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Confusion

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Married guy here, I'm friends with a female who recently got married. We worked together and got to be friends, but live about an hour apart so we are friends but run in totally different circles of people so our lives don't really overlap. Anyways, the issue I'm having is that about ten months ago she built a new house with her fiance( now husband), and for the past ten months she has said many occasions that we should come out and I always tell her anytime she can have us, we would love to, but she never actually invites us. So I assume it's a bullshit invite. The part that pisses me off Is that I'm not the one that brings it up, so why does she make these false offers. I finally said to her the other day " listen, I appreciate that you say you will have us over, but we both know you aren't going to actually invite us, so please just stop saying you will, kind of a disappointimg to hear all the time when it never happens. We talk fairly regular, but if we aren't those type of friends, no big deal". She got kinda irritated and was like " come this weekend or next then" we can't cause my wife is working shift work so I said no and said why.was i wrong in saying it cut and clear like that? She doesn't have the right to be irritated that I called her out. Should add, I don't know her husband at all, met him like twice, she knows my wife a bit, but like I said we run in totally different circles. Is some of that what the issue is? It's kinda like we are acquaintances but not friends I guess, but I mean we went to her wedding and stuff which was really just family and pretty close friends, confuses the fuck out of me.
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If she's always asking you to come stay, all you had to do was say "hey would it be cool if we came and stayed this weekend?" and tried to sort out some sort of arrangement that works for her and her husband, and you and your wife. There was no reason to go all autistic on her
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>>16440210

heres some advice: paragraphs.

that being said, dude wtf you showed your power level. dont get me wrong its irritating to hear that my mom does it all the time with 'oh i saw this thing online, ill send you the link'. i have never received an email fro mthis woman.

but do you think i say 'no you wont, stop acting like we will, were not that close' i mean JESUS.

its something people say 'oh you should come out sometime itd be fun' i mean fuck, onsidering how busy you were these next two weekend do you not think that maybe her social calendar is busy so she brings it up but knows it cant be in the immediate future?

i mean why get so mad about this its work conversation
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Op here, I tried that once or twice. Didn't work, she answers like" no can't, I'll let you know when it will work"
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You shouldn't call acquaintances out on shit, you're just making drama for yourself. You shouldn't call people out unless you're damn sure that the issue is worth causing waves about. In this case, who the fuck cares if she keeps emptily inviting you out? Just say 'haha sure' and know it's never going to happen. Now it's going to be awkward and shit.
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Op here again, I should maybe state we have a pretty open and candid relationship when we talk, so I know that looked rude what i said, but that is kind of the way we usually are. The main thing that illustrates me is the repeated statement, with no follow through.i bet that had come up at least ten times in last ten months, to me that gets old. I realize the immediate future aspect thing, I didn't say it had to be today, I just meant sometime. If I said that, I'd follow through
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>>16440271

If you had an open candid relationship maybe it would have been better if you were like "lol but yeah we know you're never really going to invite us" instead of the most seemingly hostile way you put it? I don't know, I'm not saying you were 100 percent wrong but of course this made shit awkward.
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>>16440267
I don't call acquaintances out, I really think we are friends, like I said small wedding and we were invited and went, only person she knows from work invited, so I assume that's more friendly that acquaintance. And I'm not worried about awkward, we talked next day and all is good, but I guess I'll see what happens in the coming months. My wife works almost every weekend till after Christmas, I told her that. So I hope she either follows through or doesn't bring it up anymore in the new year, either one will be fine
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>>16440282
I've tried saying it jokingly, no results. I just am not a beat around the bush guy, so does everyone else just let it piss them off inside and prance around an issue so someone doesn't get hurt feelings? Fuck that, if I was driving someone nuts, I wish they would tell me, and I wouldn't get all irritated. But then again,i don't get mad at constructive criticism at work either
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>>16440301

I think that normally someone just wouldn't fucking care if someone was going to keep talking about something that was never going to happen. If I called everyone out on shit they talked about that was never going to happen I would have long ass days everyday. I mean how upsetting was it really for her to talk about it?
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>>16440321
You lost me at the end there, sorry
Thread posts: 11
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