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So this will be a long read, but bear with me. >be me, 27

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So this will be a long read, but bear with me.

>be me, 27
>been single for 6 years, full abstinence
>start dating this girl i've known a few months
>she lives a few towns away
>just mutual friends until then
>things are going great
>3rd date, we both are having a great time
>lay my arm around her
>things quickly take off, she takes the initiative
>we end up at my place making out
>starts touching my junk, leads me to finger her
>i get nervous, lose boner, but play it cool
>she doesn't mind and goes on
>asks if i have a condom
>tell her it might be better this way because it's been a long time for me
>we stop it and she gets dressed, leaves
>no goodbye kiss


>next day
>we meet up with some friends to have some drinks
>good times, i leave her some distance
>later, try to get in contact with her
>she's somewhat shy at first, but finally ends up kissing me in front of our friends
>three days later
>can't get her out of my head, can't think straight at work, constantly distracted
>decide to message her, telling her i'm constantly thinking about her
>no reply
>i call her later, setting up our next date
>tell her I hope i haven't overrun her with my message
>"what message? ...oh no, it's fine."

>next weekend, we meet again
>go to a museum, then go to a bar
>try to make some contact, putting my arm around her
>she doesn't refuse
>end up watching a movie at her place
>cuddle on the couch, dancing fingertips and such
>both just watching the movie, nothing more
>I stay at her place overnight, no more fondling though
>next morning, we go get breakfast in a cafe
>we have a good talk, everything's ok (?)
>she says goodbye to me at the subway
>just a hug when i try to kiss her
>maybe i was too vague

>same day, in the evening
>i call her and ask if everything's alright?
>"what do you mean?"
>tell her she seemed kinda unresponsive to my approaches and after what happened the weekend before
>she's glad i bring it up and explains that she wasn't thinking about how her pace would be too fast for someone else
>says she was just really tired, but that she's very comfortable with me but doesn't wanna declare anything more definite at this time
>tell her it's fine and that I also like her very much
>we settle to just go along and see how things are going
>I feel like having built a wall between us, kinda awkward

>a few days later
>I'm really confused now. fireworks are still going off in my head
>don't wanna seem clingy, so i start to think really hard about the right time to contact her
>try to call her, she's not available
>messages me she's out with a friend, but suggests having a call the next day
>next day, we just talk about the week and different thinks
>don't bring up the weekend because i don't want to pressure her
>weeks earlier, we had marked to go to a funfair on saturday, but didn't talk about it again
>two days later, friday
>call her at noon, asking if she's got plans for the weekend
>"I thought we were going to the funfair, anon. you remember?"
>"oh, sure. great. then see you tomorrow."

>we end up going there together with two other female friends
>it's very crowdy and tiring, we end up just moving through the masses most of the time
>she still enjoys it, though she dislikes crowded places
>we split up at the train station, everybody goes home on their own
>for the next days, I'm in pure terror
>constantly talking to all kinds of people asking for advice
>I wanna see her but don't want to seem desperate
>keep pondering about what to do and when to contact her
>set it up to be near her on wednesday, the current week
>give her a call and tell her i'm near, ask if she'd like to meet up for a drink
>she's really responsive: "sure thing, I'll be there in 15"
>have a good time for an hour or so
>she mentions she's out with friends on friday, I'm occupied on saturday
>say goodbye, don't talk about when we'll see eachother again
>next morning, she texts me and tells me how glad she was that we got to meet up so spontaneous and how much she enjoyed it
>I plan to call her on saturday to ask if she likes to meet on sunday
>don't call her bc of insecurity, I'm running in circles screaming at the wall, being angry at myself for making such a fuss out of it.
>go to a friend to talk about it
>he tells me to leave it for a few days more, and see if she calls
>I'm really torn, not knowing what to do
>decide to give her a call on sunday

>be sunday (today)
>i was at a family meetup, came home about 6pm
>dad calls
>tell him also about my concerns and not knowing what to do
>he also tells me to wait and see if she'll get in touch
>i don't even know why i'm asking my dad about this
>i kill my time on the interwebs, mind still spinning
>read up articles about dating habits
>decide to call her anyway to just show interest, ask about her weekend and such
>see it's nearly 10pm, she's already asleep, too late to call her
>get enraged about myself again
>drive around town to calm myself down
>it doesn't work
>decide to text her and see if she's still awake
>it's 10:30, she doesn't respond

So I will text her tomorrow and give her a call in the afternoon when she's home. It's been 5 days since we last met or texted.

Tell me /adv/, did I fuck up already?
I really wanna get closer with her, but feel like I'm too clingy already in my head.
What do you think of her behavior? Am I just over-analyzing or is there something wrong? Or am I just going crazy over nothing?
How can I calm myself from overthinking this?
anybody here?
Include a tl;dr, i'm not reading all that wall of text only to find it's self-pity or blatantly obvious.
Just b urself man lmao it works for me
>tfw you see your GoT waifu
alright. i climbed your wall of text.

first of all. stop being afraid. if it doesn't work it doesn't.
go with the flow. don't get on her nerves (think about what behaviour annoys you and avoid it. i.e.: someone calls you in the night, texts you, and re-calls in the morning. morning sms may be ok though)

in general: go with the flow; don't be afraid.
if it doesn't work out: learn from your failure and restart with another 2nd player
>did I fuck up already?
i would argue you did not fuck up it is just her that is as far as i can tell not (that) interested. She has a strange way of communicating though.

i recommend a full retreat.

Met a girl, we made out. I fell in love but she's not sure yet.
I'm going crazy about wanting to distract myself from overthinking everything and proceeding things by being proactive.
>what do?
>strange way of communicating
I kinda feel like she's very responsive when we're alone but dislikes showing this in public (unless she's drunk).

>full retreat
why exactly? you mean like really getting out of contact and waiting for her to make the next move?
Ya kno what fagget? I took a rime to actually read all this fucing bullshit. And I see that urra massive cunt.

Are you a fucking creep or what?! I feel sorry for that girl. Whats next? Stalking her? Sniffing her undies? Daydreaming about raping her dead body after you cut her throat when she said "no" to you?!

Fucking shitstain! Poor girl, she has to deal with such a faggotry. This is why they run to guys like me, they're scared. They're just scared of creeps like you and they need to feel safe.
dude, just ask her out somewhere where its just the two of you. that or just get drunk as fuck and end up fucking her.

stop this dumb shit going out with her and her friends or whatever. DO something
>>16466010 >>16465882

what this guy said sounds ok.. just dont stress out so much about it. ask her to go somewhere with you.. fuck all that crap about waiting to see if she shows interest. you want it, you need to get it. if it doesnt work, youll know you tried at least.
You came off as too beta and killed her initial attraction.

I feel sorry for you OP. It seems you might be suffering from mild avoidancy. Six years of no sex can do that to a man. Not that I'd know, but I get weirded out after 3 months without sex.

The first thing you really need to stop doing is asking women if everything is ok? "Are we fine?" "Should I be worries about us?" Stuff like that. If she isn't already thinking about your insecurity, she will certainly be reminded about it by you bringing it up. Your new rule should be that if you don't want her to be thinking about a certain subject, you don't mention it. Don't say sorry for being weird. Just act as un-weird as possible.

Secondly, don't worry about where things are going. If the though appears, consider it a reminder that you should be accumulating better quality of thoughts.

If you sent her a text tonight, don't be planning to send her another before she gets a chance to respond. If she doesn't give it a few days, so you can collect yourself, and reach out to her when you're coming from a better place. This woman obviously likes you. Women don't go on dates or gets fingered by guys they don't like. But they need the guy to be a man, not some uncertain boychild. Stop sweating and just be a great guy. You've already shown her you can be.

Buy condoms ffs. I always carry condoms, even if I'm just going to the store. You never know.

And when you got a naked women in bed, don't rush anything. Just take your time and enjoy it. Remember, it's not something you have to deliver, it's something the both of you are doing together.

And one last thing, don't look for her approval or confirmation for how you want to feel. Just feel great whenever she's around, because that's where she wants to be, and you already got what you wanted. If you show her that you're having a great time, she'll want to stick around more. The neediness you're disclosing in the OP, is not something you want to show her. Get over it, and be golden.
Seems like you kinda fucked up.
Have a condom next time. She probably thinks you want to nut in her and leave her with the kid.
Thread posts: 21
Thread images: 2

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