Hey /adv/ How do I go about being more confident about myself

>>16469890

Has it occurred to you that the whole "unattainable" thing she's got going on can actually make a person very lonely? Has it occurred to you that she probably just wants someone to talk to and have fun with, and not a "perfect" boyfriend to fit the rest of her "perfect" resume? Has it occurred to you that this kind of insecurity can easily wreck a relationship, and the only real problem is that you think she's awesome? That's pretty stupid. Just get over it. If she says she wants to be with you, and you want to be with her, don't wreck it by over-thinking it.

>>16469921
Op, this is good advice.

>>16469921
It has, which is why I don't let it be an issue in our relationship, and do my best to enable her to do succeed even more. I convinced her to join my social group to make a few connections with the graduate students, and do my best to support her in what ways I can.
She sees me as "perfect" to her, and I consider myself extremely lucky every day.

It just bothers me and myself only that I don't feel...worthy sometimes.

Thanks for your advice, but I definitely do try to suck it up and get over it, which hasn't worked out as much.

>>16469957
I realize that, and fully intend to "get over it." Just...how to do so?

Honestly OP, if you want to be able to intimidate even 200kg bear-mode people, do the following.

>Get addicted to cigs
>Smoke a whole lot
>Try to stop for 4 days
>On day 2/3/4 You'll start talking very mature, annoyed, domination, extravert, notcaringaboutanysocialanxieties

>>16469977

You must have some general self-esteem problems, because it's clear that you're an intelligent, motivated person capable of success. You're in a top-10 research program and you "excel at research and projects." You are going to be fucking fine. At this point, comparing GPAs just splitting hairs. You're in the same league, intellectually and socially. It's not like you're the guy who washes the dishes in the cafeteria. Stop obsessing about this dumb shit.

I don't even like typing this shit out, because it just feels like you're fishing for compliments. If you REALLY have inadequacy issues with all the positive shit you have going on in your life, see a shrink because that shit has to be pathological

>>16469986
I'm, in most cases, already those things. Dominant in social groups, very logical and level-headed (gf says its a huge relief), and I'm of decent fitness.

But around her (and this is kind of our dynamic, which she very much prefers) I'm a little more submissive and support.

>>16470002
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be fishing for compliments at all. I do have a bit of an inferiority complex around my peers.
(technically, I am the guy who cleans up the lab, and over the summer, cleans the rooms) but that's beside the point.

I do realise that there's nearly nothing to demean myself, and it is an issue, which is why I asked here. If it was something like me actually being much out of her league, then I would work on that myself, but I really shouldn't have anything to worry about, but here I am.

>>16470002

This. I'm usually not one to cry "first world problems!" but this thread is literally:

>Dear /adv/, I have a perfect life, and a perfect girlfriend with a perfect life, and sometimes I wonder if I deserve all of this. Help me!

Maybe these feelings exist because you have NO OTHER PROBLEMS, and it is a basic human need to worry and complain, so you've just invented a problem. Just enjoy this shit while it lasts, stop wondering if you deserve it, because soon enough life will throw some real problems your way, and all of this will be out of your mind.

>>16470024
Okay sorry, I'll be going now
Thanks for reframing things for me

>>16470032

It's actually good advice, even if phrased a bit dickishly. As he said, it's a human need to worry and complain, so when everything seems to be going TOO smoothly, you'll start getting paranoid and waiting for something to go wrong. That's where you're at now. It's normal. There's nothing we can say to help you with it, just do your best to ignore it and don't let it affect your relationship.