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So my absolutely perfect "the one" girlfriend broke

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So my absolutely perfect "the one" girlfriend broke up with me because I moved three hours away for college. She's a high school senior this year and I'm a college freshman. She is coming to the same college next year too. However, instead of just cutting ties with me, she decided to keep me on as a "best friend," or as I see it, a texting buddy. We call and text non stop every single day, and have been since June when she dumped me. She even calls me babe sometimes and let's me flirt with her and say couple things. However, the second I bring up love or mention a relationship, she says something like "I don't love you anymore. If you won't be my friend, I will leave. Get over me." Why would she do this? She says she values me so much as a person but can't be in a relationship with me. I would rather die than live without her, terrible "oneitis," I know but that is how much I love her. I even am considering writing her a letter that is a copy of the one I sent her when I first asked her to be my girlfriend in order to make her remember how in love we once were. I feel as though she is simply trying to shut out her feelings for me in order to avoid the pain of a long distance relationship. cont
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>>16446061
So today I finally told her that I can never get over her if she is still in my life, so I recommended we take a one week break from one another, no contact, so that we can evaluate how life would be without one another, and so that hopefully she will see the value I have in her life. I don't know what to do. I think of her twenty four hours a day and shake from fear that she won't love me again. Please help me in any way. I'm so stressed about this. I can answer any questions if I wasn't clear at first. "Other fish in the sea" posters need not apply. It's either her or no one for me.
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>>16446061
Don't communicate with that bish, there's your advice. She appears to be toxic, lose those feelings for her. GO NOW!
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>>16446061
If your mental health is in any way shape or form dear to you, you'll have to take some time without her in your life.
I know this is not what you like to hear but you knew you'd get this answer, right?
Girls do this a lot, keeping ex's around "as friends", for guys this usually doesn't work (at least not right away).
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>>16446061
If she's so perfect then why doesn't she want to be with you?
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If you don't want to have "other fish in the sea" posters, what advice do you want?

We've all had that first love that was seemed so deep and unbreakable but most of the time, it doesn't last. Eventually, you will get over her. It'll just take time. One day, after all the crying and being tired from all the misery you're going through, you'll realise that it's not worth the effort.

I spent pretty much a year getting over my first girlfriend. It absolutely sucked, but I'm over it. You'll get over it too, once you're done trying to rationalise everything.
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>>16446080
>If you don't want to have "other fish in the sea" posters, what advice do you want?
we need to validate him and tell him that his case is special because nobody has ever loved a girl as much as OP did.
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>>16446064
>"Other fish in the sea" posters need not apply. It's either her or no one for me.
gosh anon, for some faggot coming out of his first relationship, you seem to have it all figured out
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If I told you what you want to hear I'd be telling a lie. She doesn't love you anymore and you need to get over her. You think she's trying to shut out her feelings because you don't want to face the truth.

My advice is that you cut contact with her for a few months and face the fact that you will never be with this girl again. It sounds like you moving away wasn't the only reason she dumped you.
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>>16446061
>keep me on as a "best friend"
kek
you're basically her kek bitch now

drop her ass OP. you're in college now- plenty of opportunity for other relationships down the line. forget about her
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>>16446061
she met a cooler guy?
or else, you're just a boring clingy faggot?

it always seems like "she's the greatest girl you were ever going to meet" until you meet the next one.
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Fuck her right off, OP. As soon as you stop talking to her, she'll be begging for your attention. At that point, you have to stop the urge to respond to her. She's toxic. You can find better girls who actually give a fuck about your feelings.

Source: been through similar situation
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Yes I am a clingy know-it-all retarded faggot, I accept that

>>16446178
How do I "fuck her right off?" Hobbies? I have plenty I truly don't know how to let go.
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>>16446192
>I accept that
Why do you accept this?

Improve yourself, anon. Get fit. Experiment with some hobbies that aren't anime or vidya. You're in fucking university, force yourself to do all the orientation social shit and meet some new people.

The only reason you're so hung up over this girl is because you've got no self-respect.
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>>16446178
>as soon as you stop responding

THIS!!!!!

Go cold turkey ESPECIALLY after she asks a question. Bonus points if its about herself. You need to look elsewhere for love too if she doesnt provide what you want.
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>>16446217
Okay but this is a baseless assertion. I run for two hours every day because I'm on the cross country team and I have loads of friends and classes so I'm not sure what your point is here. I love her so much that letting her go would be more lacking of self respect than anything else I could do.
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OP you're destroying your best college moments for some random girl.


SERIOUSLY.
The week you will be graduating you'll think "WTF have i DONE!!!" because you waste your mind, energy and chances of enjoying other people, other girls and general happiness.

I recommend the following. Your "let's take a break for a week" was a BITCH move to see her reaction. She is not going to react. She's actually going to be happy because she knows you'll be back as desperate as before, but you're not bothering her.


So next time she says "we can only be friends, if you don't accept it, leave. Get over it"
Then you say "you're right. goodbye then. Take care"

AND ACTUALLY FUCKING LEAVE. never to contact her ever again in your entire fucking LIFE. DELETE her from facebook, phone number, skype. whatever.
If you're going to be a little bitch, then the least you can do is write down her contact info somewhere and hide it away.

In a few months, depends on each person, you won't care as much. If after that she contacts you, you can hit her up.
But I don't recommend it. Because you're going to lie to yourself about being over her, and do whatever to be in contact with her again.


So, if you want to get over the pain, you can only remove her from your life.
But being a little desperate bitch like you're being now, will just drive her more and more away.

YOUR CHOICE.
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>>16446241
>I love her so much that letting her go would be more lacking of self respect than anything else I could do.
Not that anon, but do you realize how little self respect you have for yourself right now? I'm not going to question or doubt your love, but you're becoming an adult. One thing you're going to have to learn is that sometimes love is not enough. Your ex shut off her emotions and shut you down. She's calling all the shots. She's dictating everything that's happening. And what's worth, is she's using you as an emotion rag, but only on her terms. What is she giving back to you that makes you think it's okay for her to think so little of you? To do so little for you? You're obviously willing to go to the ends of the earth for her, which honestly is getting pretty unhealthy (this thread is cringeworthy... take better care of your emotional health). What is she willing to do for you? Allow you to continue worshipping her? How benevolent of your ex. I think it might be the immaturity in this situation, but I don't think she's good for you. On some level, you have to admit that. There are unhealthy things going on emotionally. Can you at least admit that? And by consenting to this unhealthy balance, you lack more self-respect than you would if you stood up for yourself and asked to be treated kindly, fairly, and with consideration.
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If you really want her back OP, you're going to have to have some self control and not look so needy. Just back off a bit. You already initiated a no contact for a week, but make that longer. Wait until she contacts you. Make your feelings uncertain. Right now she knows you're weak and in your feminine so she'll just keep you around as an emotional tampon to make her feel better. Also, work on yourself in the meantime. Read some self help books to get you back grounded. I recommend 3% Man by Corey Wayne, great guy, great book. Even has YouTube videos to go along with it.
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>>16446241
>I love her so much that letting her go would be more lacking of self respect
just so we're clear, this is your first girlfriend

Try an abstract yourself for a minute.
What are the odds that you found the perfect woman, and what are the odds that you only think you've found the perfect woman because this is the first person you were ever intimate with?
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>>16446061

OP, "the one" wouldn't do this to you. She's putting you through hell, so she can have a bit of mental security while she looks for someone better than you: someone taller, better looking, more earning potential...more "social value".

This is fucked up behavior. A women like this is not marriage material. She is a bad person, though obviously no one involved in the situation is willing to admit this.

You're not in love with her. You're in love with the IDEA of her. The real "her" is not worthy of being loved romantically. Unfortunately she won't realize this until after a couple of failed marriages.

OP, you have to ram the above through your head until you no longer have the desire to be her beta orbiter.
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>>16446365
>This is fucked up behavior. A women like this is not marriage material. She is a bad person
Kek, becuase she hangs out with her exes?

Different people have different expectations for what happens after a relationship. If one person lacks the emotional stability to keep up contact without obsessing and making themselves miserable, then it's on that person to end contact.

I'm decent friends with 2 of my ex gfs. Nobody can call you on your bullshit like an ex, which is something that I really need once in a while.
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tell her you met someone and see her reaction. you can't make her love you, OP, so stop trying. you cut ties with her right now.
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>>16446434
Not OP but wondering if i should do this. Broke up about a month ago... Ive ended contact and i accepted its over. But i would still want to be with her if she wants.
Wondering if i should play some kind of mind game if she ever messages me again, like tell her i started seeing someone. Then i see a strong reaction? Is there anything there?
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>>16446087
Rip. I thought no one loved their ex like i did.
Thread posts: 25
Thread images: 2


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