>5 years therapy >diagnosed with depression, anxiety and

MMA? Are you good at anything? Other than depression

>>16497738
forgot to mention I have been taking fluoxetine for 5 years, 20mg a day
Alprazolam in "last-resort" cases although I've been taking them like drugs now

Also already got locked up in a mental institution once and it was traumatic and I'd rather die than go back there, I think

>>16497738
Just workout it helps me when I'm frustrated and picks you up when you're depressed

>>16497744
uh

not really

I'm kind of artistry/expressive but not that out of the average

At this point, you need to do what you really don't want to. Sociable-ness. It's really what I need to do, but I put it off with bullshit. Try anything, night classes, hobbies, fucking hell, even stripping. I'll throw a couple quid your way.

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>>16497748
I fucking hate working out.
I really admire people who do it, but I can't. I fucking can't. I've been trying for years, changed my diet, but I'm just too feeble. It's just too painful to the point of tears. I'm getting tested for fibromyalgia or any other kind of sickness though.
>inb4 fat
No, while my face is pretty chubby, I'm actually way below my recommended weight. You could snap my wrist in half with your bare hands if you really tried.
>>16497753
I tried socializing so many times and making "friends" and in the end it got me into even more shit and even more depressed. Depressed to the point of multiple overdoses. Not enough to kill probably, but enough to knock me out for a whole day.
People-ing is really exhausting
I'm in a course and I keep skipping it
Just like everything else
I just can't wake up, can't get up, can't get energy
I can't stop sleeping
RIP

You seem fun enough on these here internets. Do you do anything but sleep? Even if it's boring as fuck?

>>16497776
Yeah because it's a mere persona. I think.
I love videogames, animu, books, fiction stuff overall, porn, and uh... Fuck if I know
When I'm not sleeping I'm usually on my computer or phone or whatever vidyagame console, crying and pitying my poor self wahhh, eating, or masturbating
Living the half-NEET life

That don't sound too bad at all. What games dya play?

>>16497792
Pretty much everything, whatever I feel like playing. Varies a lot. CSGO, TF2, Splatoon, Mario Kart, RPGs, Tomb Raider, osu!, visual novels, fighting games, very few MMOs, adventure games, etc

...But how is that relevant?

>>16498156
He's hitting on your crazy ass.

Listen OP, maybe you should try to change a doctor/therapist, or meds. Maybe you should try a little more to normalise yourself, because now you live half-NEET life, but is it seriously all you want to do? Try to push yourself harder, be more sociable, etc

>>16498166
Oh.

I have. I've changed psychologists god knows how many times, but been with the same psychiatrist for the last 5 years. I just can't get rid of her. She refuses to change my meds too. Makes me feel even shittier just like everyone else but I need them for legality issues.
And like I said in >>16497767, I've tried socializing so many times but it only brought me down even more. If anything I got a trauma, for fuck's sake. "Friends" my ass. Everybody just plays a happy go lucky stupid fake little game just for the sake of the label "friends" but dump your ass when you show the tiniest sign of not being that perfect.

My negro, was just trying to be friendly. And the do you play games bit was me hoping I wouldn't have to solo queue anymore. But, back on track. Yeah, social shit is all can bring you back. Humans are social animals, no matter the autistic levels.

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>>16498257
But I don't wanna.... It's too much...
A few days ago someone introduced their girlfriend to me. Online, even. Just to be friends (not that interested into girls anyway, rarely happens). I was so fucking tense and freaking the fuck out I nearly threw up.
I just can't do it, man. You don't understand. It's not even possible to describe.

Well, what do you want to be like in 5 years time?

Have an end goal. Work towards it slowly. Sacrifices must be made. However much pain, imagine how good it'll feel to finally be happy. Or at least, not depressed as.

And as for short term happiness, I like the rekt thread on /b/

just accepting yourself is half the battle, learn to like you and the rest will come easier. tried smoking weed?

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I've been dealing with depression for some time... Something that's helped me is making lists for myself, like chores to do/fun things I can do. Seeing my options presented to me makes it easier to get up and do just a couple things. People also make me feel bad almost always yet sometimes it can be refreshing; but I get that most of the time it's probably nicer to be by yourself. I can also recommend hobbies like gardening or aquariums, both are very soothing. Having hobbies/things that need my attention in my own home also help get me moving for the day and can really improve my mood/productivity. I don't know if any of that sounds appealing but I've definitely been trying to be simple with myself.