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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.

>Frog
Also piss off.
>>
>Get a girl's number
>She seems disinterested and said "Oh hi" after I texter her "Hey xxxx, it's anon. What's going on? You gave me your number at so and so the other day"

What say?
>>
>>16501160
"What's going on" is a terrible starter. Do you actually have a reason to text her?
>>
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Forgot my image. Anyway...

I've met an IRL equivalent of Christ-chan who aside from being devout is also pretty socially awkward.

I really like her, so I marshalled my courage and kicked off this conversation.

It ended just the way you see in the picture about 3 hours ago.

What did I do wrong?
>>
>>16501165
I think she's cute and want to take her on a date?
>>
>2 days ago
Gf said she has been overcome by a weird mood where she just wants to be completely alone.

>1 day ago
We discuss thanksgiving plans and how we're going to work out having 2 thanksgivings in one day. She gets frustrated at some point and just says not to come over. I asked her why, and she said that she wants a break. She then explains that she feels like she doesn't deserve me. I tell her we'll talk about it when I get home(I was at a show last night) and she said "You literally deserve better." After I get out of the show she says "Just ignore everything I said. We're fine. It's fine." That's a pile of shit. I ask her what changed her mind and she said to just ignore everything.

>Today
We wake up and everything seems fine until the subject of christmas comes up. She got really defensive when I was talking about something I wanted to get her and told me not to get her anything. I asked her what's wrong and she said it's nothing. After picking at it for a bit she said "Just stop. Please." I change the subject and now she's talking really short with me. Like half sentence replies. After about 10 minutes of conversation she just stopped replying.

Girls: I don't expect you to understand exactly what is happening, but what the fuck is happening? We've been together for almost 4 months and she's only ever done this once, when she was feeling really bad about something and didn't want to confess about it.
>>
>>16501168
you didn't do anyhting wrong, dude, may she is this "socially awkward" person she says or she isn't interested in you

im not that good at receiving compliments too, but if i like the person and the compliment, i'd thank them
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>>16501190
That's not what I meant. But since that's all you have to say to her, ask her out. Duh

>>16501168
You apologised for flirting which she said makes her uncomfortable, and then went on and flirted again
>>
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Anyone here was shit at 1v1 conversations and managed to get better at it?

Im ok at talking in a group, i can say whatever, joke, make people laugh, then back down and let the coversation carry on.
But when im alone with someone else i have to actually be interesting and do 50% of the talking, which i suck at.

I dont even think its about me being shy, its just about not having anything to say, i consider myself to be a pretty boring person and most of my hobbies are stuff you shouldnt really bring up in a conversation.

Anyone got any advice on that?
>>
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>>16501200
I took her cue of "I don't find it objectionable" to mean that she was surprised at first but didn't really mind. I tested the waters with a compliment and she said "thank you" (in her way at least) so I took that as a green light, or at least a yellow one.

Pic related, huh?
>>
How do you perceive someone lightly touching your arms or legs while you two are talking?
>>
>>16501160
>>16501160
>Sorry I'm at work. And can't respond right away

What say? I wanna set up a date but awkward.
>>
>>16501193
Self-esteem issues?
Sounds like it's too early to already be cheating and acting that way because of it. If you would have been in a relationship for a while, I wouldn't rule it out though.

>>16501206
I see another problem in that text. She said she is only interested in something serious and doesn't want to date guys doing hook up sex. It reads like you kind of dodged that indirect question of hers.
She wanted to know whether you are serious about your dating in general and you kinda not answering that might have her belief you are one of the guys she doesn't want to date.
>>
>>16501233
>That's okay, I'll just talk to you later
Then wait a day. A whole day. She will either text you, or not. If she doesn't, then wait until the next day to text her. Hopefully you'll catch her on her day off.
>>
asked in the last thread, only got a half response

Girls... what advice would you give a 30 year old virgin guy? Or should they give up? Is this a huge dealbreaking trait?
>>
>>16501246
That's not too hands off?
Plus tomorrow's a holiday so does that count? I'm confused
>>
>>16501256
Woops forgot about the holiday.
My response came from the fact that some girls try to be polite when they don't want to talk to you. Try just asking her how her thanksgiving is at around 8 or 9.
>>
Asked this earlier in the last thread, guess it got drowned by too much text, so I'll keep it shorter:
Have a sister I didn't really get along with. She turned around full 180° lately.
Is it normal for a younger sister to flirt with her brother? How much of that is still normal?
>>
>>16501267
Describe said flirting
>>
>>16501273
Some teasing and nicknames are nothing I would be wondering about (and it's there).
But she has been making a lot of physical contact. I am from Germany, our levels of physical contact are way, way below American ones, even in family all you do is hug someone as a hello or goodbye, yet she sits so close to me our hips are touching, rests her head on my shoulder, insists on my massaging my neck after a long day, things like that.
She looks at me and smiles when I look back.
But the weirdest thing to me is her using a lot of innuendo when talking to me lately. My family isn't prude, but nobody does that with anyone, besides her with me.
I am just wondering whether that's just normal and her testing her skills on me or something. Maybe she just doesn't know how to have a normal relationship with me either as we haven't had one for years.
But based on you having to ask I take it that at least some flirting is perfectly normal, right? Just have no clue about this and it really does take a lot of flirting for me to even notice it. I feel like it has been going on and slowly escalating for a short while now, but I just never noticed.
>>
For the guys: Femanon here. I give and get a fair amount of platonic hugs from guys. Usually in a greeting type setting. There's this one guy i really like and the last time he gave me a hug, he maneuvered it to be cheek to cheek. He's never hugged me like that before. Does that mean anything? Do i have a shot at the d?
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>>16501316
You have a shot for sure(Manon here) get the D and he gets the V and we all go to bed happy.
>>
>>16501233
>No worries. I'll catch you later
>I can still chat if you want. It just won't be fast responses until after 10

She wants to talk, right?!
>>
>>16501321
How do i approach said d while still allowing him to be the hunter that his primal instinct needs to be, but still let him know i want it?
And protect my feelings if he's not interested lol
>>
>>16501273
>>16501310
There's lots more I didn't mention now because it seems pretty basic and normal to me, btw. It would have taken a few posts to write it all down.

>>16501316
Possibly. Might have been accidental though too and him feeling kinda awkward about it.
There is just too little information we got there.
If you want him, go for it. Simply ask him out on a date. If you are at least moderately good looking, chances are he will go out with you and be open for the idea.
For most of the girls I know it'd be pretty easy to get with most of the guys I know.
>>
>>16501328
Have you tried flirting?
Most guys I know aren't good on picking up the subtle hints women seem to think is enough. Don't overdo it, but if you have been flirting with him, you simply need to up it little by little until he actually picks up on it.
Or have a mutual friend tell him something along the lines of "dude, she was totally flirting with you" or "the way she talks about you, I think she likes you". That's what I actually do hear from friends, so I wouldn't think it's weird or unusual for them to tell me.
>>
for the girls:
if a relatively good looking 30 y.o. guy told you that he's never had a girlfriend, let alone sex, how would you feel/what would you think about him?
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>>16501316
The bottom line is: Are you ugly? Are you fat?

If no to both, then he wants to fuck you. That's it.
>>
This girl and I hung out a few times, had sex on the first date which was totally unexpected. We hung out for 3 consecutive afternoons/nights after that, not having sex. She says now that we are taking it too fast and that she needs space. Am I fucked? Not sure how to keep her interested with minimal contact.
>>
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Do girls really "practice kissing" with each other in high school?
>>
Girls

How small is literally too small? Take example legit micropenises.
>>
>>16501371
I would reserve judgement and ask why first. Everyone has a reason behind their actions. It's okay. Better than a 30 yr old guy with every std under the sun.
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>>16501475
5<
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>>16501432
Yes. Every girl has has their lesbian moments. I promise. No matter what they say. I swear.
>>
>>16501371
Obviously if she's going to go on a date with you or even talk to you (girls don't talk to ugly guys. Sorry but it's true. ) she thinks you're cute. If she thinks your cute, you will probably be fine. Unless you're trying for a hoe. Hoes like experience. But women who want you for you, will see that as a challenge and try to be the first. Good luck
>>
>>16501512
I second this
>>
>>16501536
>I promise. No matter what they say. I swear.
You can't guarantee that.
>>
>>16501252

no one?
>>
how do you tell random women in real life/FB/twitter/whatever that you simply want sex?
>>
>>16501558
Girls like fuckers who act like they know everything.
You're getting older. Maybe a bit grey.

They like that shie.
Just act like the supreme shit of all time.

The moment you act like a human being, they leave you.
That's the thing about women. They hate humans. They love heroes. Learn that and act like it.
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>>16501573
Sam Kinison pls go
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>>16501573
what if you are like that, but ALSO notoriously insecure?
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>>16501583
GO WHERE THE FOOD IS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>
>>16501168
She's weird. In the not good way.
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>>16501209
If I'm attracted to the person it's very nice, if not it's uncomfortable.
>>
>>16501325
God, texting is the fucking worst. Just go out on a date and talk there.
>>
>>16501488
>>16501548
thanks for the advice
honestly, I'd like to have some fun for a while before getting in a stable relationship... guess I won't be telling anyone about my lack of experience :(
>>
>>16501371
That's a huge red flag, I'm looking for someone in the same stage of life as me.

If you really want a shot just pretend you know what you're doing and don't mention it until she expressly asks. Don't go out of your way to be deceptive, but definitely play it more mysterious.
>>
>>16501536
>>16501432
Yeah, no. Sorry to ruin your wet dream.
>>
>>16501193
Ah, I love this one because it applies to both women and men. "You deserve better" is a universal line. It means just that - that you deserve better. When a person tells you this, man or woman, it means they realize that you are putting more devotion and love into the relationship. Devotion and love that they're not willing or capable of returning.

It means they aren't ready for a relationship; and either want to keep their options open, or worse, ARE keeping their options open. There's something inside of themselves that is broken. Maybe they're druggies, or had family problems, or anything else under the sun.

But the real point here - is that it is NOT your fault. Some people are just so broken, you can't do anything to help them. This girl has too much baggage for you, and even she knows it. I'm sorry, but this is headed for a break up.
>>
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GIRLS AND GUYS

So i went on two tinder dates with this QT. The dates went awesome and she seemed really into me. We last went out over a week ago and we agreed to meet up some time this week. I sent her a text on monday and she never replied to it. I find this very odd because i was for sure this girl was into me, all the signs were there...

Should i send her another text tonight? If so what should i say? I dont really know what to text her and i dont want to just send her a hey whats up.
>>
>>16501419
Halp!
>>
>>16501638
Yeah, don't get in a stable relationship if you just want to fuck around. That's the worst thing for a guy to tell you when he dumps you. "I need to see what's out there" "You're just my first relationship", etc. Getting smacked around is easier than that, from experience.

You don't need to tell anyone you're a virgin then. ons or fwb whores don't care about that. They're just looking to fill their daddy issue holes.
>>
What does it mean when I can get my female coworkers to bring me treats (of their own volition) and I make them laugh constantly all the time, but I've never had a gf or even hung out with a girl outside of school/work?
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>>16501687
Workhot.

It's a thing.

People flirt with their coworkers. It's just a thing
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>>16501696
Oh okay.

Normies are cruel
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>>16501687
ask them to go out?
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>>16501718
3 are married, 1 has a fiance
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>>16501708
Not really, use this to gain experience talking to women.
>>
>>16501723
they want to fuck you, just do it
>>
Alright, do men really give a shit about stretch marks? I was never big enough to permanently stretch out my skin, considering I lost the weight and it's fitting my muscles like it should. But I do have them. I've got some on my stomach. None that are pink/purple. All are almost completely white. But I'm thinking about going through laser surgery to remove them. Is it really that big of a deal?
>>
>>16501815
Not even a little.
My girlfriend has stretch marks from her pregnancy. I don't even notice them.
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>>16501667
Nope. Ball is in her court now that you sent the last text. Texting her isn't going to make her want you more, if anything it'll make you seem desperate and clingy. If she's interested, she'll respond.
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>>16501815
No. And a lot of times laser surgery doesn't work. Lots of women come in for that just to leave disappointed.
>>
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>>16501851
Too late i sent her a message.

She hasn't responded. Nothing i hate more then a women who isnt up front and just ignores you.

TO ALL WOMEN

Have the common courtesy to just turn us down ,don't ignore our texts/phone calls thinking you are being polite. Its rude and makes you look like a flaky whore.
>>
>>16501815
nope
>>
To Women, (I've already posted a thread about this):

I recently went on a couple of dates with a girl, we had great chemistry, talked frequently, and last time we hung out, we chilled at my place and made out (no sex). I wanted to hang out with her again, but she just stopped talking to me, deleted me off of facebook, and wouldn't answer my texts.

A similar thing happened with another girl I met the next month, we went on a couple of dates, and just recently hung out at my place, we made out and just chilled, when she left we had a very long and passionate kiss. I tried to hang out with her again, and now she's not responding either.

WTF is going on? Whenever a girl comes to my place, it seems to be the kiss of death for ever seeing them again, what gives? For the record, I tried to have sex with the first girl, but she was on the rag, and I didn't try to have sex with the second girl. And I know «Ask them» would be a good answer, but they're not talking to me, so any insight from you all on why this would happen would be great.
>>
>>16501802
Thanks ;_;
>>
>>16501815
>Alright, do men really give a shit about stretch marks?
Not really. I have some myself from some previous weight loss.
>>
>>16501879
You clearly have no idea how bad it is to politely reject a guy for a woman. Every time I've ever turned a guy down politely, he's gone full retard.

"Whatever fuck you bitch. You're ugly anyways lol"
"Fuck you stupid cunt, I'll fucking destroy you."
"*dicpick*"
"Can you explain to me literally all the reason why you won't date me?"
"hello"
"hello"
"please"

Now I just ice them out. The second I start getting stalkery and clingy as fuck messages, it's blocks-ville. Because I don't have the patience to deal with mangry kids

The sooner you accept silence as rejection, the better off you'll be. If you're going to be angry at someone, be angry at the rest of your gender/sex for ruining politeness in rejection from a woman.
>>
>>16501815
Nope
Srsly
>>
>>16501987
>If you're going to be angry at someone, be angry at the rest of your gender/sex for ruining politeness in rejection from a woman
kek you'd like that

nice try genfluid druid
>>
Women seem to say goodbye by giving out a hug it seems. I've always had hangups with this unless physical boundaries were pretty much gone with that person.

Is this particularly abnormal? I'm always fighting the urge to just give them a pat on the back instead of a hug back when this happens.
>>
>>16502018
Gee, yeah, it'd be nice to not get blamed for something that is literally the fault of men.
>>
>>16502025
yup, what you personally do is someone else's fault. just blame everything on men. blame men that you have thin skin.

i know i'm being trolled rn but still
>>
>>16502029
Funny, I thought I was the one being trolled here. I mean, you can go on defending the violent nature of men towards women when they're honest and I'll just continue being a victim of it.
>>
>>16502029
Are you serious? I don't hate men or anything, but you're a fool to think that a lot men don't react with aggression to women who turn them down.

It's easier to ignore a person instead of confronting then when you know that there is a decent chance they're going to react with vitriol.
>>
>>16502042
That would be you carrying your baggage with you into every interaction.

You are why trigger warnings exist.
>>
>>16502053
Upvoted.

Every woman I've dated long term has treated me like shit, therefore I need to take out my frustration by being cold to women I currently date.

Yes, that logic is literally as stupid as icing guys out because of what people did in the past.
>>
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>>16502042
>Are you serious? I don't hate men or anything, but you're a fool to think that a lot men don't react with aggression to women who turn them down.
If every single man, or even the majority of them react with anger when you shut them down you're either hanging around shitty crowds or you're not as nice about it as you imagine.

If the majority of the women I knew were negative influences, wouldn't it be reasonable to assume I was hanging around low quality women? Crazy concept.
>>
>>16502042

Being a guy, I've seen guys get pissed off at my girlfriend because she turns them down (also seen this happen to other female friends). I've also seen a guy get butt-hurt because she politely tried to refuse a drink saying she was waiting for someone (he started an idle conversation with her while she was waiting for me), then he ordered it for her anyway, so she bought him one to keep it even, and then he stormed off when I showed up (literally as she was about to introduce us, I saw his face, saw him vanish to the bathroom, then saw him leave the bar--it cracked me up because I know my gf goes out of her way to not send mixed signals).

People get butt hurt over stupid shit. All of you guys who are flaming Femanon saying that's not true, are probably exactly that do..
>>
To both I guess

When is a good/appropriate time to wink at a girl?
>>
>>16502196
Immediately after doing this. If timed just right, you'll get the exact reaction of the girl in this webm.
>>
>>16502209
>when Chad make a move
>>
>>16502196

When you're 50 years+, have a bit of grey in your hair, and have an air of class to you.
>>
If she can meet your eyes sometimes but can't or all immediately look away other times, what's up with that?
>>
>>16501202
Just blurt out whatever shit you can. If you can't do that, you just don't really get along. If they're interested in talking to you, they'll continue the convo as well. Otherwise, just give up. The are people you won't get along 1v1 even if you call each other friends. It's kind of a weird feeling.
>>
Non-ghetto black girl is into me, how do I not fuck it up? We've hung out like 3 times but I haven't done anything yet, and looking back I think she wanted to last time we were together.
>>
>>16502363
Lure her into a cage with chicken
>>
I'm good at dating IRL but I can't get this online thing down. So there is this girl that i'd like to talk to, but I can't really figure out how to craft a message that won't be douchy but won't be an essay.

Is there a simple formula here? Like

Greeting + Fact + Fact + Question + Goodbye or something?

I know it sounds silly, but I live in a small town so this is really my sole option for meeting people atm.
>>
>>16501851
Not that guy but as a women do you usually just let the man start all the conversations via text if you like him? Or do you initiate sometimes as well?
>>
>>16502368
What, do you think this is The Sims or a madlib or something?
>>
>>16502310
She either likes you or does that with everybody because she's insecure
>>
>>16502379

I dunno, but there has to be some method some online guru has figured out somewhere.

See, I can do a Bill Clinton impersonation that is spot on. All I have to do is pull that out and females get wet. But you can;t do that over a POF or OKCupid or Datehookup or the other ones I seen.

>I'm really that one dimensional
>>
>>16502385
Wait, what makes you say she likes him?
>>
>>16502394
Personal experience, when i am seriously attracted to guys i can't maintain eye contact for too long because it will make me kind of overflow with emotion and/or really horny to point that i struggle with self-control
>>
>>16501815
What about the opposite then?

Do women care if men have stretch marks?
>>
>>16502209
Damn, you girls like small teases like that?
>>
>>16502418
Of course. Every single one of us. No exceptions. Sometimes we act like we don't like it, but we're just playing hard-to-get.
>>
>>16502418
The guy was almost definitely someone she knew, not some random Chad, and it was just physical banter which she probably got him back for later. You can read anything into anything if you take out the context.

Also that could well have been a girl pulling her hair.
>>
>>16502376
I initiate too, if i really like the guy i like to keep it about 50/50. If it's a "not sure if want" situation, i initiate less. The only people i dont ever start talking to are the ones that i find legit boring/a waste of time and space/human garbage.

But most other women i know will only initiate conversation with guys they are really attracted to/have crushes on. I think that's stupid because other, maybe average looking guys deserve a chance to prove themselves too.
>>
>>16502411
Really, i just assumed they weren't interested

This chick'll look at me and when we make eye contact she'll immediately look away, is this still good?
>>
>>16502418
No. Never pull a girl's hair. In fact, you should never touch it unless you've been together for weeks.
>>
>>16502429
Nah it's a guy. Look at the hand, my bet is on big brother, father or a close relative.
>>
>>16502418
If we like the guy, then yes. If we don't, or worse, if it's someone we don't know, we will think he's a weirdo/creep.
>>
>>16502454
Some women have pretty masculine hands, and masculine watches are in and out of style, I wouldn't rule out the possibility. I do agree it was probably a guy though, and I know lots of dads do that sort of thing, mine does as well as a few uncles to my cousins.
>>
>>16502435
Yes, this is literally what I do.
>>
>>16502465
Thanks heaps :)

Will you also do that if you're not interested in someone or already seeing someone?
>>
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>>16501153

Girl here.
So what's the border of casual chatting/joking with your opposite gender friend with flirting?
I've been scared to talk to a classmate who just get a girlfriend. I don't want to cause the girlfriend jealous if I'm too closeto him or cause the boy think I'm broken-hearted to see him dating if I keep avoiding him (cuz that's not true at all).

I just want to talk and joke to him normally to avoid any misunderstanding or conflict. But I don't know the ethical border here...
>>
Is it normal for a younger sister to flirt with her brother? How much flirting is still normal? How far does that tend to go?
>>
>>16502524
Men are pigs. I am one, it's just true. It takes way less to turn a guy on than most women think. Even if you don't mean anything by it, there's a good chance he'll take something from it. I'd say just don't touch him more than necessary, and just talk to him when it seems natural.
>>
>>16502505
I would still do it if i was seeing someone else (can't really control who i'm attracted to), but not if i wasn't sexually or romantically interested. Then i just normally look at people.
If she generally has a shy/insecure personality then there's a high chance she does it with other people too, no attraction involved.
>>
>>16502524

It totally depends on the sense of humor on everyone involved.

My best friend is a girl and I'm also pretty close with my other best friend's (as of a few days ago :( ) ex-gf. With my best friend, we're super close, and joke around a bit, and even have a little bit of history (fwb's for a bit) but we've never had any real sexual tension between us (she's actually gay, the sex was mostly just drunk and bored).

With my other friend, we're hella flirty, make tons of innuendos, compliment each other all the time, but that's as far as it goes because we'd never touch each other (her ex is my best friend since childhood).

My girlfriend was slightly jealous of my female best friend given how I spoke of and her and our shared history, but then she met her, realized there was absolutely zero sexual or romantic tension between us.

My other friend, she admits when she first met her, she had a massive flash of jealousy seeing how we were together, and then chilled out and realized that the flirty banter was just that, flirty banter that was just a concequence of both of our senses of humor. In her words, "She see's you like someone she respects as admires, and you see her like the little sister you never had and adore"

She now loves both of them and talks to them almost as much as I do.

Maybe temper the flirting a tad 'til you get a read on his GF/she gets a read on you, but don't feel like you need to cold shoulder or change up too much. Honestly, if you're all mature enough to be adults, you're probably fine just continuing exactly as you are.
>>
>>16502539
She does seem a bit insecure at times, but i notice she notices me a bit and tries to find or share common stuff with me
>>
>>16502560
Her eyes flickered to my lips one time
>>
>>16502527
You're this >>16501310 ?

Um I don't have a brother but
>rests her head on my shoulder, insists on my massaging my neck after a long day, things like that
These are normal things I do with my father. I think little sisters doing that to her brother are normal too.
I dunno about the innuendo things though...
>>
To girls

How would you go about signalling to a male friend of yours that you aren't interested in him romantically, and that you are getting a bit creeped out because he wants to hang around with you too much?

I fear I'm that guy. The girl I'm talking about is very kind, so I'm afraid that she didn't mean it the way I did when I asked her out and she accepted.
>>
>>16502563
Yes, just never got an answer until now.
It's not like each single thing is making me think this is weird on it's own, it's just all of it coming together and me not knowing anything about what a normal sibling relationship looks like, so I feel a little uncomfortable with it.
Thanks though, I guess it's all good then and I am just feeling it's weird because I don't know what's normal and the change was so sudden.
>>
>>16501153
Women
1.Your country
2.What have your experiences been with foreign men?
>>
to girls

how direct/verbal is a guy supposed to be during sex when you are doing it for the first time? if he goes on and says out loud something like "okay bend over now and stick your ass up for me", stuff like that, does that too detached/direct/whatever?

way too often girls are too fucking lovey dovey on the first time even and I dont want to give away the "I just want to fuck" vibe
>>
>>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
>Yes. Stop overthinking this.
Lol what absolute Bullshit. What autistic social hermit wrote this shit? Not only do women notice, ask you and judge you for it but bouncers will often refuse entry to lone males. You guys should disregard this retard's advice.
>>
>>16502589

i'm a dude, but I always found actions speak louder than words. Just a gentle/insistent/forceful nudge (depending on what kind of sex your having) to one side of a girls hips/thigh can sometimes be enough to let her know what you want.
>>
To women:
If you were dating/hanging out with a guy you like, and he wouldn't make advances to kiss you or get in your pants, what would you do?
Slowly cut contact, make advances yourself, nothing at all?
>>
>>16502595

1.) If you're going to go to a club by yourself, be hotter.
2.) Bounces don't usually give a shit at bars

3.) If you're going to go to a bar/club yourself specifically to pick up chick, you need to have enough game that you're not forced to go alone in the first place. So that judgement shit is moot.

4.) Not everyone goes to bars/clubs to pick up chicks.
>>
>>16502600
This, and if she doesn't react to it, ask.
>>
>>16502209
>>16502418
>>16502425
>>16502429
>>16502451
>>16502462
>tease a girl a little
>"Such a teaser!"
>Tease girl online
>instant rape, because magic
>>
>>16502605
If it's clear that it's a date and he doesn't seem like an insecure type, cut off contact because he clearly isn't interested.
If it's clear that it's a date and he seems insecure or even better, if he has opened up about being insecure, i make the first step.
If we're "hanging out" then i assume that there is no romance or sexual attraction involved and i don't do anything.
>>
Posted a more detailed thread ( >>16502610 ) but might as well ask here a general questions:

Girls (specially working ones): What would it take for a younger guy (still studying) to be a romantic/sexual interest to you? (Apart from being really hot, which is very far from what I am)
>>
>>16502560
Look out for other signs of attraction, like if she texts first a lot and also check how she looks at other people.
>>
>>16502566
Does she even know you like her? Like, have you been flirty or touchy? If not, she probably doesn't know, so there's no reason she would tell you anything.
>>
>>16502623
>doesn't seem like an insecure type
Care to give an example about not to seem insecure?
If you can tell that he enjoys your company and you're both having fun, but he holds back to not be too pushy or because he's too shy, would you make a move then?
>>
>>16502637
Is that honestly the only way women can know you are interested? I give her compliments, pay for both of us at the cafe, try to hold eye contact with her. Do I honestly need to just touch her alot to make her understand?

How much have I fucked up? Is it beyond saving?
>>
>>16502631
There's been huge smiles from her directed at me, she's gotten a bit pissed when I've paid more attention to other chicks and made them happy, she's licked her lips looking at me, she liked looking at my chest for some reason
>>
>>16502631
Oh, and the sharing stuff from her to make it seem like we have stuff in common is good?

One time, we were talking and another dude comes into the room, she didn't even look at him (ignored him) but kept talking to me
>>
>>16502647
>>16502659
ask her out already
>>
To guys.

How would you feel if your wife wants to be a housewife and not work? Would it feel like she's burdening you by not earning money?

I want to be one after I marry my boyfriend, because I don't like going outside and working with people. I hate people IRL except my boyfriend. Also I don't want my kids to have mommy issues due to lack of attention. I want to dote on them.
>>
>>16502668
If I was able to support your choice (financially I mean), then I'm totally fine with that.
>>
>>16502668
I personally would prefer that myself, provided I am making enough money to be the sole provider. Sadly that isn't always possible for all couples nowadays.
But I do prefer traditional gender roles and am pretty conservative anyway, so I would like a girl with the same views and values. Family always comes first for me and so it should for her.
I also grew up in a household with traditional gender roles.
>>
>>16501153
I've been talking to a girl the past couple of days and one night she suddenly didn't reply to a message.

I followed her up the next day saying "hey did you listen to that song I linked you?"

She never replied to that either. She's been online on Facebook several times, but it never said that she had "seen" the message.

She seemed incredibly happy to talk at the time, but she suddenly stopped. I decided to not message her because I'd come off like a beta creep.

Is she ignoring me?
>>
>>16502607
None of this contradicts anything I said. OP is still a retard.
>>
>>16502660
Don't girls do this sort of stuff normally with no meaning attached?
>>
>>16502678
Girls are Fickle as fuck and the most important thing to note is that it usually has nothing to do with what you've done. They can be madly in love with you one day and gave zero interest in you the next. Don't blame yourself and move on.
>>
>>16502643
For example, i've been seeing this guy who seemed really confident, like the average chad/alpha i guess, but he never made a move. After a few dates i asked him why and he said it was because he was insecure/didnt know if i liked him back. I said i like him back and on the next date he made a move. In the beginning i just assumed he doesn't like me, because i never would have thought that he didn't have the balls to make the first move.

If a guy seems insecure i generally try to find out why and eventually make the first move. Most girls won't really do that tho because they're not into insecure guys.

For me, as a person who seperates sex from feelings, there is literally no reason for "taking it slow" but if you want a serious relationship i think it's ok.
>>
>>16502682
idfk just ask her out instead of forming conspiracy theories about her actions
>>
>>16502683
Yeah, it's strange. We spoke for hours on end that night. We have incredibly common interests, and I could definitely have seen it going somewhere, but out of the blue after linking the song she said "sure" (to listening to it) and she never got back to me. That was about three days ago.

The worst part is that I work with her. I don't think it will be necessarily awkward, but I will be thinking about it. I'm wondering if I should just not even mention it to her at work.
>>
>>16502675
>>16502677
thanks for advice
>>
>>16502688
If a girl acts like normally, what's the point in asking her out?
Unless that guy has enough hints to work with
>>
>>16502678
Anyone got any other answers/advice/ideas/theories?
>>
>>16502644
No, you don't just "touch her a lot" (sounds autistic desu senpai), you have to be a little playful and flirty in the way you talk and touch her now and then. Instead of a regular "friendship hug", make little caressing motions with your hand or whatever. (don't do this if you haven't hugged yet in a friendly way)
They way you treat her just sounds like normal friendship to me.
>>
>>16502678
>>16502690
People don't answer for a lot of reasons. If she's a normie, maybe she judged you for your music taste.
Just don't mention any more songs unless she does.
Also, don't ask about her ignoring you and stick to mainly communicating casually irl.
>>
>>16502700
Most girls would act like this if they liked a guy, there are enough hints. Ask her out.
>>
>mailed a girl when I was drunk
>woke up, apologised
>"nah it's okay, talk to me more"
>"here's my number"
>aww yeah
>try texting her a few times throughout the week
>no reply

What the fuck man?
>>
>>16501987
I figured this out eventually, femanon.

I fell hard for a girl once and it had been years since I found someone interesting. She was working for my old boss at an internship so I knew she was smart, polite, kind, etc. She was super hot too, DIDN'T HELP THE CAUSE.

She figured out through talking to me I was hot for her and ignored me to oblivion. In retrospect, I was smitten. oh well.
>>
>>16502209

I remember in chemistry class we were in groups once and were working with different colored flames. I was walking sideways in between people and accidentally lost my footing. Next thing I know I was slipping backwards and was terrified of causing a fire or something. So I use the girl in front of me to keep myself from falling over. I mean, I thrust hard on her. Really hard.

She turned around, and as she turned around I realized she was pretty cute. She was like 5'5" so she was a little thing to me. She looked mad and I thought I was gonna get slapped. Instead, she paused, stared me down and her face completely changed to pic related.

Years later we ended up working together at an ice cream store I found out she had a thing for me. She subtly joked about our previous encounter and asked if I wanted her. I knew she was a huge slut at that point though and didn't bite.
>>
>>16502411

Is that you, Maggie? I know a girl like this. Completely loses her train of thought around me. She's my little sisters best friend.
>>
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Friends girl friend is not loyal should I tell him?
>Go out for drinks and I meet her
>She is staring at me the whole time
>She presses her breasts against on the train when I move away from her she puts her arm on my shoulder and starts to touch my facial hair and calls me handsome(my boy is less then a foot away) I just look at him with a "wtf is this shit?" look on my face when she does it.
>Get to his place she I sit on his bed and she moves to sit next to me
>She puts a blanket over her self and beings to get closer to me at one point just facing towards me staring at me when she thinks I'm not looking
>I just assume she is drunk and overtly friendly but under the blanket she starts to rub her feet against me and rest her hand on my leg
>If I lean back a bit she adjusts her weight so she is leaning on me
>If I lay back she slaps my stomach
>My friend is still in the room but she is ignoring him at this point
>Starts to say romantic shit as we are talking like "I'm so glad I got to meet you" while touching my face more
>Once my friend leaves the room it gets more intense
>While I lay back she leans on top of me touching my chest her mouth so close to mine I can smell her chap stick and she whispers something to me she does this 3 times and once she figures out I'm not kissing her puts her head on my lap.
>When I sit up she puts her arm around me
>My friend comes back at this point and slams the door behind him and puts his drink down unusually hard
>She immediately jumps away from me and hides in the blankets like she knows she did something wrong.
>He looks at me and tells me its getting late (A cue for me to leave)
It seems like she only went out with him for the free room she is gone now but he really seemed to like her I showed her around the city yesterday and nothing happened (Save for her grabbing my arm and calling me handsome a few times) but the guy blew up my phone so I feel like he really likes her and may still try to talk to her LD.
>>
>>16501168
I'm a girl, and I hate it when guys are so obviously onto you. The 'I find it endearing' makes it look like your some kind of creep. Try to play it cool.
>>
>>16501193
I think she doesn't want you to go to her thanksgiving, maybe she's embarassed of her parents and/or relatives? Or she has some serious issues like depression and lack of self worth..
>>
>>16501202
Get a life, and then you'll have something to talk about. Go travelling, get a hobby or try out new things.
>>
>>16502861
Alright not the same guy but there's this girl I like and I've made it kind of obvious that I did. But she called me weird for it. I've dated more attractive girls before her and I'm not sure what the standard is anymore.
>Act nice never tell her you like her
>Beta
>Act nice call her cute
>Creepy
>Hit on other girls and ignore her then hit on her last second
>Super hot
What the actual fuck? I have seriously never gotten a girl I aimed for it's always the girl I ignore. But I'm not a creep or some guy who just fucks and leaves I'm just an honest good guy who can't read minds. It's women get scared by an honest approach never have I gotten a compliment and found the person giving me the compliment "creepy" why do girls do this?
>>
>>16501310
I feel like she watches too much anime/hentai that involve 'brother/sister relationships'.
>>
>>16502533
>>16502557
Thanks! I can see both work on different types and situations.

In here it seems my other friends are actually pretty chill even around guys who's already get a date so I think the latter is more suitable in my place. Thanks for ur advices, guys!
>>
>>16501328
Flirty eyecontact and touching! But not too much because that could be percieved as creepy.
>>
>>16501371
Just don't say it.
>>
>>16501168
Another thing I see wrong with it, which I told you in the last thread already:
She basically asked you whether you are serious about your relationships or into hook ups as well. She doesn't want anyone who is into hook ups. You kinda dodged that question and tried to be funny while this was serious and important to her.
Also what the other ones said. It's really no wonder she dropped that conversation like a hot potato.

>>16502849
Of course you tell him, unless you think he won't believe you and you trying to tell him will blow up in your face.
Seems like he already has a clue though.
However, you also acted pretty shitty, if you knew there was something going on between them. Are you unable to draw a line, say no, push someone away? Granted, you didn't do anything to encourage her (from what you wrote), but you didn't exactly do anything to make it stop either.

>>16502882
I don't watch that, so I wouldn't know. Any reason why you think so?
I highly, highly doubt she hopes there will be something happening between us. That only really happens in some sort of fiction after all.
But she is into anime, so I wouldn't rule her watching that stuff out.
>>
>>16501432
I haven't heard of 'practice kissing' but I sometimes get drunk and kiss a bunch of girls.
>>
>>16501667
I think she's just busy. Don't send another text, that's thirsty af
>>
>>16502896
It was kinda shitty of me yea but to be fair he was kinda being a dick before this. Bragging about how hot she was and saying "U mad bro?" because he knows I have not been with a girl for like 4 months. So to extent I was glad to flip it on him but now I would feel really bad if he ended up with a girl like that. Because she knows I am his long time friend and of all the people to hit on I am literally the worst I should be SUPER off limits. So if she is willing to do that with me I don't think she is very trust worthy long term.
>>
>>16501905
I think that you should hold back on kissing, and taking her back to your place... We like to think about what might happen at the next date inbetween dates. Babysteps, my friend.
>>
>>16502907
She isn't very trust worthy, period.
I can understand you enjoying this payback, but sometimes you have to be the bigger man. You could have even let her do that a little to get your payback on him and then push her away, but you never drew the line. Instead you let it continue until your friend was really pissed and pretty much threw you out.
Just take it as a lesson learned for next time.
>>
So when is it okay to text crush/friend, for instance today is a holiday would it be okay or weird for me to text them something simple.
Im really bad at this texting thing
>>
>>16502925
Yea you are right it was just a weird experience for me too. I'm just worried if I tell him he will just get angry at me. Maybe I will not tell him about the part where she almost kissed me or that she was feeling me up under the blanket. Or that she called me handsome and took a bunch of pis of me. Fuck that shit sounds worse typing it out then when it happened.
>>
>>16502930
You're overthinking it. Just don't spam them with texts or get upset if they don't respond.
>>
>>16502566
When a guy starts talking to me too much, and he wants to meet up all the time, my response would be to try to avoid it while being polite (only if the guy is polite, if he's a dick I'll straight up tell him I'm not interested) but I'll make excuses and stuff..
>>
>>16502579
1. Netherlands
2. They're clingy and trying to meet up all the time. Some english men, an italian man and a french man.
>>
To both: is it just me or has dating become more difficult?
>>
>>16502937
Of course it does, because that's basically condensing what happened over a few hours into a few sentences. But it also helps you put it into perspective.
I can see how him getting angry is a possibility. I'd start of with an apology, tell him it was kinda shitty and you should have drawn the line. Don't try to explain or justify, just apologise. Then tell him what went on and point out you figured he should know, you are just trying to look out for him and want to make things right for not having made her stop.
He should understand that and that's how I would handle this.
Hope this works out for you.

>>16502940
Making excuses is not trying to be polite, you are just trying to avoid conflict. Be honest. It may seem harsher at first, but it's better for the guy and you don't string him along.
Being polite is all fine and dandy, but you shouldn't make some shit up for it or lie to him. Sugar coating things doesn't really help anyone but you feeling better because you were "nice" to him.
>>
>>16502880
Honestly, being a girl, I wondered myself what really is my problem. I noticed I want okay or hot looking guys that don't seem interested in me, but sometimes slip a sneaky hint in the conversation. Girls want what they can't have. Guess you can say the same for guys. ("She's a slut I can get her but i don't want to")
>>
>>16502896
(Anime anon) All of the things you mentioned happen in those kind of incest-y anime and hentai. Try watching Kiss x Sis.
>>
>>16502775
maybe she regretted it.

>>16502847
no, sorry.

>>16502880
maybe the way you made the compliment sounded dishonest and that makes it creepy. don't say cheesy shit like "i love ur eyes" or compliments that are only based on appearance, especially if she already knows she's hot.

>>16502943
more difficult since when?
it's always been difficult to me, but there are harder things in life.
>>
For Girls
Met a girl on tinder and started talking exchanged numbers. After about a week she asks me out for coffee. So a date right? Any general tips for a date at a coffee shop?
>>
>>16502915
But that sounds like a good way to get friend zoned.
>>
>>16502963
Thanks, I guess I'll try to see what's up with that and find out whether she is watching that kind of stuff. I am just not really into anime anymore (guess that stopped at 20).
Don't know what to do if that is what she is doing. Sounds like some kind of weird and unsettling fantasy, nothing more than that though, if she is getting that idea from anime.
>>
>>16502960
Alright what is a "hint " then? I'd like to practice for next time.
I'm sorry if that sounds like a shitty thing to say but as a guy who is ok looking to slightly cute there are like 10 other guys like me so any insight helps.
>>
>>16502970
No I just said she had a really nice personality and good energy. Which is true she is always really happy and full of energy and kind to everyone. It was a really honest compliment and I kinda said it in passing conversation.
>>
How would the females of /adv/ react if a mutual friend commented on how you and a guy friend would make a good couple?
>>
>>16502992
Hmmm... A little hint like looking into her eyes a little longer than usual or looking at her up and down like you're checking her out.
>>
>>16502943
It has I went to another country recently and ill had to do was call a girl cute and she was mine. A friend came over from a different place altogether and she was all over me. Mean while I gotta play this dumb as fuck game with American women who will call me a creep if I were to do the same shit. Fuck man look how often "creepy" is used on this thread.
>>
>>16502971
Make it short and sweet. Don't drag it out by taking her to other places. Also; try to talk about her. Girls love taking about themselves.
>>
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>>16503008
REEEEEEEE
DON'T DO IT YOU BASTARD FUCKING SABOTAGED ME LAST TIME JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS REEEEE!!!!!!!!
>>
>>16502980
You need to flirt, but not move too fast. Yeah, you need to make a romantic impression, but the fantasy is over when it all happens so quickly...
>>
>>16503008
If I like him I'd be like "Really?" and if I was unsure I would be turned off. It's like when someone offers you something and you say no, but then they offer it again and again and you start getting turned off from it.
>>
>>16503026
I'll keep that in mind, thanks.

I know each case is different, but what timeline would you say you're comfortable with?
>>
>>16503016
>This answer
So look at her while I'm talking? Holy shit someone fucking kill me. I don't think you know what you want because that sounds like a one way ticket to never getting a girl.
>>
>>16503031
When it feels right I guess, but if I would say number of dates... It'll probably be around 4 dates. You can invite her over to watch a movie, but there doesn't have to be kissing. And when she realizes the romantic and sexual tension is able to be cut with a knife... Oh man you'll have her texting you constantly. In theory.
>>
>>16503030
She reacted by looking at me and smiling, then i said we just like being around each other and she agreed
>>
>>16503034
Fuckin' hell sounds like you've never experienced any kind of tension before. It's not just "looking", it's lingering and looking into her eyes longer than you usually would... It always makes my heart skip a beat. Girls love being subtly checked out.
>>
>>16502971
you sound really nerdy so hide your power level, talk about normie stuff. just ask her questions about her interests and if she likes talking about a topic continue asking her related stuff and state your opinion about the things that she says. if you have different opinions or interests, be open-minded and understanding.

>>16502997
that does sound sincere to be honest, i guess she's just not into you.

>>16503008
if i liked him, i'd be excited and ask them if they think he likes me. if the guy in question was in the same room i'd probably get nervous and be like "HAHAHA NOOO YOU SILLY FRIEND WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THAT IS A RIDICULOUS IDEA!!! XDDD"
if i didn't like him that way, i'd just say that i don't like him that way.
>>
>>16503039
Sounds like a good reply! :D
>>
>>16503034
btw girls are better at picking up hints than guys are.
>>
>>16503042
The issue being if that works for you it's fine but for other girls it will get me called creepy. It's like a mine field you understand? But alright I'll try it on a girl I don't really care for and see how it goes.
>>
In the next few hours I will leave my house, go to the driving school and try to make eye-contact (followed by small-talk) with a girl I saw there some days ago.
But as the event comes closer, I get more anxious about it.
There are going to be plenty of people, and chances are, she will be with some acquaintances of her. I am afraid I will go there and just sit near her not saying a single word, as it was the last time. People who sit around also make me uncomfortable.
So, I know what to do, I even got some general feeling of how I would approach, the only issue is that I might not have the courage in the situation. If I go there today, sit right next to her, and don't make any conversation, it's going to be pretty much over. On the other hand, I know I should approach, if I don't, I will regret it, but if I do and get rejection, it's going to be super awkward and weird.
So any advice on how not to stop in the last moment before talking to her?
>>
>>16502943
What is this, a stand up act?
>>
>>16503050
if a girl doesn't like you, you WILL get called creepy no matter what. creeped out and uncomfortable is just the way we feel when guys that we don't like approach us. while i do think that openly calling a guy creepy for that reason is wrong and hurtful doesn't make me feel less creeped out on the inside.

it's just like girls getting called needy or clingy when they show affection and you don't like them back. it's just a thing you percieve people as.
>>
>>16503065
Holy shit when did this happen to society?
This is why i fucking hate how girls call the most common shit "creepy" this guy is nervous about "making eye contact and small talk" What the actual fuck?
Someone release me from this world this has gone too far.
>>
>meet girl online
>she seems quite taken with me
>ask her out
>she seems very willing
>this is in France
>she gets scared by all the terrorist crap
>says she is afraid of a public place
>tell her I want to take her to a restaurant that is very small and not that public but if she doesn't want it's ok, she can take her time
>she says she will think about it but she certainly wants to meet me
>shit is getting calmer now
>I'm always the first one to message, except one day where I had work, she just sent me a 'good luck at work" without me messaging
>starting to feel like it's not happening

If it was any other excuse not to meet I'd be 200% sure she was just leading me on. But her excuse is pretty damn good, I can sympathize with a woman being afraid of public places here right now.

So how can I tell if it's happening? If I don't message her today and she does, will that be a good sign? I hate playing crappy games like this, but I can't seem but shake off the feeling I am pestering her every time we talk. I have messaged her almost every day and it also seems to me like she might feel I'm pushing her to meet me.

So yeh females, how would you act in a chat if you were leading someone on? Would her excuse stop you?

Should I message her or?
>>
>>16503072
You are right, I am being anxious as fuck.
>>
>>16503070
So basically women don't know what they want and you are gross if you don't get em hot at first sight? Holy shit taking advice from women is the worst. The only thing that makes sense is to try over and over until one likes you. To make it clear the ones that use "showing affection" like clinging to my arm is not the same thing as walking up and talking to you. Alright you gals pretty much cleared it up for me women have no idea what they want and only respond to looks or a random turn on you had no idea they had.
>>
>>16503080
It's American culture man calm the fuck down and realize one girl is not worth much there are so many in this world. Even if you get rejected it won't mean shit to the other billion or so.
>>
>Saturday
>Talk to guy for 30 minutes
>Get number
>Cool
>Text him a few times
>Barely any responses
>Stop texting him

Why did he give me his number? I mean, he could have said "Add me on Facebook" and never go on.
>>
>>16503107

Maybe he has other things to do
>>
>>16503108
That's what I assumed, but yesterday he texted me a text that wasn't meant for me, obviously. So I think he is ignoring me? It's just kind of a bummer - I thought we could be friends.
>>
>>16503113

>I thought we could be friends

You can't force someone to be your friend. It has to be a double effort.
>>
>>16503113
>I thought we could be friends.

If a dude gave you his number wasnt he expecting the possibility of more?

If I gave a chick my number thinking of maybe dating her and it turned out she wanted to be just friends I would probably ignore her.
>>
>>16503107
Maybe he just lost interest? Something you did, something you said, different intentions?
Look at how many guys are complaining about the same damn thing happening to them on here.
People nowadays are just cowards and shy away from the slightest hint of a confrontation. It's easy to just ignore someone you don't have to see, certainly easier than being a decent human being and telling them the truth.
It's just shitty behaviour and it shouldn't be socially acceptable, as in at all. It's the same damn thing as simply not showing up to an appointment/date/whatever.
Only good thing about this is I know I don't want to deal with that kind of person anyway, so nothing I actually lost.
>>
>>16503083
>why aren't girls hivemind and why isn't there a simple cheatcode to unlock all of them
>>
On a scale of 1 to /r9k/ how creepy would it be if I asked one of my female friends to hold me while I cried and just say something like "it's going to be okay" ?

life is becoming a very heavy burden and I feel myself starting to crack beneath it and I can't really think of anything that would help me hold it together than just letting go in front of someone without needing to worry about being judged as a failure
>>
>>16503083
>So basically women don't know what they want

Neither do men, for the most part.

>The only thing that makes sense is to try over and over until one likes you

Yes this concept applies for everything else in life. If you get turned down for one job, you go and apply somewhere else and so on and so forth. You don't get butthurt and say, "ALL JOBS SUCK!!!!"
>>
>Men

Have you ever felt depressed during a major life change? Currently going through it and just wondering how can I help myself through this confusing time. Thanks.
>>
>>16503118
You have a point. I thought the double effort was giving me his number.
>>16503120
I never explicitly told him I wanted to be friends. I simply asked him about his day and tried to make small talk, that would hopefully lead to hanging out or getting invited to a party.
>>16503126
I guess so. You have a good point anon. If someone doesn't want to talk to me and can't just tell me that, I'm glad we aren't going to be friends. There are other people who would be happy to be my friend and I have current friends already.
>>
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This is more like asking for an opinion because i'm not really sure what's the question, if there's even one. Thing is, even if my best friend is a girl, i still feel like i can't talk about some things with her, like this:

>since i was a little shit, i kinda learned that getting things the easy way was almost always the wrong to do so
>mainly due to feeling like you don't deserve that or that you'll miss on experiences and such
>and so, during my life, i rejected(indirectly at least, by not making a move) 3 girls that liked me because i either thought they weren't pretty to me or something like that
[spoiler]>i also have a thing against fat people, because there's plenty on my family, and so i have a hate complex against them, though i still talk to them if they're nice people[/spoiler]
>learned the hard way that i should look for things in common in a girl i want, not just focusing on the looks

>thanks to the previous statements, i'm now about to reach 21, and i'm still a virgin who's never had a gf
>due to making it this far without a partner, my conviction's starting to falter and i don't know if i should make a move on a girl i met around 5 years ago, whom i think is pretty cute and shares some of my common hobbies; and she also seems to like me, since she's always asking if we can meet some day or texting me really late in the night
>the thing is, she's [spoiler]chubby, bordering on fatty[/spoiler]
>thus, it goes against my convictions

I've been told that i'm a pretty good-looking guy quite a number of times, so thinking that i'm pretending to ask for something i don't deserve is out of the question.

I honestly don't know what to do.

On one side, i think that if i keep waiting, eventually i'll be able to get someone whom i actually like and don't have serious complaints.

On the other, i know that everyone must start somewhere, and that i can't ask for something that good on the first one.

Fuck.
>>
>>16503083
man i seriously hope this is bait.
some girls will like you, and they will enjoy being checked out, being touched and getting compliments by you. some will not. that's when you back off, deal with it and meet other people.
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>>16503149
>those failed spoilers

Can't get the habit off, i guess.
>>
>>16503146
Didn't think that part would be helpful at all, I was just kinda annoyed by that sort of people. Glad it does though.

>>16503149
>i can't ask for something that good on the first one
If you are already thinking she isn't "that good", that you are out of her league and "have serious complaints" about her, you don't deserve her.
Okay, she weighs more than she should and it is a legitimate deal breaker. But she is nice, shares your interests and you called her "cute" (despite her weight and your issues with it).
Kinda sounds like a good person that just needs to diet and exercise a bit.
You just came across pretty douchey in your post, at least in my eyes. I doubt she'd still be interested if she knew you thought that way.
>>
>>16503132
please respond before I send this text
>>
If you ever approached a girl in high school, and got rejected, how did it go after?
>>
>>16503182
It's gonna be very fucking weird.
If you want her to do this, don't say it in advance obviously, just start crying.
But beware, the moment you do this, you automatically become another lady-friend to her, just with a penis.
>>
>>16503132
Don't phrase it that way. Just say you've been struggling lately and could really use a friend to talk to. Let it go naturally from there. Seems like you're trying to set up an emotional moment rather than just having one.
>>
>>16503176
>If you are already thinking she isn't "that good", that you are out of her league and "have serious complaints" about her
Oh, i didn't mean any of that.

>Kinda sounds like a good person that just needs to diet and exercise a bit.
Exactly.

It's more of a personal matter honestly, i always considered that keeping your word was one of the most important things to do in life, and going with her will make people think that i have no actual convictions and just adapt to the situation(but hey, maybe they'll be happy for me nonetheless that i finally got a gf); and in my own eyes, it would seem like i'm giving in to desperation due to loneliness.
>>
>>16503132
>>16503182
what the fuck? dont ask her to hold you to cry, just ask her to hang out or something so you can unwind

you can't just ask someone to meet you so you they can hold you while you cry. that is extremely weird to even have the intention to meet for that. Just hang out with her, every friend you can have and unwind, chill. If you end up crying and they're friends you don't have to ask them to hold you, they'll just do it

Yet again don't just go out and force yourself to cry in front of them.
>>
Men, why do you think that homemakers and housewives get so little respect these days? Do you think that it is a better idea that all, or at least most, women return home?
>>
Went on a date with this girl a few weeks ago, tried to set something up this past weekend. She said she had to do xxxxx and i said alright maybe this next week then. Monday I sent hey how did xxxx go? No reply or anything, should I sent one today or how should I go about this? (I assumed she was busy but it's been like a wk)
>>
>>16503189
It's still coming across like you think less of her/are better than her because you use words like "desperation" and pretty much said you would only date her because of feeling lonely.
Is it really desperate to be with someone genuinely nice, cute and sharing some hobbies/interests of yours? Would you rather be with some beautiful but bitchy girl you have nothing in common with? Which guy would you have more respect for?
Keeping your word is important, but did you ever give anyone your word you would never date anyone overweight? I doubt it and even if you did, it's not really one of those instances where you have to absolutely stick to something you said quite a while ago.
I could understand people not understanding you if you are constantly talking how bad fat people are, how you want nothing to do with them and then dating someone overweight. But if you were doing that, I doubt you two would be friends to begin with.
It's really up to you, but I really hope you won't date her for the wrong reasons or make a huge deal out of her weight.
Nothing against you and I don't want to attack you, I am just trying to tell you how you come across. I don't know you though, so it might very well be just a poor choice of words, you did say it wasn't meant that way after all.
>>
>>16503075
Bump, I know it's long but still. Might make a separate thread I guess...
>>
I have a very brilliant idea.
So I want to show a girl a trailer of my favorite tv show and ask what she thinks about it.
The cool thing is, the promo is exactly about the situation where me and her will be when I show it to her, it's also romantic and funny, so she obviously will get the reference.
Do you think it's gonna work or should I just do a plain usual talking like "Hi! I noticed that..."?
>>
>>16503189
>i always considered that keeping your word was one of the most important things to do in life
Not so much when it's just keeping your word to your kid-self while trying to deal with the adult world. What is the honor anyway in claiming to never date a chubby/fat person because you have a hate complex against them? What really makes that a strong thing to stick to?
Seems like it's just holding you back. It doesn't seem like you should go out with her, but not because of your reasoning.

Also happy turkeyday captchas? Interesting.
>>
>>16503207
Studies show people, especially women, are happier in traditional gender roles. Now this is just an average and there are definitely women out there this does not apply to, but most women returning to being a housewife? Sounds like a good idea to me.
And if you follow the discussions, it's mostly women criticising women for deciding to stay at home. I've heard it's anti-feminist, backwards and the like, but all from women.
I advocate giving everyone a free choice and not criticising said choice, no matter the outcome. Whether you want a relationship with traditional gender roles is a whole different story though.

>>16503226
It's really not an easy call. She might be legitimately scared of going out, while others have no problem with it whatsoever.
I'd personally see if she initiates conversation as well. If she is really interested, even just in a friendship, she will contact you, unless she is really, really shy and awkward or such.
I don't try to pursue relationships seeming too one sided to me. If you were wrong and it's not (as) one sided, she will talk to you again, and if not, you didn't really lose much.
>>
>>16501153
Hey girls.There is this girl that i didn't really like but she showed some interest in me so i thought meh why not.As we used to speak i noticed that she at times was wery warm towards me and at other times was like she didn't even know me.We,my best friend an her best girlfriend used to go out together and thats where i got to really know her.We got really close and had lots of fun.She also threw lots of hints at me like and i caught her miring many times.The other day when i asked her to go out just the two of us she said "no we should go out the four of us.We have nothing to do on our own".What is the situation here because i'm truly confused?
>>
>>16503245
Seems like you're supporting my idea of "don't initiate convo, see if she does".

I guess that's the best I can do.
>>
>>16503213
While i do come as a judgemental bastard a lot of times to my friends(most of the time they laugh, but maybe that's because they're my friends and i'm not talking about them), i always try to be nice to everyone and not an asshole.

That had nothing to do with the current case apparently, but maybe i just wanted to clear out that i try to not be as terrible a person as i might look now.

Either way, i'm one of those who overthinks a lot of shit, and in this case, i have nothing against her, she's a great person; my problem stems from what she represents though, hence the desperation and going against my word part.

>>16503242
>What is the honor anyway in claiming to never date a chubby/fat person because you have a hate complex against them? What really makes that a strong thing to stick to?
Rather than the statement itself, maybe i just fear that going against that last thing will make me start to take myself less seriously than i do now.

>Seems like it's just holding you back.
Yep, been told that already.

>It doesn't seem like you should go out with her, but not because of your reasoning.
Au contraire, my reasoning tells me that i shouldn't go with her if i'm doing it for the wrong reasons.

Maybe it's just my instinct kicking in or something.
>>
>>16503249
>no we should go out the four of us.We have nothing to do on our own
That seems pretty clear. She's not interested and sees no reason for you to hang out alone together.
>>
>>16503260
I get it but then why the fuck would she flirt so openly with me?
>>
>>16503251
She will never initiate, you know that right?
>>
>>16503264
I'm afraid of that, but I think more on the grounds of the fact that she's used to me initiating so she'll think I'm busy or whatever if I'm not.

But why do you think so?
>>
>>16503263
What did she do that was openly flirting? Maybe she changed her mind. Maybe she was being friendly. Maybe she's just flirty with people. Flirting isn't actually an agreement to a deeper relationship.
>>
>>16503245
>Whether you want a relationship with traditional gender roles is a whole different story though.

You see, deep down, I do. It is really surprising to myself to say this, since I always felt like a feminist since the age of 17-18. I thought I could be happy to chase after jobs and careers but ever since I've met my current partner and he takes care of me like a so called "real man" should (pampering me, buying things, working hard to provide for us both, etc), I feel so scared of going back to the job world again.

It's not so much that I am lazy or anything, I HAVE worked jobs before, I have worked very hard before while working, but suddenly it has become the worst thing ever. I like staying at home. I like cooking for us, cleaning the home, and doing errands for him. Now that I have to look for a job to supplement our income before our wedding, I just feel so conflicted. He has told me before that, if for whatever reason one day I am extremely unhappy with me working, I can be at home. It's just so hard to admit it to him, though.

Am I selfish?
>>
>>16503257
Exactly why I included the part of you simply coming across that way. Don't really know shit about you after all, so I am definitely not judging.
I come across as cold and sometimes like an asshole myself, despite this not being my intention at all, so I know where you are coming from.

Just realise she doesn't really represent anything or anyone but herself.
I don't think it's a good idea to judge someone by their weight only. Yes, weight is an indicator of character traits, but it doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to be lazy or any other reason why you may legitimately dislike someone overweight. You know her and you like her, so it doesn't really sound like she is someone those traits to be disliked really apply to.
Maybe she is just eating a little too much, always drinking soda and not exercising properly?
If you can't take yourself seriously because you date someone overweight while saying you dislike fat people, you have some other issues to fix first though.

Btw., obesity would be a deal breaker for me as well, I understand that, but I have no problem with "chubby", as long as it's legitimately chubby and not "I am fat, but call it chubby, because it sounds cuter".
>>
>>16503183
Shoot the school.
>>
>>16503279
Yeah, you're right, i should give it more thought before really deciding if i want to go through with this or not.

Thanks anyway, really needed this kind of talk.
>>
>>16503275
It's not really selfish. After all you don't want to stay at home to sit on the couch to watch TV all day. You can contribute just as much as he is while staying at home. You can really take a load of his shoulders, so he doesn't have to worry about things at home going smoothly too.
Now I am really conservative, strictly Catholic and strongly prefer a relationship with traditional gender roles myself. My mom stayed at home to care for 4 kids, two dogs and a 400 sqm house, having dinner on the table when my dad came home. I have a ton of respect for her and now that all of her kids are grown ups and the dogs are gone, she started working a little again because she has the time and wants to contribute whatever she can. She is a great person and my parents' relationship was based on mutual respect.

As I said, most people are actually happier in relationships with traditional gender roles, so it's not all too surprising you like it as well and certainly nothing to be ashamed of, feel guilty over or feel like you are "betraying the cause" (heard that before).
It's also not a surprise you like feeling protected, safe and secure. Who doesn't? Even I do, but I feel that way knowing I have someone to come home to, someone supporting me. Feeling like the protector is also something lots of guys like. And yes, being the sole provider is a little more stressful, but it also gives you more of a motivation and I do like that as well.
I'd be psyched to find a girl to date my age in my country wanting to have that kind of relationship.

I guess what I am getting at here is that no, it's not selfish. You found something making you happier than being out there having a career and your boyfriend said he'd be okay with it.
Do you and your boyfriend want/plan on having kids? That'd be another reason to stay at home. I don't think there is any easier way to handle things and nothing better for kids.
Added bonus: Marriages with traditional gender roles are less likely to fail
>>
>>16503264
>make interesting point
>disappear before clarifying

Screw you, /adv/isor
>>
i want to send a best wishes message to my crush for his birthday, but due to a fighting we have two months ago, we barely speak now.

should i do it?
>>
>>16503408
Yeah, maybe you guys will make up. If he is still a dick about it, forgetabouthim.
>>
>>16502413
I personally don't give a fuck. I'm more interested in what's between their legs at the time. Really, I couldn't care less.

I'd like answers from personally experience if possible. I'm the original poster of that comment asking if men really gave a shit about stretch marks. Here's my question in long form:

I have insecurities. Sometimes it's an issue and sometimes it isn't. I was diagnosed with BDD when I was 19 and I've sure came a long way. I can beat it back most of the time but it can cause me to spiral down into a deep seated hatred of myself. I already know it's not wise to get into a relationship of any kind if you don't at least like yourself. You've got a commitment to yourself first, then others. I'm working on it. This man I'm talking to..I really like. I enjoy what we have. The other men I've spoken to and dated just weren't up to par at the time. For their own reasons they just weren't the committed smart type. No sense of humor or of what it means to be considerate. I have always known not all men are like this. It's impossible and illogical to think they are. But I always thought I couldn't get or deserve better. I've learned in the last nine months this isn't true. I know that in order for me to deserve better I must make sure I'm deserving of him too. I'm ready for this now. I'm beginning to have those fears creep back up on me though. I think I'm not good enough for this man. He's slim, attractive, dresses nice, has a killer sense of humor.. I can't shake this idea of me not being pretty enough for him.. Just not enough of anything in general. I keep telling myself it won't work because why would it? I used to be heavy, have stretch marks.. and I don't wear gorgeous sexy clothes. Not right now anyway. He's put together and I'm not. I'm damaged and he's solid.And I know that insecurities and complexities are unattractive in themselves. what the hell do I do?
>>
Daily reminder that some people (me) will be alone forever despite anything I ever do.

Enjoy your happy fulfilling lives. Happy thanksgiving
>>
>>16503408
Do it most guy's don't hold grudges about dumb arguments.
>>
Alright, I have a question for the straights and gays.
I'm biscum so I can't relate with not being attracted to a gender.

I'd like to ask about real life attraction. Online photos need not apply, that's too specific of aesthetic attraction. Let's put aside transsexuals as well. We're working with cis tomboy girls and cis femmy guys.

So let's say you meet someone in real life. You initially believe that they are your non-preferred gender. You later discover their true gender. They are someone who would make a good match with you.

Would you:

>Be attracted to them initially, before knowing? Striking some confusion to your sexuality.
This would support my theory that the attraction can occur with just pheromones and body language

OR

>Be attracted to them only once you know that they are indeed your preferred gender?
This would support my theory that we put a mental block on attraction if we cerebrally don't understand the situation. Cognitive dissonance winning out, essentially. IE our brain saying "I am not attracted to men/women so therefore I cannot be attracted to that man/woman."


If you have anecdotes about looking at pictures (traps, etc) I would like to hear it. But primarily I hope for people who've run into this IRL.
>>
>>16502524
Ez, just subtly communicate your not into him, if hes a real fuckboi, then he'll probably stop talking to you.
>>
>>16503145
tell yourself that depression is an illness, and that you should stop feeling bad
>>
>>16503680
Honestly, unless they are super noticeable and covering a large area of your body, hardly anybody will care about stretch marks. And if he does, he is most likely a superficial ass not deserving to be with someone.
There is deal breakers for most guys and there is a level of stretch marks that could qualify as "disfiguring" to an extent (for lack of a better word, I am German, so bear with me please).
But trust me, if you need to ask, you do not have it even close to that degree.
I know what BDD does to you (not first hand, but I have seen it) and I know it's not really an option to "just not worry" or "just go with it" or whatever. A lot of your thoughts I also saw in my ex, although she did not have BDD, just the same hatred, no self-esteem at all, feeling useless, and yes, hating her own body (no diagnosed BDD though). All of that.
I think those fears coming back is simply because this finally could be a meaningful relationship you really want, maybe for the first time, and that's scary in itself, bringing back all that negativity. It's easy to have that pulled back out when you start worrying about things as it is that closely related, associated with it, maybe even close on a neurological level.
There is only one question that should really matter to you though (and I have been on the other end of a relationship like that): Can you accept it when he tells you he likes your body, your looks or will you always brush it off and wallow in negativity?
You already said you came a long way and you are able to push it back. So what if he supports you and helps you push it back even further?
You don't need to love yourself for getting into a relationship, you just need to be okay with yourself, have your act together on an acceptable level and it sounds like you do.
The main reason you need to be okay with yourself is because it makes it easier to allow intimacy (a problem with BDD, I know), to allow your partner to actually get to know you.
Cont in next post
>>
>>16503765

You've been watching some weird K-Dramas or some shit haven't you?

Straight male. For me, attraction works off of and has two mandatory things:

1.) Are you a likable/attractive person
2.) Do we have chemistry

In that order of importance.

If 1 is true, but 2 doesn't clear. No go.
If 2 is true, but 1 doesn't clear. No go.

FYI, I've also made out with guys a few times; it's markedly different from making out with girls. The best way I can explain it, it's just boring as all fuck. With girls, sometimes there's a spark or buzz that adds to the excitement, even when it's not there, there's something. With guys it's not that it's disgusting or anything, but more like there's just a gigantic void of nothingness.

I'm pretty good at separating things from myself to dispassionately analyze things. That's why I can see Matt Bomer is hot as fuck, and that objectively one of the best technical kissers I've ever made out with was a guy; even so there was still that void, which made it boring as heck compared to even low skilled females i've kissed.

My lesbian friend once described a strikingly similar experience, about how she figured out she was guy by basically having an, "Oh, so THIS is what a kiss is supposed to feel like" when she first made out with another girl.

I've also definitely thought girls weren't attractive, got to know them, then had them skyrocket in my perception to becoming stunning.


TL;DR: It's a little of both. Chemistry matters, and so does attraction. One will never completely overwrite the other.
>>
>>16503680
>>16503816
Cont.
But my main advice for you, not withstanding all I have said above, would be really simple:
Let him decide whether he is okay with all of that and wants to pursue a relationship.
It may be hard, because you will have to open up about it, but at least try.
If a girl wants to be with me, but sees a problem with herself holding her back from it, telling herself she is not good enough for me? I'd really like to be the one allowed to make the decision whether I want to be with her. After all you are not deciding you don't want to be with him. Your thoughts can be translated into deciding he doesn't want to be with you. But that should be his decision to make.
You'll have to put yourself out there, yes. And there is a possibility of rejection, but there always is. If this really has the chance of being meaningful to you and making you happy, you'll just hate yourself over not having done something to make it happen.
He is a nice, understanding and grown up person, right? He can decide whether he can and wants to handle such a relationship.
If I thought you were the girl for me, I wouldn't think twice about it and go for it. Sure, it's some baggage you bring into the relationship and it might make it a little harder, but who doesn't have baggage? You are at least working on it, and it seems successfully so, which is more than most people can say. And that little extra effort required? It'd be so worth it.
I hope you'll make the right call, that this will work out for you and that you'll manage to deal with that BDD or get rid of it entirely.
Sorry this turned into such a long text. Hope it helps a little anyway.
>>
>>16503182
We continued to be best friends, I dated another of our mutual friends for more than half a year, but I didn't develop any feelings for her and still felt what I felt for the my best friend, so I broke up with the one I was dating. Then we all graduated, about a year passed, I was still as close as glue with her, she admitted her feelings for me, and now we've been a couple for over a year, as happy as can be.
>>
>>16503845
For>>16503183
>>
>>16503829
Thank you for your thorough response!
So what would happen for you in a situation where you initially think a tomboy is a boy but then realize she is a girl?
You recognize "him" as attractive, but are you attracted before knowing her gender?
>>
>>16502579
USA (specifically Los Angeles)
Nothing more than platonic, but I've met people from all over, first, second generation and beyond, all types of mixes. There are definitely shared traits and differences, but I've met nice people of all types. Accents are cool to hear.
>>
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>>16501153
Does a girl's popularity matter?

For example, if there were two girls with the same looks and personality, but one had fewer friends, or none at all, while the other was popular, which one would you rather date?
>>
>>16503816
>>16503843

That's really just the response I needed. Fuck. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the time you took to reply and in the way you did. Thanks stranger. You gave my confidence the little boost it needed. Now let's see if I can take it from here.
>>
>>16503843
Oh, I wanted to add, but got lost in my little "rant":
I did also date a girl with some stretch marks before. She had lost some weight prior to us dating.
I saw them, but since they weren't covering much of her body and simply lighter coloured skin, I didn't care, like at all.
Well over 99 % of the time, I didn't really realise they were there or even remember they were. Honestly, I had way better things to do than focus on that. And even when I did, see them, they weren't off putting to me (not like the results I get when I google it). It was a lot like just realising "oh yeah, that's there too, I remember" and none of those times was during sex. (Similar to what you said in response to that question regarding men really.)
I really don't think you have anything to worry about. (Also she was half Iraqi, so it was even slightly more noticeable than on Caucasians and didn't phase me one bit.)
>>
>>16503880
>same looks and personality
I'm assuming that she's likable and would pick the one with fewer friends.
Why? Because I don't really like sharing her with 20 other people.
>>
Hey guys, my girlfriend has recently started going out with friends to clubs without me, going last weekend and now this weekend. Am I justified in feeling like its not really a place she should be going as my partner? I've told her its fine so far though I cant ignore im bothered by the idea of her spending time somewhere oriented around single people flirting and hooking up. I was going to stay at hers this saturday night but she's told me she might go out with her friends later in the evening, which makes me feel second rate and as if she'd prefer the attention of people at the club to me. I would probably go, though medical circumstances means I cant.
>>
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any grills can help a lad out?
>outta the loop for 3 years
>get some will power back, start making moves and working my way to get a gf
>ex starts to stalk me online
What do i do here m9s, my contingency plan is obsolute to say the least.
>>
>>16503880
Popularity doesn't matter to me at all. The last time that actually mattered to me was back in school.
But in your hypothetical situation, I know I would go for the less popular one. The reason is quite simple, because assuming they have the same looks (I take it that includes style) and personality and also assuming I am otherwise equally attracted to both of them, the one less popular would get some extra sympathy points just for that.
But I am also drawn to wallflowers. I don't know, I just have a thing for them (and a huge, huge thing for cute, still somewhat feminine tomboys).
>>
>>16503914
don't give a crapola about her
it's fate tempting you to go back to your shitty laifu
>>
>>16503207
>Men, why do you think that homemakers and housewives get so little respect these days?
3 generations of propaganda.

> Do you think that it is a better idea that all, or at least most, women return home?
Dunno if they could adapt. I think it would also require jobs being more stable so there wasn't a constant threat of having your only source of income wiped out.
That said, I do think we'd be happier off in traditional roles if they were to become feasible. And personally I hate having to think of women as rivals.
>>
>>16502721
I get some guys are retarded, but c'mon dude
>>
>>16503865

To be honest, I'm a decent enough looking guy I tend to be attracted to decent enough looking girls, so that makes "the tomboy is a boy situation" purely academic for me.

But, based off speaking of my own character, I don't become attracted to someone until I get to know them, period.

One of the most attractive girls I've ever met--like I think she's cool as fuck, think she's attractive as hell, and I can literally tell where she's been by just her scent alone; a scent that makes me a little dizzy-- I didn't give a flying fuck about until one random night where we were just alone and started chatting, discovered we got along super well, and instantly clicked and hooked up. She was the first time I ever woke up a morning after with a grin on my face that wouldn't fade.

Before that I'd already met her, and pretty much just said hey, traded a few lines, and went completely separate ways.

It works in reverse too. There are plenty of attractive women I don't give a fuck about because we just don't click.

If you're a dude and we click, cool, you're a bro.

If you're a chick and we click, but I'm not physically attracted to you, sorry, the breaks are, I'm good enough looking that I can have minimum standards, you're a female bro. That sounds superficial as fuck, but that's just human nature. You need to be physically, mentally, and chemically attracted to someone for a romantic relationship to work, and all are equally important.

I have tons of male and female friends, attractive and not, and I'm not at all desperate so all three matter to me. I personally wouldn't be physically attracted to a confusingly andro female, so even you might be mentally and possibly even chemically attractive to me, that third element would be missing so a romantic attachment just wouldn't form.

Could OTHER people be attracted to andro guys/girls? Sure, that's definitely a thing; just not mine.
>>
How does pms affects the mindset? My girlfriend told me that she always gets on her perdioby the day 20~30. This whole week she is so moody,insecure, doubtfull, gets upset over anything, she is cold by text messages but at real person she is another person
What is going on? I already gave her chocolate and roses shouldn't that help?
>>
What height is too short for you girls?Is a 5'8" guy acceptable and seen as manly?
>>
>>16503984
No, just wait it out
It's pretty normal

- girl with a period
>>
>>16503987
I'm a 5"3 girl, if a guy's head only reaches my boobs and I would almost have to squat to kiss him, then he is short.
Otherwise I prefer if we are the same height. I had crushes on short guys before.
>>
>>16503979
Thanks for being patient with me.

I'm actually writing a story, which is why I'm going into the nitty gritty details.

Since you've been so good to me, maybe you'll allow one last scenario?

Say you get close to andro girl you assume is a boy. Gender doesn't come up due to loony happenstance or she has a legitimate reason to lie that doesn't make you mad. You like "him" a lot and you click. If I'm reading you right, I would stay as friends, yes? No interest sexually nor romantically.
Now say after revealing her gender, she pulls off a hat/wig to let out long feminine hair and dresses more feminine. Because you are attracted to feminine girls, that change would click her over to a potential prospect, right?
>>
Yesterday I set up a dinner date with a girl for this weekend. Should I text her at all to confirm she's going, or should I just go to the place we agreed upon and trust that she'll be there?

Also, if I texted her I guess it'd be at the hour she leaves work, which is like 30 mins earlier than the date time
>>
Why don't girls like me ?
>>
>>16504046
because you're a insecure beta or a fag in denial
>>
>>16504046
Because you are an insecure whiny little bitch asking dumb questions. Just a wild guess though.
>>
>>16504040
I think it was recent enough to where you don't need to ask if she will be there. At least cancelling should still be expected, is it not?
I would probably sent her a text if you made plans a longer time ago, but not if you'll meet within 3 days. Reasonable enough to expect her to just remember.
Texting her for confirmation could also make you seem anxious, or worse, insecure.
>>
>>16504028
Watch "She's the man".
Not like that kind of story has never been written before.
Can't speak from experience myself though, as I am a bi guy, albeit far more attracted to women.
>>
>girls
How weird would you find a guy who has never dated? Recently someone told me that a lot of people around me find it creep I've never had a girlfriend. I'm not a virgin, I'm an attractive and funny and normal guy but apparently the fact I have no past relationships is creepy?
>>
>>16504048
>>16504049
Why does that warrant an asshole response?
>>
>>16504076
because it's an asshole question
>>
>>16503880
>Does a girl's popularity matter?
>For example, if there were two girls with the same looks and personality, but one had fewer friends, or none at all, while the other was popular, which one would you rather date?
It depends on the people. If the girl with more friends have some interesting friends I would end up with her to be honest.

The problem is that it is extremely rare to see girls being close friends with quality people so realistically there are 90% of chance of me going for the other one.
>>
>>16504028

The dress and hair don't really matter, because it's always been the facial features and personality that i'm most attracted to.

Actually, my girlfriend is pretty tomboyish. She pretty much just wears jeans, tshirts, and cargo jackets. The very first thing I noticed about her were her eyes though, and those don't change not matter if you're wearing a dress, have long hair, or whatever else.You similarly also can't suddenly change body language or affectations.

I do know one androgynous person that's a lesbian. She grew up with only guy friends, and she looks, acts, talks, and sounds exactly like a guy. She even talks about getting laid all the time, and spazzes out over how hot chicks are. You could put her in a dress and tie her hair back to be more feminine (I've seen it), but does nothing to change that she still acts exactly like a guy. Even if she pretended to be more feminine, she is who she is.

If she were just androgynous looking, but by every other regard, feminine in trait, she'd just obviously be a girl to me. Otherwise, you get the above scenario and I'd just never be attracted.
>>
>>16504078
How is that?

Excited af to hear this next response
>>
>>16503880
Don't care. But I'm more likely to meet the popular one in the first place, through friends and such.
>>
>>16503829
>Straight male
>FYI, I've also made out with guys a few times
lol
>>
>>16504088
Other guy with an "asshole response".
That question is just so incredibly dumb to ask, this has to be shitposting, ergo deserving of asshole responses, if any at all.
Why did I never find the perfect tobacco for my pipes? Answer me that right now with only what you know.
>>
>>16503880

Don't care one way or the other.

As long as she's self-sufficient enough to not make me the center of her world, but also aware enough to realize that a significant other should have at least some minor priority, all good.
>>
>>16501512
> Girls
> In charge of getting the less than sign correct
>>
>>16504064
I will just shut up and trust that she'll be there then. Hopefully she isnt the forgetful type
>>
Question for everyone

I nearly cheated on my GF and she found out which obviously created a huge drama. I (successfully) downplayed everything and she somewhat believes me. I know I am a scumbag and I will never do anything like this ever again but now I am scared shitless the she finds out the whole story.
I made a mistake but I don't want to lose her or anything. Besides me there are 2 people who know the whole story, the other girl and a close friend of mine. My GF knows both of them but only loosely.
So how can I prevent that she finds out or should I tell her the truth?

I know people and it won't happen again
>>
>>16504102
i don't know anything about tobacco

but i mean you've surely found some tobacco, at least once. which is more than i can say about myself and girls.
>>
>>16504158
See? You can't answer that question. Even if you would know everything there is to know about tobacco, you could never hope to answer it. Why? Because you don't know anything about me, the tobacco I tried, what kind of tobacco I might like and so on.
You simply can't answer a question without information. You didn't provide any.
The question is also based on a wrong assumption. And it is way too broad to even be answered, even if it weren't based on a wrong assumption. Be specific, provide information and think before posting.
I really hope this is just a bad attempt at trolling...

>>16504146
You are a huge, huge asshole.
She will eventually find out and I hope she does so sooner rather than later. I also hope she leaves an asshole like you over this.
I don't really believe you when you say "it won't happen again", based on the vibes your post gives out.
You can only hope to fix things by coming clean and not hide shit like that. Bad enough you weren't the one to tell her in the first place.
You not wanting to lose her is also a reason as selfish as it gets. She should be the one to decide whether you get to keep her. If she finds out in a year and breaks up with you over it, she will still have lost a year to some ass without a spine or balls.
You can still try to do what's right and to make amends, try to fix things.
>>
>>16504190
I am trying to fix things and I hate myself for what I did! But I don't know how to fix it. And thats the reason I am here. I didn't want to hurt her so I lied to her but I am feeling really bad about it.
I made a mistake that is not excusable and I don't know how to make it right.
Besides your wish that she leaves me do you have any help for me?
>>
>>16504190
Well I'm sure glad you were capable of unleashing your inner self hatred on me. Have a happy thanksgiving
>>
>>16504229
You aren't trying to fix things, you are trying to protect yourself.
Think about her and her feelings here for a second.
You made that thing even worse for you with your lie. How is she supposed to believe you now or trust you on this or in the future after finding out about that lie?
I already told you what to do. Tell her. She will find out. And when she does, things are only going to blow up in your face even worse and I can pretty much guarantee her leaving you (unless she is stupid) if she finds out because of anything but you telling her yourself without her needing to ask.
All you can pretty much do is come clean, apologise (no explaining, no justifying), try your best to regain her trust and pray she forgives you. But you have to accept if she does.

>>16504253
>projecting
No self hatred there, I like myself. I just hate cheaters with a fiery passion.
>>
I have a date tonight at a pool hall. What wear?
>>
Girls: How much do you mind if a guy hasn't....done anything in a pretty long time.
I was in a relationship from my 17th until my 19th, I'm 23 now and I haven't had sex, or even kissed a girl since.
>>
>>16504269
Nice jacket/shirt, deodorant and nice shoes
>>
>>16503781
>just subtly communicate your not into him
How, though?
>>
>>16504293
What's a nice jacket/shirt?

I have casual business wear for work, a nice polo shirt with an undershirt, or a tight black shirt and shorts. (I live in florida, it's hot)
>>
>>16504260
How can I tell her?
I know this is selfish but I really don't want to lose her or anything. Despite that is our relationship so perfect and I would spend the rest of my life with her if I could!
>>
>>16504312
You sit her down and talk to her. What other option do you have?
So quit being selfish about this for once and think of her. She is your girlfriend after all, so you have a responsibility to watch out for her, to care for her and you are willing to just say "fuck it" when it comes to this?
You fucked up, big time. Now man up and take responsibility for it.
If you'd truly love her, have that "perfect relationship" you are talking about and had a spine, you would see no other option but to talk to her about it, to make her and her feelings a priority in this, not your own selfishness, no other option but to try and do everything you can to fix this. (Although you wouldn't have (almost) cheated in the first place.)
Honestly, think about her first. This isn't about you and protecting yourself.
>>
Is there a stigma against having a foreskin. I heard a lot of girls find it unattractive/unsanitary. I'm an uncut virgin so this made me nervous.
>>
>>16503880
I don't really think so. I honestly would go for the girl with less friends as having too many friends inflates people's egos, makes them vain and shallow a lot of the time
>>
>>16503880
Added bonus to the unpopular girl?
It means it's less likely she was sleeping around/has had a lot of sexual partners before.
So really, there is only advantages to a less popular girl from my point of view. Kinda weird how being less popular seems to make someone more popular with the guys (at least by what was said on here).
>>
>>16504068
I wanted to get some feedback since I doubt the accuracy of the films out there. I want it to be more real. Sure I can throw caution to the wind and just do whatever I want, but it's more fun to have it be correct.

>>16504085
Alright, I'll roll with this. So that tomboy acts masculine, right? How about if instead of a tomboy she's coming off as a feminine guy?
Someone who, as far as you're aware, is male but acts like a girl.
You're saying it would be obvious, but for this scenario let's just say is isn't obvious. Maybe there's some doubt, like "jeez, this guy is girly" but you're told that he's a guy so your only option is to just shrug and accept it.
>>
>>16504609
So you mean pretty much like "She's the man" with that "feminine guy" thing.
Why don't you just go with your own feelings regarding this if you want your story to be realistic? This should be plenty real then.
Even if my own opinion on this won't be of any help to you, I can still tell you what I read about this:
Some guy on Yahoo answers, f.e., thought he was in a relationship with a girl and found out it was a guy. His boyfriend thought the same thing. He was horribly conflicted and confused about this whole situation, but still loved him, or so he said. It's not like those feelings building up over a long time can just be switched off after all.
Also judging by a lot of reactions in threads when traps are posted/revealed as such, a lot of guys are disgusted, but can't help but still think that guy is cute.
It just seems to me like such a drastic and radical change in one's perception of another is really unrealistic. It just doesn't happen solely based on new information.
If you want to build a story around this, I'd advise you to have your character be confused about the situation, because while he may think that girl is a guy, he does get different vibes from her than other guys, sees "him" in a different light. This would also be good for some inner conflict going on, that character doubting himself and his sexuality once he finally realises he actually is attracted to the "guy".
This just seems way more realistic than a sudden and complete change in someone's feelings for another because that person took of a wig.
At least that's how I'd go about it, if I were to write such a story (and I do write myself).
I don't think all of the movies out there about this are unrealistic. Sure, they are mostly a little over the top for comedic effect, they are usually comedies after all. Just find those comedic situations and omit them or tone them down enough and you have a nice little basis to work from for your own work.
>>
>>16504692
>Why don't you just go with your own feelings regarding this
I'm bisexual. I wouldn't have any identity crisis over a gender change in my partner.

I'm mostly towards the confused and aroused side, yeah. Since I can't relate to this conflict, I honestly don't know if knowing their gender makes a drastic difference or not.
I'm not assuming that it'd go from 100% platonic to 100% fuck me now. I was thinking that if knowing mattered, would it go more on the side of this:
would they think,
>"This person's cool. If they were the other gender I would totally consider dating them."
But not pursue them, nor lust over them, nor pine?

Or, if knowing doesn't matter, would they be willing to try dating?

And I don't necessarily mean that the movies that did this are wrong. What I'm trying to do is figure out how this would happen independently from what media already expects from this scenario. They aren't necessarily wrong, but I'm not going to take them as truth of what's correct.
>>
>>16504718
>If they were the other gender I would totally consider dating them.
I don't think that's how it'd work.
Before I knew I was bisexual (to an extent, hard to describe really) myself not even I had that kinda thoughts.
And whether someone is willing to question his entire sexuality and date someone he thinks is a man, really depends on each individual guy. I know plenty of straight men who would never in their life consider this, no matter how compatible they'd be and no matter how girly that guy comes across. It would be an instant and pretty much irrevocable deal breaker to think someone is a guy. (Maybe after quite some time of a girl being girly after finding out she is not a guy.)
To me knowing someone's gender just makes a drastic difference if that person doesn't match my type for that gender. Strangely enough, I do have really, really different preferences for guys and girls and wouldn't date a guy like the girls I am into in a million years. It's weird, but that's just how I work, can't explain it either.
When I am writing I simply go with what feels right to me, so that's what I would do there as well.
>>
>>16504742
>When I am writing I simply go with what feels right to me, so that's what I would do there as well.
I know you're trying to help, but the reason I'm asking this is that I just don't know.

I've had people tell me the "If only you were the other gender" line and heard them say it about other people, which is where I got that.
But that's less about attraction and more about desiring a partner with certain traits. Kindness, similar humor, shared hobbies, etc etc
>>
Guys, how often do you like your girlfriend to initiate sex? How often do you like to have sex in general?
>>
How do you even know if you're making progress with a girl who's nice to literally everyone?
>>
>>16504836
When she says "yes" to being asked on a date.
>>
>>16504876
What if she never can due to following 2 careers, and so the only times to socialize are in college.
>>
>>16504880
If she doesn't have time to date, she doesn't have time for you. What do you even hope from a relationship if you can never spend time alone together? Why even pursue her?
>>
1. How do you feel about asking women out while they're at work?

2. How do you feel about "hey I find you attractive, want to join me for dinner"? What other way can I not beat around the bush?
>>
File: TheDENNISSystem.png (249KB, 624x352px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
TheDENNISSystem.png
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How do you do the second part in the system? I never know how to read someone else and if they're reciprocating feelings. Like even holding hands.
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