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Lost a million dollars

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So about 2 years ago I had the equivalent of winning a million+ with a lotto ticket and losing it on my way to claim it by dumb luck. Wont go into detail, only that it was career related and one of the most unluckiest things I've ever heard of. I was depressed my whole life(real ocd when I was young, the type where you have numbers for everything, where you need to do tasks, overcame it but you keep the perfectionist side that can never be fulfilled) but now this is something else..

How can you go from "I can finally be happy, holy shit I can't believe this is happening, if I do this right I will be set for life at the age of 22, I can do whatever I want" to your normal depressed life. Not only is it normal but now everything I do seems 10x harder and it's been 2 years since it happened with no signs of improvement. What would you do? What should I do?
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Realise that money was never going to fix your problems and that you can't turn back time and get it back, and move on. People spend less time hung up over their exes than you have over a piece of paper, Jesus.
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I won't lie, that's brutal. I know you're probably thinking of all the things you could've had, and how you could've turned your situation around, but you have to suck it up and accept that it happened. For what it's worth, many people win much more than that from the lottery and end up broke.
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>>16463969
Money would of fixed most problems. The main reason why people don't go after their dreams or do things they actually like is because of financial stability. Having money means you don't need to worry about it.. A girlfriend isn't worth 1 million+, let's be real here. There is plenty of fish in the sea.
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>>16463985
Yea, but that's because they fucked up. The worst thing of all? It wasn't my fault. I couldn't control it, be smart about it, I didn't get the option to. People who lost everything after winning the lotto are dumb af. Any smart person would get in talks with a financial advisor that doesn't take commission, invest a bunch of it(half safe, half risk since I'm young) and then use a bit right away to have some fun. I want the stability not the money.
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>>16463997
Try to let it go, I beg of you. Thinking of the things you've lost or missed out on drives you mad. My brain literally throbs because I have such a hard time letting the past go. Seek therapy if you need it.
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>>16463997
I am different than many in that I feel shame to be a very useful emotion at times. I feel that regret is also useful.

However, this is not the time for it, given that your story is accurate. If you've determined that losing the ticket was truly outside of your control, there's no regret nor shame needed.

If you were to betray the trust of someone you loved, shame and regret would be useful. If you were to act immorally, unethically, or incompetently in any significant way, shame and regret would be useful. In this way, I feel we learn our lessons more genuinely.

Of course I do understand that just because I can dictate to you that your acute regret is illogical within my narrow mental framework, this doesn't mean you can or will just go "oh, I should have just THOUGHT DIFFERENTLY WOW I NEVER WOULD HAVE COME UP WITH IT"

Still, some few people think similarly to me, but haven't had the exact same thoughts as I have. They find this useful. Not gonna say my advice about shame/regret is generalizable to everyone, as it relies on the proper use of shame/regret instead of avoidance.

You'll have to live with it, the same as others will be forced to live with circumstances beyond their control that affect them negatively. Your case is more tragic or heart-breaking than some, but less than others.

I wish you luck in managing yourself. Remember; you're in control.
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>>16464010
Tried therapy, it doesn't work for me. Most strategies implies lying to yourself, tried but I can't do that. I'm trying to let go but when your life was a depressed blur and you found a light, you cling to it hard. Long after the bulb died..
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>>16464035
Don't let this break you. Don't let it be the thing that takes ahold of your life, I'm telling you. Accept that a really good thing almost happened but didn't.
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I'm one of the few people on here who can understand what this feels like. I play poker professionally and I have won and lost a lot of money over the past 5 years. In the end it would be about the same if I had worked a normal job but it's probably more fun. I play tournaments and I copped some real bad luck deep in big tournaments to not make life changing money. You only get a few of these spots in your lifetime and I may have missed mine. The only thing you can do is to focus on the future and make goals for youself going forward.

There are many set backs in life, workethic overcomes them all.

Chin up buddy
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>>16464033
Thanks but having something that big br reliant on pure luck, scares you for anything that involves chance, be it 50% or 1%. No matter what you do in life, no matter how skilled, you could lose hand after hand, never getting good cards. I will continue playing because I don't have a choice.. It is not a question of not thinking about it, it's a part of me, it's a nurtured fear.
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>>16464050
We are 7 billion, chances are I won't make a difference. Most of us wont make it in the 1-5%(not my goal but would make life easy), that's why they call it that. When you can see the future, with statistics, and you know your faith with a certainty that anyone would happily bet on.. It is a bit depressing to say the least. I won't find happiness in a family, I won't find happiness in my career, I won't find happiness. "But anon, you don't know it till you try it" you don't understand, the reason you are happy in that situation is either 1, it was your goal anyways and you seeked it , or 2, your animal instinct to survive and pass on your genes guide you and comforts you to that boring life.
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>>16464053
You're completely correct- the concept of the lion's share of circumstances around us being completely outside of our control scares the fuck out of some folks. Some people take comfort from this; often these people are religious or spiritual in nature as well.

For me it is simultaneously horrifying and endearing. I find it so magical; the notion of beings higher than ourselves pulling the strings of the world around us on whims or deeper design or for reasons we couldn't begin to comprehend. I find it so magical that I'm a bit forced to believe in it! And through belief, I believe (hah, getting circular here..) there is power. Almost a self-made reality.

Or advanced delusion. I've got no illusions there; but I've formulated a worldview that resonates with me for the moment..either through design or chance this worldview is very comforting.

And scary, too.

> I will continue playing because I don't have a choice.

I'm a very dissonant person, sometimes. This statement encourages me to no end, but saddens me at the same time. I'm in love with the concept of free choice or free will. I'd adore fully believing that we absolutely DO have a choice with everything.

But at the same time, I'm constantly saying to myself "I MUST do this, I MUST do that", as if I really do NOT have a choice. And this is a bit comforting as well, the feeling of destiny, I guess.

I apologize for my rambling nature. I'd like to thank you, for allowing me to unfortunately poorly share some things with you. Their use might be dubious to you, but being able to take a few thoughts out of my overly-busy head and write them out is good for me.

So thanks for that.
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>>16464078
Please don't include faith in here. I don't want to be rude but I could ramble all night long how faith in a higher power is crazy, that faith should be used logically and not the way people use it. How it ruined the world today(yes even you bedroom believer) etc.. I'm sorry to be rude but you have to see it from my position, getting severely annoyed by religion harping on depression.

>inb4 belittling me because of insecurities
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>>16463963

Get this into your head: Things that did not happen did not happen. There is no parallel universe in which they might have happened. There is no alternate you who, if only one thing had gone differently, would be so much happier than you are.

You are you. This is the real world. Deal with it.

I'm not being harsh. Most of your unhappiness is self-created, because you keep comparing your life to that imaginary "if-only" life. There IS NO if-only. It never happened.

The real world - the one you are in right now - has lots of good things to offer that you can only appreciate if you stop measuring it by that world that never existed.
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>>16464103
You've not insulted me, so you're not being rude at all. Your belief differs greatly from my own...which I've not explained outside of a very cursory and ambiguous nature. It is far outside of conventional Abrahamic tradition, though. I'll say that.

I'm disappointed in myself for portraying my message as harping on depression. I've been in a very low position before from that very thing; I'm just very loathe to call it by that name. Where you are adverse to the spiritual/religious aspects I've shared of myself, I am adverse to what I feel is an overly cut-and-dry clinical approach to mental health.

Both of us fervently believe that our viewpoint is valid and correct. I'm in no position to tell you that you're incorrect. At least, my claim that your ideology is incorrect has no validity.

But as I said before, I really regret that you feel I was "harping on depression". In order to crawl out of the despair and the absolutely fucking bleak stagnation of depression, I formulated a mental framework in which I made each of the mental abnormalities or aberrations contained in my head into an entity against which to focus my negative emotion. My anger and disgust, most usefully. In order to excise the cancerous thought patterns and stifling recurring notions I had to...best way to put it is committing terminating violence against the depression-turned-into-entity.

I'm hoping that through my next few years I can make this process more concrete and explainable. I'm confident it sounds like bullshit tripe right now.
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>>16464112
>Get this into your head: Things that did not happen did not happen. There is no parallel universe in which they might have happened. There is no alternate you who, if only one thing had gone differently, would be so much happier than you are.
>You are you. This is the real world. Deal with it.
>I'm not being harsh. Most of your unhappiness is self-created, because you keep comparing your life to that imaginary "if-only" life. There IS NO if-only. It never happened.
>The real world - the one you are in right now - has lots of good things to offer that you can only appreciate if you stop measuring it by that world that never existed.

I mentioned that I was depressed before that.

>>16464127
You sound sincere, you seem to have a good system for yourself. Whatever makes you move forward is good.

Though, for me, I want to find another way than spirituality.
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>>16464144
>You sound sincere, you seem to have a good system for yourself. Whatever makes you move forward is good.

>Though, for me, I want to find another way than spirituality.

Very good, man. Keep that search up. Once you find it, you'll know it right in the pit of your gut.

I'm very scattered at this stage in my life. I feel as though I'm learning more, but I'm ill-equipped to put the pieces together.

Pragmatically, I'm much more in touch with something you'd like, I feel.

Religion aside, I can boil down the current "reason" for my existence. That is to say, my self-generated purpose for life/existence; not one ascribed to me by a deity or another human.

I can simplify it to one sentence: I must contribute significant tangible benefits at the peak of my capacity and eptitude, in order to play a meaningful role in the social, technological, and spiritual advancement of the human species; catalyzing our rapid manned exploration and eventual colonization efforts into our solar system and far beyond.

In the "here and now", this is my reason for existing. I place the "here and now" as separate from my more spiritual beliefs; but no less or more important.
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