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Depression

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Thread replies: 35
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It's coming back hard. Losing all my levels on Habitica. Feel behind with classes and housework. Meditation hasn't been happening enough.

I hate this.
>>
Only thing you can do is take things a step at a time.
And never forget to set aside time for yourself. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by stuff that doesn't matter.
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>>16475698
listen buddy/girl, with all the respect you deserve, let me tell you that depression isn't a real illness, the only damage you get is given by the action you take by yourself, decide to be better, to get over things, to be strong, start eating healthier, sleep long enough, try to do happy things and your mind will reward you with happiness, happiness and sadness are just mental statements conceived as a result for your own choises. Best wishes anon
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>>16475698
> I'm a lazy piece of shit tranny who should kill himself
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>>16475889
please be bait
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>>16475911
>implying depression isnt a result of poor choices that have become habit

shut the fuck up, get to the gym, eat better, read everyday and stop sitting around doing fuck all.
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Thanks for the wishes. I don't think I like myself today.
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I'll try to study myself better. Funny how hard that is, right? I'm feeling down partly because of how I look. Like I feel ugly today. But that's silly because I can't really help how I look. Why hate yourself over something like that?

God I'm dumb sometimes.
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>>16475916
I agree, but sometimes all your efforts in self improvement end in a failure cascade. Repeatedly.
>>
Put Habitica into survival mode. Gray out all Dailies not having to do with basic self-care (i.e. mark them as never being due). Mark your negative Habits as moot, and add a positive direction to any that don't already have one (so that the time you spend in survival mode won't count as "good" or "bad). When you are feeling better, you can undo these changes.

Why do this? Because Habitica can be a double-edged sword. Right now, your state of mind is not at a point where you can feasibly play at your full task set in an honest way. Your options at that point are to let the game beat you down even further, or to lie. The latter option will make your conscience beat you down as badly as the game does, though; maybe even worse. Either way pushes you away from the game, and with it, all those reminders you'd made to yourself of what needs done, so they don't get done. That just pushes you even further into the spiral.

The solution is to scale your playing back a few notches. This is not cheating, because you are not getting something for nothing: the bleeding stops, but your advancement slows dramatically. This makes it feasible to play the game honestly again, which draws you back into it. The reminders kick back in, and reinforcement does its thing. And when you eventually start feeling better, you can start climbing back up to where you were.

I had to do this myself, recently. I feel shame that I did so: I had to gray out some of my very first Dailies. But I AM relieved that I can once again play honestly at this reduced level, and I am starting the slow climb again. And as that happens, my mood is improving.
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>>16476150
This is really good advice, thank you. I may just rest at the inn. It seems easier than greying out all the dailies.
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>making yet another thread about how your life is shit

Just kill yourself, you stupid tranny fuck. Stop making these threads, /adv/ isn't your personal blog.
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>>16475889
go kill yourself. right now.
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>>16476223
you should kill yourself anon. world would be better off without you.
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>>16476223
If I kill myself things will only get worse lol :/
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>>16476258
Don't worry, I'm planning on it :^)

>>16476263
>things will only get worse

No, it would be better. All of your >tfw no bf problems would fade away.

Maybe you'll even be reincarnated as a real girl.
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>>16476323
It is possible I'll be reborn as a real girl, I guess. Maybe that's reason enough to do it. After my last attempt I'm afraid of failing. Can mean lots of suffering.
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>>16476338
Turn off the computer and do something with your life
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>>16476338
Do either pic related or shoot yourself in the head. Both of them are relatively painless and hard to fuck up.

How did you try to kill yourself last time?
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>>16475698
Remember the other day when I apologized for my posts? You told me how far you've come. You told me about the many obstacles you've passed and how you have a bright future with college.

Don't let it all go to waste because of a little bump on the road. Godspeed.
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>>16476361
I don't feel as though I can right now. It's no good lol.

>>16476365
Overdose with lots of different drugs and alcohol.

Anyway I'm not suicidal.
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>>16476375
Thanks :)

If I finish college I could get a job making a living wage and live alone in a quiet place with lots of books and quality foods.

This trans stuff is hard sometimes. I'm tired of not having friends or a real boyfriend. And I'm tired of sleeping with men that don't even like me. But I want to feel someone close.

Oh well.
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>>16476382
>Whines about life constantly
>Not suicidal

Honestly, what are you trying to accomplish when you make these threads?

I remember the first one you posted here. People tried to give you real advice on how to change your life for the better, but for some reason you're still here shitposting.

Since you sound like you don't want to change and just want to wallow in your suffering, why don't you just end it now and save yourself from years of depression.
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>>16476429
I think I'm just hoping to chat with people :)
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>>16476512
Then why don't you go to Tumblr? /adv/ wasn't made for chatting.

I think you would fit in better there anyway.
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Well maybe if you were less of a miserable holier then thou assfucker to people here and presumably IRL you'd be less depressed. How can you stand yourself when even the nicest forum on 4chan thinks your an insane asshole? Spend less time projecting your dissatisfaction with your life onto others and reflect on what you have. Question/reflect on why you spend so much time seeking attention online by being a jerk. Work on yourself and how you treat others and maybe you can form that real connection you crave with someone. You arent going to get it here, you've revealed yourself as toxic, but if you work on controlling the bitchy part of you, you can find comfort IRL, assuming you aren't addicted to 4chan and haven't already alienated yourself from everyone you know IRL.
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>>16476411
>I'm tired of not having friends or a real boyfriend

In due time. I also reccomend moving and starting all over in a different place once you're done with college.
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If I didn't already know you were transgender, I would have thought you were born a girl from how much fucking attention you need all the time, goddamn.

Shoo.
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>>16476543
You really think I'm a jerk? Maybe sometimes I use harsh language but I'm not so bad.

>>16476546
It feels like there's not much time left. Guess some of the absolute best people spent their lives alone. Maybe I should just embrace it.
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>>16476252
>>16475911
>>16476032
stop whining
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>>16476181
No; grey the dailies. That way the game can still hold you accountable for things like basic self-care.
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>>16476561
daaaamn
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>>16476663
The self care things are some of the ones killing me. Maybe that's a good thing and I should focus as hard as possible on those, I guess.

—__________________

So I'm trying to figure some stuff out. I've lost many of the most important people in my life. Like to death or other very tragic events. Compared to that most things seem like they shouldn't bother me much, or I shouldn't get carried away with them. Like right now I'm very upset over my physical appearance and worry that I'll never be able to actually pass. Is that as shallow as it feels?

If I were pretty maybe the trans thing wouldn't be such a big deal. But I feel disconnected from absolutely everyone else right now. It worries me that people here may not want to talk to me because they don't agree with my being trans. There's a big Christian population and who knows. A guy at work would pray before each meal he ate and I think he quit because I was there. I don't want to be someone that hurts or offends people just by existing.

So I just don't talk to anyone. Not that I'd be good at it otherwise. But now it all seems so far away. And I hate myself for it. I don't know how much longer I can live like this.
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Does anyone want to be my internet friend? :)
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>>16475698
I'm going to give you the best advise you'll ever get on 4chan. Don't come to 4chan for help or advise.
Thread posts: 35
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