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introvert vs./dating extrovert

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Hi, anons!
I'm a 20y/o femanon and my boyfriend of 5 months is 24y/o. We are radically different people:

Me:
>introvert who likes to spend time at home alone (go out with maybe 2 friends 3 times a month watching movies, etc)
>have only 2 people I really consider friends and a handful of other aquaintances
>am deeply nerdy and intellectual
>am not close with my family at all so I have no family life
>poor immigrant family
>spend most of my time at work/school/home
>quiet

My boyfriend:
>is extremely extroverted and outgoing
>confident and assertive
>has a lot of friends who he spends time with
>is the opposite of nerdy
>has a very active social media life
>comes from a white middle-class family
>is really close with his family

He is very loving and caring. He tells me he appreciates me, but we've only been dating for 5 months so we are still in our honeymood phase.
He goes out to drink at bars and at parties without me (I live in the US, I can't drink yet). His facebook is filled with pictures of him and friends. It sounds terrible but I honestly feel so worthless whenever he tells me he's out drinking with his friends and I'm just home on my computer. He will ask me if I'm doing anything fun for the weekend and I tell him that I'll be home, usually. My facebook is pretty much unused. He wants to meet my family but I'm not even close to them. It would be uncomfortable as it is having dinner with them without my boyfriend. My friends are really different from him. We don't party and are pretty mellow. I feel like I can't offer him anything other than myself.
We are just dating and get along well, but when it comes to meeting friends and family, I just DREAD it.

The thing is that I'm happy with the way I am, the nerdy parts and all. It's just that I feel worthless when I compare my social life to his. Has anyone ever experienced this? It's giving me so much stress. I am also inexperienced in dating, having only dated someone else for 7months before him. Thanks!
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>>16473727
Did you stop for a second to think that there's a reason why he's with you? Why do you have to complicate things? Why are you making a problem where there is none?

Women, I swear to God
>>
>>16473727
>I feel like I can't offer him anything other than myself.

Yourself IS all you have to offer, it's all anyone has to offer, and that's wonderful! He's with YOU because YOU is what he wants.
>>
>>16473758
I can control my actions (I'm very sweet to him and I haven't told him that this has been bothering me) but I can't control my emotions. Do you think I choose to feel this way?

This has been really stressing me out lately. What can I do to stop feeling this way?
>>
your lifelong insecurities have nothing to do with your relationship
>>
>>16473775
I've never been in a relationship where friends (all friends) and family were introduced. How important are friends and family in a relationship?
>>
>>16473727

What exactly is it that you're worried about?

Is it anxiety that he might meet someone else while he's out?
Is it jealousy that he's more social than you?
Is it an inferiority complex about your own situation?

After 5 months, maybe he doesn't know you fully yet, and maybe you're still in the honeymoon phase, but by now he has a pretty good idea of who you are and what you're like.

If it was a problem, your relationship probably would have been long over by now.

As for your parents, just explain, you aren't close to your family, that the idea of seeing them at all kind of gives you anxiety.
>>
>>16473779
But how do I stop feeling this way? Any tips? Or is this something only a therapist can fix?
>>
>>16473809

You're 20, so not important at all (unless you live with them). It might be quite important to him, in which case, meet his parents. Everything you typed out in the OP about your parents? SAY THAT TO HIM.
He will understand that, if you don't talk to your parents, why the hell would he want to talk to them?
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>>16473814
>Or is this something only a therapist can fix?

Sadly, only you can fix it. It takes deep thought and introspection (therapist could help here, so could mediation, psychedelic drugs, some other activity). Activities can help you get there, but ultimately it takes you making an effort to understand your own behaviors and feelings, determine what causes them, and try to overcome it.
>>
>>16473814
You see it all the time here in /adv/. A common example is when one person in the relationship is hot shit with their career or social life or whatever, and the other person feels like an inferior "loser" because he/she lacks that. But that doesn't matter; these people are dating anyways. They do it because they see the good in each other and that lets them connect.

You just need more self-confidence. Therapy can help. Find ways to increase your own sense of self-worth. Learn a new hobby. Spend time doing something new. Try not to sit at home every day. Do things so you have a story to tell too. Maybe extracurricular stuff at school. But yeah this is your own thing, so do something for yourself so it doesn't affect your relationship down the line.
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>>16473813
>Is it anxiety that he might meet someone else while he's out?
He does go out drinking with his female friends and gets drunk. His group is made of both guys and girls. On fb he has pictures of him at bars with other girls. I honestly thought until now that my answer to this question was no, but I'm getting teary writing so I do have anxiety he will meet someone else.

>Is it jealousy that he's more social than you?
Not really

>Is it an inferiority complex about your own situation?
Yes, this definitely. I've always had inferiority complex as far as I can remember. It's gotten better since hs but it's still there. Idk how to get rid of it..

>After 5 months, maybe he doesn't know you fully yet, and maybe you're still in the honeymoon phase, but by now he has a pretty good idea of who you are and what you're like.
>If it was a problem, your relationship probably would have been long over by now.
Idk, I mean people ignore major signs while they're in the honeymoon phase

>As for your parents, just explain, you aren't close to your family, that the idea of seeing them at all kind of gives you anxiety.
Okay, I'll definitely tell him this! Thanks!
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>>16473850
>Idk, I mean people ignore major signs while they're in the honeymoon phase

But this isn't a sign, big or small, this is an entire LIFESTYLE. There's absolutely no way he doesn't know that you're introverted aren't the partying socialite type.

Like I said, if this was a deal breaker for him, he wouldn't have even dated you past a few weeks because you just wouldn't have been his type.


Talk with him.

If anything's going to tank this relationship, it's you bottling it all up until it you're insecurities cause you to explode. Talk to him now, and he'll either be able to help you manage and deal with it, and you'll get over it, or he won't and you won't, but at least that explosion will be lessened when it happens.
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>>16473727
this is me pretty much
>be asian, an artist, geeky/nerdy, academic, reserved/polite, never done drugs or smoke (even drinking is rare for me); have that "innocent good girl" look, living in canadian beverly hills
>bf is white, works at a night club, he parties hard and until he's wasted, super social, kinda rough/aggressive to people, loves sports, likes movies and reading (crime/gangster genre stuff usually), tatted all over, blazes (and snorts coke occasionally), has that thuggish/ghetto look, living in canadian detroit lol

i overheard him talk about me to his friends at a small drinking party he invited me to. in his words: "she's different; she doesn't go clubbing every friday night. she's usually at home painting or doing school work. i can't respect club sluts." which made me feel loads better about my friday nights. he also appreciates me listening to him complain about stuff without judging him, and making him feel loved, special, and wanted. i found that out from complimenting him on specific things i liked about him, and he started telling me what he liked about me too.

he has also yet to meet my family and friends (and he really wants to meet them), which consist of some really up-tight, sheltered, nerdy, awkward and judgemental people. i've already warned him about them, but he still wants to meet them and "win their approval." i still dread what might happen, but at least i know he's going to try to like them.
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