The girl I've been in love with and dating for the last

>I love her too much
That's your problem. She knows that and is playing you like a toy. If she truly loved you she wouldn't try to change you.

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>>16481455
I need to change though and I deserve to be played if I wanna stay with her. I was shitty and didn't see how much it was effecting her.

>>16481464
Get some self esteem dude. Girls want men, not boys who can be controlled. She'll leave you anyway once she stops having fun manipulating you.

>>16481464
What did you do? And be honest

>>16481486
We're lesbians...

>>16481492
Jesus fuck, then write that in the OP and don't magically expect me to know that you're a homo over the internet. Fuck.

>>16481491
I've been on medication that makes my hormones all whacky but I need the meds severely. Before I started taking them I made her promise that we would work through any crazy mood swings and we wouldn't let it destroy us if they got particularly bad.

Ever since she went back to school and I've been able to see her every two weeks if I'm lucky rather than every day, it's taken a huge toll on my emotions. I've said a lot of really shitty things while in the middle of my mood swings that I didn't mean, the worst of which being "I don't love you any more" and "I want this to end." But they were cries for help that I need her to be nurturing me because of how much I struggle not being able to see her regularly and how much I desired emotional tenderness and even though I explained that it was still taken a toll on her, understandably so. Even though I said those things I'd apologize endlessly for them when I'd return to a normal state of feelings after the mood swing, and they were never actually my feelings. The other night she said those same things to me, but they were her real feelings.

I sat on the phone for 3 hours sobbing and begging for another chance because I didn't realize how bad it had gotten and she said a lot of things that stabbed at my heart. I haven't been to work all week, I haven't eaten, this shit is killing me.

And now here we are. The night it all went down she said my odds are like 1% if changing her mind. After coddling her lots and trying to show her I'm ready to be better for her and change she said my odds are 10% and then I verified again with her earlier today that they are higher but I didn't get a number.

This shit is destroying me I can't even function but I wanna be better for her so bad. I keep breaking down and crying like every 20 minutes and I feel awful.

I just want her to see how much I love her and that I can change and I feel like I could do more.

>>16481500
You deserve better than her. I'm sorry you're in such a shitty situation. And I mean that. You really do deserve someone who will be there for you even during these fucked up moments in your life. I don't want you to fix things with her, you need to work on yourself. I wish I could give you a hug or something right now, lady. Good luck

>>16481523
Everyone keeps telling me this but I still want her

>>16481500
Get the fuck out. This is emotional abuse.

Bumping for more opinions/responses

>>16481559
You mean an opinion/response that you want right? One that makes your gf seem like less of a piece of shit than she is? You're not going to get it because that would be a lie.

>>16481564
No one that answers my post. I don't care if people wanna shit talk her and I don't care if she's bad for me because I love her and know she's a good person.

The happiness of the partners we choose in life isn't our responsibility. Other people's joy in life isn't a project, rather we work on making ourselves happy. Our partners will be happy to see us happy. Give yourself a chance, learn to enjoy life, fill yourself up so you can overflow in giving to others.

I think your SO needs you to set boundaries. She might express that she wants you to make her happy, but there's no formula. Just be a better version of yourself. She might serve as a source of motivation, but you need to so it for yourself, first and foremost.

>>16481450
> I have one more chance to prove I can make her happy

No. Happiness wont come from relationships, it comes from herself. If she aint happy, its not up to you to fix that. Youre not her therapist.

>>16481599
much this.

may I ask how old you are?

When she said that, you knew you had already lost her. Face the truth, deal with it. Move on. Don't delude yourself.

>>16481630
I'm 20

>>16481639
honestly just be yourself, it's tempting to play all sorts of roles to make it work, especially around that age, cause you will have learned what works and there's not the foresight that you may have to hold on to that role for the rest of your life and such. but it won't work.

being extra sweet when she's been trough something bad is ok, being extra nice cause you have to prove yourself is going to backfire.

>This shit is destroying me I can't even function but I wanna be better for her so bad. I keep breaking down and crying like every 20 minutes and I feel awful.
you're allowing useless emotions to control you. If you need to be better for her, she apparently doesn't want you, she wants someone else and for you to become that someone else. it's not gonna happen.

either be your normal self and see how it goes or end it, I know it may seem like the end of the world. but come on you're 20, you can have several more times the same relationship before graduating college.

>>16481564
this happens a lot, he's not saying that to piss you off, actually ask yourself if you'd be able to take advise that you don't like.

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