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Before I lost weight I was 360lbs and generally happy with myself

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Before I lost weight I was 360lbs and generally happy with myself and my life. Didn't really care what others thought. Knew I was fat, but wasn't ready to change, etc. Now I'm currently 175 and I've had so much fucking stress from losing weight. All I ever think about is my looks and how ugly I think I am. I lost weight really quick and my body is flabby and disgusting. My face is also really ugly. With clothes on I don't think I'm that bad, but my face is still ugly and if I ever took off my clothes, people would think I'm a freak. I'm trying to get to 160lbs, but my weight loss has stalled and I'm constantly changing from 178-182. I try and try, but I am weak and always give into temptation. I'm living with my grandma and I literally just threw out a shit ton of food just so I don't touch it. I did this before when I was living at home. This is also fucked up because my family is poor so I'm wasting limited food. I also try to be strict with my calories, but sometimes fail and end up needing to starve myself for a bit. I have 1000 calories left for tomorrow and the next day because I couldn't help myself and ate some sweets which are really calorie dense. I just hate everything about myself and wish I could just be happy. Anyone have a similar experience? I'd love some advice or whatever.
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Anon you should be proud of yourself for going as far as you have to lose weight. You literally weigh half as much as you did. So cheer up, you are living your life for the better.
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>>16467538
Thanks a lot honestly. My main issue is that I can only seem to focus on my looks. I'm not even a social person or am even trying to date right now, but I still obsess over it. The person I see in the mirror makes me hate myself and leaves me depressed and doing stupid stuff that I know is wrong, but I can't help. I acknowledge that I'm healthy weight for my age, height and whatnot, but I don't actually feel good about it. Not trying to be negative, but it's just how I feel. I've thought of seeing a counselor or something, but I dunno.
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>>16467614
You can curse your younger self for that, but you learned it was bad and have changed so much. Leave your past behind and keep stiving towards your future goals.
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>>16467614
Maybe you need a hobby or something, find a passion. Some good friends go a long way too. But everyone has their own problems and you arnt alone. Hang in there op.
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Losing that much weigh does sound like a bitch. You probably associate it with bad shit and unfun stuff.

Maybe try some new and different physical activities, like rockclimbing or hiking or surfing or whatever you desire. These are things the obese can't really do.

You'd keep losing weight by staying active and watching calories, but also have the side effect of having fun once in a while. It sounds like you just need to learn how to have fun with your newfound body.
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I really feel you anon... Are you m or f?
I'm in a similar situation. I've always had problems with my weight and last year i have put on 40!!! Pounds... I try so hard to get it off again. I go jogging every workday and i try to keep my portions small, no snacking, balanced meals... Butbi feel fucking disgusting. I recently startet dating somebody and i'm actually freakinh out about the tought of them seeing me naked... On top of that i compulsively pick my skin. It's so gross, i wish i could just stop eating and picking. I know i should but somehow it always gets the best of me. I don't really have that much advice for you, but i'm in counceling and my doc told me to just focus on keeping the periods i don't give in a tiny bit longer every time in order to train my selfcontrole. And not to beat myselfe up after i failed, but instead get up and start again. I'm somewhat proud of me this morning, i ate way too much chocolate yesterday evening, but today i picked my fat ass up and went for a jogg. About the flabby body... Well, mine is too. And i don't know what to do. I guess i will just have to deal with it somehow. Good luck anon...
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>>16467637
Not op, but i'm way to insecure and embarassed to do these things. I just don't feel at home in my body and doing "fun" sporty things with others just makes me cringe so much. For example, i'm embarassed to death if i start to loose my breath or break a sweat before anybody else. I feel like a massive failure. I know that's stupid and nobody cares about it, but i can't help it.
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Gain weight, than turn it to muscle. stop throwing away food, instead learn when to put down the fork. you will look better and not be a douche for wasting food. also go get that food back, your poor. You should know better
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>>16467666
When I'm worried about stupid shit like my hair or how I look doing something(perhaps stupid, challenging, or otherwise) or how I sound or look speaking to people in public(in front of crowds) I try to remind myself how I look at everyone else. I'm pretty laid back and I don't go out and start pointing fingers. When someone else is running or speaking I don't look at them super critical, they're just people. I never go around staring down peoples hair or how they look. I like to think other people are the same way. This approach helps me a lot for what its worth.
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>>16467531
You need to find some other hobbies. It sounds like food made you really happy and so that is why you keep going back to it.

Obsessing over your look isn't good, but being 300+ pounds is bad for your health, you don't want to go back.
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sounds like you need a jogging buddy who doesn't judge people. if you're around los angeles i'm your man fa/m/
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>>16467654
Thanks for sharing. I'm male and yeah it sucks. I'm trying to change my mindset on food and I was gonna go jogging yesterday, but of course it fucking rained making it pretty much impossible.
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Update: I weighed myself and went from 174 my lowest weight ever back to 179. My week was going really good, but it's always towards the end of the week that my family (grandma now) brings some treat that I can't help but eat, which is why I throw away food which is stupid, but I don't know what to do. I'm limiting myself to 1000 calories a day plus an hour of gym a day. I fucking hate myself.
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>>16468526
You shouldn't have to feel like you need to sit at one extreme or the other... Being 300+ pounds is no good but starving yourself and guilt tripping yourself over eating some sweets isn't necessary either. I usually keep my diet on point all throughout my workweek, and then on the weekends I'll have something sweet or less healthy, or not count calories for a day and visit my favorite buffet, etc. I recently lost weight too (not as much as you), but now I'm happy to just be hovering at a weight 20 lbs less than I was a few months ago.
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>>16468630
Congrats, that's good to hear. The problem is that I overeat the sweets, so I need to work on that. Like I said I was doing well, but just in like 2 days I lost all progress from the gym and dieting and gained 5 pounds. That's not healthy at all. I try to just avoid sweets but my family keeps buying them cuz they're all fat and my grandma is the stereotypical grandma that wants her grandkids to eat a lot. I literally can't tell her to not get junk because she only speaks Spanish and I only speak English. I can't explain that I don't want/need treats and she gets them for me cuz she eats natural foods. It's frustrating right now, but yeah I dunno
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