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Long Distance relationships

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I was just wondering, how do you guys manage your long distance relationships? How do you stay close? How often do you voice/video call? Do you plan on meeting, Have you already met them? if so, how expensive was your trip?
I have been in a LDR for over a year and plan on meeting him soon. give me advice!
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I talk to her every day, if we can skype , we skype for hours and hours, as much as we can, we play games together as much as we can, laugh and make jokes, try to have real conversation, help each other with homework or anything either of us need, and as well as just talk. We talk from when we're both awake and ready to engage others, and we stop when ever shes tired or whenever im tired or we just have other shit to do. I plan on meeting her for the first time in about a year and a half. Planning on spending a week or two where she lives. Ive been friends with her for about 3 years, dated her for 9 months ,we broke up during the summer, it was a tiny mess, we both fixed our shit, started talking again, and now we're in that weird "relationship not relationship" phase.

The key to everything in a LDR is communication, and making sure you know EXACTLY what you want to say.
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>>16508527

>Met her multiple times
>visited her 5 times she visited me once over 2 years
>rent and hotel and plane tickets were around 800-1000 depending on time of year
>she ended up cheating on me
>>
Skype every day, chat almost constantly when possible, be extremely blunt and open with each other, dates as often as we can, usually every couple weeks.

It's hell. But I love her.
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>>16508592
Fuck dude that's depressing.
>>
you don't, they don't work.

Our brain is simply wired to become close to people we are around a lot, and to distance us from people we rarely ever see.
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>>16509043
They can work if you put in a hellacious amount of effort and time. But you need an iron will.
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>>16509206
>But you need an iron will.
BOTH of you need an iron will. Even if you have it, she won't

see
>>16508592
>>
>>16509043
This.
But i'm still gonna do it anyway because I have no will power.
>>
They only work if you actually plan to meet.
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>>16508527
Iron will.

My girl and I call and text everyday, but FUCK I think it's too much. I've run into the problem where I run out of stuff to talk about, and it's me just saying "yeah", "uh huh", "mmhmm" when she talks about the most MUNDANE things.

Plus, we're not even married and she asks "how much did that cost", or "how was your paycheck this week?"

Wot?

Anyway, constant communication is good, or key, or whatever, but everyday and for several hours?
You'll grow to dislike that phone call or text message.
>>
>>16508527
I had to go through that...was with a girl for an year and a half and she went to study abroad...we continued our relationship ...i was ready to wait for her and all that...i really loved her ...but guess she couldnt wait :/ long story short she fucked a dude ...i found out about it when i went to visit her / it cost me a few paychecks to make it btw had to get plane tickets and all that/ ...i found out about the sex part...and i didnt tell her because i had no right to know desu...i did the worst thing ever and went through her msgs with this dude ,cuz i noticed he was chatting in .."a way" if u catch my drift....btw trust me on this one ...never browse msgs that are not yours its not worth it ,and its not the right thing to do..i regret it.


TLDR : what im trying to say is ...odds are not in your favor ,because both of you must want this a lot!
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>>16508527
My Bro does have a long relationship to a girl in Indonesia ( He's from Germany )

He is chatting with her everyday, everyhour and every opportunity. He just looks at his phone 24/7 caring about her since Q1 2015.

Now he is planning a flight to Indonesia that costs about 1,300€ and he's gonna sleep in a 3 stars hotel as well which costs about 500€ for 2 weeks this December. ( Frankfurt - Amsterdam - Jakarta ).

To bo honest, i am very worried about him. Worried about what would or will happen to him in Indonesia, where i have no interference with him.

My whole family is against it; Even i.
Saying it is a waste of money.


tl:dr : Bro has a gf relationship Germany-Indonesia . He loves her much even wants to visit her. Whole family against it.
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Met the most amazing girl 2 years ago and we fell in love with each other and started dating. After a year she went to school in the US. Communication was good and we talked everyday all the time. Lots of talk about our future together and marriage and kids and all that. She came home for the summer and I spent as much time as I could afford to with her (not much as I'd like due to my shitty working hours and fact that she started an internship as well). After she went back to school again, things started to change. She got busier, which is understandable with college and all that. But it came to the point where we had a talk and she said she wasn't sure if she felt the same way anymore. I guess that was the end of the honeymoon phase. We've been through some shit since then but we're trying to make it work. She figures we got comfy and stopped putting effort. We'll see how it goes. She may also stay there for a while to pay off her student loan faster because wages are better there and the US dollar is worth almost 3 times as much as our local currency. I don't want to lose her though, she's still the most amazing person I've ever met. But at the same time I don't want to set her back and want the best for her.

LDRs are hard OP. They are very hard. They may start off great, but unless you two can maintain physical contact, it will get pretty fucking hard. Even if you have a will of steel, it doesn't mean she will. Remember women are pulled and tugged by their feelings. And even if it doesn't come down to a matter of the heart, life may happen and she'll get a better deal where she is, while you'll be better off where you are.
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>>16508527
that picture posted where did thou get it is the most beautiful thing ever
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>>16508527
I was in two Long Distance relationships. One started as one and the other one evolved into one for an entire year I was studying in Japan.

The one started as Long Distance didn't work out. I fell like this shit never works since there is really no time to get to know each other. Talking online and texting and shit is great but it's still different when you hang out, sit on the couch together go out with friends. If you miss that part it's actually really hard to justify all the cruel alone time and breaking up/cheating feels easier/more justified.

The second one was still fresh, but I knew her for a long time. So we could spend the time before my depearture pretty much whenever possible. It also helped to know that it would only be for one year.

Since I was in Japan and she was staying in Germany, the high prices of flight tickets plus her also being in college (no money) ment that we could only meet twice for two weeks each during that time.

Skyped pretty much every day, though.

Knowing that the other person wouldn't cheat is also a great motivator. She basically hates every person on the planet except for me and a few friends. Her sex drive is also pretty low. And I also believed in her not wanting to cheat.

For me it was also easy. Although I was a white guy in Japan and nearly every girl on campus wanted to sleep with me (we were only two white guys at the entire college), I literally can't fuck a Japanese woman. I can't even masturbate to them. I have nothing against them, but I am somehow sexually racist towards every woman that is not white. And I mean nearly albino white. It weird, but I was just annoyed at the girls flirting with me.

But yeah, having spent a lot of time before the LDR is key, all well as communicating at least 4-5 per week, as well as trusting your partner and yourself not to cheat.
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Depends a lot on space and timescales. I live in Edinburgh and my girlfriend lives in York, so it's really not that far at all compared to some of the other replies ITT. Gonna reply anyway. We come from the same town, met in school and have been dating for what will be 2 years next month. Christmas, Easter, summer are the times we move back home. At that point it's standard bf/gf setup, see eachother every third day. I realise I'm very lucky.
We text each day, some days a lot others not so much. We are both at university so some days we're busy or tired or not much as happened, so we're quiet. Good morning / goodnight is usually standard. We like to think we aren't clingy but more than 8 hours of silence and usually one of us breaks it, even if it means talking about how nothing is new. It's something, which is better than nothing. If you're thinking about them, tell them. When I'm working on my own in the library, a text from her like that means a lot.
We Skype once or twice a week, we visit eachother for one weekend each semester. We have organised to visit home at the same weekend twice before, but between spending time with friends and family, the small amount of time we get just leaves you wanting more, so we don't do that very often.
When it's time to leave after the weekend or semester starting again it's really sad.
We went through a bad time, we used to go to Edinburgh together for university, but she developed anxiety issues and had to drop out for a year to get them sorted, and it left me feeling borderline depressed, like there was nothing worthwhile in that city for me anymore. It was probably the lowest point for us both. It caused some friction between us, and at that point we knew we couldn't just rush into living together. It's important to remember who and what is waiting on the other end, and that's what's keeping the LDR I'm in stable and healthy. But like I say, I'm privileged I get to see her as often as I do.
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