend anymore time feeling this way.

I know that I am pathetic and I know I should just man up but, its easier this way.

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I just realized I'm envious of an institutionalized aspie. I already liked her, but I only just figured out why.

She's been abandoned as a child, and throughout her childhood she's gone through several foster families, each one sicker than the last. She is no longer allowed to manage her finances herself, and there is a small army of caretakers that try to control her life. They regularly force her to go out on group trips with her group of neighbors, people she has zero interest in or relation to. She has no rights of her own, and wherever she's gone, people have tried to hurt or wrong her. She hit rock bottom a year ago, and only recently got the opportunity to start climbing back up.
That's how she tells it.

But since that rock bottom, her life bettered. She has friends among those neighbors, not great ones but not too bad either. Her caretakers do what they can to help, even if they're incompetent at times. Those group trips get her out of the house, let her see the world and all that.
She went back to school. It's a lot of work for her, but one classmate volunteered to help her out and actively does so. Then there's another classmate who pretty obviously has a thing for her, takes her out and also tries to help her where he can. On top of that, she has old friends she meets with occasionally.
It took a bit of persistent calling and mailing, but her finances are finally sorting themselves out. After that's done, she's pretty much back to the average student's level of independence.
So basically, she improved a ton in a relatively short amount of time. She went from zero to something, and things are still looking up for her.

Then there's me, fawning over a girl on /adv/ all day, with no friends, no goals, no outings, and no finances to begin with. And I'm not even institutionalized or autistic. I feel pathetic.

But hey, at least I'm not a frogposter I guess?

>>16513886
How old are you now anon?

I've never not felt ugly. But intellectually, I realize that things happen to me because I must be attractive. People often tell me that I am. I get approached by women and I realize this is rare. I've had around 20 sexual partners.

I'm not autistic. I'm good at reading body language and I can usually parse out when someone is into me. I think I have some kind of dysmorphia stemming from childhood abandonment and abuse. I really love being a man. I even like a lot of aspects of my physical being. Most of the time I even like my penis. It's been complimented. I'm very spoiled in all of these ways.

But for some reason, I find my appearance repulsive. I hate looking at myself in photographs. I hate recordings of my voice. I hate things I create. I even hate pictures of myself as a child. I used to be so preoccupied with how ugly I was that I felt I owed it to strangers to hide myself. I was at my most suicidal when I'd think about how irredeemably ugly I was.

Most of the time it's not as bad as it used to be.

People seem genuinely puzzled by this. Even my therapists.

I don't know where it all went wrong. I sit down and I think about it a lot. We were so happy together. Then you flipped almost over night. You pulled away. You didn't want to see me anymore. I think you found someone else but you just didn't want to seem like the asshole. You called me that once. Do you remember? You called me a "Piece of shit. An asshole like all the rest." Its when you were drunk so I let it go and you claimed to not remember. I think you want to forget.

You were always so honest with me. Why did you stop all of the sudden? If you've moved on, just fucking tell me. Right now, I think you are exactly what you called me. I only strived to treat you right.

>>16515363
Meditate staring into your eyes (in a mirror) for as long as you can, every day, until condition improves

I'm tired of living. I've been dealing with these feelings for something like 13 years now. No sign of them going away. I can't kill myself because it would destroy my husband and my mother. I am not worthy of life. I am tired of pretending. I wish I could set fire to myself, Instead, I am stuck here.

I feel if i don't start a relationship i can never get hurt, that's why i only flirt but never ask anyone out

I spent 4.5 years studying to become a teacher, and I did very well at the secondary level, but I can't hack elementary stuff. I don't know if I'm just incompetent, got stuck in a shit situation, or if life just decided to take a shit on me or what, but I'm struggling so much. I don't sleep well anymore, I dread going to my student teaching placement (but I loved going to my secondary placement) and when I'm at my school I count the minutes until I can leave. I hate that it's going like that, and I only have a drive for secondary education, but my professors won't accept that. I feel like all the professors that don't assign the grades are trying to help me, but the one professor that is supposed to help advocate for my success is cutting me down in private.

Hurrying up and dump your boyfriend already, I have no reason to hate him is why I hate him

I think the only reason I'm still here is because I'm scared of pain and death.

I really don't know what I'm doing anymore, but I guess I'll just go with it. I have to stay positive.

>>16515965
Initials?

Hey, I had a really fun time with you today. I got my work done when I got home and even though it was chilly out, I felt perfectly happy walking in the cold.
I know you still do, and I do too. But it almost feels like I'm falling for you all over again. It's so strange but so refreshing.
I don't think finishing up this semester will be so bad after all.

>>16514179

lol.

Yo dude, The same goddamn thing happened to me. You SOUND like me.

A couple things.

One, go out and get some Viagra. Keep a little pill in your wallet at all times so next time you are out and about and meet a girl and you guys go to bang, you can pop that in the pub bathroom. By the time you get home you will be hard as a rock and will last way longer. It will help you get over your sexual problems. It helped me!

Second, don't stress about the girl. At 18 I thought I lost the love of my life as well. I'm 28 now, married to a girl who is 100000% better, in both looks and personality than my old flame.

18 is extremely young and is when you are allowed to beat yourself up and make mistakes. Don't stress.

>Fee-fi-fo-fum

That's you right now you fucking ugly faggot. There is no absolutely no need to race up the stairs at 1 in the morning and bother everyone. Tell your faggot relative to be quiet as well. You then have the nerve to go and complain that no one likes you? Grow up and behave for a change.

>>16515247
I was smashing shit up and stopped when I was 20/21. I'm 23 now

I think 98% of what people believe is self serving bullshit.
I believe people are secretly fearful they're not good enough, so they turn to criticizing others and projecting on them.
I have tested people's instant go-to's when it comes to their competitive social identities.
I find it hard to have empathy for a species that intentionally cycles in circular self-serving logic in order to justify it's unnecessary dishonest competitive edge.
I've discovered there is no force on earth that can make the average human being admit to being flawed, or admit to being presumptuous, or admit to being flawed and dishonest because they're subconsciously selfish and biased liars.

I think I'm a psychopath.

I check every single one of the conventional boxes. Disregard for the law and safety of others, compulsive lying to get myself out of trouble, obsessiveness over anything I take an interest in, intense pride in the appearance I put up, complete and utter inability to feel regret, and lack of empathy, even a degree of twisted pleasure, when I see people or animals in pain.

I thought these things were normal. I've always had trouble fitting in socially because of them, but I figured that was just something everyone deals with. Then I found out those were the traits of psychopathy. Now I don't know what to do.

Just fucked my friend's girlfriend.

They're poly supposedly, but I've never done this before, I'm a little anxious about hurting my friend. The sex is mind-blowing though. She is incredibly kinky, and he is not, so she was very eager..

Having trouble keeping my emotional distance though. Hard to tell what's okay and what's not.

>>16516421
I like how you said that like you're above them. A flawless outside observer on deceitful stupid little humans.

lmao what was that about projecting?

I want to confess to the guy I like. We have so many common interests. We even stop and admire the same scenes in the movies we like, and we get enthusiastic about our similar career goals and creativity.

I like him so much, but he is so kind and friendly to everyone, that I'm afraid that he doesn't see me the way I see him. I'm afraid to misinterpret his kindness.

He talks about how attractive his friends are, how he's social all the time. He seems to appreciate our similar interests, but I fear being friendzoned.

I feel like of all the times I've liked someone, I want to have the courage to tell them how I feel. I try to not read into any of his gestures, much like I previously had and caused more trouble, but I can't help it. I'm very social and friendly with people, but confronting my feelings is tough for me. I often swallow these opportunities and hold back. I also fear being rejected again, because I'm seen more as the "friend" than a potential girlfriend, and I just don't feel like I've stood a chance against my other attractive friends. I want to be with someone who I can connect with creatively and intellectually. I feel like he's the closest person I've ever come to of the kind of guy I really like.

I want to have a chance with him. I've been so shy and scared all my life, and I feel like I can be myself around him. I want to at least ask him out, and be in a situation where it could be obvious.

I'm just scared, that he may see me as a just a friend, when there's so much that I feel we can build together. It'd feel like a dream if he noticed me.

You're a fucking cunt, I loved you, I left my entire life behind because you thought for twenty minutes that it might be fun to spend your life with me.

You're a fucking liar and a cunt, you fucked me the minute your boyfriend left town and then did the same to me the minute he came back.

And you're even taking advantage of my father's generosity; you're not qualified at all for that job, he hired you because he's a charitable guy and you're just a fucking nobody who he thought he could help start doing something with your life.

Just like I tried my hardest to understand how you felt when you told me you were depressed. You weren't depressed, that's just guilt. Guilt from fucking with everyone and treating people like your shitty library job where you can do a no-call no-show then they take you back the next day. People aren't like that and although I lack the power to destroy you today I hope you fucking get what's coming to you. Die cunt.

I gave all I had and I have no urge to go on. I just want to die.

I'm 99% sure I'm depressed to the point where I think I'd like some help, but being diagnosed would set me back, and I don't want anyone to worry.

I want to hand my notice in at work because I might be depressed. How do I go about it?

Or I could just not go in and eventually get the sack. That'd be a more fun and self destructive (which I am) option

Just got a call from my manager to get to the office after works.
Have been talking about making it 8 hours of work per day.
She also have told me there were alot of complaints about me.
When I asked her why should I come she just said that we need to talk.
I am getting fired, aint I? Fuck fuck.

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Just chatted with my cousin via phone.
She told me that she and her sister will be visiting our grandma during their holidays. I'll probably go visit them then, though I will also be seeing the girls next week too.
Can't wait. It has been over a month since I last saw them.

Hi guys :] i just really need a hug right now...

>>16516694
Im hugging you. Baby steps, itll be fine

Sometimes I wish I was dead.

And by sometimes I mean frequently.

>>16517051im sorry its hard not to think like that. But im hugging you right now. I hope it helps

>>16517033
hug me too pls

>>16512711
I went to take a shower today with my soap and it smelled like fish

>>16517051
I don't want you to die anon.

>>16517053
A big warm hug for you my friends :] itll all be fine

>>16517057
So what did you do?

>>16517060
It really will be, thanks.

>>16517061
What do you think? I left it outside my housemate's door

>>16512711
I wish i could get over what happened. It's been three years, she Probably doesn't even remember me.
The world is just so fuckes today. How can we possibly fix it, when the few and greedy keep undoing our efforts?
I'm pretty fucked, too. Just can't get the math to work.
Wish these fucking kids would quiet down. Fucking christ, i can hear them through max volume.
Should i just rack up all my diagnoses and shit and just live as a neet inna cheap one roomer? Why bother trying if i just fail all the time?
Tired. Think I'm gonna crash when i get home. Get a long night's sleep.

It's been a year and a half now and I think I've moved on, but when I close my eyes I still see you in my dreams and you still love me like you did before. When I wake up I have to realize everyday that you will never love me and I'll never see your face again.

>>16517066
I wish I was your housemate. I've always wanted to be your housemate.

Im a fucking failure. I can't seem to put any real effort into anything and i don't see that ever changing. Even if i really want something i can never give my all towards it.

I halfassed my way through school and college and that is slowly coming back to haunt me as i can't find a job.

>with girl for 4 years
>incredibly intense, almost marry
>we both fuck up
>she ends it a little over a year ago
>doesn't end on a good note
>she goes no contact and I respect her wishes

She sent me a text this morning. She said leaving me was the biggest mistake she has made, and how everything going on in our lives just overwhelmed her. She sent me a novel after that and wants to call me tonight.

I still love her. I'm scared she may be doing this for the wrong reasons though. I also don't want to hurt the way I did those first few months.

I have dreamed of this moment since it ended. Now that it is reality I don't know what to do.

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>Pros of my life right now: Doing some physical therapy at home that is working well to reduce the pain and injury caused by 4 years of jobs with no regard for safety. Got all As in my classes at uni while attending under half the classes this semester (study at home and generally smart). Getting back into my long lost hobbies and steadily getting better.
>Cons: Been in between jobs for almost 5 months now, gf and I have spent such little time together ever since she got a teaching job so I feel as if the chemistry between us is dying hard, only reason I haven't seriously offed myself is for my gf, my mom, and my younger brother who looks up to me.

>>16515937
I feel you anon. I had a professor like that once. Really I used that spite to drive myself through the hard shit. To prove that smug bastard and his 1 mil in grants wrong. I'm still not a teacher yet, but keep trying. We're all gonna make it one day.

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I'm a disgusting pedophile and I hate myself. I've done things that I wish I never did , and even 4chan mods hate me. Im thinking of talking to my older sister sister about cause she would touch me inaapropriately when I was 7 so maybe she'd understand the attraction? ....I dunno

Anger issues are usually just self control issues. Everybody gets angry. Most people have the self control to not explode and break things or hurt people. Try using your non-dominate hand for all activities for awhile to teach yourself patience and restraint

How the fuck can you be so indifferent to him committing suicide? Saying he's an idiot and all, at least you could pretend for a second that you care. Oh, and asking whether all three of us will be here for Christmas... Well, hello, if someone just killed himself, no, he's not going to be here for Christmas.
Also just a big fuck you to both of you. I did not end up killing myself in the past few decades, but don't take credit for that. You made it really hard for me to find a reason to live, to connect with people. I had many plans and methods ready to kill me, the single reason for not doing that is cause none of you gave a single fuck about granny's well-being either, and I didn't want her to be left alone with you in her last years. She took care of you like you were actual nice people. You deserved none of that, but she did. Oh and bitching about the fact that she only remembered my name? Yeah, you are his children, but obviously she forgot you since you gave no fucks.
I loved her with all my heart, so I didn't even realize at the time how fucked up it was for making a 15-18 year old go to school, work, and take care of granny. All under the fake "I used to do much more as a kid" bs. Guess what, you also made me clean the house, and I saw your school documents many times while cleaning your shit. You freaking sucked at school, liar.
I freaking moved to a different country, and you still expect me to take care of your laundry, you're a real vampire. You also expect me to send money, when you took all the subsidy from the government. You gave me food and shelter, but I know how much you pocketed, you also made me do your taxes, you remember?
Why do I even talk to you anymore? Ah right, I will never love myself fully if I don't forgive you.
But every time I forgive something, you follow up with an even bigger asshole move. The rest of the family is not entirely insane, where did you go so wrong?
Again, the guy is dead, how hard is that to process?

>Be a full time carer for my mother
>It's my birthday
>The only thing I want is a day off, nobody ever remembers anyway
>Arrange for some of her old friends to come by while I go see a movie, alone of course as I have 0 social life
>Everything seems to be ok
>Get a text that my prescription is ready for collection
>I have time so I decide to swing by
>The line is huge but the pharmacist knows me
>It's 'volunteer' day, where 'troubled kids' work handing stuff out
>Sit there for a while, nothing
>Quietly ask the pharmacist if he could hurry up or I'll miss the movie
>He's letting the kids put them together while he checks them
>If I leave now it'll get put on the back burner and I won't get it until Friday
>More time passes, I've missed the start of the movie
>Say fuck it and just decide to go find the damn thing myself
>Discover the reason everything has ground to a halt is because two of the volunteers are making out
>I actually know the guy, get pissed and tell them to stop
>"Who's this?"
>"Ignore him, he's just jealous. Sad I get more pussy than you, virgin?"
>Storm out, I'll live with the pain for a few days
>Get home
>Mums friends leave, everything went ok, she's eating her dinner when I arrive
>I'm hungry so I go check the fridge
>It's empty other than a single fucking carrot
>Turns out they had a feast, I have no cash so I can't order out

So now I'm hungry, bitter and have a small party to clean up after. Happy fucking birthday

I'm just really stoked that I got to see this guy today, and he laughed a lot at my stupid jokes and he made me laugh like crazy, too.

But fuck I did not mean to develop a crush on yet another colleague. He even mentioned to a coworker, as though he wanted me to hear, that he's single. What the fuck is happening

>>16517532
Kill them all.

Im fucking sick of seeing that fucker post

>born in small redneck town
>just want to live in the big city and be homeless
>cant get a job because the only ones available are hours away
>found craigslist rooms are they scams?

I don't know where else to ask this, so I'll ask it here.

Can it be expensive to treat depression?

Jobless dyslexic dude here.

I swear if this guy likes me too, I'll be so fucking happy.

He just has a similar sense of humor to me and I can really be myself around him. I just feel comfortable around him, and I feel so damn light every time I see him.

>>16517604
Yes and no. If you attend uni they generally have free counseling where as private counseling can be expensive without insurance. The same goes for meds (if you're stupid enough to go on them). Just do what I do: exercise, clean, pick up a hobby, day drink, and just continue to be over all cynical.

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I have absolutely failed and fucked my first semester of school. I was absolutely not ready to come to college, and now with three weeks left in first semester my grades are utterly fucked, I am sinking back into depression, and I spend most of the day either dreading what my future looks like or thinking about killing myself. I constantly skip classes because I can't find the motivation or drive to go to class, which in turn makes me want to go to class even less because I am a little bitch and afraid to go to a class this late in the semester that I have only gone to a few times. Finals are coming up and I am so screwed. I am 100% going to be on academic probation next semester, and although it won't make me lose any grants or get kicked out of university, I still feel like absolute shit and as if my world is crumbling around me. I think I'm just too distracted by some aspects of the university experience and that I lack the discipline/maturity to be a full time student right now. Anyone have any advice for how to get my shit together and basically just fucking do what I came here to do? I am an astronomy/physics double major at University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign btw.

>>16513055
I feel bad for that dude, next thing is he'll be getting keked and waiting for the next dude to be done with you before he can finally get his turn. I'd bail after a month and a half, that's just abusive.

I knew you were a dud. What could I expect from 17 year old girls, really? Everything's on me, I can't really blame anyone else for anything.

I don't understand why I can't even get an interview. I have education, skills, some experience, amazing references from people with influence. I've networked, been over my resume with a fine toothed comb. But I haven't gotten a single call in 4 months. I'm not aiming too high or anything. Willing to relocate, willing to do just about anything. Not one call.

It didn't really bother me at first. Sometimes things take a while. But to sit for 4 months with nothing is starting to hit hard. I can't mentally or financially do this much longer. I keep lowering the bar but I can't take minimum wage, I have a wife and kid. I'm already applying at places that won't pay enough, I can't afford to go any lower.

If things don't change soon I'm not sure what to do. I can't afford to keep at it forever and I know my wife and kid need more space than the 2 rooms we're living in. There has to be something wrong with my approach but I can't figure it out. Nobody that has seen my resume thinks there's anything wrong either. My cover letters are fine. It's like I'm being blacklisted.

fuck my boyfriend, he uses me but im too fucking insecure to find a new one fuck his best friend for being abusive to him, fuck the fact that my boyfriend doesnt care if he hurts me fuck this but also who am i to think i deserve any more than this, it must be my punishment, i must have done something to deserve this im sure i want to ill myself but i think ill have trouble buying a gun with my medical history...

>>16517805
Don't be so fucking down on yourself over another god damn cunt in the world who let you down. Jesus, if you're going to end your life at least end his too.

I had to move back into my mom's. It's only been a day and I can't fucking stand it. She doesn't want to pay to heat the fucking house so it's always cold. I have to go to work, freeze my fucking ass off in a warehouse and then come home just to freeze my fucking ass off.
It's complete misery. It's too cold to do literally anything except lay under a blanket in one position all fucking day. It's not fair that I can't even find any comfort in coming home. I fucking hate my life. I fucking hate this cold shithole of a house. I fucking hate this cold shithole of a state. I swear to god I'm going to move where I'll never be fucking cold again. I had to deal with this all throughout childhood just to escape for a year and come back to it.

>>16516612
he won't unless you clean yourself up.

they can be well-read, quick witted, and highly educated and at the end of the day they'd still want a pretty package.

That you're always considered a friend first sends up red flags.
if you're overweight i suggest you lose weight, if you're unkempt i suggest you look up fashion and make up tips.
You lose time and money but you gain attention and opportunities you can't even imagine. I know. I've been there. The way my guy friends treated me before and after was like night and day, it was demoralizing and slightly depressing but that's the world we live in.

>>16514248
Just end it man

>>16515373
Stop holding on to nothing, just delete them from everything you have and start living life how you'd want to

>>16517727
It'll be alright anon, a lot of schools will let you retake classes like nothing even happened a lot of people aren't ready for college me included, but hey I adjusted and im doing fine with a 3.8 gpa just learn to prioritize set short term goals like between test rotations. I believe in you anon

I'm thinking of breaking up with her... She offended my family and tries to manipulate me... I can't happen to grow a spine and I've been contemplating on the right moment to tell her how I feel...

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>tfw gf sending me her socks to cum in

I love life

You may have ended it in a horrible fashion, but I still love you, terribly.

I think it is time to leave these threads though. I was never this guy, and it is no longer helping.

I was recently diagnosed with OCD, and i'm worried that i'm about to go crazy. When i'm on the bus to work i get this feeling that i might accidently attack someone. It feels like my sanity is slowly disappearing. Is there any self treatment i can do? I really don't want to go to a therapist and i wanna stay of medication.

imaginary voices are bossing me about

I just want my damn tupperware back. It was part of a set!

>>16518307
you just opted out of the two most important treatments for OCD, dumbass

don't betray my trust.

>>16517727
Try to have fun while learning. If you don't make your own tasks enjoyable you will never find any motivation to do them

I hate people who answer your messages with ^^ fucking why

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I'm losing my mind.

Violent and horrific thoughts are flooding into me.

I've lost some dear friends.

I can't ell anyone about me and all I think about is how bad things are and how awful I am.

Everything is dying and I can save it as long as I stand up and don't cry. I can make the difference even if it ends me.

Nothing is the same. I can wear that mask and just fuck off. If my family asks me questions I just won't respond and they won't bother me because they will be scared of me.

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>middle child
>always ignored, bullied by siblings growing up
>move back home after job of a few years in another city doesn't pan out
>parents tell me it's okay if I move back as long as I pay rent

After being back I now realize both of my siblings (older brother, younger sister) are pathetic. They're still home and haven't held a job for more than a few months their whole lives. They still act like spoiled children, are slobs and whine how they never have money. I'm basically playing house-keeper with their asses right now.

Even though I don't have a steady job I'm still looking for one and making money online flipping items, doing odd jobs, etc. It's enough where I have fun money and enough to help pay my 'rent'. I've now suddenly gained golden child status with my parents and my siblings are the ones getting ignored or shit on now.

It feels really, really great.

I have ADHD and I'm working so fucking hard in school this year but everyone still gets mad and tells me I'm not "applying" myself

I used to pride myself on being one of those people who never cries but now I tear up over the stupidest shit.

I'm scared of change and the future. Although every step forward i've adjusted to, i never get over the fear of the next step.

>>16518700
We all are sometimes. Just have faith everything will fall in place and don't give a fuck what people expect from you. give a fuck what you expect from yourself, and if you fail, get up and try it again.

Older brother tried offing himself cause of gambling addiction through drug overdose, found passed out and put into emergency room. Some lady found his id and a suicide note which I wasn't even mentioned in.

Dad's been without a stable job for over a year so family's starting to struggle.

Started dealing drugs, things escalate real fast and business is going real fast. Then my little brother who I love more than anything calls me telling me he misses me and it completely breaks me. Plan to stop.

Two days later Mom finds a portion of my money stash, I tell her everything but not my plans to quit cause it would come off as a cheap excuse. That breaks all the trust I have

Quit dealing, parents don't trust me, big brother in therapy and I barely see him

At least I'm doing pretty well at school and social life's tight

social anxiety is destroying my life.

i'm very confused about my feelings right now. i want to say i feel like shit because i'm really tired but i know that's not true
i think about you a lot, i worry about you a lot

I think I'm turning into a Nazi.

I miss my friend. The shit we did together, the fun we had, the memories we made. I miss him so much. I want to know why you don't want to talk anymore. It was literally overnight when your attitude changed. What the fuck happened? I don't want to end the eye ar in silence.

>>16519010
Year* fucking autocorrect

I am incredibly attractive but due to my family's position it's best if I stay single and take care of financial matters.

It sucks ass, I wonder if God is testing me.

>>16519017
First things first. Get over yourself. You're probably not that great.

I felt so peaceful while I was walking home from school today. It was dark and cold, I was listening to my music, and on the way home I can see the mountains and the lights of all the houses below and it was so beautiful. All I could think about was how nice it would be to just wander in the cold until I found a place to lay down and die. I wasn't upset. I just feel empty. I've wanted to die for so long it's like second nature. Maybe I'll do it soon. Probably not.

>>16519042

Why do people on here get so upset when people are confident about themselves.

Online relationships aren't nearly fulfilling enough. Fuck me this is frustrating.

>>16518891
Initial?

>>16519070
Because confidence is one thing while being an egotistical asshole is another. You came off as the latter.

>>16518299
I still think of you daily.

>>16518299
Initials?

I wonder how it feels to sleep next to you. I wonder what you look like first thing in the morning, no filter, just us. I wonder what it'd be like to wake up early and just snuggle against you for warmth until I fell asleep again.

I wonder what you're like in the rawest moments. Three am conversations about the universe. Walking in the front door to find your dozing on the couch. Coming home to you after a week away.

I wonder if we'll ever be.

>>16519043
I've wanted to die for a long time, too, but you can't let it rule you. I think those thoughts, too, and honestly you sound so much like me, it's strange. It's perfectly normal to think about dying. Sometimes when I'm driving, I think about smashing my car into a bridge, or a pole. I walk to a bridge so I can think about diving off of it. I won't go through with it because I'm curious to see what's in store for me. But I got a lot of people waiting for me over there.

i'm really trying to function and i can't. i'm hiding in my room because the smell of dinner gave me a panic attack. i see hairs in my food when they aren't there and i have to throw it out. i can be confident in public but it rarely works. i want friends. i don't like being alone

is Aaron really dying?

when?

you just started dating him like, two months ago and you guys have been talking about apartments and marriage since day 1. I know everyone goes through and experiences love differently, but I can't help but be bitter as fuck about it.

I feel overwhelmed and sometimes hollow. It's not only
>tfw no gf
but I feel like the world expands and contracts in just the right ways to fuck me over. It's huge when I think about putting myself out there, and being somebody to anybody seems impossible. Yet it shrinks down whenever I want to avoid someone or something and the world forces me to face it and suffer a bit more. I don't think it would let me kill myself if I wanted to. Sad thing is I'm miserable nearly all day, everyday, and the only things that keep me going is the small hope that things will change miraculously one day and this shitty /tg/ world I'm making. I know it sounds autistic, but sometimes I imagine myself in that other world where someone can be someone to somebody.

Here's the deal: you are handsome. Don't say you are not, all girls (and guys) notice it. But here's the thing: you also happen to be the most charismatic and intelligent guy I've stumbled upon. You make me challenge myself, you willingly give me your time of a day to discuss 'boring' things like politics, sentimental things like sense of life, the future. One moment you tell me about some new photo-gear review and the next moment we talk how we would raise our children. What I'm trying to say, you cover all the edges. You have great (albeit sometimes gross) sense of humour. So let me tell you: I respect your ambitions and insecurities, I respect your vast knowledge. I'm really glad we are friends. Henceforh I promise to contain my feeligs for the good of this friendship. I get that you're not into me and it gave a great amount of pain at the beginning. But I've realised I have to deal with that, because that's the only option; that or losing your friendship, and you're too dope, I wanna keep you as long as I can. So yeah, basically all I wanted to tell you. Really grateful, M.

Ive been seeing this girl i work with for a month now, she recently came out of a 5 year relationship and lives with her ex boyfriends mom (I know its fucked, but the ex isnt in the picture and I know she hates him and hes a douche). At first I was too nervous to kiss her because she was the first girl I actually went on a real date with, and even without having kissed her we do shit like hold hands or thighs when sitting in her car or something. Problem is that after we hang out and get touchy/close the next day she will mention that she isnt ready for a relationship and that im just a really good friend, and we recently discussed this further because her friend said that she might be accidentally leading me on. We have discussed how much we like each other and that we want to remain exclusive (like we dont want to see each other with someone else) and that she (from what i could tell) wants a relationship with me but isnt sure when she will be ready. We're going to Seattle soon and Im seeing that as a way to advance on this because we will most likely share a bed at the hotel and have also made plans to spend time at each others houses when she moves out or when i get a tv/bigger bed. Ive lost all nerves about being a bad kisser, but i still hate the idea of going for it and having her pull away or remind me after that we are just good friends and that cant happen, but i feel like that might be a good way to actually advance whatever we have. What do? btw im 19 kissless virgin

im tired of fucking the same blonde whore

>>16519495
Next time book a redhead, son

You give Hispanics who want to live quiet and peaceful lives a bad name. Being a dirty and lazy cunt doesn't make you 'cool', it just screams 'I'm an overgrown baby who doesn't want to be responsible for anything'.

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>>16519666

>>16519195
As I you.

Do you have any regret? Is there a chance I was right about anything?

I find myself second-guessing much, now, for obvious reasons. I suppose it is fitting, all things considered.

I've given you all that I have to offer. The universes' greatest gift. Why have you not acknowledged the fact that I genuinely like you for all that you are? I think it's best if we stop seeing each other now because you don't even seem to be captivated by me anymore. I doubt you read the /adv/ section on this site so I might as well write this... you're the greatest dealer I've had, you've kept it real since day 1, you have the greatest sense of humour of all time, & you're the best looking guy I've met in my entire life. You're the greatest in bed I swear I can stay in bed with you forever lmfao! You're so charismatic and very hardworking, you should be reminded that you're the greatest man alive every day. I don't know dood, but something is holding me back from telling you how I genuinely feel towards you. I seriously think it's best I leave before I develop more feelings and get hurt. I don't think he'll even care if I leave wich is what hurts me the most :| fml.. I'm not having anymore relationships for a while.. single life yooo! :/

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I saw you glancing at me a couple times today. I wonder what you're thinking whenever we run into each other....

You used to flirt with me and talk to me all the time. You'd find ways to be physically close to me any time we spent time together.

And yet, the minute I opened my legs to you that all went away. You fucked me. You liked it. You want to keep fucking me. Any time we're together you're trying to get into my pants.

But the rest of it went away.

Fuck you.

Sure, the cute flirtations and whatnot tend to go away after a while. But it's not supposed to happen the day you finally get it in.

It makes me sick when guys like you feign closeness and friendship just to get your dick wet. It's not like I was expecting to date you. We're having good fun just messing around. But I feel like I lost a friend in the process.

Eat shit, and get your dick wet somewhere else.

>>16517786

i know that feel, except I will never get a chance to raise a family.

It took me 5 months after college to get a well paying job. Finally get one after working my ass off in college with a tough degree. Things go well, on track to get promoted, think things are finally going my way...nope industry crashes and I lose my job.

Manage to get a second job the next week, pays ok, not exactly in my field and not as well paying but at least it will tide me over. After a few weeks, once I start to get my feet wet and think that I have found something....I get laid off three weeks in. Literally laid off from two different jobs in one month, both where my boss said I was doing great and all that, etc.

Been months since then and I can't get a single reply back from anybody either. I've spent half my post-college career not working while desperately looking for work and my industry is not going to recover for years. So basically I have no future and I will never be able to raise a family.

Could be worse, anon.

>>16513559
What were you supposed to do?? I fucking hate dentists, it seems like every time they "fix" something they fuck something else up, such a racket...

>>16514192
HOLY SHIT...you kinda have to tell her...I guess he knew what to do from the genetics...

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I really freaking hate the way my organic chemistry professor teachers her class. I think she's a really smart woman--she really is--but she goes way too fucking easy on her students and it pisses me off and makes me lose any and all motivation to take her class seriously.

She makes it way too fucking easy. She gives us packets and always tells us what's going to be on the exam so that her kids only study specific things rather than making sure they know and understand all of the content that was covered. It really demotivates me and I don't know what to do. I've only gotten Cs and Bs on her exams because I think it's pointless to study, especially since she curves our grades.

I wish the rest of her students weren't so fucking stupid, either. We had to spend a month on simple reactions and naming procedures. A month. Then, as the end of the semester approached, she realized that we didn't have enough time to cover the rest of the more important content (stuff that is going to be tested on the MCAT), so she had to cut it all off. Seriously?

You're a great professor, you really are, and I admire that, but you really piss me off. Well, not you, but your students. They don't appreciate a thing you do for them. None of them are going to go big on the MCAT anyway. If anything, only one or two of them are going to become doctors, since that's how competitive the field is.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just a really negative person. I don't see how any of this is negative, though. It seems objective as hell since I just wanted to follow the syllabus and learn as much as possible.

Isn't that what going to school is about anyway--learning? Your job as a teacher isn't to teach things for us to spit back to you, it's to make sure we actually learn these things, and I can already tell you that your class has made me dread learning organic chemistry. I think I might even retake orgo 2 because of how much I dreaded your class.

>>16519783
you seem a little nuts, a little overenthusiastic,
but a whole lot beautiful and awesome. I hope you have the best life evar<3

>>16519893
Stop giving a fuck about what everyone else is doing and learn on your own nigga damn. That professor ain't gonna hold yo hand on memory lane and cry while you become a doctor. She's going to continue her job doing what they pay her to do. The kids in your class are the norm. They go to college to do the bare minimum for their money's worth and network the hell out of everything. It's rare that people go to college to actually learn everything and getting upset about it is meaningless. Your life incorporates you and only you so focus on that

I wish I wasn't so averse to change.

I don't like to think about the fact I gave up seven years of my adult life to you. I never dwell on it and it rarely pops up anymore. Though when it does, it's inevitably in the middle of the night when I'm alone. And then I sit and wonder if you go through this. Do you think about what my life is like now? I torment myself for a little while thinking it would feel like less of a waste if we remained friends but never reach out to you. It was always my job to do that before. And then I think about how you never reach out to me. Seven years and it doesn't stir you. We're coming upon a year of silence. Each month it just gets easier to leave things the way they are. And in a way, that's almost heartbreaking. Of all the people in the world I thought would've gave a shit about me, it was you. I was wrong then. Looks like I still am.

I did a sexual thing in exchange for money last weekend for the first time in my life (handjob, condom). Was way too drunk and had the dude initiate it and then stuff some money in my coat pocket.

I wonder if I should feel bad? I'm just relatively pleased since I really needed the money for food and bills and don't feel disgusted at all due to the numbing and blurring effect of being extremely drunk. Definitely will have to curb my drinking from now on though, it's a bit of a warning sign, but still. I just always assumed this sort of thing should feel more like crossing a border or something

I feel happy right now. I feel so happy when I see you, which is retarded. I am a drooling retard for you. There it is.

What you do think you might be right about, exactly? You only want to remain in your comfort zone, but expect me to just "go with the flow". You call me selfish and spoiled and childish, but look at you. You've always said terrible things and acted in such a disgusting way, how can I not lash out with the stress I am under? You accuse me of never believing you cared, but turn around and say that I never cared. You can insult yourself, but if I say something, you harp about how I don't believe you love me.

I might have issues of my own, but your insecurity is immense. Planetary. Your reaction to disapproval or questioning is what is childish, because no one has ever cared about you enough to question you before.

Look at yourself. Are you happy with this? Are you happy doing what you are "used to"? Is familiarity worth throwing away anything else? I know you're full of shit because you always are. You aren't happy now. You sure as hell weren't happy when I found you. Is your hand sliding emptily over your own crotch every day while you dream of someone who loves you satisfying, when there was someone right there, waiting for you to look away from the screen and notice?

You always want to be the victim. Go ahead, hate me, put it all on me. Hate me for all the things you think I didn't do. Hate me for all the things you somehow felt entitled to. Blame me even to your death for being alone. If that makes it easier for you, go ahead. But if you don't know what you really want out of life then, either, try looking inside yourself. Is it empty in there? Who made it that way? Maybe it was you. Maybe everything is about you. My everything was about you, too, and I don't share. I guess your head is so full of yourself that you can't even see me in it, and my head was so full of you that I couldn't see myself. I don't want to give up on you, but I have no other option.

I earn a good amount of money and I scrimp and save as much as I can. But I did some mental math and I'm still going to have to work my entire life. I'm firmly entrenched in the middle class. Why do I feel like the world is rigged?

>>16520138
Well, start a business and hope it's the next facebook or google or tumblr or a successful game company someone will want to buy for $$$

>>16520162
I'm trying to save up enough money to be able to do just that. I'll See you when I'm 60 years old!

The word 'weak' describes me perfectly, in more ways than one.

>>16520086
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwUbXuQnW8E

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as much as I try to be nice, connect with people, make friends, etc. I keep feeling that nobody really understands me as a person and they would much prefer being around someone else than be around me. i've always been an introvert and enjoyed my privacy but i'm getting back to the point where i really just wanna be around someone that truly cares about me without telling anyone else about my issues .

everywhere i go, everyone seems to have that one person or more people that they can just rely on and despite people telling me they do have my back i don't really feel like anyone's telling the truth . maybe i'm just being crazy or superstitious but i'm just tired of being so alone all the time, and i keep seeing people in my same position but i can never get them to open up either .

it fucking sucks when people keep telling you "you'll find a nice girl someday" when they don't seem to understand that i want them, or just someone that wants to hang out with me. the people who do say they wouldn't mind hanging out with me never take the opportunity to bring something forward and just wait on me to do something.

fuck i hate being alone all the time.

I am fucking lost. I have so many deepset personality flaws and no idea how to fix them.

Everywhere I go, despite having a good circle of friends and fitting in well with social groups, I am branded as arrogant and pretentious. My friends, and I really am very good at making strong friendships in spite of this, tell me it's just the way I come off initially and in reality I'm a nice person. That said, I really want to fix this but have no idea what I do that is arrogant and pretentious. Google searches turn up nothing of use, my closest confidants say I don't need to worry about it, but I must now.


How do I stop being something I don't understand? What is arrogance, with examples if possible? What is pretention? Help me make myself not shit please.

Can you initiate the conversation next time so that I know you're still interested?

>>16517742
you need to chill. it was both of our first time. jfc

>>16520429
initials?

You know your life is boring when you wish you were at work all day every day.

Ex's ex found out he was talking to me and pitched a fit apparently.

What the fuck, honestly? Told him to just not talk to me, then. I'm getting too old for this. There's better people in my life. I literally did nothing to deserve this. I just sit in my corner.

The d is not with the struggle desu

i'm still upset about the way my ex dumped me and then acted like we could still be best friends and i hate being this bitter about it but i can't help it.

>>16520028
Get that $$$$ and be safe

>>16519195
Initials?

Either I'm on to something... or I'm just fucking insane.

>>16519247
Initials?

>>16520971
Share, and I'll tell you

Brah, sending me snap vids of yo dick isn't gonna start a convo... Ugh wtf why do I let this shit happen??? Bruuuuh

And why are y'all dudes so shitty at starting convos? I:

This is what I want: I want you to come up behind me and stand against me, just barely touching me or not even touching at all. Just stand there. I won't turn around. Then I want you to put your hand on the back on my neck. Stroke the hair behind my ears. That's how I'll know.

Good job, you had my hopes up for once, instead of being straightforward and denying me on scene. Fuck you.

>>16521031
storytime?

>Be me be 6 be frist day at school
>go to toilet to pee dont lock the door
>Girls opens the door wehen im peeing
>she sees my dick
> im jump on here and and poop on here face
>im mad
>im run in to the classroom
>tell everybody that she have been pooping
>on here self

so thats was my story for today its a jk ok

I should have pursued that cute blonde from the other class instead of paying attention to some blueballing underage girl.

I thought she wasn't shallow. Well, nothing to do there.

i'm cozy but i'd be cozier with u

An endless staircase? That's it! We get stepped on, so we step on others, putting them down, making them step on others, and it goes on forever. An endless staircase made out of us, also, climbed by us, in the end, where does it lead?

I'm depressed again. So lonely, yet don't want to be around anyone. So bored, yet don't want to do anything. I don't have friends, hobbies or a job anymore. I feel like I should stop living for myself and try helping others, but Ill just give up because I don't benefit directly. I feel like I'm too emotionally fragile and needy to deal with an adult life. The last time I was happy was the same reason I wanted to die all of last year. If something that made me feel so great also made me feel so terrible, why try? I'm not mature enough to deal with things properly.

This was surprisingly helpful to see where my state of mind is at

I can't stop lying. Especially to foreign people, but everybody gets lied on, even my gf and my 3 best bros. My mother, my sister, my father.
It's often not even important things, it just became a habit, would even say some kind of hobby. Sometimes I'm too lazy to tell the truth and make stupid shit up. Sometimes im uncomfortable talking about certain things, telling a lie is much easier. Doing so like 12 years now. Through this a lot of shit happened, people like to trust somebody, but nobody wants to get lies told.

>>16518562
I wont

>>16521246
Sounds fermiliar... Cheer up man, there are people who need you. You just don't know them yet. It's hard to get out of this shit, but I tell you, its worth it. Don't waste your life, that would be lazy and a waste of a human soul. Wasting something makes me angry.DONT make me angry ;) you better smile, or I'll make you. Post whenever you feel lonely, what do you think how many people here on 4chan feel the same? All of them. Everybody can feel like that.

Where do you live?

Fuck it, might as well ask.

Any one know how to treat a hypersensitive penile glans?

Uncut virgin here.

>>16521278
Yeah, I realise a lot of people feel lonely and plenty of people are depressed. I try not to mention it most of the time, because my problems aren't special. I bet every other post is something like mine.

I'm from Ireland and I'm trying to get a job to distract and support myself, but nothing yet. Just feeling particularly bad today

>>16520365
Why aren't you trying for professional help? There are psychotherapists out there... And if you can't afford a therapy, there is still a Hotline for that. In every country. Even in Africa.

Introverted people often get misunderstood and called arrogant. Are you introverted? Try involving people in discussions. Ask things. Be nice. Sure, you don't have to like everybody. Pretention comes with arrogance. Or is also misunderstood. I for myself hate people who behave casually. But I'm pretending that I have a good time, since you can get rid of people faster when uninteresting.

>>16521294
It's ne human race's sickness. Depression will always be there and is getting stronger and more common. You don't have to be special, to be different. There can be a lot of people like you ( and we are a lot of humans, so there will definitely be) but that means you have something in common with them. If you ever come to Germany, Hamburg, you are welcome at my place. Ring the bell on the second floor of schlüterstraße 22, ask for Max. Well talk, you'll see you will feel better. Cheers

>>16512711

>the moment someone is feeling strong is the moment they are feeling weak
>the moment someone is weak is when they are feeling strong
>when you are weak is the only moment they can show you love so they can feel strong

I've gone through many of those relationships and friendships. The important thing is to shut the fuck up and do your own thing. Nobody will complain and those who complain don't matter. You can't win, just focus on being the better you day after day. Beat your own goals, beat it, jerk off, go cum and make babies with that fucker they call success. Shut the fuck up and go do something with your life. Then you'll get what you want instead of crying how someone is an asshole or how shit is unfair. It is dumbshit it always will be and it will only get worse. That's the point, if you can't handle that then kill yourself and stop whining here.

These threads are fucking idiotic. I just come here to laugh at you dumbasses.

>>16521318
I appreciate the gesture, but its something that only time and effort will help, I think

>>16512711
Dear Dad,

I am sorry about failing another course of uni. I've been keeping it from you ever since. I know I told you that I will tell you all of my problems when it comes to academics. I have never been a good student and it seems that I have proven it again. Thanks to you, I am lucky and extremely grateful to have entered a prestigious university. Unfortunately I have these shit for brains and a large ego. I am sorry for keeping your hopes up.

Tomorrow, I will be skipping the final test for this course and will not be submitting a final project. I have problems that include my ego and shit for brains. I am addicted to video games and I don't have a lot of friends. I do not blame these problems for my incompetence. I blame myself for not being strong and resilient. I am egocentric and anxious. I do not know how to live my life.

I am a disappointment to myself and to you.

>>16521362
Think so too. Still try to talk with somebody, it really helped me a lot. There are people getting payed talking with you, or not.

First thing:

I still think I have some mild form of autism. Nobody agrees but they can't understand the shit I struggle with either because it seems simple to them. And yet nope, because I'm functional and able to only drop spaghetti occasionally that means I'm normal.

Second thing:

I'm interested in anal. Always had a fetish for it and now that I learned how to painlessly insert things into my ass I'm even more eager to try it.
But my bf actively dislikes it, I have no way to not admit to it if I really want to do it. He'd do it to please me but I'd have to ask. Not willing to cheat either. So I just masturbate and shiver whenever his hands are close to my ass.

>>16521476
I'm a virgin that's never had a relationship, so this may be awful advice. You could ask him to try anal, and in return you do something he likes.

>>16521498
I already do everything he likes, there's not a lot of things I don't like. The issue is really that it seems like asking would be so absolutely dirty and awful of me. I'm just really embarrassed...

I added Paul Walker on the Xbox and he just stays on the dashboard all day and it's really annoying.

>>16521705

underrated post

currently missing you. currently wishing we were cuddling.

>>16521705
Those lols

I miss her and only her. I want to protect her smile even from afar. I will do my best anons. Someday I'll be strong enough to protect smiles. I promise you smiley.

>>16521683
Once you say it and get it out of the way, then it either stays the same as usual or theres anal.

I know that its really embarrassing, but its worth it if anal is something you really really want

Hey guys, i feel totally alone. I have friends, around family and yet im alone.

All i wanna do is pack a bag and run away. dunno where just run away live on some sod's couch and do odd jobs to live.

Be completely off the radar etc. any tips?

>>16521856

Go travel anon or take drugs. Whichever one makes you appreciate what you have.

>>16521895
No dont wanna do drugs and shit.

Just need some tips so start again buddy.

I love it when people I hate have huge problems. I know I have to stay positive and be nice to others but I actually hate so many people in my major in college for example.

Many of them skipped a class some weeks ago and we had a surprise exam. Teacher told us she would give some of those throughout the year, but these fuckers skipped the class anyway and now they're a chance they won't pass the semester regardless of their GPA. It's a rule in universities where I'm from: you miss an exam without any valid justification and proof of said reason, you have to redo the whole semester next year. Anyway, said teacher is the only one in the whole university to do that shit, but we were told so we can't complain about it now.

I'm laughing my ass off because they're the kind of people who show off with what they own thanks to mommy and daddy's money, who party every weekend and make fun of people who don't, who skip classes all the time to sleep more because they spent the night partying or watching TV, and then they ask notes from others.

I hope they get in huge trouble for that. After the time they spent asking me for notes for shitty reasons and not helping me when I missed classes because of the sheer number of times I fell ill or even passed out on my way to college, they deserve it. Some of them claim they were at their job, but if so they could have given documents at the beginning of the year to avoid all this trouble. Sometimes I have a hard time believing these people are in their 3rd year, it's hilarious. Now they're still having a pity party even though they were told all that stuff a week ago.

I know it's fucked up that it make me happy, but still.

part of me wants to move on because i'm worried about you all of the time and i think you're with her
but then i miss you so much that it hurts.
i'm really tired and confused

>>16522278
If this were for me, I would say you have no reason to worry, for we are not involved romantically. And you should just come back to me.

>>16522336
alright alright alright, before i get too excited gimmie your initials

>>16522349
I don't think that's the case, unfortunately. Unfortunately, for both you and me. If you were here, you'd recognize my writing style and energy. And, if you her. you'd most likely continue denying.

But, if you want a clear yes or no, you can provide initials, though.

>>16522402
honestly I don't think you're him so never mind.

Back in my late teens, I spent three years chasing a girl who didn't want me, but never shot me down. She just ignored it, and only started avoiding me when I got very desperate and broken over it. And then she got all approachable again, and let me in. Got my hopes back up, and still didn't shoot me down when I went in again.
I was young with close to zero social experience. I didn't know better. All it took for me to stop was a simple word that she didn't like me and my advances. But it never came. I tried desperately to make her want me, go out with me and be my girlfriend, and kept embarrassing myself to the point of social suicide. I had a good thing, and this cost me 3 years of my life to recover on top of the 3 I spent chasing.

I'd always blamed myself for my social retardation. It's three years of oneitis. Three years of hints that should've tipped me off. If I had just been a normal person, I wouldn't have wasted my adolescence.

But then I ran into her again, after years of no contact. Twice. The first time she tried to ignore me so obviously that even I could tell the impact I'd made. The second time she approached me and tried to let me back in. Again. It hurt me immensely and tore open old wounds, but I turned her down politely.

It makes me wonder. If a person is on the wrong path, and his target doesn't even bother to set him straight, like they almost even encourage him, is that person truly in the wrong? Am I fully to blame for all those lost years that I was optimistic and naive?

>>16519720
Only pain, anger, sadness, and lost hopes and dreams of what could have been a lifetime of memories. I fear the wound left will never fully heal.

I feel like a dumb piece of shit but I'll say it.

I have a girlfriend of 3 years. There's a guy I hate, and i really don't hate juts anybody. This guy's always been an asshole to me personally, and he's obnoxious as all fuck. He's like a social media overlord and posts the dumbest shit that all the girls fall for. Like "dear future wife" cringe type of shit. And he always acts like he's the most interesting and important person in the universe.

I'm not even biasing it, he's just that kind of guy. He thinks he's hot shit and people feed into it.

Anyways, I told my girlfriend about him before because she knows him as well, and I told her that he's basically always been an asshole to me. She was like "fuck that guy."

Now I saw a friend of a friend liked one of his recent pictures, so I looked at it. He has like 100+ likes, and one of those, right there at the top, is my girlfriend.

I thought she didn't even talk to him? She knows he's always been an asshole to me. And she knows he's always been girl bait.

So why the fuck did she like his picture?

I feel like a teenage girl overreacting to someone just clicking like on a picture, but it just really bothers me. I don't know why the fuck she liked his picture and is even associated with him even after I told her how much of an asshole he's been to me. Did she give into his girl bait or something?

I just don't know how to react anymore. I'm angry and feel betrayed, but I'm kind of mad at myself for making a big deal about it when it looks like such a small thing.

i'm praying you're asleep
i'm sick to my stomach from the all things i'm imagining

>>16522792
explain

>>16522823
he browses this board so i can't really explain without giving myself away
uhhh to be as vague as possible i'm in love with someone that could possibly be with someone else right now

>>16522843
well whoever he is, fuck that piece of shit. I'm kind of in a shitty mood, I wouldn't mind fucking with this guy. Do you want to?

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My head's clear and I've fucked up and wasted my life. I wasted too much time and it's back to square one. I'm truly approaching 'old' status now. Is 'better late than never' true?

Should I feel bad starting over this late in life? Should I feel bad that I'll have to work a terrible job until I get my life on track?

I guess some money is better than no money. I guess a slow pace is better than staying in place. I just feel embarrassed that I'm in this position. Defeated by my own two fucking hands. Nobody to blame but me and the shame on my shoulders.

oooooooook i have an incest issue

When i was a little kid, i ono, around 10 or younger. Me and my little sister would play "doctor". Touch each other, kiss, anything that felt good but didnt understand why. First head I ever got was from my little sister. Eventually we get caught and even as kids know we have done something bad. Be ashamed and such.

Anyway years pass, have grown up (24) and I have grown a powerful incest fetish. Pretty sure it originates from this little experience.

My sister is 21 now (will not post pics) and while I've always secretly wanted to do stuff with her, she recently lost some weight and has become hott as fuck. I shit you not, I dont even know why she did it.

We have never talked about what we did as kids, although once I got high and asked her if we maybe give each other a massage. Didnt go well. We never talked about that either.

Anyway I'm probably just doomed to have the fetish unfilled.

>>16522879
oh my goodness no no. He wouldn't be doing anything wrong, actually, as we're no longer together.
I appreciate the concern though, it made me smile when I was feeling shitty

Missing pieces of my life.

A group of friends, preferably good ones
A nice and sweet girlfriend
Physical, mental, and emotional strength.
The ability to show kindness
A hobby or skill
Most importantly, motivation and self discipline, if only I had that, I might actually get the missing pieces.

I miss my ex gf. I regret breaking up with her and now she won't get back with me. Absolutely no way at this point. I have been way too much of an asshole to her.

>>16517387
If you don't take the chance now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

Do you still think about me?
Every day?
Once in a week?
Once in a month or even a year?
I just want to let you know I want you to be happy, with or without me.
We don't even talk anymore or keep any connection, but I'd still listen if you'd ever need help.
I moved on and you probably did too, but I still miss the days when we were still a thing.

Goodbye Shorty, I hope we meet again, and if we don't, that's ok too

You tell me I'm nothing to you, yet you find any reason to text me. You find any reason for me to come over. You invite me for thanksgiving, when I tell you no, you still save me food. You get pissed when I tell you I don't want it. I do blame you for all that went down. I mean, I know I was acting crazy. But, you never once communicated until right before "parting ways". You let it build up. If you had told me, I would've backed off. And still you aren't communicating.
I want to fix it. Speak with your mouth. What do you want? Fuuuuck

>>16521705
>B-b-b-b-but Porsche!

I hate to complain but I do it often. Right now I'm in a good place in my life, about halfway through with a program at college. In a year, I'll have a good job in any city I choose. But I want to bitch that I don't have a girlfriend sucking my dick. I don't know why I do that

>>16521829
You're right... I'll probably talk about it sometime when I drink and just get it over with while inhibitions are low. Thanks, anon.

It pains me you went ahead and started to ignore me, even if we had a great time. Why didn't you just said some shitty excuse instead of saying yes.

Why the fuck do I always have to live through this shit with every girl I find a tad interesting.

Fuck this.

i don't think i can do this

>>16521236
Brilliant metaphor. For real!

People aren't nice enough for some of you to live long enough to be happy again.

I know you don't care. You couldn't possibly. You were probably just trying to get back at someone and I was there, how convenient. I wish it was the same with me, but it wasn't. I wish there was something I had that you valued. I wish I was any one of the other girls you're with.

>>16522721
I wonder the same thing.
The same thing is happening to me now.

I dunno what to do. I like hanging out with them anyway, so, I dunno what to do. It's not like I really have anyone else or really want anyone else right now anyway.

It sucks being so attached to one person who won't just tell you to fuck off.

>>16522884
you thought this, hope remains

I am so tired of you complaining about how you're broke, but yet you go and spend money on frivolous bullshit AND don't take care of the things you own. You keep wasting a ton of money on junk, and keep letting things get lost/destroyed. Just because I know how to budget/save money and take care of my belongings doesn't mean you're entitled to my money. I can't deal with this anymore.

Hitler would vote for me.

Someone explain to me why a guy would ask me if I sent something to his ex and tell me he got chewed out by her for talking to me.

Uh that's not an ex if you're letting her dictate who you talk to??

i'm sick of the pleasantries and small talk i want to fucking kiss you and hug you.
i just can't justify this anymore. i'm a fool. i'm fucking naive. i feel so dumb

>>16512711
God I miss being excited for things, man. I don't remember when I last looked forward to anything. Whenever I start I want to stop, and when I stop I want to start. I'm always caught feeling like I desperately need to do *something* but not knowing what.

I don't miss people anymore. I socialize because I need to, but that's it. I guess it's like eating your vegetables, y'know? You don't have to like it but you die without it.

I'm so scared that this is my future. I don't know how to make it stop.

>>16522736
I share those feelings, and they are more intense than I could ever hope to explain. I believe you were right, when you said that neither of us would ever be truly happy.

When I think of the future we could have, that we should be cuddled in bed together, your head resting on my chest while I stroke your hair... It just breaks my heart all over.

I was right about what we shared, how rare such a connection is... I know these wounds will never heal. You will always carry my heart.

Tell me, please... Do you still love me?

Why are you so into me when we talk, but you never text back? You tell me you always try to text back, why am I an exception? You seek me out and spend time with me IRL, I just don't fucking get it.

I just fucking hate how u steal my only friends away from me I hate how now all of them just straight up stopped talking to me and now they just adore u I know I'm not anything special but dude u have plenty of friends plus you already know how hard it is for me to make friends but you have the fucking nerve to steal my only friends away from me it's fucked up and you know it I feel so alone now I fucking hate you for doing this to me Ive never felt this alone in my life and it's making me crazy personally I feel as if I can't even survive this fuck you so much I hate you and personally I don't want anything to do with you anymore I'm done being friends or whatever anyone would call us all you did was fucking use me up fuck you

Holy fuck, I'm feeling it right now.

I got chronic pain to begin with and need braces on my knees and ankles to get around during the day, and wrist braces to manage hand pain so bad that I'll catch myself making fists to try and dull it. I'm wearing orthotics and trying not to take so much acetaminophen I shit blood, which has happened before.

A low pressure system hit and I am right fucked up. I spent like several hours in bed yesterday trying to feel good enough to do anything at all, and I even had trouble getting from my bed to my kitchen last night.

All today I've been eating it, too. The girl I'm seeing has the same sort of chronic pain but worse because of some sports injuries, and we were supposed to do some business things tonight but instead we just sat in the car and didn't have the willpower to move.

I need to get myself and her on some prescription pain relief ASAP, because clearly we both need it. Holy fuck. I mean, I'm lying in bed and my shoulder and knee are burning. I haven't even really used that shoulder in a repetitive way for months.

Managing this shit with devices is not working for either of us. Maybe with some powerful painkillers we can even reduce our reliance on them.

>>16523350

Thank you, anon.

>>16523453
Or you could try to undo what is causing it instead of drugging yourself

Modern lifestyle is toxic

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I'm 37 years old. An old acquaintance from elementary/high school just posted that he's about to welcome his first grandchild. He's my age, maybe a year younger. What the actual fuck is going on?

>>16523421
If I read your post right - that this person doesn't text you back, but at the same time talks to you a bunch IRL - that's fairly normal. Some people just aren't into texting.

I have a lot of really good friends like that. We hardly text but when we're hanging out we can talk nonstop for hours.

>>16523453
Weed helps.

I don't really know if you're searching for me in here right now. I don't know if you've looked for me at all today
I'm feeling really sad and isolated, I'm worried about this semester because I've lost all my motivation.
I'm afraid of being left to myself this weekend. I really feel like I don't have anyone anymore.
I just cry at random now. Most of the time I feel okay, and then it hits me again.
It's such a suffocating feeling. I immediately want to run to you and be comforted in your arms but I can't anymore.
I can't kiss you anymore
I wanted to hold your hand when we walked to class this morning but I knew I couldn't
I'm trying to stay positive but everything seems like a big question mark. I didn't want to watch the video because I wanted a reason to be invited over your dorm again.
I'll wake up and feel okay again. I'll go through the same motions. Rinse and repeat.
I'm still going to keep my faith in you. It's hard now but I know it'll get better.
I'm sorry I'm a mess right now

>>16523457
My whole family's got the same thing as far back as we can trace it, and we've been trying to self-medicate. We've ignored doctors and prescriptions to the point where most of us are crippled by pain by the time we're 40, if we haven't had our required knee surgeries yet, and even then that just puts 5-10 years on the clock.

I think I'll try something different.

>>16523484
I know senpai. I'm trying to figure out where I can get a mainline and also take time to teach myself how to make edibles. That could seriously be the thing that keeps me off opioids.

>>16523616
If you are in legitimate pain, and it is chronic, you have no choice but opiate painkillers.

Speak in depth with your doctor, take your medicine as prescribed, and you will be fine.

>>16522884
Dude, I'm 30+ and have enrolled in a year-long community college program paid for by my parents that's supposed to prep me for university entrance exams next spring, so that I could start over and go back to school after my current profession turned out to not be the right choice.

It's a bunch of 19-21 year olds and me. Sure I could feel like a loser for not making it in my first profession or not making better life choices earlier and for wasting literally years being depressed but who gives a shit. Better to try something now than waste some more years moping and stagnating in shit.

2015 is ending anytime soon... but I really don't want it too, Febraury was the last time I saw my grandma and now she's gone, I feel more sorry for my mom than myself,
I wish I could bring my grandma back to see my mom smile again and see how they tell joke to eachother or play again with them like when I was a kid. I'm afraid to imagine she won't be calling in my birthday. She had a very sad life, I don't believe in religion, heaen or hell.... but if it's something else out there, I hope she can finally be happy.

>>16523624
Do you think it'd be possible to augment the opiate with NSAIDS and some sort of CBD compound--like Tylenol #3 but with a cannabinoid tincture backing it up? As much as either of us could do to reduce the presence opiate, the better.

(I'm not even that against opiates, but she's on some crazy jihad against them. She's impossibly stubborn to the point of it being a character flaw. This is more a selling point I can use to de-demonize them for her.)

I'm trying to see the path in front of me now but I'm just wandering, wondering about you. I want this thirst for you to go away. I wish you'd never talked to me. I want peace of mind, because I know I can't have you. But God I can't help wanting you.

I hope you are honest with me soon. I'll understand. I need to get over it if that's the case and I'd rather not drag it out.

If I don't find a job soon I'm going to kill myself.

>>16523735
>>16523764
Both of you

Initials or identifying details

NAO

I'm worried I'm becoming an alcoholic. I am still relatively young so most of my social interactions center around drinking, and I wonder if I stop if I'll be left without a social life. I am also worried that my significant other looks down upon me because I do have nights when I get carried away drinking and am not actively pursuing a career (I have a job though). I feel like I do have potential to do something, but I don't know what, I don't have any real passions.. I wish I wasn't so apathetic...

>>16523788
Do you have Delirium Tremens?

If you can go 3 days without drinking, and not have the shakes, fever, sweats, and hallucinations, you're not quite an alcoholic yet.

BTW, I am you. I'm drunk now. I feel the same earges you do. You aren't alone.

>>16523783
Doubt he's on here. That would be crazy though.

Fuck you Megan. Seriously quit pretending you're such hot shit. Just because you're a fucking Jesus loving republican doesn't mean you're better than everyone else.

By the way, you're NOT Native American. You're 1/64th whatever quit acting like you're Native. I know you hate being white so much but just stop!

Just because your full blood Irish father tried having sex with you doesn't mean you should abandon your entires race and claim one that isn't even yours.

Also, you complain about men not respecting you but you keep going to and staying with men that treat you so bad. You don't need to dick hop to find a penis that doesn't remind you of your father.

You're a fat, redneck,Jesus loving, redneck bitch with daddy issues. Your kind is a dime a dozen. You're nothing special.

>>16523649
It sounds as if she, or someone close to her, had an abuse issue. Explaining that these levels of pain are seriously impacting your lives, and proper use of narcotic medications could change this for the better... You, and possibly your doctor, should have a frank discussion about this situation, and treatment options.

Opiate medication can be supplemented, but I do you have your medical history, nor am I doctor. This is definitely a reason to consult your doctor, and then your wife; after those talks would be when to possibly meet with the doctor together.

>>16522736
>>16523404
Both of you

Initials or identifying details

NAO

>>16523931
Not my wife (we're both young), but pretty fucking close to tell you the truth. She's really something incredible.
Spot-on diagnosis, by the way, she was sexually abused by her first boyfriend. I realize that you could've meant narcotic abuse, but I definitely see a corollary between the years of getting over the idea that she was bad/wrong/damaged and then refusing to aggressively manage her pain in the way that 99% of people do.
That's an interesting idea, meeting with the doctor together. She's way further along in trying to treat her pain medically than I am (early sports injuries on her part, I thought everyone was always in pain on my part), so she might not respond to that well--but she also feels isolated in it. The rest of her family is pretty pain-free and mine is constantly in pretty significant pain; maybe what she could use is somebody to get help WITH her so she can see it like a team effort.

My best friend met a girl.
Within a month they were dating.
Within 3 months, they were engaged.

She's a child. In her 20s and is totally dependant on her parents.

He and I used to be flatmates. But now she's always over and she's like a leech. He cooks for her. He cleans her clothes. She just sleeps all the time and complains.

She's also borderline personality. And suicidal.

I've been friends with him for 15 years. We were best friends for so many years.

But since he met her, we haven't been friends. That hurt me. I thought we were always going to be there for each other. Like, if whenever shit hit, we'd be back to back to face it all.

But not any more. He totally left me hanging for this trainwreck of a woman.

I hope in a year, he'll realize how much she's been lying to him.

I don't want to see in 10 years, she divorcing him with his child.

All he sees is being like his parents. He doesn't see that she's lying and deceptive and utterly dependant.
She's going to find another man to leach off of.

He was my brother.
My brother.
I loved him.

But now all I see is disaster.

>>16523982
I am glad my advice helped, and I think you're probably on the right track in facing it together, as a team.

A long, serious conversation is in your future. Ask her to reverse your roles, and you both try to empathize/view from said position.

The reason I'm so miserable lately is because of you. I love you. You're so important to me. I just want to be with you. I want to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much you mean to me. You've been gone and now you're back but we're so busy. I have these strong feelings bottled up and I've had them for a while and I just so badly want to blurt them out, get them off my chest. God, do I love you.

I'm sure I'll get to tell you soon, but probably not as passionately or as soon as I want to. I guess a nice big long hug will be enough to tide me over. I'm so just bottled up.

See you soon, love.

About a month ago I got fed up with being depressed, always stressed, never getting enough sleep etc. I left work and started looking for ways to heal my mind.
Getting into meditation was the best decision I could have made. When I started it I became so sick and tired I'd sleep all day. Now I am the happiest I've ever been, it's like I've gone trough a painful metamorphosis.
I am at peace with myself.
Reading people complaining about their problems in these threads makes me understand that I am no longer one of you guys. These threads are the exact reason meditation was invented.

I'm changing, that's good, I guess. Just deleted my rekt folder. No longer laugh at people getting hurt or dying. Dunno what the fuck I was thinking, but good riddance. Now where's my damn cookie?

>>16524271
Getting rid of that garbage is enough of a reward itself.

I saw two of my friends die by gun shot during high school. I saw another become horribly disfigured while I was in the Navy. The pills don't help. University isn't working out. I can't stop having nightmares. My mother's voice on the phone is the only thing that convinces me that suicide isn't the only way out. All of my ambitions and all of my hard work today is just a facade for this unbearable guilt and fear that I feel with every passing moment.

I'm so scared and lonely.

>>16524288
I'd say MDMA assisted therapy but it will be five years until it's legal so try regular therapy. PTSD is a bitch famicom

>>16524304
I'm sorry anon. It will be okay. I'd hold you if I could. Things will get better.

Some days I dance around my room listening to Weezer pretending I'm on stage with them.

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>>16524317
Thank you.

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I was feeling decent the past week or two but now I just feel like shit.
I've got no chance of making it with my skills. It's too late to try to get better and go to school and even if I do, I'll be competing against people younger and better than me.
I want to go back in time and strangle younger me for being shit at HS and falling into that pit of eating disorders and depression. I wish I could strangle myself right now.

Too long didn't write

im a fucking mistake, haven't had a gf in 5 years, i'm 26 years old, bailed from uni, can't think a single good thing about me desu, i don't want to be this way, i don't want to be period

Well... You were right, I was wrong. Now everyone can do the told you so song and dance. Oh well. I'll never stop falling in love. I'm going to love my next boyfriend better. It stings a little that he doesn't care but it makes it much easier to move on asap.

>>16524260
can you pls be my bf

Your "ideas" (which are probably stolen from someone else) aint shit. You ain't shit. You are not, and never will be, "making major moves". Desperately trying to be involved in big projects and taking credit for them isn't called "making moves" its called being a wannabe and a liar. People want to fit in this part of the scene so much they'll lie to look like they made it there but the rest of us know you're phony.
You're a leech trying to wave ride as hard as you can in an industry you don't belong or work in. You want all the benefits of my job without putting in the effort & investing, you're repulsive. You don't realize what it actually means to organize this, instead you minimally "help" for the sake of your own benefit while trying to make everyone think you're behind the scenes. And then you try to ruin & blackmail the entire project because you got called out.

i need to find a job

im 26. Male. In shape.

im too dumb to do anything crazy smart like electrical engineering or whatever and i dont hold any degrees. Whats a good job for me?

I fucking said how you looking and touching yourself to prostitutes made me feel.
It's gone now all 3gb of the shit!
You'll notice I didn't delete the cartoon maybe you'll take the fucking hint now.

>>16523404
It would not matter if I did; we will never be together again.

>>16524634
if you need quick money + want to improve your interpersonal skills be a waiter, being in shape is a benefit you just need to add a little bit of charm, every "crazy smart" career is difficult but someday you should give yourself a chance and study, in 5 or so years, don't underestimate yourself

>>16523628

Thank you for your response, anon. It's just frustrating feeling 'behind', but then again I shouldn't compare myself to others, right? We all go at our own pace and what matters is that I keep moving.

Thank you again, man. I'm just two away from 30 and your post helped a lot. I wish you luck, anon.

>>16523735
If it is you, I'm sorry.

>>16524639
It would matter, and you know this; refusing to acknowledge it will not make it somehow easier. Has it been easy? Do you not find yourself wondering how I am these days?

Why respond, after all this time? There must be some reason, as you were never one for sentimentality.

>>16524654
Initials?

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Oh my god, fuck you Bank of America.
It kept paying my fucking subscriptions when it ran out of money, thus subjecting me to overdraft fees.
I moved overseas and I am looking for a new job, but you FUCKING MAKING ME GO -$87 DOES NOT HELP MY CASE.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU THREATENING TO RAISE THE BILL IF I DON'T PAY BY TOMORROW??
I LITERALLY JUST GOT MY TFN AND MEDICARE CARD. I CAN'T JUST MAGICALLY MAKE MONEY APPEAR.
SO WHAT, IF I DON'T PAY IN A MONTH I'LL BE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT???

FUCKING JEW RATS WHY THE FUCK DID MY PARENTS SIGN ME UP FOR THAT STUPID ASS BANK GOD
DOESN'T HELP THAT THEY WEREN'T BORN IN AMERICA SO THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE DOING

I'M DONE WITH AMERICANS AND THEIR FUCKING JEW COMPANIES JEWING PEOPLE OVER.
JEEEEWWWWS.

You're the kind of guy I would fall in love with. Simple, unassuming, no one I know would ever choose you to be the one. If I'm lucky, I'll find the way to your heart. If I'm lucky, you will be the one to win mine.

No one would ever expect it, and that's why I like you. But it's beyond that. I get the feeling that you're the type that the more I get to know you, the deeper I would fall.

Is that strange? You just seem to be my kind.

>>16524650
Initials?

This shit here is fascinating. I can't decide if it's fucked up or if it's beautiful. It's like the polar opposite of /s/ -- the antithesis of all the pics of women bent over spreading their asses.

>>16524817
T

>>16524654
It would not matter because again, we will never be together. Those curtains closed long ago on the final night.

You saying I'm not sentimental goes to show how much you no longer know me. Heartbreaking, but it is to be expected after all this time.

woke up and still missed you. i just really, really want to hug.

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>>16524645
Yeah, it's frustrating feeling behind, but that frustration can develop to self-loathing which will hold us back even more, and what's the point in that. I got pretty depressed at some point, and the feeling of wasting my life, not doing or being able to do anything, just existing as the years flew by - it was really crushing. The self-loathing was both unbearable and paralyzing. I guess I'm lucky I have understanding parents who put me in therapy and who can support me through my pathetic bullshit, ha. Mom's recently started to talk to me about her friends who have kids my age and younger, who had bright futures (one even went to an Ivy League uni) but who developed drug addictions or such, someone's daughter got leukemia, those sort of things, and it's clear she's trying to tell me that she's glad at least I'm not in a shape like that. It could always be worse.

Also in my prep class there's a girl who works this McJob where there's also a 30+ person there who dreams of shifting careers, like me, and who considered coming to the same course we're in but who felt too ashamed in the end to mingle with the recent high school grads. So it's one more year at least for her of staying in the same place in life, dreaming of something else and feeling unhappy. But for me, even this feeling of moving, of finally doing something anything, to get closer to becoming legit productive and making something out of my life has been great. Sure my progress may be slow, I'm maybe a decade older than the others, but so what. Better than wasting any more years depressed in my apartment.

Also this autumn I've seen 2 articles in the media about people who completely changed careers around 40. It helped too.

People's lives follow different paths. Mine had this longer detour and a depression pit stop. I can waste more years crying in a puddle of self-pity about it or accept it, take it as "life experience" and make the most of the life I have left.

We can do it, anon.

>>16524888
So you do still love me... How heartbreakingly tragic.

You have never been sentimental after cutting one from your life, I should have phrased that differently, however. Realize that despite it all, I still love you, and I am sorry you will never know the man I have become.

Why did you respond? After saying I can no longer read these threads, the one channel we have left to us, no less.

>>16525045
The realization that I may never see you here again.

You probably don't browse this site, I don't think it's your style. But I need to get this off my chest.
What do you want from me? What could you possibly have to say to me that you couldn't have said 2 years ago? You've tried multiple times this past year to contact me, and each time I blocked you. Then, you went out of your way to contact my mother to ask how I'm doing. She told you I moved across the state and that I'm engaged. Your response was "best of luck with everything", and so I thought that would be the end of that, and then I see you tried to contact me AGAIN. Have some respect! You have a kid now, dude, you should really have more boundaries than to try and contact an old ex. I told you I want nothing to do with you, and I meant it. After everything that happened, do you really think I'll accept you into my life? No. Not in any way, shape or form. So please, just move on with your life and leave me alone.

>>16524569
I am grill, b-but I can try...

>>16525192
All I do is work, go the gym, and come back to my apartment. That, and think on everything I could have done differently, how I should have sought help sooner, and how we could have forever. It is heartbreaking, more so, as I have done so well to reestablish myself, and yet it all feels so hollow.

You may never see me, or hear my voice, again. You are smart, and I have no doubt you will inevitably break down why you chose to respond, particularly in this situation, and why you have been in these threads to begin with. I know you are stubborn, what we are both feeling; we know each other better than anyone else ever will, but I want these realizations to be your own. If that time ever comes, you know my number.

I will not leave these threads, at least not yet. It obviously means something to both of us, one way or another.

All I ever do is be obsessed about my friend and make fake postings about him. I'm sorry if you think any of these anonymous postings are from anyone you know. I'm just a dumb shit troll.

J

this thread is almost gone but i just want you to know that i want to see you more than anything