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Subday morning. Thinking about ex.

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She lost her feelings for me after being long distance for a while. We were together 2 years. We ended it recently and i cant stop thinking about her, but ive accepted that i need to move on.

No matter how hard i try my mind wont stop. Im stuck in all these thoughts of what i could have done better etc, and mostly thoughts of what is she thinking... Did she ever really love me at all?

There was a time she told me i was her world. "I cant picture being with anyone else, give me your babies anon please!", now i dont even get a hello. Does she hate me? Did she ever feel love? Why would she say those things if she apparenty doesnt even THINK about me anymore? I understand "things and people change" but we never even broke up because of a fight but because of distance. Why is it that those intense feelings of love she had are gone and replaced with completely nothing?
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Would really appreciate any insight or anything, if anyone here was in a relationship where they told the other they loved them unconditionally, and then when they broke up they never messaged that person again.
Is it because you want to move on?
Is it hard to be friends?
Or do you simply get bored or annoyed talking to them?

It just hurts thinking shell think of me randomly and just think "meh" and do something else.
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Bump ok maybe i shouldnt be trying to think whats in her head
But how the fuck do i move on
I cant tinder for shit and im shy, meeting a girl like her was a once in a 5 year thing for me, yet she most likely is with some guy... And i was her first boyfriend...
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Fuck it. Cant delete the post but.. Was wondering if i should message her to try and get more closure. I wont. Fuck it. I called a buddy to go to his place and hang out and watch football (i dont like football but they do). Time to get my mind off things.
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it's normal to think about your ex since you are heartbroken

don't beat yourself for it, accept that this is going to happen for a while and you don't have much control about it, you will probably move on faster that way
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Yea i just woke up dreaming about my gf.
They say its normal and to stay away
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Oh buddy I'm sorry
I actually broke up with mine some time ago cause of long distance, she was very special to me and I'd like to think I was to her, and with the breakup I knew she wouldn't contact me again.
Honestly, it sucks thinking how she's out there having the time of her life studying knowing new people partying while here I am waiting, and the best conclusion I've got so far is that people are everything and you should always pursue to meetup with someone even if you know it'll be boring, just because the alternative of being alone with your thoughts might very well be worse.
Try to keep your mind busy, get a job, study somethin, go out, really anything. The best route is just cut all ties, delete her from your phone, delete them qt pics that make you miss her, just go full eternal sunshine on that shit. You'll find stuff to do, you'll meet new people, with time and alot of depressing thoughts you'll get over it. just really, avoid anything reminding you of her and keep up with life, that's what the book says, there ain no other way man.
Best of luck to you anon, may we fight bravely.
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If she ever thinks about you, and goes "meh", she probably do it for a reason. Missing someone hurts, and women are more equity than men to just leave it alone and try and let go.

You should too. It doesn't mean there wasn't real love, it just mean accepting that the time you had to share that love is spoken for. It still exist, but it's now a part of some story you tell yourself.
She stopped contact in order to heal. It's the best way to get over someone. If you search yourself, you'll find reasons to think that this is a good thing. One day, possibly months from now, you stop and realise that you haven't thought about her for weeks, and you'll get a small smile on your face, before continuing your day.

Don't seek closure from her, seek it from within.
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>>16465076
Family ITT
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>>16464627

was in the same position as you, OP. can honestly say time heals all wounds. keep yourself busy with other activities and people, and don't keep contact with her. eventually you'll move on.
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>>16465076
Thanks a lot. Yeah i still have some shit leftover of hers... I know ill have to go eternal sunshine soon. Good call. Also trying to go out as much as possible.

>>16465078
>>16465165
Thanks, just some things i kind of needed to hear. I know its for the best really. I guess i just need time is all, and to really delete everything finally...
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>>16465180
very normal and very natural OP, ended things with the gf about a month ago and went through the exact same feelings. For the time, yes, she may hate you and from that does not want to speak with you/contact you whatsoever.

Keep busy, focus on the new guy that you can be. But for now, its cool to feel sad and down. It's what love does to you. Just don't be too hard on yourself, sometimes things don't work out and thats okay. You'll get through this mate
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Been dealing with the same feelings, OP. Always told me I was so special and that she couldn't picture herself with anyone else. Always so affectionate and loving with me. And now, she won't even talk to me at all.

I don't know what's going through her head. Was she lying to me this whole time? Why was it so easy for her to just forget me and cut me off? Does she hate me now? Is it my fault, did I do something wrong? I felt like she was the love of my life, and now I just feel empty and hollow. How can I trust my own judgment again? How can I trust other people again when they tell me I'm special to them?

It's kind of why I resent her. Telling someone they're special to you when they really aren't is pretty fucked up.
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>>16465224
Thank you, ya, focusing on trying to better by myself slowly but surely, just little things like working out and trying new things and walking a lot.

As for "she may hate you for now", yeah. I feel like maybe she does have bad feelings for me right now but i feel as if that will also fade over time. I mean she spent years with me telling me she loved me. Surelly shell remember positive things about me. I dont know how she wouldnt.

>>16465244
Yeah :/ as others are saying, we cant be too hard on ourselves. I also feel like itll be hard opening up again after feeling almost lied to, but i dont think thats fair to all the other people. I want to be willing to open myself up, but ill have to learn from this and be more careful too.
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>>16465288
Even if you ended on semi bad terms, she will most likely forgive you. Its exhausting for people to keep up grudges. Though it is selfish to think about, the most important person is your own being. Get back to loving yourself dude! it will come.
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>>16465313
Thank you! Some of the things said in this thread is honestly helping some of my thought processes. Appreciated.
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How recently did you guys split, OP?
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>>16465288
>>16465244

I think in the end you just have to get to the point where it doesn't matter what she was thinking, anymore. Like it might be nice to hear some reasoning or explanation, but the fact is you probably never will. You just have to get to the point where you don't care what her reasons were anymore. Where you can look back and say: Did she do it because she hated me? Was she lying? Oh well, who cares.
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>>16465381
About 6 weeks ago, hmm why do you ask?

>>16465382
Yeah, good point. Getting to that point may take a while but ill do my best to get to that point as soon as i can.
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>>16465424
Okay, that's not too long for this to not be normal. Just start forcing the feelings away OP and find someone else.
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>>16465469
Thanks. Keeping my mind open about finding someone else. May take time but trying to not get discouraged, think im doing ok in that regard
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>>16464627
Man just stop thinking about it one time this girl told me she would have my kids and we broke up the same fucking day. You can't believe a single thing that comes out of women's mouths they value temporary feelings over loyalty every single time I've seen a girl make the choice friends girls friends or otherwise.
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>>16465576
Ha , i gotcha man, thanks for the perspective
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Same thing happened to me. It's hard to udnerstand how someone can love you with all your heart yet break up with you because of distance, especially when it wasn't a problem in the past. Best thing is to get a new gf to make you forget about the old one. I'm sorry OP, the pain will slowly fade with time.
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>>16465917
Thanks, helps knowing others are in the same boat. Will keep what you said in mind.
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>>16465973
Also cut all ties to her. Take everything she gave you and everything that reminds you of her away where you can't see it. Delete her off social media.
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>>16465991
Yeah this is the thing i keep delaying. I deleted her off certain accounts where i could have seen her pics, but i still have her on skype. Gets me anxious at times when i see her not logging on. But its hard because in the back of my mind im hoping shell log on.

I know i really have to make that leap. Wondering if i delete or full on block. I keep putting it off saying ill def do it soon. But yeah... At this point ill make it as soon as fucking possible.
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>>16466012
Do it, trust me, i've been in a similar situation. Put it off for a while in case she'd message me and take me back. It won't happen, when you accept that you're on the road to recovery. If you get a ping of emotion every time you see her name you have to delete her.

It's tough, but putting it off will only make this more painful.
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>>16466036
Ya. I understand. It just sucks, deleting her off the other accounts was hard enough and i was like "what have i done?" after lol. Deleting the last ones will be even harder, like accepting that not only is it over, but that well never have another talk, share another laugh, help each other as a friend even.

But yeah, i know what i have to do. Thank you... Im playing some games right now but im going to try and sit down and do this tonight.
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>>16466063
It's going to be hard, but it will be worth it. There are a lot of people out there who have been in the same situation. We're all rooting for you. She's just one girl, there are plenty out there and there are even better ones waiting for you. You can do it!
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>>16464627
She was in heat and talking amped up with emotion. Divert your mental energies elsewhere day in and day out and don't be stuck on something that is only ever destined to be short term and won't make you into the man you're supposed to be.

Heal, grow, advance.
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>>16466073
>>16466129
Thank you.

I appreciate the support.

I deleted her skype. It fucking sucks but its also a relief. No more wondering if shes on

I cant believe i had to say good bye to her so suddenly after what we had... But im hoping this is a good step to healing, im feeling at least optimistic about that

Thanks anons, may not have done that if it werent for your replies.
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>>16464627
>>16464627
I'm very glad that I found this thread. My girlfriend of three years, my first love, just blindsided me two nights ago and I am at a loss of what to do. I've lost almost everything in my life- my job, my chance at higher education, my reputation, and I feel like this is the most painful of them all. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. She said that she still wants to be friends, and I told her that I can't see her that way. She told me that she may contact me after her finals. Should I just tell her to surely not do that to save myself more pain? I don't want to lose her, but I don't know if I can handle the anxiety of unknowing. Is it just better to cut all ties now?
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>>16466157
Good job. You'll thank yourself later.
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>>16464627
[most] women care only for what you can provide.

when youre long distance, you cant provide shit.

so its over now.

good. great. youre free to find someone who doesnt want you for what you can provide. you are free to grow above and beyond her.
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>>16466248
Thank youu. Im sure i will too soon. Its already a bit of relief.

>>16466255
Thank you for that

>>16466164
Op here so definitely unsure, but all i can say is if you feel you will need to say something to her, waiting only makes things worse; i waited to message her after the breakup for a month. Talked to her and had a good conversation but it broke my heart all over again afterwords. Its making me slowly realize how i cant really put myself in that position again.
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>>16466164
Tell her to leave you alone unless she is sure of what she wants.
Thread posts: 37
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