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So I was on Tinder and started talking to a girl who has more

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So I was on Tinder and started talking to a girl who has more or less exactly the same interests as me, even studies the same (and we're talking pretty niche stuff here).

So she says "You could always teach me how to X", X being a simple cards game I happen to be good at. So I take this as a sign of interest, and reply something like "Yeah, sure, sounds like a challenge. How about next week?"

Silence ensued. I can get that she isn't interested after all, I've always been rather bad at interpreting signs, but is it wrong that I feel a little bit offended that she couldn't be bothered to say "No thanks" instead?

It just seems rude, y'know. I'd post the entire conversation, but it's not in English.
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How do the conversations go? That sounded like an invitation from her to me and I would've played the same hand as you.
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>>16474827
Women are never direct, they don't want to hurt your feelings so they'll leave it up to you to figure it out.

Anyway, just drop it OP. Don't get stuck on one girl and talk to as many as possible. I wouldn't unmatch her just yet though. Also, some women are on Tinder just for a confidence boost, and some just to ho around so don't take it personal.
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>>16474922
I'm obviously going to drop it, although I am considering going for the "You know, a simple "no thanks" would have been fine as well", just because.

>>16474880
I'll try to give in idea, no exact formulations though.
>me: so what are your hobbies?
>her: reading, drawing, all kinds of indoor stuff
>me: "oh you seem like a pretty laid-back person, that's nice" (most people in my field of study are these ultra sporty outdoors types)
>her: "yeah, you too then?"
>me: Yeah, i enjoy playing cards, and cooking and *insert other indoor stuff*
>her: Oh, you can always teach me how to play cards (I think it's "whist" in English) if you know that game :D"
>me: yeah sure, I'm a decent player haha.
>her: "Yeah, my family tried teaching me but it wasn't a big hit"
>me: "Well, seems like a challenge"
>her: "I think will be haha"
>me: "Accepted, wanna meet up next week?"

Lots of smileys, and interaction, which I interpreted as interest on her part. I do not know where I went wrong, but ah well. No biggie.
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>>16474880
Anyway, the fact that she's not interested isn't a problem, it's her life and all that, but she could've been a bit nicer about it and I'm slightly pissed off. Wanted to know if that's normal.
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could be a lot of reasons, to me it sounds more like a sign of interest for meeting somewhere in the future than to meet directly. Also I've never dated someone directly from tinder, always fb or whatsapp first.

I think I'd have said something like "haha sounds like a plan, btw let's talk on whatsapp, my number is ....."
then after chatting a bit go like "hey how'd you like to have a drink, I could show you the card game"
then if she agrees (it's yes or no, not i'm busy when you've not specified a day) specify when.

but then again if she's interested, you don't just blow it with one wrong message.Probably she's either dating someone else and felt like quitting the T-game or she's just not been on tinder or something.
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>>16474993
It's possible she hasn't been on tinder, it's not been that long, but the fact she responded much sooner before suggest otherwise ofcourse.

I could've been less direct, probably, but I noticed interest and I went for it. She could be dating someone else, also possible, but then again she could've just said that. I'd be okay with it.
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>>16474993
shamelessly samefagging here:
>>16474974
you were going right, but that's way too short of a conversation too ask her out, especially if you propose to meet her next week. like you expect to plan a date way further ahead than the time you've known her...

also what do you know about her? that she plays indoor games? says fuck all about her personality, you could waste a whole evening on a planned date with with very little sign of getting along. As I said in my previous post, this would be the time(and still early for that) to invite her to whatsapp.

how long you chat before meeting kinda depends on how much "investment" a date would be. if she lives like 100 meters away, it makes sense to just say "can i come over to borrow a cup of sugar ;)" the same day. but if it takes travel, planning ahead and maybe even spending money on an activity, then you don't want to be too eager.

don't worry though, it just takes a while to get the hang of it.
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Any advice on how to start tinder conversations? I have like 80 matches but I haven;t tried talking to them
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>>16475003
>I could've been less direct, probably, but I noticed interest and I went for it.
good, but "going for it" could consist of upgrading her from tindergirl to whatsappgirl or fbgirl. irl is two steps ahead of that.
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>>16475007
The conversation was a bit longer before that with some talk about our study subjects, but okay. We study the same subject at the same college, only a different year, so I thought it was okay. Thanks for the insight either way.

Fuck whatsapp btw, what's wrong with texting?

>>16475010

I obviously suck at this, but I always go for whatever tickles my fancy in her profile. For this one it was the fact that we're studying the same, but usually I'll comment on whatever makes that person different. Could be a tattoo, or w/e. The hardest part for me is the follow-up. I'll be like "Hey nice tat", she'll reply "Thanks" and then I usually don't reply anymore. :p
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>>16475011
I should also say I'm bad at facebook. I practically never press the "lik" button, and I usually hate it when someone starts talking to me and I can't fake not seeing it for a couple of minutes while I figure out my approach.

Irl first, then facebook. That's kind of my rule.
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Isn't this the third thread you did about it?
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>>16475064

No idea what you're talking about, this is my first thread on this subject. I'm not even looking for actual tinder advice or w/e, just a bit confused whether my "Well, that's rude" reaction is at all justified.
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>>16474827

Twf pussy game isn't on point
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>>16475077
The struggle is real. I sometimes wish I'd been born in a time when arranged marriage was still a thing for civilized people too.
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>>16474974
I think the problem is that you went 0-100 real quick with a girl who's probably not a slut

It's not a bad approach, just doesn't work with everyone
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>>16475104
It's just a date, though.

When you meet a girl irl, everybody always says that you should "just" ask them out, and then get to know them at the date. There's only so much I can learn about another person by chatting. Why not take 15 mins, see what they're like for real?

I wasn't gonna show up with a condom around my rock-hard dick or something.
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>>16475113
because IRL you'd have a conversation of more than 15 mins before asking out too. like the
you converse a bit longer via chat because it happens slower, you may've spent 15 mins chatting but the amount of contact here is the equivalent of two minutes irl most (just read the conversation out loud, see how quick that was and you'll understand.
to plan a week ahead and keep an entire evening free to meet (at home?!? always meet on neutral terrain!) is quite an investment for someone you know nothing about.
next time just move her to whatsapp, ask her a bit about what makes her find that stuff interesting, what makes her the kind of person to be into whatever makes her find that stuff interesting and such and such....

don't worry though, there's plenty more chicks, you know how to start a good conversation which is good and who knows she might still reply.
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>>16475147
I actually suggested meeting up for a drink, I'm not retarded.

But yeah, plenty of fish in the sea, no biggie, etc.. the sudden silence instead of a "Nah thanks" just pissed me off a little.
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>>16475156
>>16475147

And just when I typed this, a random girl initiated contact on tinder (doesn't happen often, that's for sure). The hunt reopens.
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>>16475113
talking to someone IRL is totally different from tinder. IRL you can learn a lot about the person without him/her saying anything. For texting, they can't do that, they don't know anything about you. It's weird to think someone accepting a date with a phone screen 5 seconds in. For all she knows, you could be a serial killer.

To be honest, this just matters for being a social person in general. When you find someone who's meant to you, none of these rules matter. The biggest success I had in Tinder, I didn't even said anything badass. I changed my bio to something that the type of girl I was trying to attract would like. I found a girl who I knew that had a lot in common with me, and just said "hey I'm also virgo, are you also extremely cautious with absolutely everything?". I wasn't even trying to get a date, but she replied like 10 lines of text about how much she wanted to hug me because of my bio and things escalated from there
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>>16475169
I read the second part of your post as "Girls are irrational dumb creatures", but that probably wasn't what you were trying to say.
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>>16475191
I mean that you don't have to follow rules to talk to girls. There's always someone who's going to like you the way you are right now. Just be yourself
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>>16475197
Yeah sure, I'm not gonna resort to PUA shit or anything.

I'm just inexperienced, shy, and possibly autistic, but if a girl can't deal with that then why would I want to be with her anyway.

It just pisses me off that there's no room for simple politeness or decency, even if there is no (more) interest. I guess that's too much to ask for on an app like Tinder, but still.
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>>16475209
There is, it's just that this girl was a cunt. Why bother with her in that case? Try a different thing on the next one, and see if you can learn anything
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>>16474827
Women are strange like that. They don't say "no thanks" like that.
Anyway, sounds like you were fine. I'd have played the same hand.
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OP here, girl just replied:
>"I'll have to check my class schedule"

Kinda odd since first years have like 7 3-hour classes a week lol. Any insight, friendly anons?

Kinda odd sinc
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>>16476212
How is that odd?
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>>16476219
I forgot to add she said she to check because the profs often cancel classes.

But I just thought maybe she's not in a dorm and she travels to college for every class, I am retarded lol.

Anyway, suggestions on how to play this hand from now?
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>>16476229
She probably means:
>i may have time but lets talk some more first.

Dude, just talk a bit more, try to get to know her a bit better, you were just a bit early and she's interested but not convinced yet!

If a girl would ask me out after this short a convo(and yes that stuff has happened to me) i'd say exactly the same. Just keep talking, if you get her talking a bit more personal she'll probably pick a date by the weekend, she seems serious and the signs are good!
Thread posts: 31
Thread images: 1


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