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How to help?

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An older coworker of mine had asked me to talk to her son, who actually is mtf trans. Pronouns are weird but keep up with me. She’s 19, and it turns out she recently attempted suicide and is hardcore depressed. Also recently ran out of meds (SSRI) and is getting set up on some new stuff (different SSRI). When I spoke with her she mostly didn’t say much. And this was just email. Very short responses, and she seemed more interested in me helping her get HRT than anything. Which is understandable of course, but I was hoping maybe we could chat and be friends?

Now she’s got her HRT going and is working on changing her name. And that’s wonderful. But there are these incidences I guess that I hear about from her mom, at work. Like pretty serious stuff that makes it seem like maybe she’s gonna kill herself soon. It’s a place I’ve been, and I really feel like I could help a little if she gave me a chance.

Her mom seems to be getting kind of desperate, and really really wants us to meet and hang out because she wants her to have a friend, and feels like we’d probably make good friends because we’re similar in lots of ways and could maybe relate through the whole trans experience. I could use a friend too, if I’m being honest.

But what can I do if she really doesn’t seem like she wants to talk? Guess I can’t know what she’s thinking when I try to talk to her. I wish we could IM somehow because then she might open up more. Should I just ask her if she IMs and maybe see if we could chat that way? I’m afraid of scaring her off. And I’m worried too. I hate it when people commit suicide.

dammit character limit wtf man
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How can I get her talking to me? Opening up a little and sharing more about herself. She’s so distant. Her mom thinks it’s because she thinks I’m like her mom’s friend and she’s a teenager so that’s weird. I’m not so sure. Could be weird for her talking to someone as old as me but I’m not like 30 or anything. 19 wasn’t so long ago and I remember all that shit.

TL;DR: how do i make cold and distant girl open up and chat with me so we can be friends?
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You're asking a super tough question, which we probably wouldn't be able to answer even if we knew the two of you very personally. You'll just have to give it a chance. Don't be afraid to be "pushy." Honestly, she's decided way ahead of time if she thinks you're disingenuous. And you certainly don't want to feel like you didn't try hard enough.

I hope you know some kind of personal defense martial arts. I've got a feeling like she could get violent.
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>>16495081
>I hope you know some kind of personal defense martial arts. I've got a feeling like she could get violent.
dude what? she's a super quiet socially awkward trans girl, not like a roided out meathead.

the rest of your post made some sense. i'm afraid though that if i push too hard she'll get completely turned off of me and decide to just block me. at least now she's talking to me sort of, with like one sentence replies that don't really say anything.

such a tough situation :/
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>>16495063
S/He is going through an identity crisis. S/He possibly became trans as a way of explaining all that is wrong with him/her but it of course didn't, so now s/he is stuck in his/her misery.

Could also have a touch of autism or schizoprenia in there as well, leading to one very fucked up puppy.

Quite likely s/he is using the internet as the font of knowledge and support so s/he feels no need to communicate with the rest of the world - who simple wouldn't understand.

Frankly, stay away. Fucked up is fucked up and there's no joy or salvation in becoming involved.
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>>16495190
that's not very understanding or compassionate of you. she's trans and is transitioning; there's not too much to look into here. assuming she's crazy and has some sort of personality disorder or something is ridiculous.

she's probably lonely, without any friends. but that doesn't mean she's not worth talking to or whatever.

it's weird that i feel like i have to defend her from your ignorance :/

>>16495192
nice bait loser.
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>>16495095
>she's a super quiet socially awkward trans girl, not like a roided out meathead.
No, I mean that she likely has more mental issues that just depression and transitioning. The DSM kept transsexualism on their books as a mental disorder for so long because these people almost always DO have additional problems on top of their identity disorder. It wouldn't be unusual for her to be bipolar or schizophrenic. All I'm saying is that she can act out suddenly, and maybe even violently. Don't let yourself be in the house alone.
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>>16495215

>>16495190 (Me)
Don't get sucked inot the black hole of misery. S/He's trans is possibly a convenient excuse or cover for deeper problems that are not so easy to address.

Once upon a time, before the internet, these people either survived or died. It really doesn't matter any more now than it did then. It's just the damage and wierdness is projected further than it was before, impacting on more people's lives and with no positive consequences whatsoever.
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>>16495232
are you trolling here? because this is insane. i've learned non-violent restraint for my job, but the chances of me needing to use it with her are basically zero. so what if she's bipolar or something? i guess she's clinically depressed but that doesn't mean she's prone to violent outbursts. that's kind of offensive lol.

>>16495244
well the trained professionals i put her into contact with disagreed, and she ended up getting her hormones. you're kind of being offensive too. trans people are a thing. it's not just a group of people trying to cover up their mental illness with makeup and new fatty tissue.
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>>16495062
Katie, why u trollin under a dif name?
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>>16495286
Trolling 101:
go into random threads and accuse people of trolling~
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>>16495263
>it's not just a group of people trying to cover up their mental illness with makeup and new fatty tissue.

it literally is though
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>>16495301
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>>16495263
Saying this in the least confrontational way possible but no, trans people are not a 'thing'. Transsexuality is the epitome of mental illness.

But you're one of them, so you've brainwashed yourself to be blind to the glaring truth.

Very sad. Shame on you for aiding in dragging down a vulnerable young man with you. You're a terrible human being, I mean really, you are a terrible, terrible human being.
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>>16495336
>help a suicidal person gain access to the medical treatment she needed
>get called a terrible human being on 4chan
i'm starting to get tired of the /pol/ "trans is mental illness" meme. how is it that this is what happens when i sincerely ask for help with a serious issue? jesus fuck 4chan is a toxic environment.
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>>16495346
She still might kill herself after the fact OP. Trans-am users are highly susceptible to suicidal depression. I'm also not really sure why you're hung up on the fact that gender disphoria is a mental illness.
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>>16495352
Oh wait this is a troll thread, nevermind. Godspeed OP.
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>>16495346
That boy is suicidal because he has internal confusions surrounding his gender. He's sexually confused, and that sexual confusion is a result of his environment.

The suicidal tension comes from trying to escape his manhood through transforming into a female. It's like trying to swim upstream. It just is not right at a basic level, but everyone around him told him that it was right, so while consciously he feels as though he should be swimming with the stream, subconsciously he is gravely aware that he is swimming against it.

That dissonance is what causes his suicidal ideation. You enabling him to delve into this sick process is what is pressuring him internally into suicide.

You can't accept it because you're already well into it, and that's bad and all, but don't drag another person down with you. You're just as bad as kids who shoot up schools who feel like they get to take down others with them just because of their own personal agony.

You're literally JUST as bad. You are literally killing kids being an enabler. It's no different than running into a school with a rifle.
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>>16495215

>assuming she has a mental disorder is dumb
>is trans
>depressed
>only talks to you to get you to help her buy hormone therapy

Yes of course, the normal path to adulthood of manipulation, victimhood, and self diagnosis. Clearly we are dealing with a well adjusted reasonable person
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>>16495352
i'm aware she might kill herself. that's kind of what the thread is about? working to prevent that somehow.

you don't have anything interesting or novel to say about gender dysphoria so just shut up about it.

>>16495359
or just leave entirely. that works out nicely desu.

>>16495361
>make thread asking how to help a friend
>be compared to a school shooter
yay 4chan

>>16495365
obviously she's not that well-adjusted. she attempted suicide and might again. but you don't know why she's depressed. her dad is actually not supportive at all and her life kind of sucks hard atm.
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>>16495376
Yeah I guess Himmler was just helping his buddy ol' pal Adolf kill all those kykes!

You are the abomination of modern society and deserve to be burned at the stake. I'm a well-adjusted man with a corporate job and a family and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You are a terrorist against the youth of the world and deserve a death sentence.
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>>16495376

>her life kind of sucks hard

Yeah. Everyones does at some point or another, the standard isnt to switch genders and try to kill yourself. The fact that she was only interested in talking to you to further her own hrt and then quickly shut down communication speaks volumes about how shitty of a person she is.

>views others as tools
>self-inflated worth
>no real sense of consequences
>no long term vs short term realization
>dramatic
>possibly bipolar

Why involve yourself OP? Youll just become embroiled in drama at best case and worst case feel bad when a mentally damaged individual kills themselves after you tried to help. Only thing i can think of is youre tumblr and "saving" a trans kid would give you a huge sjw boner
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>>16495395
i'm not a bad person. gtfo.

>>16495410
she reminds me a lot of myself at that age, maybe. and i really do like to help people whenever possible. i kinda feel like this might be a chance to save a life. do something worthwhile and wonderful for someone.

no matter how "shitty" (and i don't think she is) a person is, there is a fount of goodness in everyone. i'm sure if we just got to know one another we could be really good friends. i want a friend too.
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>>16495410
All of those things you listed likely describe OP to a T. You're talking to a wall man.


I'm not even directly talking to OP when I say what I say, I'm more making a point.


>>16495425
You most certainly are a terrible person, and without repair.
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>>16495434
leave the thread. comparing me to a school shooter is not sane. you have nothing worthwhile to contribute here. get out.
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>>16495446
You want to talk about sane?

You advocate children taking hormones to appear more like the opposite sex. You advocate them in their teens mutilating their genitalia/bodies. You've probably done it yourself you fucking abomination.

I'll leave the thread once you leave this life.
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>>16495451
19 is legal adult. she made the decision herself and anything i did was not going to stop her. already she'd tried at a clinic but it didn't work out for some reason (i think money).

and yeah maybe i used to cut myself some before i got hrt. life sucks as a teenager, and sucks much harder if you're trans.

you're ridiculous, comparing me to a school shooter and then telling me to kill myself. why are you even posting here in /adv/?
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>>16495466
Look at you.

Positively no sense of responsibility. No sense of consequence out in the world and upon yourself for your actions.

Life is just a big empty video game where you get to do and be whatever!

When is the day you will wake up and realise how wrong you are? Will death come sooner do you think?

God have mercy upon your inside out and naked soul. That thing which beats into thin air like an exposed human heart.
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>>16495494
okay now i'm starting to like you. this brand of troll is fascinating.

how 'bout you cut the hateful redneck act and we talk like actual people here?
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maybe that got rid of him finally. kind of a shame 'cause now i wanted to chat but oh well.

bump for actual serious replies hopefully. please please.
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>>16495559
Go to sleep
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>>16495562
why did you even post this?
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>>16495579
Because its what you should do

Stop questioning me and just do it
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>>16495583
yeah i should have been in bed over an hour ago. but i'm writing up a pre-lab between posts and i'm not finished yet so... :/

sorry. if i were a better student i would be in bed.
Thread posts: 34
Thread images: 6


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