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Was dumped recently, broken hearted etc., trying to move on.

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Was dumped recently, broken hearted etc., trying to move on. I think dating would be weird but i feel i need to at least start trying soon.

So im trying to think of any girls i may know before i start going to apps and such. Theres one in particular im interested in, but it may be weird to message her. Were 26 now and we havent spoken since early high school. I had the hugest crush on her, and we ended up becoming pretty close friends. I was super beta though and never made a move, and she moved the next year. But we live in the same city now, and i feel more confident. Would it be weird to message her? We didnt keep in touch much when she moved, although we probably have caught up a few times over the years, so it could technically be more random...
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Oops, when i said we havent spoken since early high school, i mean like hang out. Weve spoken since on facebook a few times
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If you don't see her ever, you have nothing to lose, right? I'd go for it, but I wouldn't be too hopeful.
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>>16504738
Yeah, i suppose so. im also kind of wondering how to go about it. I havent asked out a girl in forever, im wondering if i should talk to her a few times or just straight up ask her out. Blah, i guess ill feel it out, unless anyone has any suggestions
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I wouldn't message her. If she likes you, she message you. I'd go out and talk to women in real life and forget about her. My friend in highschool once told a girl in class I liked her. I didn't, but I just think he did it to bully me. Needless to say, he wasn't that much of a friend after all. Made me look like an idiot. Anyway, the girl rejected me. Understandable, I would have too if I were her. If he can't even go up and strike up a conversation with her, he obviously lacks confidence. But I'm getting off track here, to reiterate: do not message her. She'll know what's up and will start to play games. Most broads do. I'd just start chatting up bitches in real life. That way you can also screen them. It's not just you going up and presenting yourself on a silver platter. You can actually see if you like this girl in real life. Take this advice from me. I myself have been dealing with a bunch of crazy women and you don't wanna go there. Just screen hard and have fun out there, ok? All right, enjoy brother.
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>>16504759
Ha... Right. Good call tho tbqh. Fuck dis bitch.
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>>16504744
Well there's two ways you could go with it, in my opinion.

You could just send her a message on Facebook to catch up, like you have been occasionally over the last 8 years, mention grabbing coffee or something, and then approaching as an old acquaintance, but to be honest if you've been catching up with this girl for 8 years she probably knows you had a crush on her, which means it might make more sense to go with your other option.
Your other option would be to send her a message blatantly asking her out, the issue with that is wording it in a way that doesn't make you sound like a weirdo. It's not often people come back into your life after 8 years of not seeing each other.

If you go with option 1, I'd go with something like "Hey <name>, It's been a while since we've talked. I noticed you moved to <city>, I live there too! We should catch up over drinks sometime!"

If you go with option 2, I'd make it similar but with a more date-like vibe to it, something like:
"Hey <name>, It's been a while since we've talked. I noticed you moved to <city>, I live there too! You should let me buy you a drink over at <your favorite bars name> and we'll catch up!"
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>>16504796
Thanks, appreciate it. Might use that advice on another girl or two who ive been more recently acquainted with though. Maybe one day ill decide to message this one but its really kind of random, shes just a pretty girl i used to talk to. I suppose ill feel it out, if i message her just take it slow. Thanks!
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>>16504759
I disagree with this. Most people wouldn't message someone they haven't seen in so long in the first place. There's no room for her to "like him" because they haven't seen each other since they were kids. OP is going out on a limb with this and from the info given there's basically no risk involved. He could send something really dumb like "Hey you were super hot in high school, wanna let me take you out on a date?" and it would still be better than not trying at all.

Also, I feel like most 26 year old women aren't going to play games with you, and if they do it won't be hard to catch, and you can just stop talking to her.
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>>16504807
I suppose thats true too, honestly ya the only thing holding me back is still the fear of rejection which is pretty lame, so if i see her online sometime and im in the mood, may be thatill give it a shot.
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>>16504818
Yeah, fear of rejection is a problem for a lot of people, including myself sometimes. But occasionally I take a step back and realize that getting rejected is better than not trying because no matter what happens the world is gonna keep on spinning, so I'd might as well take the chance.

Even after getting rejected I still usually feel excited because I had the balls to try. Unless I did something super embarrassing, and then I'm too busy feeling embarrassed to feel excited.
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>>16504796
Right, can I please buy you a drink your highness? Will you please enlighten me with your presence, because I'm really just a stinking turd without you! Don't do that. Don't message her. Just let it go and walk away. Find other women who are more pleasant to be around and who will make an effort to meet you, because they actually like you too. Take this advice from me, been there before. Same girls, different story. It's really just those girls I had problems with. Never happened before in my life with other women. Almost makes ya wonder, maybe it's not me. Maybe it's them. If people mistreat you and lie about their own involvement, moving on is always the way to go. But don't take my advice, go out and see for yourself. Don't be bitter, though. Be nice to women who are nice to you. And let the others go.
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>>16504842
Man I don't know what happened with you but I don't think OP ever mentioned her lying or mistreating him in any way. I can agree with you when it comes to letting people go who are bad people.

I mean I feel like you're looking at things from a specific standpoint. Maybe she didn't have a crush on him in highschool or anything, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't be open to going out with him now. It's just a date, it's not like she's committing to anything.
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>>16504881
Yep, appreciate the words, but yeah the girl I mentioned in the OP never mistreated me or anything. however, she very likely knew i had a crush on her, and she very likely didnt feel the same at the time - but yeah, i guess that doesnt stop me from just giving it a shot
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>>16504881
Of course. My response is still the way to go, though. But be my guest and try to sell yourself and buy her affections with a drink. Sure, you can pay to be nice, but don't be beta about. It's all in the vibe and context. If she calls me an asshole playfully it's all fun and games but when she calls me my friend with that undertone of I hope you fucking die you worm, it's more like yea, I've seen enough of you for like forever.
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yo run a lap or meditate first and then just ask abt her shit but try to replicate organic humor and then say you wanna hang out

Dont ask so many questions, adapt the mindset idk


ive never been that good but I will say the mind is the one out to make you feel bad
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>>16504893
She'll come to you if she feels the same way. It's not your job to beg pussy. She beg for dick is she wants to or just ask, but stop chasing dat snatch already.
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>>16504895
>>16504898
I gotcha, and i dont think id ask to buy her a drink or anything, if anything just meet for a drink.

>>16504897
Good call definitely. Ive actually been meditating a bit since my break up. I think its actually been doing good things for my mind.
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>>16504895
I don't know where you guys live but in America it's a pretty standard courting practice to grab drinks with someone, and if it's a date, whoever initiates the date also usually pays for it. It's not that you're buying someone's affections or you're paying them to be with your or whatever, a beer at a bar usually costs something like $2.50, so if you each get 4 beers you're only spending an extra $10. $10 is pretty meaningless to most people here. It's more of a gesture.

Unless she's jobless and an alcoholic, no girl is going to go out and spend a whole night talking with a guy she doesn't want to be spending time with just for four beers.
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>>16504898
Also ya as someone said before theres no real reason shed come to me or anything, we havent seen each other in years
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>>16504898
Asking someone on a date isn't "begging for pussy". You're reading way too far into dating culture.

If you ask her out and she says no, that's a reasonable time to "stop chasing dat snatch".
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>>16504912
It's about not seeming like you want to buy your way into her pants. She's not a hooker and you're not a loser. If you can put that vibe out there and you're ok with it, sure buy her the moon if you like. It's up to you.
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>>16504915
Of course there is one if she likes you. I wouldn't chase after a girl in the situation you presented. Meeting girls in real life would be much easier and more fun. If there wasn't something in highschool, I'm sure there isn't something now.
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>>16504917
If you know it all so well, why are you asking for advice. Take your own advice and leave.
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>>16504955
I'm not OP, I'm
>>16504738
>>16504796
>>16504807
>>16504840
>>16504881
>>16504912
>>16504917
This guy.

Also:
>>16504953
Like I said earlier, very, very few people would remember someone from their past and think "I should ask them out on a date", but some people do, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's no way she likes him after not seeing him for like eight years. From the sound of it, OP isn't super into this girl either, she just sparks his interest. And maybe if he messages her, she'll see a picture of him and think he's attractive and she'll think "What the hell, maybe it'll be fun."

And if she is actually the awful person you're describing, she'll respond with something like "Eww, no", and then OP loses nothing. Maybe he'd feel down on himself for a night, but that's a small price to pay for the feeling that you took a chance.
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>>16504967
Right, thanks, if i see her online ill give it a shot... Will also try and go out to bars and such to meet girls
Thread posts: 26
Thread images: 2


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