[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

How close is too close when you're practicing abstinence?

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 13
Thread images: 1

File: image.jpg (34KB, 640x320px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
34KB, 640x320px
This story has too many details to write in one post, so I'm just giving the nitty gritty:

Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly three years. We've lived together for the last two.

Around 3 months ago, my girlfriend (a Catholic) starts a conversation in bed about wanting to practice abstinence until marriage. Up until that point we had been having sex at least once a week. I agreed after we talked about it further.

Since then I've been fine, trying to stay true to the decision we made. This weekend she became overly physical though, essentially asking and telling me that she needed to make out and dry hump. I tried but felt very awkward considering it was her idea to practice abstinence, yet she was fine walking the line just next to us fucking.

I explained this to her, and she got fairly upset.

I'm just confused.
She thought she could make it, she was wrong. it was a stupid idea, be glad it's over.
your relationship is more fucked than mine. uhhh, that sounds like a whole lotta bullshit. like everything about that story is fucked.

sounds like she cheated on you, then the guy she was cheating with blew her off so she came back to you and was mad when you refused.
refrain from giving relationship advice, please

Part of me is trying not to be upset, but she's always been serious about her faith and religion. I thought it was a big thing to ask when she originally brought it up, but I was willing to give a shot if that's what she really felt like she needed to do.

I told her last night that I thought it was out of bounds that essentially she wants me to act like a horny teenager (flirty, grab her, making out, dry humping) and then expect me not to get some afterward. She even blurted out that afterwards I should "just jerk off", which is just ridiculous. I was quick to remind her that if this whole thing was about faith and religion, than "jerking off" is out of bounds and that in order to not sin we should remove ourselves from temptation.

She eventually settled down, but said to not be surprised if she's "more distant" from now on so she doesn't get hurt. I told her I was fine agreeing to abstinence, but I never agreed to it under the condition that my girlfriend would be "more distant".

Overall, I'm just getting fed up that this whole situation, which I thought was very mature of her at the time (we're 27/28), seems to be just turning into a load of bullshit despite my willingness and patience along the way.
Honestly this is the problem with abstinence after the deed. Sex feels good and brings us closer, on a biological level. If your able to build a relationship without sex thats great, it shows a strong relationship that will improve when sex is introduced. But going from getting that release with that person to not getting that release isn't healthy for the relationship. You won't be as close as you were, because that is as close as a man can get to another person, and aside from being pregnant it as close as a woman can get as well.
Just explain to her that dry humping and all that is not different from actual sex, and that love is what actually matters, more than marriage.
Stop dating a catholic.
But dry humping is completely different than physical intercourse.

Also, we both agree that we love each other, but marriage is a very big deal in her culture. She's from a south Asian country and her parents are constantly pressuring her to tie the knot, meaning she's constantly pressuring me to tie the knot.

Part of me almost wonders if this might have just been a ploy to try and make me propose, honestly.
Bingo you retard, she's trying to trap you. Issues a no sex scenario, realises you aren't suffering as badly without it as she anticipated, cock teases you out of it with lame alternatives like dry humping. Abort it, sounds like a real juvenile bitch anyway.
No offense OP, you know her better than any of us here, but she doesn't seem very Catholic to me. While I agree with your logic, it kind of makes sense for her to not take the abstinence thing too seriously. After all it sounds like you two have been having sex regularly anyway....not very Catholic.
>But dry humping is completely different than physical intercourse
Both are physical (sexual) reliefs that come from the desire and love I'm sure you have for each other, there's no difference.
She's been like that since we met, though it wasn't as apparent at the time. She got married when she was younger (18) and divorced after a year (apparently he was a drug addict). We were having sex and we're living together out of wedlock. I'm not trying to bash her, as it never bothered me until her religion began interfering with us the way it has been recently.

I was happy with my religious identity when we first met, and have been throughout our relationship. I just want her to be as comfortable with our situation as I am without feeling "distant".

Like, I'm trying to just roll with the punches, but I feel like I have to draw a line somewhere. You can't just tell your partner you want to stop having sex then get mad at them when they don't feel like dry humping because it will just cause sexual frustration. Because that's what she did, she got mad at me because I wasn't being affectionate enough and making her feel wanted. Once I reminded her about resisting sin and the situations that cause it she calmed down slightly, but came right back with the whole "she'll be more distant from now on" line.

I love the girl, I really do, and I've tried to be patient through this whole thing; I feel like I'm at a tipping point.
Thread posts: 13
Thread images: 1

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.