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Question: how do I stop being a needy bitch? I'm a 20 year

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Question: how do I stop being a needy bitch?

I'm a 20 year old kissless virgin. I'm a virgin because of social anxiety, not because I look retarded (I swear). In the past month I met a girl on Omegle, she's from Turkey. I added her on Facebook and we have spoken a lot since. Now we talk on Whatsapp and sometimes even by phone conversation, which is all very new to me. She's a genuine 9/10 and she has a boyfriend. There's no way I can be with her, I know this. Yet because I'm a 20 yo virgin who is severely deprived of women contact, I am constantly thinking about her. I check my phone a lot to see whether or not she has sent me a message. I fantasize about her etc. It even makes me literally sick. This shit sucks because it's useless suffering.

So how do I stop to be a needy bitch and get over this shitty situation? I bet anons on here have been through a same sort of process. It's interesting stuff I think, in the end.

pic unrelated
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Spend your time doing other things than bitching. Pay attention to the moment, when acting/thinking like this occurs, replace your behaviour with something more constructive. It will "build confidence", just from the mere fact that you experience being in control of your own emotions and actions. It's a fake it til you make it situation. In the progress of growing more experience-oriented, and "less outcome-dependant", you will appear more attractive. If you want to get with women, you should learn "how to build attraction". YouTube is a terrific resource for this. As long as you don't see it as such a life or death situation, but just learn to enjoy the learning curve, don't be so focused on the result, but understand that the first step is to learn "how to hold conversations as a man", you will get there eventually. Being rejected should become a part of the fun. It's healthy, because it allows you to reflect on what you can do to improve. The most intimidating part of approaching, is the moment you walk up and start talking. The moments following makes it easier and easier, like talking to a friend. If you can challenge yourself to do it as much as possible, it will become a natural part of your character.

Protip: don't just talk to girls you'd like to fuck. Talk to everyone, the bus driver, the mail lady, the cashier, people you pass on the street, neighbors. Saying stuff like "What a lovely day!" to strangers, can be enough to warm you up, so that when it comes to approaching girls, you've already talked to plenty of strangers that day.

And about your Turkish friend. Push her further away, in the back of your mind. Look up what I've written in apostrophes, and go out and have fun experiencing. Who knows, one day you might want to visit Turkey. Who knows, one day she might have broken up with her boyfriend. But don't save your v-card for her.

And btw, good looks really isn't the reason people lose their virginity.
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>>16485471
Thanks a lot for this reply.

>Pay attention to the moment, when acting/thinking like this occurs, replace your behaviour with something more constructive.
What do you mean exactly by this? What is 'more constructive behaviour'?
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>>16485471
>Protip: don't just talk to girls you'd like to fuck. Talk to everyone, the bus driver, the mail lady, the cashier, people you pass on the street, neighbors. Saying stuff like "What a lovely day!" to strangers, can be enough to warm you up, so that when it comes to approaching girls, you've already talked to plenty of strangers that day.

This x1000

You know why older guys are so confident? Because they have more experiences. If a toddler drops his ice cream, it will be the most horrible thing that ever happened to him, because not much else has happened to him.

So try to get as much experiences as you can.
Couchsurfing or meetup often have meetups,
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>>16485501
I'd probably cry if I dropped my ice cream too.
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bump for interest, similar situation but with an IRL friend
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>>16485508
>similar situation but with an IRL friend
It sucks doesn't it? I feel like a donkey trying to catch a carrot attached to its back. It sucks when you desire something which is unattainable, yet you can't seem to stop desiring. A very bad feeling.
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>>16485435
What I find most interesting about this thread is you found someone worth talking to on omegle.
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>>16485520
Currently, I cope by distancing myself physically. No hugs, no sharing umbrellas, nada. Partly because I'm too socially inept to judge what's appropriate in the first place, partly because her boyfriend and I mutually think the other guy's a complete fuckwit that does nothing but decrease her life quality and doesn't live up to his responsibilities.
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>>16485488
More constructive in the sense that it affirms your desired outcome. If you want to become more confident and successful with women, you should never talk yourself down. You don't want to be a bitch, so you have just described yourself as one for the very last time ITT. If you hold your own values and boundaries high, there is never any reason why you should complain about other people nor explain your own behaviour. Don't be a nice guy, be a good man.

Know this, that being needy with women is ranking high in the list of reasons why women leave men, or men don't get with women in the first place. If you ever catch yourself being needy, stop immediately. Let's say that you're in a relationship, and you've been planning a romantic dinner at home. Your girlfriend sends you a text saying that she's going for some drinks to catch up with her friend she hasn't seen in a while. A needy guy would complain about cooking all afternoon and that he's disappointed she didn't tell him earlier, and that at least he should be allowed to join them. He isn't thinking about how excited she is to meet her friend, and how beneficial to their relationship it is for her to have the freedom, and how much of a loving person he would be in her eyes if he instead would tell her "Aww, how nice, I know you haven't seen her in months. Have fun! I cooked dinner, but I'll save you some for when you come home. It's your favourite xx"
Feet on the table, eat in front of the TV, or go out and shoot some pool with a mate. Spend your time on the quality of thinking that will make you a better version of yourself. Tell yourself that the girls that rejects you just isn't ready to experience how great you are. Tell yourself that you're proud of every little thing you achieve, and never focus on what you're lacking or that you haven't come far enough.
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>>16485554
Thanks anon, you're a real bro.

I have heard 'Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty' by Mark Manson is a good book about this, would you recommend it?

>>16485530
It's actually more complicated than that, but it serves its purpose for this thread.
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>>16485471
Have same situation as OP, Real helpful information, ty
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>>16485664
>>16486051
No problem, guys. That's why I'm here.

I haven't heard of Mark Manson.
I've been doing a lot of research on the subject recently, and a lot of people seem to praise Coach Cory Wayne. I've seen a lot of his email response videos on youtube, but I haven't read the book myself yet.
Thread posts: 13
Thread images: 2


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